Gilligan's Island
1964
Ginger Grant: Wahine wiki huki luki nu, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Gilligan: That's beautiful. What's it mean? Ginger Grant: It means this bar is off-limits to all military personnel.
Skipper Jonas Grumby: You don't know anything about space. Gilligan: I do know one thing. You take up more of it than I do.
Gilligan: Hiya, Professor. What are you doing? Professor Roy Hinkley: I'm making notes for a book. It's to be a chronicle of our adventures on the island... I think it's a book people will want to buy, don't you? Gilligan: Sure, I'll buy one. I'm dying to find out what happens to us.
Eunice Wentworth "Lovey" Howell: Anyone who says money can't buy happiness doesn't know where to shop.
Professor Roy Hinkley: Well, that glue is permanent! There's nothing on the island to dissolve it. Why do you know what it would take? It would take a polyester derivative of an organic hydroxide molecule. Thurston Howell III: Watch your language! You're in the presence of a lady!
Skipper Jonas Grumby: Ginger, I've got a problem... I've got a real problem... now you're a girl, right? Ginger Grant: Well, if you're not sure about that, you have got a problem!
Skipper Jonas Grumby: Gilligan little buddy come with me. Gilligan: I'm not finished yet. Skipper Jonas Grumby: Gilligan come with me! Gilligan: I'm finished.
Thurston Howell III: The 'Wizard of Wall Street' strikes again!
Skipper Jonas Grumby: I'm not gonna marry that native girl!
(the castaways have set up a courtroom and are conducting a trial) Thurston Howell III: Your Honor, will you get another gavel? Professor Roy Hinkley: Why? Thurston Howell III: That one's squirting milk all over me. (Later in the same courtroom sequence) Skipper Jonas Grumby: Ginger's very damaging to us. Gilligan: Yeah, her testimony. Skipper Jonas Grumby: No, her legs. (And finally...) Thurston Howell III: I'd like to charge Mary Ann with murder. Professor Roy Hinkley: Murder? Thurston Howell III: Her testimony's killing me.
Gilligan: You're a big man with a big head and - -... Skipper Jonas Grumby: Gilligan! Gilligan: And a big heart. Skipper Jonas Grumby: Oh, thank you.
Thurston Howell III: What is this slop? Skipper Jonas Grumby: It's Gilligan's own creation, Mr Howell, It's coconut pot pie.
Gilligan: What was that stuff you just gave me? Eunice Wentworth "Lovey" Howell: That will help you sleep, it's a setative. Gilligan: Thanks, Mrs Howell, but you're wasting your time. Those things don't work on me. I remember once ... (falls asleep)
Gilligan: Skipper, should I pick the yellow bananas or the red bananas, because the yellow bananas are green. Skipper Jonas Grumby: Then pick the red ones. Gilligan: But the red ones are pink. Skipper Jonas Grumby: Gilligan, I don't care if you pick red white and blue bananas, just pick some bananas! Gilligan: Okay, Skipper... Blue bananas?
Professor Roy Hinkley: I'll get Mr Howell and we'll reconnoiter. Skipper Jonas Grumby: Alright, we'll get Mr Howell and we'll reconnoiter. Come on. Gilligan: Okay, but I think we ought to scout around a bit first.
(Dream sequence: "Doctor" Gilligan is on trial, accused of being Mr Hyde) Mary Ann Summers: (as a coarse Eliza Dolittle type) Just a poor cockney flower girl, that's all Ah is! But Ah owes *everything* to Doctor Gilligan. 'E taught me to *walk*, and to *talk*, and to *dress*, like a regular LADY! 'E give me real CLASS 'e did! (blows nose loudly)
Gilligan: Do those headhunters really collect heads, Professor? Professor Roy Hinkley: Yes, Gilligan. They boil them... they shrink them... and then they mount them on sticks. Gilligan: Eeeeeeew, what a crazy cane!
Gilligan: Skipper, are you asleep? Skipper Jonas Grumby: (sarcastically) Yes. Gilligan: Oh, well when you wake up will you tell me if you've seen my rabbit's foot?
Thurston Howell III: You goofed, didn't you? Robot: I am not programmed for that information. Thurston Howell III: I wonder what next year's models are gonna look like. Robot: I am not... Thurston Howell III: Oh shut up!
Skipper Jonas Grumby: I guess it will be a long time before you'll eat another mushroom. Mary Ann Summers: You can say that again. Skipper Jonas Grumby: I guess it will be a long time... (laughs) Gilligan: Don't worry about mushrooms anymore, I got a book that tells all about them. Skipper Jonas Grumby: You do? Gilligan: Huh huh. Yeah, and it's called, "'How to Tell A Mushroom From a Toadstool'" by the late Dr Morton Kepstone. Skipper Jonas Grumby, Mary Ann Summers: Late? Gilligan: Late?
Professor Roy Hinkley: Listen, Gilligan, how far down was she? How many feet? Gilligan: Professor, in navy circles, we don't say "feet". We say "fathoms". Professor Roy Hinkley: Alright, how many fathoms? Gilligan: Oh I don't know, about 15 feet.
Skipper Jonas Grumby: (upon finding a robot) Oh for goodness sakes, that's just what we needed. The tin fugitive from the Wizard of Oz.
Skipper Jonas Grumby: If I were ever seen talking to this refugee from a junk yard, they'd think the skipper lost all his marbles. Robot: The skipper lost his marbles.