Gagtag
1994
Bob Monkhouse: What are we meant to link? Jonathan Ross: You're meant to link the three clips, Bob. I thought I made that perfectly clear. Bob Monkhouse: Uhm uhm uhm. It's... it's to close to a full moon for me.
Jonathan Ross: Friends, Romans, Countrymen (buzzer) Tony? Tony Hawks: Can you keep the noise down a bit? I'm trying to sleep.
Jonathan Ross: Don't put your daughter on the stage, Mrs Worthington (buzzer) Tony? Tony Hawks: And the same goes for you, Mrs Minogue. (A cheer is heard from the audience) Frank Skinner: That is so unfair!
Bob Monkhouse: Another memory, a blast from the past. Mary had a little lamb, the doctors all cried oh, but when Old McDonald had a farm, Eh I, Eh I, Oh!
Jonathan Ross: Ray, may I say how good it is to see you making a rare solo apperance. Ray Allen: Yes, thank you very much. It's nice to have some hands free! Lord Charles: Get on with it, you silly arse!
(Frank has been asked to make up an advert for Euro Disney) Frank Skinner: M I C, K E Y, M O U S E. Yes, kids, this year Mickey Mouse will be at Euro Disney. And Donald Duck. And Goofy. No one else, really.
(Bob was asked to advertise Sellefield) Bob Monkhouse: We spoke to a long term employee at Sellafield. He was radiant.
Jonathan Ross: Never work with animals or children (buzzer) Jonathan Ross: Greg? Greg Proops: Unless you know how to cook them!
Jonathan Ross: Sticks and stones may break my bones (bell) Jonathan Ross: Frank? Frank Skinner: Sticks and stones may break my bones, so I won't be going to Millwall this season!
Bob Monkhouse: Did you know John Wayne Bobbit was in the army? He was separated from his unit. Sorry.
Jonathan Ross: Mary had a little lamb (bell) Eddie Large: Oh, this is my level. Mary had a little lamb, and the midwife fainted.
Bob Monkhouse: I wouldn't say my parents hated me, but my father tipped the vicar a fiver to hold me under at the christening.
Bob Monkhouse: I WOULD say my parents hated me, because my mother never wanted to have me. When I was born she was thirty-eight weeks pregnant, she kept putting it off, putting it off.
Frank Skinner: I wouldn't say my neighbourhood's rough, but the pub has got a space marked on the car park for ambulances.
Eddie Large: I wouldn't say my neighbourhood's rough, but the milk float has got a rear gunner.
(time-up buzzer sounds) Frank Skinner: We didn't... we didn't do the classic... The Post Office got held up by a man with a bitten off shotgun.
Bob Monkhouse: The local paper has a column for forthcoming deaths. How about that?
Jonathan Ross: Why do birds suddenly appear... Ted Rogers: Whenever the wife's with me? Jonathan Ross: Nice to hear the '70s meaning of birds on the show.