Funeral in Berlin
1966
Colonel Stok: I wish to defect, but there are conditions. Harry Palmer: What do you want? Colonel Stok: I want colonel's pay for life. Harry Palmer: Don't we all. Colonel Stok: A house in the country. Harry Palmer: Oh, how many bedrooms? Colonel Stok: Bedrooms do not matter. But I must have a big garden. I am a peasant at heart, and I want to grow roses in my old age. Harry Palmer: In England, roses are out - weeds are in. Is that all? Colonel Stok: That is all. I want comfort and security. Harry Palmer: You've got all that in Russia now. Colonel Stok: Aah, in Russia there is no place for an old Bolshevik. In my job I have made too many enemies. Harry Palmer: Well, what about your family? Colonel Stok: My wife died in a German air raid in 1941; my only son hasn't written to me in three years. What would you do in my position? Harry Palmer: I'd stop telling lies, for a start. You have no son, and your wife is in Kiev with your daughter Katya. I know everything about you, Colonel Stok... from the size of your refrigerator to the cubic capacity of your mistress.
Colonel Stok: Do you play chess? Harry Palmer: Yes, but I prefer a game with a better chance of cheating.
(On his proposed defection) Colonel Stok: And for you it is a propaganda victory - my name is worth a headline. Harry Palmer: We get plenty of Russians. It's a pity you're not Chinese.
Harry Palmer: She picked me up last night, and - with my irrestible charm - I want to know why, and who she's working for.
Harry Palmer: Oh, by the way, is old Klaus Burger still alive? Police officer: The forger? Harry Palmer: Yeah, the forger. Police officer: I'd like to run you out of Berlin, Palmer! You and MI5 and the Deuxième Bureau and the CIA and the rest of them. Then I can do my job instead of providing work for every forger, confidence man, thief, and murderer in this town! Harry Palmer: Oh, I agree, I agree, I agree. But... is old man Klaus still alive?
Colonel Stok: If there is a mistake, the KRAPOs will be shooting at me. Harry Palmer: That'll be nice: you'll find out what it's like to be an East German. Colonel Stok: You are insolent! Do you think this job, this loathsome Wall, is all I've done for Communism? Does Smolensk mean anything to you, or Stalingrad? (chuckles) I look at your stupid face and I think you mean what you say. I like you, you're good at your job. You need only one thing. Harry Palmer: What's that? Colonel Stok: A reason for doing it. Harry Palmer: I get paid. Colonel Stok: £30 a week? Is it worth it - to be a tool of the generals? A tool for making trouble? Trouble makes arms, arms make money... Harry Palmer: When you get to England, we'll give you a soapbox. You sure you want to defect tomorrow? Colonel Stok: I told you, I'm still a good Communist. When a man leaves his wife, he remembers his wedding night. Communism was the love of my youth, and I've been faithful... until now. I was with Antomikov Sanko at the storming of the Winter Palace in 1917. Do you know what that means in Russia? Harry Palmer: Yes, I think so. It means you're an expendable hero.
(after a plan goes wrong) Harry Palmer: Let's get out of here. I've got some fiction to write.
Harry Palmer: I think that Vulkan is connected with this man Broum. Ross: Brilliant, Palmer. Vulkan *is* this man Paul Louis Broum.
Harry Palmer: Do you mean that Her Majesty's government employs ex-Nazis, sir? Ross: (referring to Palmer himself) And thieves, Palmer.
Ross: Well, you've bungled the rest of it. Get rid of him. Harry Palmer: Pardon? Ross: *Kill* him. Harry Palmer: I'm not killing anybody in cold blood. Ross: Then provoke him, if that's going to satisfy your scruples.
Colonel Stok: What's the matter, you in trouble? Ross won't shoot you for failing once - it's not democratic!
Hallam: Show them to any Swiss banker, he'll laugh in your face. Beautiful forgeries... but on the wrong paper.
Waiter: Bitte, mein Herr? Harry Palmer: No, Löwenbrau, please.