Gary the Rat
2003
Gary 'The Rat' Andrews: I'm not looking for Mrs Right. I'm looking for Mrs Right-Friggin'-Now!
Gary the Rat: Yes, mother. I know the respirator is old, but you're not going to need it much longer. We'll talk soon.
Gary the Rat: No, mother, I can't come and see you tonight. Well, accidental amputations happen all the time. Deal with it.
(Gary is welcomed by a woman who doesn't run in fear of him just because he's a giant rat. She's sounds beautiful - but her face is deformed) Gary the Rat: I... whoa! Whoa! WHOA! What happened, were you in a fire?
Therapist: So what seems to be the problem? Gary: Well, for starters, I'm a six-foot rat. Therapist: You're not happy with your height. That's a good start.
Gary: Long live deep pockets.
Gary: I've got to stop eating white trash.
Gary 'The Rat' Andrews: I've got to stop eating white trash.
Gary 'The Rat' Andrews: Yes, mother. A lot of people go through life with only one lung. I'm sure it's fine for you to smoke. Go ahead, light up!
Gary 'The Rat' Andrews: I've got to stop mixing medications.
Gary 'The Rat' Andrews: Betty, you're going to kill him! Let me help!
Gary 'The Rat' Andrews: Are you sure you're a doctor? Therapist: The Internet University of Science Stuff seems to think so. Gary 'The Rat' Andrews: I'm outta here. Therapist: Please pay the girl outside in small bills.
Gary 'The Rat' Andrews: I look forward to the bloodbath tomorrow! Caroline Swanson: So do I! I'm going to rip your heart out! Gary 'The Rat' Andrews: You'll have to find it first!
Priest: ... we are gathered here today to join this woman-slash-thing with gills, and this rat-slash-attorney in holy matrimony...
Harrison: Does she have any kids? Gary: Yes. Harrison: How Many? Gary: Eight Harrison: Jimminy Christmas, someone should tell her that it's a vagina not a clown car.
Walter: Frank, it's come to my attention that you have leprosy. Frank: That's a lie. (accidently flings his nose into Walter's glass of water) Walter: Leprosy is an infectious bacterial disease man. That's not the type of lifestyle we can support here...
(Gary gets a delivery of horrible stinking cheese at the office) Co-worker: Sniff, sniff - Holy Christ Andrews, what's that smell ? you're stinking up the whole building Gary: That'd be the remnants of your 40 dollar girlfriend. You probably could catch her at the elevator if you hurry.