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Movie Quotes - 90

Film dialogue

Chiesa, La

1989

Bridal Model: Why isn't anybody doing anything to get me out of here?

Hermann, the Sacristan: (to Lottie) Filthy liar! Here we'll wash your mouth out with soap, here! Lottie's Mother: Don't make me wait for those onions Hermann

Father Gus: (after a huge fish like demon is attacking the male model) MY GOD! What's going on here?

Joanna: Where the fuck have you been? I've been looking all over for you. Bruno: Joanna we have to get out of here. Joanna: Well what are we waiting for, huh?

Children of a Lesser God

1986

James Leeds: You are the most mysterious, beautiful, angry person I have ever met... I am falling in l--- Sarah. Sarah! I am falling into the pool with you!

James Leeds: Do you think there's someplace where we can meet that's not in silence and not in sound?

(Translating Sarah's sign language.) James Leeds: Sex was always something I could do as well as hearing girls. Better."

Children of the Corn 666: Isaac's Return

1999 (V)

Gabriel: You oughta know better, those things will kill you. Dr Michaels: Why do you think I do them?

Dr Michaels: Well if it isn't the medical miracle! Isaac: It was Hannah's touch! Dr Michaels: You leave that girl alone! Isaac: You didn't, You took her from her mother! Dr Michaels: I took her from this town, I was trying to give her a chance! You're sick! Isaac: Are you ready to pay for you're actions? Dr Michaels: I've been paying for them all my life! It's you're soul that's gonna burn in hell! Isaac: I don't have a soul!

Children of the Night

1991

Jessica's Mother: This is blasphemous literature! I'd rather Jessica be illiterate than to have her reading about defiant, perverse, Godless souls!

Frank Aldin: Goddamn me to hell, I slept with my brother's wife! And not just once, but time and time again!

Karen Thompson: Feeling regretful, Frank? Well, I guess that's pretty standard in your line of work. I'll never apologize for the way I am. I like it. If I want someone's blood I'll take it. And I'm not ashamed of what I am and what I want and how I want it, and I want you. My soul, my flesh craves you.

Gus: My client is certainly entitled for compensation for pain and suffering. Doc Fisher: Pain and suffering? The woman is dead.

Lucy: She's not crazy, she's a vampire!

Children of the Stones

1977

Hendrick: Anger of fire, fire of speech. Breath of knowledge, render us free from harm. Return to us the innocence that once we knew. Complete us the Circle! Make us at one with nature and the elements... It is time!

Hendrick: Women... Delightful creatures, but punctuality is not among their virtues.

Link: Master! They are still impure! The circle is broken! Your protection... is gone!

Children of the Wind

1997

Narrator: Perhaps Eli Khamarov captured it best when he wrote: A sacred privilege is flight. Those who share in it have become guardians of the earth: Have seen what the gods have seen. Flight reminds us of our fragile nature And the extent of our temporary presence. It is a sacred thing, A reminder of where we were not meant to be, A reminder of where we are, Easily consumed, Our waxen wings lie within the perilous grasp Of our distracted star.

Chjik ysai Macross

1982

Max Jenius: Wonderful. Bust, 83 cm. Will expand when unwrapped.

Misa Hayase: Hikaru, go away! Don't try to rescue me! It's too dangerous! Hikaru Ichij: When have I ever obeyed orders like that?

(Shammy has caught Capt Global trying to light his pipe) Shammy Milliome: Captain, there's no smoking on the bridge! Bruno J. Global: (quickly puts his match away) Oh, of course not, Shammy. I was just holding it.

A Chorus of Disapproval

1988

Bridget Baines: (facing a pub full of rowdy drunks) My father says would you please stop making that bloody racket! Only he didn't say please like I did.

Dafydd Ap Llewellyn: Ian's just told me. About you and Hannah. You bastard. I just want you to know I think you're a total and utter bastard and that one of these days I hope you'll get what's coming to you. (pause) Dafydd Ap Llewellyn: Having said that, best of luck with the show tonight and I hope it goes really well for you.

A Christmas Without Snow

1980 (TV)

Ephraim Adams: Mrs Burns is right, of course; you are amateurs, unlike certain pseudo-professionals like myself who insist on slave wages. Your voluntary and steadfast attendance at these rehearsals fully qualifies you for any definition of the word "amateur". What Mrs Burns and many others are wrong about is the meaning of the word, which has to do with motivation, not quality. Remember "amo, amat, amas", the Latin verb "to love". The meaning of "amateur" is "he or she who does a thing for the love of it". There is no higher reason for singing than the love of doing it. In that respect, you do qualify as amateurs. And I salute you for it.

Chuck Berry Hail! Hail! Rock 'n' Roll

1987

Chuck Berry: (showing off his Cadillacs) I love the tinted windows, gives me a good place to hide, when it's time to hide.

Chuck Berry: Don't touch my amp!

Bo Diddley: It became seperated. Suddenly, what they did was rock and roll and what we did was rhythm and blues.

Roy Orbison: Well, Chuck Berry is the first singer-songwriter I know of.

Jerry Lee Lewis: (explaining payola) See, everybody wants to get paid. Everybody wants the money.

Keith Richards: We spent 12 days rehearsing, this goes here, this goes there, go onstage and boom out the window. Wing it!

Little Richard: But as I got older, I got bolder. And I started rubbin' shoulders.

C.H.U.D.

1984

Mrs Monroe: Cooper, you son of a bitch. I'm in jail. I only get one phone call. You think I wanna waste it talking to some goddamn fucking machine?

Captain Bosch: Are you kidding? Your guy's got a camera. Mine's got a flamethrower.

A.J. 'The Reverend' Shepherd: You Cooper? George Cooper: Yeah. A.J. 'The Reverend' Shepherd: You all right? George Cooper: Who are you? A.J. 'The Reverend' Shepherd: I run the soup kitchen. George Cooper: On Kenmann. A.J. 'The Reverend' Shepherd: Right... right. This is crazy. C'mon. George Cooper: Thank God they deliver.

Chutney Popcorn

1999

Mitch: Sarita, the probabilty of you getting on a motorcycle is the same probability of Shiva having a penis. Sarita: Shiva does have a penis. Shiva's a man. Mitch: No he's not. Everyone knows all Hindu Gods are genderless. Sarita (calling up her mother) : Hi Mom. Shiva's a man, right?... And that would imply that He has a penis, right?... (To Mitch) Yes!

Ciao Manhattan

1972

Mummy: You're supposed to be at the doctor's and here you are screwing!

(On the phone with an operator.) Susan: I was just speaking to my party before you so rudely interrupted me... for God's sake! Operator: You cannot speak to me in that tone of voice. I am a high school graduate. Susan: (Slams down the phone) Oh those damn operators are so stupid.

Susan: Where the fuck's my lighter? My brother Wesley gave it to me... just before he committed suicide. It's funny. He's the only one who had no sexual interest in me. All my other brothers did.

The Duchess: My life has always been a double-strand of pearls around my neck.

Cit des enfants perdus, La

1995

Clone: C'est moi l'original! C'est moi!

Miette: What are you doing? One: Heater.

(after Mlle. Bismuth has been harpooned) Clone: Does it hurt? Mlle. Bismuth: Yes, I'm allergic to steel.

Krank: Quiet! You vegetable!

One: Miette too little. Miette: Not as little as all that.

Miette: When you're born in the gutter you end up in the port.

City Limits

1985

Mick: You got ideas, Lee? Lee: Sure. I got lots of ideas. Mick: Good. Cause I'm all out.

Lee: I'm going to be a Clipper.

(upon seeing that his challenger in a duel is a woman) Lee: This ain't fair. Mick: You're right. It ain't.

Whitey: Guns are for scro's, Ray. Besides, it's a waste of good beer.

City of Joy

1992

Hasari Pal: All that is not given is lost.

Hasari Pal: If the journey is not what you expected, do not be surprised.

Hasari Pal: Godfather has more eyes than a pineapple!

Hasari Pal: The gods have not made it easy to be a human being. Max Lowe: No they haven't. But I guess that's why it feels so goddamn wonderful to beat the odds.

CKY2K

2000 (V)

(Brandon DiCamillo: Congratulations!

Bam Margera: Pay nine bucks a day, and you can do whatever the hell you want with a rental car.

Bam Margera: Oh, man, Phil thought I was in deep shit after I smashed the windshield driving through a soccer goal, but the next day when it was time to take the rental car back, Rake Yohn thought it would be funny to set the AM radio on fire. Well, the whole car blew the fuck up forty seconds from my house, and the only thing I had to pay was the nine bucks for the extra insurance.

Guy with car: after bam kicks a football into his car) It's a brand new car! Bam Margera: It's a '96!

Jennifer Rivell: Throw the ball, fuck!

Clan des Siciliens, Le

1969

Vittorio Manalese: Well, personally, I trust the engineer. He sounds okay to me. This is a professional job. (Turns and looks at Roget Sarte) You're the one I don't trust! Roget: Me? Vittorio: Yeah, you! All your brains are below your belt! You almost got us all in cold storage last night playing games in a whorehouse!

Rovel: I was sound asleep, and they burst into my room and turned everything upside down!

Clash by Night

1952

Jerry D'Amato: Get something for that head ache! Mae Doyle D'Amato: Yeah, a new head.

Jerry D'Amato: Earl, he's one of the smartest men I know. He's in the movie business. Mae Doyle D'Amato: An actor? Jerry D'Amato: No, but I bet Earl could be if he wanted to. He works at the Bijou theatre, in the projection booth. Mae Doyle D'Amato: That's your idea of being in the movie business? Jerry D'Amato: Running movies, what other business would you call it?

Mae Doyle D'Amato: Home is where you come to, when you run out of places.

Class of 1999 II: The Substitute

1994

(after sitting down with John to lunch, Jenna notices the huge amounts of food on his tray) Jenna McKensie: I tell ya... if I ate that much food, I'd be... John Bolen: I convert food to fuel rapidly. It's almost nuclear. Jenna McKensie: (puzzled) Uh... yeah. Um... listen you've probably already heard about the rumors of me testifying going around the school. You know maybe everyone is right about me not testifying. John Bolen: No, they're not. If you allow a student to gain control of the situation, the result is anarchy. Anyone who's telling you not to testify is wrong.

Clean and Sober

1988

Darryl: Thank you. And thanks for my chip. And thanks for not smoking.

Darryl: What is it with you guys and food? Richard: Addicts are compulsive.

Craig: The best way to break old habits is to make new ones.

Daryl: That was a ninety thousand dollar phone call, man. Ninety thousand dollars! 90 grand, man. That's the Stock Market, babe, and it doesn't give a fuck if I'm in a hospital or not! Hey, the American Stock Market really doesn't care if some asshole who makes three hundred dollars a weeks says I can't use the fuckin' phone. I'm close, right Craig. Like three-ten, maybe three-fifteen. That's about it, isn't it Craigy. Yeah, oh boy, big three-oh-seven a week. Boy, you gotta allocate that motherfucker, don'tcha. What's that, a little Lean Cuisine, maybe some pork and beans - Hey, why don'tcha get yourself another pair of those plastic shoes!! Fine, you want me outta here - I'm fuckin' outta here. I'm gone, motherfucker - look at this back!

Cleopatra Jones

1973

Doodlebug: See you around, Super Honkie!

Doodlebug: Hair's like a woman. You treat it good and it treats you good. Ain't that right honey? You hear what I'm saying? Yeah, you got to hold it, caress it, and love it. And if your hair gets out of line you take a scissor and say, "Hair I'm going to cut you."

Snake: Shit! What's wrong with you woman? Why can't you just open a door like a normal person?

Clock Tower 3

2002 (VG)

Scissorwoman: Snippety snip! Time to die!

Corroder: Stupid wench! You think I'll let you interfere? Alyssa: You can't beat me! I'll destroy you! Corroder: None of your lip, girl. You've got your own destiny to accept! Alyssa: My destiny? Corroder: You must die, Alyssa!

(repeated line) Sledgehammer: Alyssa!

Corroder: That's enough playing happy families! You make me sick!

Corroder: Want to join them? I hear the acid's lovely!

Clockstoppers

2002

Kelly: May I borrow some money? Zak: "Let's see... make new car payment? Or lend money to Satan?

Zak: I didn't know you knew Karate. Franceseca: I don't. That was ballet.

Dopler: You know what I don't like? Gettin' kicked in the head.

Dopler: I need the room number for Dr Gibbs. Clerk: And you are? Dopler: (placing $100 on desk) In a hurry. (Places $200 more on desk) Clerk: I'll see what I can do.

Zak: I don't have any money. (to Dopler) Do you have any money? Dopler: You can't ask your hostage for money!

Close to You: Remembering the Carpenters

1997 (TV)

Richard Carpenter: Music, Music, Music, which became our final special only because of what ultimately happened with Karen, is what I consider the best of them all. There's no shtick in it. No canned laughter in it. No skits. It's just music, start to finish.

Petula Clark: I remember saying to her, Karen I don't know what you're doing, but you've got to stop it, you know? And finally when she left my dressing room I gave her a hug and she was so thin. And that was the last time I saw her.

Club

2001

Fletch: I fuckin' hate dance music; gets right up my arse...

Mr Smith: How's three hundred a week plus a percentage of the door on any nights other than Friday, Saturday, Monday, Wednesday or Thursday. Jimmy: ... we're shut on Sundays and Tuesdays... Mr Smith: I'll take that as a yes then.

Jamal: If I ever meet someone and they're supposed to be important, I always imagine them taking a dump... it puts things in perspective. DJs are just people; brilliant party-set or not, the man has to pooh like the rest of us. Feces is the great leveler...

Jimmy: How many times have I told you not to smoke crack in my office! Don't you know it's a fire hazard?

Clubhouse

2004

Lynne Young: What do I have to do to get through to you? Betsy Young: I don't know mom, send me an e-mail.

(Pete stands in front of a mirror to tuck in his jersey. He stares at himself for a little while until one of the baseball players comes up and says...) baseball player: This is baseball, not a fashion show.

Betsy Young: This is all your fault you underwear labeler! Peter 'Pete' Young: You know what Betsy? Why don't you get a nice, tall glass of Shut Your Mouth. Betsy Young: Why don't you grab a spoon so you can eat my...

CNNNN: Chaser Non-Stop News Network

2002

(Looking back on past broadcasts) Craig Reucassel: And of course September the 11th, unfortunately coinciding with our first Hawaiian shirt day.

Charles Firth: If we tilt Australia the water from the lakes in Australia's East will wash down to the rest of Australia, ending the drought.

"Fungry" Advertisement Narration: I'm FUNGRY!

Coil

2001

Morgan Bianco: I'm totally losing control. Jane Lecavalier: You know what I do when I feel like I'm losing control? You probably think I shoot up or snort coke or something like that. Well, I take control back. I go get it back. I go get it back from whoever's got it.

Jane Lecavalier: This prick gets off on watching you be his personal media puppet.

Morgan Bianco: Do you want to know what I'm protesting? Being a woman.

Cold Feet

1998/II

Adam: So tell me, who was your driving instructor? Stevie Wonder? Rachel: At least I had one.

Rachel: He told me that he loved me by shoving a rose up his bottom. Adam: Roses. Don't talk to me about roses - big painful, thorny roses. I'm the world's first human vase. Rachel: It was a bit wilted by the time I got it.

Rachel: Adam thinks he's George Best. Adam: Well there *are* similarities. Rachel: Yeah, you drink too much. Adam: No. I'm dating Miss World.

(when David is talking about having a party) Karen: You're the only person I know that called the police to complain about their own party.

Adam: Are you wise?

Collegiate

1936

(Miss Curtiss is standing in a doorway as portly Mack Gordon tries to get through) Mack Gordon: Miss Curtiss, one of us has to take a deep breath.

Juliet Hay: Mr Craig is engaged. The young lady he's going to marry is... Jerry Craig: Very beautiful. Juliet Hay: ... a very beautiful girl... Jerry Craig: Talented. Juliet Hay: ... talented... Jerry Craig: With a heart of gold. Juliet Hay: ... with a heart of gold. And her name is... Jerry Craig: Juliet Hay. Juliet Hay: Juliet H-? Why, that's me! Jerry Craig: Nobody else. Excuse me folks. (kisses her) Lynne Overman: Well, Scoop, what'll we do now? Scoop Oakland: Well, I guess we better learn to like little children.

Colonel Chabert, Le

1943

Le colonel Jacinthe Chabert aka Jacinthe 'the beggar': The war is a terrible thing. Delbecq: Yes, but someone has to defend the fatherland. Le colonel Jacinthe Chabert aka Jacinthe 'the beggar': Monsieur, I am an old soldier and I think! After everything that I've seen, I shall say that the word "patriotism" means nothing against the word "humanism".

Color of Night

1994

Dr Bill Capa: In the what-I-wait-for department, you're it baby.

Dr Bill Capa: If I knew it was your birthday, Hector, I would have stopped by tomorrow. Hector Martinez: Yeah, me too.

Dr Bill Capa: Does mommy know you escaped from a straight jacket?

Dr Bob Moore: Why don't we cut through this macho shit and just drop our pants and see who has the bigger dick? Then we can go home, sit down and have a nice, civilized breakfast. Dr Bill Capa: It wouldn't be civilized. Dr Bob Moore: Why not? Dr Bill Capa: Because you'd be sulking!

Colt .45

1950

Prologue: A gun, like any other source of power, is a force for either good or evil, being neither in itself, but dependent upon those who possess it.

Beth Donovan: I died a hundred times while you were in there. Steve Farrell: I nearly died... once.

Steve Farrell: The first Colt repeating pistols in this territory, Sheriff. The finest guns ever made. Here's law and order in six-finger doses. Yes, sir, easy to load and as durable as your mother-in-law.

Redrock sheriff: A pistol don't make a man. It's the gent before the gun that counts.

Steve Farrell: Chief, if you break the peace now, you'll make enemies of a lot of innocent people. Walking Bear: Dead enemies are best way to peace.

Beth Donovan: He's an animal. You should have seen him behind those guns today. I think he kills just to see men die.

Jason Brett: Pour yourself some backbone and shut up!

Columbo: Any Old Port in a Storm

1973 (TV)

Columbo: My handwriting is so bad sometimes I think I should've been a doctor.

Adrian Carsini: Titian would have gone mad trying to mix so beautiful a red. And he would have failed dismally in the attempt.

Adrian Carsini: May our enemies never be as happy as we are at this moment.

Adrian Carsini: I guess, um, freedom is purely relative.

Columbo: By Dawn's Early Light

1974 (TV)

Col Lyle C. Rumford: Geometry is logic and logic is the battlefield of adulthood.

Lt Columbo: Boys will be boys. Col Lyle C. Rumford: Boys *will* be boys, Lieutenant, but somebody's gotta turn them into men.

Col Lyle C. Rumford: This country is going to have the best damn army in the world!

Lt Columbo: You have to forgive me, it's not me, it's my mind, it's very slow, and I have to pin everything down.

Col Lyle C. Rumford: Beware of an excess of compassion, Lieutenant.

Col Lyle C. Rumford: Captain Loomis, beware of a misplaced sense of justice.

Col Lyle C. Rumford: A difference of opinion between men, it sometimes happens.

Col Lyle C. Rumford: Don't you expect me to be contrite, Lieutenant. It had to be done, and I'd do it again tomorrow.

Columbo: Grand Deceptions

1989 (TV)

General Padget: Someone promises once and doesn't deliver, well, that's a busy man. Promises twice, is not very efficient. Promises three times, I know when I'm being diddled.

Colonel Frank Brailie: The sexual life of a camel is much stranger than anyone thinks. General Padget: He lies on the bank of the Nile and tries to make love to the Sphinx. Colonel Frank Brailie: But the Sphinx is only a statue... General Padget: ... Beset by the sands of the Nile. Colonel Frank Brailie: And thus explains the camel's hump. General Padget: And the Sphinx's unscrutable smile.

Lieutenant Columbo: There's just one more thing, sir.

Columbo: Identity Crisis

1975 (TV)

Nelson Brenner: That thing about my being a double agent was only a rumor. Geronimo/A.J. Henderson: The agency doesn't deal in facts, only in rumors.

Lt Columbo: What do you have to do to win one of those? Shooting gallery attendant: Hit the ducks ten in a row. Lt Columbo: My wife would go for one of those. Shooting gallery attendant: No way, Lieutenant, you're a pro... Lt Columbo: Aw, forget about it. If I'm standing on the dock I couldn't hit the water.

Lt Columbo: Do you like to gamble, Sir? Nelson Brenner: What else is there?

Lt Columbo: Who is that behind the fat lady?

Columbo: It's All In the Game

1993 (TV)

Lt Columbo: Just one more thing!

Laura Staton: Do you have a first name I can call you by? Lt Columbo: Yeah. "Lieutenant."

Barney: How could you do something like that? Arrest a woman you cared so much for? Lt Columbo: Who said I cared for her? Barney: You did. Lt Columbo: You're stupid if you believe everything a cop tells you. I'm going bowling with my wife tonight.

Columbo: Mind Over Mayhem

1974 (TV)

Dr Marshall Cahill: Neil, be as humble as you like. Einstein was the most modest man I've ever met. Neil Cahill: Yeah, he could afford to be, he was a genius.

Lt Columbo: Oh, a think tank! I read about that in the paper. That's a place full of geniuses, isn't it? May I ask what you do here, Sir? Dr Marshall Cahill: I'm the director.

Columbo: The Bye-Bye Sky High I.Q. Murder Case

1977 (TV)

Lt Columbo: You know, sir, it's a funny thing. All my life I kept running into smart people. I don't mean smart like you or the rest of the people in this house. You know what I mean. In school, there were a lot of smarter kids. And when I first joined the force, they had some very clever people there. And I could tell right away that it wouldn't be easy to make detective as long as they were around. But I figured, if I worked harder than they did, put in more time, read the books, kept my eyes open, maybe I could make it happen. And I did. And I really love my work, sir. Oliver Brandt: I can tell you do.

Lt Columbo: Here I've been talking with the most intelligent people in the world, and I never even noticed!

Columbo: The Conspirators

1978 (TV)

Lt Columbo: There's just one more thing, sir!

Joe Devlin: Politics makes liars of us all, lieutenant.

Lt Columbo: A grand noble bird is the pelican. His beak holds more than his belly can. He swoops through the sky with an abundant supply. I'll be darned if I know how the hell he can!

Lt Columbo: There once was an old man from Lyme. He took three wives at a time. When asked why a third, he said, "One is absurd, and two, my friends, is a crime."

Comanche blanco

1968

Sheriff Logan: For someone who's trying to live like a white man, you're sure turning out to be one hell of a Comanche!

Notah: Does Kah To have something to say? Kah To: I will make a place to put him. Notah: No time. The dead will find their own place. Kah To: If he is not put to the fire, his spirit will go forever in darkness.

Johnny Moon: Why don't you get the good citizens of this town to help you out? Sheriff Logan: When trouble breaks out, they're kind of hard to find.

Come On, Get Happy: The Partridge Family Story

1999 (TV)

Tracy: If we get rid of Danny, can I pretend to play the guitar? Danny Bonaduce: My, God! Three years on the show, and it's the first time I've ever heard her speak! Shirley Jones: That's it, Danny! Go to your room!

David Cassidy: Great gig! When's recess?

David Cassidy: I have a life, and pubic hair.

Comedian Harmonists

1997

(the group has just been informed that, effective after that night's show, they are banned from performing in Germany. Roman undoes his collar, refusing to go on) Roman Cycowski: No power on Earth can force me to sing in this country again. Harry Frommermann: Roman, please. (the audience begins clapping for the group to come out on stage) Harry Frommermann: Don't you hear that? Those are our fans. At least for tonight. Do you guys understand? Our fans.

Comedy Central Presents: Dane Cook

2000 (TV)

(Cook begins talk about Catholic practices) Dane Cook: It was Peace. Peace is when you would shake the hands of the people around you. And you knew peace was coming because the priest would say it five times rapid fire. He'd go, "My peace I leave, my peace I give to you. While we ate Reese's Pieces with the Lord. And I have a piece of lint in my peaceful EYE!"

Dane Cook: (holding hands up as if advertising something next to his face) Start out your day the holy way with Christ Chex!

Dane Cook: (talking about time travel) I just want to run up and slap my dad's ass and run off screaming, "I'm your son from the future.! Ahh! I'm your son. From the future!"

Comedy Central Presents: Lewis Black

2002 (TV)

Lewis Black: What's the difference between a Democrat and a Republican? A Democrat blows, a Republican sucks!

Lewis Black: Is oral sex adultery? Yes! There is no discussion! If curling is an olympic sport, then oral sex is adultry. And oral sex should be an olympic sport because it's more difficult than curling and if you're any good at it, you deserve a medal!

Comedy Central Roast of Jeff Foxworthy

2005 (TV)

Nick DiPaolo: Psychologists have proven that when you play Jeff's humor to a baby when it's in the womb, it'll eventually be wearing a hockey helmet and shitting its pants at forty.

Jeff Foxworthy: Lisa Lampinelli. I'm not gay, but if I were, you'd be the reason why.

Comic Book Villains

2002 (V)

Archie: After all that had happened, life and the living of it seemed too fleeting to waste in one place or on arguing whether Superman was stronger than the Hulk.

(The cops arrive) Raymond: My ride's here.

Raymond: Either you're trying to patronize me, fuck with me, or get yourself killed. And, by the way, you're doing a pretty good job.

Raymond: What are you smiling at? Carter: Nothing, it's just I thought I was dealing with fools. Raymond: But now you see differently. Carter: No, I don't.

Comin' Round the Mountain

1951

(after walking into an old beat-down cabin) Wilbert: How could my kin folks ever live in a joint like this? Al Stewart: Probably your four fathers lived here. Wilbert: I beg your pardon? Al Stewart: I said probably your four fathers lived here before you. Wilbert: My four fathers? Al Stewart: Yes. Wilbert: I didn't have four fathers. Al Stewart: Sure, you did. Wilbert: If I did, only one came home nights.

Al Stewart: What's going on out there? Wilbert: My in-laws are acting like out-laws.

(after seeing a goat) Wilbert: Funny-looking dog.

Command & Conquer: Renegade

2002 (VG)

Dr Sydney Mobius: (driving in a truck after Havok saves her but not Mobius or Petrova) What the hell were you doing? you were supposed to rescue all three of us, are you always this incorsiderate? GDI Capt Nick 'Havoc' Parker: Cow! Dr Sydney Mobius: PIG GDI Capt Nick 'Havoc' Parker: No COW (Sydney almost runs over a cow)

GDI Gen Adam Locke: We're still having trouble getting forces through the main gate GDI Capt Nick 'Havoc' Parker: That's because its still up

GDI Capt Nick 'Havoc' Parker: One thing I love about this place: Lots of stuff to blow up around here

Dr Ignatio Mobius: Sydney! Thank God GDI Capt Nick 'Havoc' Parker: You're welcome

Command & Conquer

1995 (VG)

Seth: So, you're the new addition to the Brotherhood. Well. I'm Seth. Just, Seth. From God, to Kane, to Seth. I am his right hand, and I have a task for you. This (presses button, photo appears) is Nicoomba. He has caused the Brotherhood much grief. His views do not coincide with ours, and that makes him dangerous. Silence him.

Kane: We have waited centuries for this moment. The rivers will flow with the blood of those who oppose us.

Commander in Chief

2005

Grace Bridges: If Moses had been a woman, leading the Jews out of Egypt, she'd have stopped to ask for directions. They would've found Israel within a week.

Mackenzie Allen: What a town. You can't even trust the backstabbers.

Mackenzie Allen: I'm going to go out there, and I'm going to take the oath of office. I'm going to run this government... and if some Islamic nations can't tolerate a female president, then I promise you... it will be more their problem than mine!

Amy Allen: Will they put your face on money?

Mackenzie Allen: So I say to the people of this nation: I am humbled by your greatness. I am humbled by the history being made here today, humbled by the notion that I am the first woman to hold this office. I'm humbled by the responsibilities that rest with me.

Mackenzie Allen: (grumbling that her youngest has interrupted an intimate moment with her husband) Potus interruptus.

Commandments

1997

Rudy: Who among us knows the way of the Lord? Seth: I have a theory. He's a raving psychotic.

Harry Lucia: I break 5 or 6 commandments every day before lunch.

Seth Warner: I am not crazy. I know the difference between bad luck and divine inspiration.

Gordon Bloom: The story has it all - death, sex, and God.

Rachel Lucia: Am I a commandment to be broken? Seth Warner: Yes. Rachel Lucia: Is that all? Seth Warner: No.

Gordon Bloom: For the record, if you were murdered, how would that make you feel?

Seth: I am not crazy! I know the difference between bad luck and the Divine Hand. Harry, if your shoelace breaks once, fine. Twice, tough. Three times? Hell, change the brand. But if your shoelace breaks every day for two years it's time to check your Bible!

Commercial Entertainment Product

1992 (V)

Host Anchorperson: Emergency Broadcast Network is not responsible for any of the views or opinions which are expressed in the following program, and any similarity of persons portrayed to any actual persons living or dead is purely incidental.

(re-edited version of a presidential address) George Bush: Some may ask, why rock out now? The answer is clear. These are the times that rock men's souls. I instructed our military commander to totally rock America.

Communion

1976

Mr Alphonso: Psst. Where are you going? Alice Spages: None of your business, fatso. Mr Alphonso: Uh, I'm not feeling well and stores don't deliver on Sundays. (he makes fake coughing noises) How would you like to go to the store for me, please? (Alice walks off) That little bitch.

Alice Spages: There's so much junk around this filthy place. I bet you never clean it. It smells like cat's piss.

Compelling Evidence

1995

Rick Stone: No amount of money is worth living under a microscope!

Ross: Before you worked for this studio, even Corman wouldn't hire you!

Stephanie Roberts: I'm the only one that's good enough for you!

Michelle Stone: My darling husband - out again all night?

Julie: Can you imagine the publicity if Rick Stone were to kill someone?

Comrade X

1940

Vanya: Well, there's some good news and some bad news. Last week all the towels were stolen. But on the other hand the water wasn't running so nobody needed the towels. Everything balances.

Mac Thompson: Hello, honeybun. Miss me? Jane Wilson: No, I can always go to the zoo when you're away. Mac Thompson: Oh, I've got rivals, huh?

Vanya: The communists have ideas. But they found out you can't run a government with everybody going around having ideas. So what is happening, the communists are being executed so that Communism should succeed.

Mac Thompson: What, uh, what are they singing? Vanya: Same thing they always sing in prison: "We are Free."

Mac Thompson: I, uh, I got a confession to make. I lied to you. Theodora: What about? Mac Thompson: The USA. It ain't a spiritual desert. Say, it's pie a la mode, two-pants suits and the home of the brave, Pike's Peak and Coney Island.

Confessions of Boston Blackie

1941

Inspector Farraday: I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw one of those statues. Boston Blackie: Those lousy cigars you smoke are ruining your wind.

(while pursuing Harriet, The Runt is pulled over by a cop for running a red light) The Runt: I'm chasing a woman. Motorcycle cop: A woman, eh? Someday you'll thank me for this. (He arrests The Runt.)

Conquest

2002

Announcer: Whether it's ancient combat or modern sport, winning is what it's all about. Peter: I have to conquer a skill that I know absolutely nothing about. Announcer: But how do you win? Demolition derby announcer: The History Channel car is history! Announcer: This man has learned the hard way. Now he's ready to show you.

Peter: I have performed Shakespeare in front of Her Majesty the Queen and an audience of thousands. I have been to the dentist all my life. I have been shot at with guns and bows. But I have never been so scared in all my life.

Conseguenze dell'amore, Le

2004

Titta: Life without fantasy may be a mortal show.

Titta: Dad? Valerio: Dad is dead, but nobody told him.

Titta: Bad luck doesn't exist. It is just an invention of losers and poors.

Carlo: Do you know what scare me, doctor? To die of old age... I want to die in a daring way. Titta: It needs courage to die in a daring way.

man at the bar: You are lying! Titta: Truth is boring.

Contraband

1940

Mrs.Sorensen: Did you ever try being married? That can be quite a big adventure. Captain Anderson: (sighs) Why do women always say that? Marriage ends adventure. Mrs.Sorensen: (copies sigh) Why do men always say that?

Captain Anderson: Big ships, small adventures; small ships, big adventures.

Convicted

1950

George Knowland: That was a double breasted, overstuffed idiot.

George Knowland: A first year law clerk could win this case with an IQ of 50.

Ponti: You don't have to do anything to help me. Just go down and talk to the guards and find out what it's all about. I'd do that much for you. I'd do that much for a dog.

George Knowland: I've got to get to the bottom of this or they'll bust me wide open.

Cop and

1993

Devon: I'm your worst nightmare: an eight-year-old with a badge!

(Trying to persuade his grandmother to play hooky from work) Devon: But you're a nurse! You can make up some great disease!

Devon: So what you got under the hood? Nick: I got an engine, and in a minute, you.

Nick: We do not have a love/hate relationship. We have a hate/hate relationship.

Devon: Give me a milk STEVE (looks at all the bikers) In a dirty glass.

Purse Thief: (Devon is holding on to his leg) What are you going to do about this? Nick: This? I'm going to kill this.

Copacabana

1947

Lionel Q. Deveraux: (handing Carmen's mink stole to a hat-check girl) Take good care of this, and at ten o'clock give it a saucer of milk.

Carmen Novarro: Why are you always chasing women? Lionel Q. Deveraux: I'll tell you as soon as I catch one.

Lionel Q. Deveraux: This is an outrage! You'll hear from my lawyer! As soon as he gets a telephone!

Carmen Novarro: (trying to sneak into their hotel) Why don't we get married? Lionel Q. Deveraux: Let's not rush into marriage; we can't even get into the hotel.

Carmen Novarro: I don't think you want to marry me. Lionel Q. Deveraux: How can you say that? We've been engaged for almost ten years!

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