Ghost Busters
1984
(Inspecting Dana's refrigerator for paranormal activity) Dr Peter Venkman: Oh my God. Look at all the junk food. Dana Barrett: No. No, Dammit. Look this wasn't here... Dr Peter Venkman: You actually eat this? Dana Barrett: No, this wasn't here. There was nothing here. There was this... space, with a building or something with flames coming out of it, and there were creatures writhing around it, and they were growling and snarling. And there were flames, and I heard a voice say "Zuul" I mean it was right here. Dr Peter Venkman: Well I'm sorry, I'm just not getting any reading. Dana Barrett: Well are you sure you're using that thing correctly? Dr Peter Venkman: Yeah, Its not... I mean I think so, but Im sure there are no animals in there. Dana Barrett: This is great. Either I have a monster in my kitchen or I'm completely crazy. Dr Peter Venkman: (smiles) I don't think you're crazy. Dana Barrett: (sarcastically) Oh good, that makes me feel so much better.
Gozer: (Evil voice) Are you a God? Dr Ray Stantz: (Peter nods) No. Gozer: Then... DIE! (Electrocutes the Ghostbusters; pushing them to the edge of the apartment building; people screaming) Winston Zeddemore: Ray, when someone asks if you're a God, you say "Yes"! Dr Peter Venkman: All right! This chick is TOAST! Dr Peter Venkman: (The team walks toward Gozer) Grab your sticks. Ray, Egon, & Winston: HOLDING! Dr Peter Venkman: Heat 'um up! Ray, Egon, & Winston: SMOKING! Dr Peter Venkman: (Gozer growls) Make 'um hard! Ray, Egon, & Winston: READY! Dr Peter Venkman: Let's show this prehistoric bitch who we do thing downtown. THROW IT!
(Dana is at home doing exercises as she watches the news on television) Roger Grimsby: Good morning, I'm Roger Grimsby. Today, the entire Eastern Seaboard is alive with talk of incidents of paranormal activity. Alleged ghost sightings and related supernatural occurances have been reported across the entire Tri-State area.
Larry King: Hi, this is Larry King. The phone-in topic Today: "Ghosts and Ghostbusting." The controversy builds, more sightings are reported, some maintain that these professional paranormal eliminators in New York are the cause of it all.
Casey Kasem: Still making headlines all across the country, the Ghostbusters are at it again. This time, at the fashionable dance club, "The Rose." The boys in gray slugged it out with a pretty pesky poltergeist, then stayed on to dance the night away with some of the lovely ladies who witnessed the disturbance. This is Casey Kasem. Now, on with the countdown.
Dr Peter Venkman: Nimble little minx. Dr Egon Spengler: We better go at full speed. Dr Ray Stantz: Aim for the flattop! (Ghostbusters shoots at Gozer, but she disappears) Dr Peter Venkman: (proton guns shut off) Wasn't so bad.
Winston Zeddemore: Hey, wait a minute. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hold it. Now, are we actually gonna go before a federal judge, and tell him that some moldy Babylonian God is going to drop in on Central Park West, and start tearing up the city? Dr Egon Spengler: Sumerian, not Babylonian. Dr Peter Venkman: Yeah. Big difference. Winston Zeddemore: No offense, guys, but I've gotta get my own lawyer.
Dr Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions. Mayor: What do you mean, "biblical"? Dr Ray Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr Mayor, real wrath-of-God type stuff. Dr Peter Venkman: Exactly. Dr Ray Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling. Dr Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes... Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave. Dr Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria.
Man at Elevator: What are you supposed to be, some kind of a cosmonaut? Dr Peter Venkman: No, we're exterminators. Someone saw a cockroach up on twelve. Man at Elevator: That's gotta be some cockroach. Dr Peter Venkman: Bite your head off, man. Dr Ray Stantz: (Entering elevator) Going up? Man at Elevator: I'll take the next one.
Dr Ray Stantz: You know, it just occurred to me that we really haven't had a successful test of this equipment. Dr Egon Spengler: I blame myself. Dr Peter Venkman: So do I. Dr Ray Stantz: Well, no sense in worrying about it now. Dr Peter Venkman: Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.
Dana Barrett: You know, you don't act like a scientist. Dr Peter Venkman: They're usually pretty stiff. Dana Barrett: You're more like a game show host.
(Dana, possessed by "The Gatekeeper," answers the door) Dana Barrett: Are you the Keymaster? Dr Peter Venkman: Not that I know of. (She slams the door in his face. Venkman knocks again) Dana Barrett: Are you the Keymaster? Dr Peter Venkman: Yes. Actually I'm a friend of his, he asked me to meet him here.
Dr Ray Stantz: I think we'd better split up. Dr Egon Spengler: Good idea. Dr Peter Venkman: Yeah... we can do more damage that way.
(evaluating a site for their business) Dr Peter Venkman: What do you think, Egon? Dr Egon Spengler: I think this building should be condemned. There's serious metal fatigue in all the load-bearing members, the wiring is substandard, it's completely inadequate for our power needs, and the neighborhood is like a demilitarized zone. Dr Ray Stantz: Hey. Does this pole still work? (slides down a fireman's pole) Dr Ray Stantz: Wow. This place is great. When can we move in? You gotta try this pole. I'm gonna get my stuff. Hey. We should stay here. Tonight. Sleep here. You know, to try it out. (Venkman looks at Spengler. Spengler slowly shakes his head. Venkman turns to the real estate agent) Dr Peter Venkman: I think we'll take it.
(business is terrible at Ghostbusters) Janine Melnitz: (answers the phone) Hello, Ghostbusters... Yes, of course they're serious... You do?... You have?... No kidding. Just gimme the address... Oh sure, they will be totally discreet. Thank you (hangs up) WE GOT ONE.
Dr Peter Venkman: We've been going about this all wrong, this Mr Stay Puft's okay, he's a sailor, he's in New York, we get this guy laid we won't have any trouble.
Dr Peter Venkman: Ray has gone bye-bye, Egon... what've you got left? Dr Egon Spengler: Sorry, Venkman, I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.
(after the Ghostbusters fail to "get" the library ghost and instead run away in terror) Dr Peter Venkman: Hee hee. "Get her." That was your whole plan. I like it; it was scientific.
Dr Peter Venkman: Mother pus bucket.
Dr Ray Stantz: My parents left me that house. I was born there. Dr Peter Venkman: You're not gonna lose the house, everybody has three mortgages nowadays.
Dr Egon Spengler: I feel like the floor of a taxi cab.
Dr Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you. Dr Peter Venkman: What? Dr Egon Spengler: Don't cross the streams. Dr Peter Venkman: Why? Dr Egon Spengler: It would be bad. Dr Peter Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad?" Dr Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light. Dr Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal. Dr Peter Venkman: Right. That's bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.
Dr Peter Venkman: We came, we saw, we kicked its ass.
Dr Peter Venkman: Somebody blows their nose and you want to keep it?
Dr Ray Stantz: Symmetrical book stacking. Just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947. Dr Peter Venkman: You're right, no human being would stack books like this.
Dr Ray Stantz: Shh. Listen. Do you smell that?
Dr Peter Venkman: I don't have to take this abuse from you, I've got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.
Dr Peter Venkman: (Venkman is surrounded by excited reporters during the montate sequence, which shows the Ghostbusters as a sudden popular culture craze) Twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, no job is too big, no fee is too big!
(first lines) Dr Peter Venkman: All right, I'm gonna turn over the next card. Concentrate... I want you to tell me what you think it is.
Dr Peter Venkman: I've been slimed.
Dr Egon Spengler: (surveying a wrecked apartment building corridor having climbed over thirty flights of stairs with his proton pack) (casually) Art Deco, very nice!
Dr Peter Venkman: (discussing the creature Dana saw in her fridge) Zuul was the minion of Gozer. Dana Barrett: What's Gozer? Dr Peter Venkman: Gozer was very big in Sumeria Dana Barrett: Well, what's he doing in my ice box? Dr Peter Venkman: I'm working on that.
Dr Peter Venkman: Alice, I'm going to ask you a couple of standard questions, okay? Have you or any of your family been diagnosed schizophrenic? Mentally incompetant? Librarian Alice: My uncle thought he was Saint Jerome. Dr Peter Venkman: I'd call that a big yes. Uh, are you habitually using drugs? Stimulants? Alcohol? Librarian Alice: No. Dr Peter Venkman: No, no. Just asking. Are you, Alice, menstruating right now? Man at Library: What's has that got to do with it? Dr Peter Venkman: Back off, man. I'm a scientist.
Dr Peter Venkman: This chick is *toast*.
Janine Melnitz: You're very handy, I can tell. I bet you like to read a lot, too. Dr Egon Spengler: Print is dead. Janine Melnitz: Oh, that's very fascinating to me. I read a lot myself. Some people think I'm too intellectual but I think it's a fabulous way to spend your spare time. I also play raquetball. Do you have any hobbies? Dr Egon Spengler: I collect spores, molds, and fungus.
Dr Peter Venkman: Egon, this reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole through your head. Remember that? Dr Egon Spengler: That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me.
Dr Ray Stantz: Well, this is great. If the ionization-rate is constant for all ectoplasmic entities, we can really bust some heads... in a spiritual sense of course.
Dean Yeager: This university will no longer continue any funding of any kind for your group's activities. Dr Peter Venkman: But the kids love us.
Dr Ray Stantz: Where do these stairs go? Dr Peter Venkman: They go up.
(Dana has described seeing a terror dog in her refrigerator) Dr Peter Venkman: Generally you don't see that kind of behavior in a major appliance.
Dana Barrett: That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there. Dr Peter Venkman: What a crime.
(Persuading the mayor to let them stop a supernatural upheaval) Dr Peter Venkman: If we're wrong, we go to jail - peacefully, quietly. We'll enjoy it. But if I'm right, and we can stop this thing, Lenny, you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters.
Dr Ray Stantz: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here. Walter Peck: They caused an explosion! Mayor: Is this true? Dr Peter Venkman: Yes it's true. (pause) This man has no dick. Walter Peck: Jeez! (Charges at Venkman) Mayor: Break it up! Hey, break this up! Break it up! Walter Peck: All right, all right, all right! Dr Peter Venkman: Well that's what I heard!
Janine Melnitz: Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis? Winston Zeddemore: Ah, if there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say.
(Dana is possessed by The Gatekeeper) Dana Barrett: Do you want this body? Dr Peter Venkman: Is this a trick question?
Winston Zeddemore: Do you believe in God? Dr Ray Stantz: Never met him.
Janine Melnitz: Do you want some coffee, Mr Tulley? Louis: (to Egon) Do I? Dr Egon Spengler: Yes, have some. Louis: (to Janine) Yes, have some.
Walter Peck: I'm Walter Peck, from the Environmental Protection. (Venkman shakes hands with Peck and still has ectoplasm on his hands) Agency, the third district. Dr Peter Venkman: (Peck is wiping the ectoplasm on his jacket) Great, how's it going down there? Walter Peck: Are you Peter Venkman? Dr Peter Venkman: Yes, I'm *Doctor* Venkman! Walter Peck: Exactly what are you a doctor of, Mr Venkman? Dr Peter Venkman: Well, I have a PhD in parapsychology and psychology. Walter Peck: And now, you catch ghosts? Dr Peter Venkman: Yeah, you could say that. Walter Peck: And how many ghosts have you caught, Mr Venkman? Dr Peter Venkman: I'm not at liberty to say. Walter Peck: And where do you put these ghosts, once you catch them? Dr Peter Venkman: Into a storage facility. Walter Peck: And would this storage facility be located on these premises? Dr Peter Venkman: Yes. Walter Peck: And may I see this storage facility? Dr Peter Venkman: No. Walter Peck: And why not, Mr Venkman? Dr Peter Venkman: Because you did not use the magic word. Walter Peck: What is the magic word, Mr Venkman? Dr Peter Venkman: (looking surprised) Please! Walter Peck: May I *please* see the storage facility, Mr Venkman? Dr Peter Venkman: Why do you want to see the storage facility? Walter Peck: Because I'm curious. I wanna know more about what you do here! Frankly, I've heard alot of wild stories in the media and we want to assess any possibility of dangerous and possibly hazardous waste chemicals in your basement. (Peck is angered) Now you either *show me* what is down there, or I come back with a court order. Dr Peter Venkman: (Venkman snaps back) You go get a court order, and I'll sue your funny ass for wrongful prosecution. Walter Peck: You can have it your way, Mr Venkman.
(Egon is running tests on Louis, who has been possessed by Gozer and is now the Keymaster) Dr Egon Spengler: Vinz, you said before you were waiting for a sign. What sign are you waiting for? Louis: Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!
Dr Peter Venkman: NOBODY steps on a church in my town.
Dr Ray Stantz: Gozer the Gozerian... good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension. Dr Peter Venkman: (Sarcastically) That oughta do it. Thanks very much, Ray.
(In a TV commercial) Dr Ray Stantz: Are you troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night? Dr Egon Spengler: Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic? Dr Peter Venkman: Have you or your family ever seen a spook, spectre or ghost? Dr Ray Stantz: If the answer is "yes," then don't wait another minute. Pick up the phone and call the professionals... Dr Ray Stantz, Dr Egon Spengler, Dr Peter Venkman: Ghostbusters. Dr Ray Stantz: Our courteous and efficient staff is on call 24 hours a day to serve all your supernatural elimination needs. Dr Ray Stantz, Dr Egon Spengler, Dr Peter Venkman: We're ready to believe you.
Winston Zeddemore: I'm Winston Zeddmore, Your Honor. I've only been with the company for a couple of weeks, but these things are real. Since I joined these men, I've seen shit that'll turn you white.
Dr Peter Venkman: All right, this chick is TOAST. Okay sticks? Dr Ray Stantz, Dr Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: PULLED 'EM. Dr Peter Venkman: Heat 'em up. Dr Ray Stantz, Dr Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: SMOKIN'. Dr Peter Venkman: Bang 'em hard. Dr Ray Stantz, Dr Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: READY. Dr Peter Venkman: Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown.
Dr Egon Spengler: I'm worried, Ray. All my readings point to something big on the horizon. Winston Zeddemore: What do you mean, big? Dr Egon Spengler: Well, let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning's reading, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds. Winston Zeddemore: That's a big Twinkie.
Dr Ray Stantz: Personally, I liked the university. They gave us money and facilities, we didn't have to produce anything! You've never been out of college! You don't know what it's like out there! I've *worked* in the private sector. They expect *results*.
Dr Peter Venkman: Janine, someone with your qualifications would have no trouble finding a top-flight job in either the food service or housekeeping industries.
Janine Melnitz: I've quit better jobs than this. (answers phone) Ghostbusters, what do you want?
(Janine opens the front door and sees a policeman) Janine Melnitz: Dropping off or picking up?
Dr Peter Venkman: Ray, pretend for a moment that I don't know anything about metallurgy, engineering, or physics, and just tell me what the hell is going on. Dr Ray Stantz: You never studied.
(after Venkman's close encounter with a ghost) Dr Peter Venkman: He slimed me. Dr Ray Stantz: That's great. Actual physical contact. Can you move? (over walkie-talkie) Dr Egon Spengler: Ray, Ray, come in please. Dr Peter Venkman: I feel so funky.
(a giant marshmallow man crashes through the streets of New York) Dr Peter Venkman: Well, there's something you don't see every day.
Janine Melnitz: I think it's great that you're looking after that man. You're a real humanitarian. Dr Egon Spengler: I don't think he's human.
Dr Ray Stantz: Are you okay? Louis: Who are you guys? Dr Ray Stantz: We're the Ghostbusters. Louis: Who does your taxes? Dr Ray Stantz: You know, Mr Tully, you are a most fortunate individual. Louis: I know! Dr Ray Stantz: You have been a participant in the biggest interdimensional cross rip since the Tunguska blast of 1909! Louis: Felt great. Dr Egon Spengler: We'd like to get a sample of your brain tissue. Louis: Okay.
Dr Peter Venkman: Maybe now you'll never slime a guy with a positron collider, huh?
(the Ghostbusters HQ blows up) Louis: It is time. This is the sign. Janine Melnitz: It's a sign all right - "Going out of business".
Woman at Party: (coming up to Louis during party) Do you have any Excedrin or extra-strength Tylenol? Louis: (opening cabinet) Gee, I think all I got is acetylsalicylic acid, generic. See, I can get six hundred tablets of that for the same price as three hundred of a name brand. That makes good financial sense, good advice... (takes platter back into living room) Louis: Hey, this is real smoked salmon from Nova Scotia, Canada, $24.95 a pound! It only cost me $14.12 after tax, though. (walks up to a hapless guest, speaking confidentially) Louis: I'm givin' this whole thing as a promotional expense, that's why I invited clients instead of friends. You havin' a good time, Mark? (heads across the room, greeting other guests) Louis: How you doing? Why don't you have some of the brie, it's at room temperature! (to the Tall Woman) Louis: You think it's too warm in here for the brie? Tall Woman at Party: (standing) Louis, I'm going home. Louis: Aw, don't leave yet. Well, listen, maybe if we start dancing other people will join in! Tall Woman at Party: (pauses) Okay! (Louis and the Tall Woman begin disco dancing. Suddenly the doorbell rings) Louis: Oh, don't move, I just gotta get the door. (opens door, greeting guests) Louis: Ted! Annette! I'm glad you could come, how you doin', give me your coats. Everybody, this is Ted and Annette Fleming! Ted has a small carpet cleaning business in receivership; Annette's drawing a salary from a deferred bonus from two years ago! They got fifteen thousand left on the house at eight percent. (throws the guests' coats in the closet, oblivious to the Terror Dog hiding there) Louis: So they're okay! So, does anybody wanna play Parcheesi? (the Terror Dog growls from inside the bedroom) Louis: Okay, who brought the dog?
Dana Barrett: (possessed by Zuul) (to Peter) Take me now, subcreature.
Dr Peter Venkman: (hands Egon a petri dish filled with ectoplasmic residue) Egon, your mucus.
Dr Peter Venkman: As a friend, I have to tell ya you've finally gone around the bend on this ghost business. You guys have been running your ass off, meetin' and greetin' every schizo in the five boroughs who says he has a paranormal experience. What have you seen? Dr Ray Stantz: Of course you forget, Peter. I was present at an undersea, unexplained mass sponge migration. Dr Peter Venkman: Ray, the sponges migrated about a foot-and-a-half.
Dr Ray Stantz: Your girlfriend lives in the corner penthouse... of Spook Central. Dr Peter Venkman: She's not my girlfriend. I find her interesting because she's a client and because she sleeps above her covers... *four feet* above her covers. She barks, she drools, she claws! Dr Egon Spengler: Not the girl, Peter. The building.
(after nearly being crushed by a falling bookcase) Dr Peter Venkman: This happen to you before? (Ray shakes his head) Dr Peter Venkman: Huh. First time? (Ray nods)
Dr Peter Venkman: I want to talk to Dana. Dana Barrett: (in demon voice) There is no "Dana" only Zuul. Dr Peter Venkman: What a lovely singing voice you must have.
Walter Peck: Hold it! I want this man arrested! Captain, these men are in criminal violation of the Environmental Protection Act! And this explosion is a direct result of it! Dr Egon Spengler: YOUR MOTHER!
Dr Peter Venkman: I'm gonna take back some of the things I said about you Egon. (pulls out candy bar) You... You've earned it
Dr Peter Venkman: To our first costumer. Dr Ray Stantz: To our *first* and *only* costumer. Dr Peter Venkman: I'm gonna need to draw some petty cash. I should take her out to dinner. We don't wanna lose her. Dr Ray Stantz: Uhhh... this magnificent feast here represents the *last* of the petty cash. Dr Peter Venkman: Slow down. Chew your food.
(Louis is being chased by a demon dog) Louis: (frightened) I'm going bring this up with the Tenant's Association. You're not supposed to have pets in the building.
(Dana is possessed) Dr Peter Venkman: I make it a rule never to get involved with possessed people. (Dana starts passionately making out with him) Dr Peter Venkman: Actually, it's more of a guideline than a rule...
Male Student: What are you trying to prove here anyway? Dr Peter Venkman: I'm studying the effects of negative reinforcement on E.S.P. ability Male Student: The effect? I'll tell you what the effect is, it's pissing me off!
Dr Ray Stantz: I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never ever possibly destroy us. Mr Stay Puft! Dr Peter Venkman: Nice thinkin', Ray.
Dr Peter Venkman: (picking up his radio and speaking slowly) Come in, Ray. Dr Ray Stantz: (excited) Venkman? I saw it, I saw it, I saw it. Dr Peter Venkman: (slowly, calmly) It's right here, Ray. It's... looking at me. Dr Ray Stantz: He's an ugly little spud, isn't he? Dr Peter Venkman: (quickly) I think he can hear you, Ray.
Dr Peter Venkman: How's the grid holding up? Dr Egon Spengler: Not good. Winston Zeddemore: Tell him about *the Twinkie*. Dr Peter Venkman: What about *the Twinkie*?
Dana Barrett: (as the gate keeper) I want you inside me. Dr Peter Venkman: It sounds like you've got at least two or three people in there already.
Dr Ray Stantz: Every ancient religion has its own myth about the end of the world. Winston Zeddemore: Myth? Ray, has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason we've been so busy lately is because the dead *have* been rising from the grave? (long pause) Dr Ray Stantz: (Turns on radio) How 'bout a little music?
(Dana is possessed) Dr Peter Venkman: So, what are we doing today, Zuul? Dana Barrett: We must prepare for the coming of Gozer. Dr Peter Venkman: Gozer? Dana Barrett: The Destructor. (long pause) Dr Peter Venkman: Are we still going out?
Dr Peter Venkman: I'll take Miss Barret back to her apartment and check her out. (Dana Barret looks up confused) Dr Peter Venkman: I'll go check out Miss Barret's apartment. OK?
(the Ghostbusters are climbing the stairs to the top of Dana's apartment building) Dr Peter Venkman: Where are we? Dr Ray Stantz: I think we're in the teens somewhere. Dr Peter Venkman: When we get to twenty, tell me. I'm gonna throw up.
Dr Peter Venkman: You're gonna endanger us. You're gonna endanger our client. The nice woman who paid us in advance, before she became a dog.
(last lines) Winston Zeddemore: I love this town!
Louis: Boy, the superintendent is going to be pissed.
(in front of the library ghost, their first ghost sighting) Dr Peter Venkman: So... what do we do? (Egon and Ray stare at each other in silence. Peter grabs Ray's ear) Dr Peter Venkman: Would come over here please? That's it, c'mere Francine. What do we do? (Egon pulls out a calculator and starts punching in numbers. Peter slaps the machine out of Egon's hand) Dr Peter Venkman: STOP THAT!
Dr Peter Venkman: I've always wanted to try this. (yanks a tablecloth off of a table) Dr Peter Venkman: (triumphantly) And the flowers are still standing.
(alternate wording from cable TV version) Dr Ray Stantz: Everything was fine until the grid was shut down by wally wick here. Walter Peck: They caused an explosion! Mayor: (to Venkman) Is this true? Dr Peter Venkman: Yes sir, it's true. This man is some kind of rodent, I don't know which.
Dean Yeager: Your theories are the worst kind of popular tripe, your methods are sloppy, and your conclusions are highly questionable. You are a poor scientist, Dr Venkman!
Dr Peter Venkman: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Nice shootin', Tex!
(Dana has been possessed by a demon dog) Dr Peter Venkman: I think we can get her a guest shot on "Wild Kingdom." I just whacked her up with about 300 cc's of Thorazaine... she's gonna take a little nap now.
Walter Peck: Shut these off. Shut these all off!
(Ray and Peter have been fired) Dr Ray Stantz: This is a major disgrace. Forget MIT or Stanford now. They wouldn't touch us with a 10-meter cattle prod. Dr Peter Venkman: You're always so concerned about your reputation. Einstein did his best stuff when he was working as a patent clerk! Dr Ray Stantz: Do you know how much a patent clerk earns? Dr Peter Venkman: No!
(Venkman arrives at 55 Central Park West, a few minutes after Louis was chased out by a terror dog) Dr Peter Venkman: (to a policeman) What happened? Policeman at Apartment: Some moron brought a cougar to a party and it went berserk.
(as Dana puts strings on her cello, Ray is being interviewed by Joe Frankin on television) Joe Franklin: As they say in T.V., I'm sure there's one big question on everybody's mind, and I imagine you are the man to answer that. How is Elvis, and have you seen him lately?
Gozer: The Choice is made! Dr Peter Venkman: Whoa! Ho! Ho! Whoa-oa! Gozer: The Traveller has come! Dr Peter Venkman: Nobody choosed anything! (turns to Egon) Did YOU choose anything? Dr Egon Spengler: No. Dr Peter Venkman: (to Winston) Did YOU? Winston Zeddemore: My mind is totally blank. Dr Peter Venkman: I didn't choose anything. (long pause, Peter, Egon and Winston all look at Ray) Dr Ray Stantz: I couldn't help it. It just popped IN there. Dr Peter Venkman: (angrily) What? What just popped in there? Dr Ray Stantz: I... I... I tried to think... Dr Egon Spengler: LOOK! (they all look over one side of the roof) Dr Ray Stantz: No! It CAN'T be! Dr Peter Venkman: What is it? Dr Ray Stantz: It CAN'T be! Dr Peter Venkman: What did you do, Ray? Winston Zeddemore: Oh, shit! (they all see a giant cubic white head topped with a sailor hat, Peter looks at Ray) Dr Ray Stantz: (somberly) It's the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
Dr Peter Venkman: (Venkman is looking at the temporary sign on Ghostbusters HQ while a worker is hanging it up) You don't think it's too subtle, Marty, you don't think people are going to drive down and not see the sign? Dr Peter Venkman: (Venkman hears a siren approaching and a old, grey station wagon pulls up in the driveway) (shouts) Whoa! Whoa! You can't park right here! (looks and sees Stantz in the driver's seat) Dr Ray Stantz: (Ray gets out) Everybody can relax, I found the car. Needs some suspension work and shocks. Brakes, brake pads, lining, steering box, transmission, rear-end. Dr Peter Venkman: How much? Dr Ray Stantz: Only $4800. (Venkman looks shocked) Also new rings, mufflers, a little wiring.
Dr Peter Venkman: Janine, any calls? Janine Melnitz: No. Dr Peter Venkman: Any messages? Janine Melnitz: No. Dr Peter Venkman: Any customers? Janine Melnitz: No, Dr Venkman. Dr Peter Venkman: Type something will you, we're paying for this stuff! Dr Peter Venkman: (Venkman is walking into his office) And don't stare at me, you got the bug-eyes. Dr Peter Venkman: Janine, sorry about the bug-eyes thing. I'll be in my office.