Film Dialogue 9

top

Clock Cleaners

1937

Donald: Hey! What's the big idea? Spring: What's the big idea? Donald: Aw, shut up! Spring: You shut up! Donald: Oh yeah? Spring: Oh yeah? Donald: Says you! Spring: Says you!

top

Clocking Off

2000

Steve Robinson: Come on, work and talk. If you can't do both, do the one that pays the wages.

top

Close My Eyes

1991

Richard: Is he going to kill me, you think?

top

Close to Home

2005/I

Steve Sharpe: You're taking money from a paralegal?

top

Clothes in the Wardrobe

1992 (TV)

Lili: I always hoped to die youmg, but now it's too late.

LILI: Your dog is making love to my foot.

top

Clubhouse Detectives in Big Trouble

2002

Dave: The whole thing was a joke just like your birthday party scavenger hunt.

top

Clubhouse Detectives in Scavenger Hunt

2003

Allie: Speaking of the Devil. Trish: Don't worry we'll try and save you some cake. Allie: Thanks I hope you gag on it.

top

Clubhouse Detectives

1996

Kade: (holding a baseball bat) Mr Chambers, if you touch Billy and I'll break your legs. If you kill him, you're going to have to kill me too.

top

Clue Club

1976

Woofer: Amateurs all around me!

top

Clutch

1998

Spit: Morality is for simpletons

Theresa: I need money and I don't steal Martyn: You're an auto mechanic, you steal everyday.

top

Coach of the Year

2005

Coach: (hand on thigh) I'm still your coach, right?

top

Coach

1989

Coach Hayden Fox: You think I didn't respect you Christine, but the truth is, I didn't even think of you.

Coach Hayden Fox: You graduated from college and now you won't wash my car? Dauber: Uh-Huh Coach Hayden Fox: You see, this is why I hate education.

Coach Hayden Fox: We've got pie!

top

T-Men

1947

The Schemer: How did you find me? Dennis O'Brien: I could smell you.

Dennis O'Brien: Did you ever spend ten nights in a Turkish bath looking for a man? Don't.

top

The Brood

1979

Juliana Kelly: Thirty seconds after you're born you have a past and sixty seconds after that you begin to lie to yourself about it.

top

The Brown Bunny

2003

Bud Clay: Why do you have to drink and take drugs?

top

The Browning Version

1994

Andrew: I'd rather have this present than anything else I can think of.

Taplow: I feel sorry for him... Boy: Sorry?! For old Hitler? You little arse licker!

Andrew: In the Cold War, everyone wanted to learn Russian. Then came Perestroika; Russian wasn't trendy any more.

top

The Burning Bed

1984 (TV)

Hazel Moran: If you make a hard bed, you have to lay in it.

top

The Burning Boy

2001

Chill: Man, if you wanna touch me... If it turns you on... hey, go for it man. I don't care.

(first lines) Chill: I'm so fucking hot my brains on fire.

(last lines) Chill: Ben, There's no need to freak out man. I know you like me. Ben: (pushing him away) Ughhh.

top

The Burning

1981

Sophie: Hey Todd... over here!

top

The Business of Fancydancing

2002

Steven: They're not your tribe anymore, I'm your tribe.

top

The Butcher Boy

1997

(the Blessed Virgin Mary is exasperated by the Buthcer Boy's slowness to act) Our Lady: For fuck's sake, Francie!...

top

The Butcher's Wife

1991

Leo Lemke: My wife is going off the deep end... a short trip for her.

Marina Lemke: Folks call me Marina and I'm a clairvoyant.

Robyn Graves: Why do we waste our time with men! Grace: (who is a lesbian) Not all of us do.

top

The Cabin in the Cotton

1932

Madge: I'd like to kiss you, but I just washed my hair.

Madge: Your head is full o' plans, isn't it, darlin', full o' plans.

top

The Call of the Wild: Dog of the Yukon

1997 (TV)

(referring to Buck, the Yukon Dog) Narrator: And he knew that John Thornton was dead. It left a great void in him somewhat akin to hunger, but a void that ached and ached... and which food could not fill.

top

The Cameraman

1928

Sally Richards: (advice to the aspiring cameraman) You must always grind forward... never backward.

Edward J. Blake: (after screening Luke Shannon's lost newsreel footage) That's the best camera work I've seen in years! Get that man in here quick!

top

The Candy Snatchers

1973

Avery: (to Jessie) What are my chances of getting out of this? Jessie: (to Alan) Lie to Him Alan: (to Avery) Pretty good!

top

The Canterbury Tales

2003 (mini)

Nick Zakian: (whilst kissing Alison) I wanna give you sex that'll leave you panting for the next one! Sex that'll make you finally realise what James Brown was singing about!

top

The Canterville Ghost

1944

Sir Simon de Canterville: I have roamed these halls for three centuries and I am so tired. If only I could rest...

Sir Simon de Canterville: Excuse me, I really must gibber at the oriole window.

Mrs Polverdine: I believe they call it "woogie boogie".

top

The Cape

1996

(Testing a new space suit) Capt Ezekiel "Zeke" Beaumont, ASCAN: I thought you said these new suits were lighter. Col Jack Riles: They are. This one only weighs 200 pounds.

top

The Carol Burnett Show: Let's Bump Up the Lights

2004 (TV)

Audience Member: How old are you now? Vicki Lawrence: I dunno! Harvey Korman: I'm 77, and I can still go to the bathroom by myself! Tim Conway: The amazing thing is, he's doing it right now!

top

The Cars That Ate Paris

1974

Arthur Waldo: I can drive!

top

The Case of the Curious Bride

1935

Perry Mason: She's more of a legitimate fake than I thought she was.

top

The Cat and the Fiddle

1934

Victor: Every morning you and I will ride Teresa through the park. The sun will shine, the birds will sing, the flowers will bloom... Shirley: And I'll yell for the police!

top

The Cat in the Hat

1971 (TV)

Cat in the Hat: Cat, hat. In French chat chapeau. In Spanish, el gato in a sombrero.

Mr Krinklebein the Fish: Out! Out! Out of this house! Cat in the Hat: OUT? OUT? Why every house should have a cat in it... curling up by the fireplace little warm...

top

The Cat That Hated People

1948

Cat: I hate people.

Cat: They step on ya, walk on ya, step on ya, walk on ya, step on ya, walk on ya, step on ya, walk on ya, and kick ya!

top

The Cat with Hands

2001

Old Man: Last night as I slumbered I had a strange dream, / One that seemed to bring distant friends near. / I dreamt of the faces of people I loved, / And I awoke with an 'eart full of cheer.

top

T.H.E. Cat

1966

(first lines of each episode) Narrator: Along comes a man who saves lives at the risk of his own. Once a circus performer, an aerialist who refused the net. Once a cat burglar, a master among jewel thieves. And now, a professional bodyguard. Primitive, savage, in love with danger. The Cat.

Attractive young woman: T. Hewitt Edward Cat. What does the "T" stand for? T.H.E Cat: Tom.

top

The Catch

2004

Stephen: Perfect... fresh with a little fat... just the way I like it!

top

The Catered Affair

1956

Agnes Hurley: You're going to have a big wedding whether you like it or not! And if you don't like it, you don't have to come!

top

The Cave

2005

Charlie: They fly! They frickin' fly!

Kathryn: At first, I thought it couldn't survive outside of a cave environment. Now, I'm not sure. I think it wants to get out.

top

The Cay

1974 (TV)

Timothy: ... this outrageous humbug island.

top

The Cement Garden

1993

Julie: Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short, wear shirts and boots, because it's OK to be a boy, but for a boy to look like a girl is degrading, because you think that being a girl is degrading. But secretly you'd love to know what it's like, wouldn't you? What it feels like for a girl?

top

The Cemetery Club

1993

Doris Silverman: Thank you--and you have a nice trip back to planet Earth.

top

The Census Taker

1998

Michael: I have to be in court in 20 minutes. Jack: You're a lawyer! Michael: Yeah. Yeah. Got my first case today - sixty twenty. Jack: What's that? Michael: Guy was doing sixty in a twenty mile per hour zone.

top

The Center of the World

2001

(About Richard's gift of $2000.) Jerri: What planet is he from? Florence: I'm still trying to figure that out.

Florence: What did you think? That I was falling in love with you?

top

The Champ

1931/I

(Dink compares the swanky home to his own) Dink Purcell: The Champ and I ain't fixed up swell as this, but our joint's more lively.

top

The Chaplin Revue

1959

Narrator: There were no atomic bombs or guided missiles. Then it was only cannon, bayonets and poisoned gas. Ha ha. Those were the good old days.

top

The Chase

1966

Damon: Well now, Sheriff, it's nice to know that you're out here on patrol. Sheriff Calder: No, no, I'm not on patrol. Just lookin' for an ice cream cone, that's all.

top

The Cheat

1915

Edith Hardy: The same old story - my husband objects to my extravagance - and you.

Edith Hardy: (lying about how she lost $10,000) I lost it playing bridge- I was afraid to tell you.

Haka Arakau: (to Edith) You cannot cheat me twice.

top

The Cheerleaders

1973

(On the way to the locker room, the girls run into creepy janitor Novi) Suzie: There's MALARIA in the AREA! Debbie: I think it's an anti-social disease!

top

The Chimp

1932

intertitle: The night was dark - They usually are.

top

The Christmas Kid

1967

Sheriff Anderson: Well, how do you expect one to keep law and order in this town if every time I bring 'em in, you keep turning 'em loose? Judge George Perkins: You keep the order and I'll look after the law!

top

The Christmas Tree Train

1983 (TV)

Buttons: Who is Sandy Claws? Rusty: Sounds like a bear with dirty nails.

Bridgette: Abner, wake up. It's time to go to bed.

top

The Cimarron Kid

1952

Bill Doolin: I've got a rule of my own that might do you good to remember: there will be no killing unless it's forced upon us.

Warden: Hate gets under a man's skin. It spoils his whole life. It's like a bad growth, kid. You got to get rid of it.

top

The Circus Queen Murder

1933

Thatcher Colt: It's a well known fact that cannibals differ from the rest of us in their dietary customs.

top

The Circus

1928

Merna: I've run away from the circus.

top

The Cisco Kid

1950

(last lines of each episode) The Cisco Kid: Oh, Pancho! Pancho: Oh, Cisco!

top

The City Under the Sea

1965

The Captain: Atlantis? Perhaps; a name is as good as another.

top

The Class of Nuke 'Em High 3: The Good Bad and the Subhumanoid

1994

(reflecting on life as a subhumanoid) Roger Smith: I just can't shake that feeling that I'm not a whole person.

(secretly filming a mutant sex session) Professor Holt: Check focus on her melon-heavy breasts.

top

The Clearing

2004

Wayne Hayes: Do you love me? Eileen Hayes: Yes. Wayne Hayes: Then I have everything I need.

top

The Click: Balls of Thunder

2002 (TV)

Rod Steele: I'd like a vodka martini, shaken not stirred, with a touch of lemon and one green olive on a wooden toothpick, preferably imported from somewhere in the Orient.

(to an officious minion code-named "P") Rod Steele: Nothing better than having a good P.

Agent 0013: I'm pumping answers out of him!

top

The Closer You Get

2000

Kieran O'Donnell: I'm not an alcoholic! I can drink at home!

top

The Cockettes

2002

Himself: They were hippie acid-freak drag queens.

John Waters: Well, the Cockettes were basically complete sexual anarchy (smiles) which is always a good thing.

top

The Cold Equations

1996 (TV)

Lt John Barton: One word: captain's orders.

top

The Color of Friendship

2000 (TV)

Piper Dellums: (to Mahree) You do drink chocolate, right? Or maybe you only like vanilla.

top

The Comfort of Strangers

1990

Robert: Let me tell you something: My father was a very big man. And all his life he wore a black mustache. When it was no longer black, he used a small brush, such as ladies use for their eyes. Mascara.

top

The Commissioner

1998

James Morton: You're not by any chance some kind of feminist? Helena: The worst kind! A Woman!

top

The Common Law

1931

John Neville Sr: You're getting more like your mother every day. Mrs Claire Collis: I should think that would make you very happy. John Neville Sr: It does. And a little apprehensive.

top

The Competition

1980

Paul: Nobody looks that good in direct sunlight, so you're not such a knockout.

Greta Vandemann: (to Andrew Erskine) Andrew! It costs extra to carve "schmuck" on a tombstone, but you would definitely be worth the expense!

top

The Comrades of Summer

1992 (TV)

Tanya: It is not my job to be your girlfriend.

top

The Confetti Brothers

2001

Michael O'Brien: We take the time to make our confetti the old fashioned way, by hand.

Patrick O'Brien: You've got to love this business to be in it and if you're just doing it for prestige and dignity, then you've got to get out while you can. It's a lot like modeling in that respect.

top

The Connection

1962

Cowboy: Man, I believe anything that's illegal is illegal because it makes more money for more people that way.

top

The Conspirators

1944

Ricardo Quintanilla: This may seem to you melodramatic, but indulge me, please, I like melodrama.

top

The Cormorant

1993 (TV)

John Talbot: Heaven does not interest mankind, it is too much like a never ending Sunday afternoon. It is Hell that captivates us.

top

The Corn Is Green

1945

Miss Lilly Moffat: That man is so stupid, it sits on him like a halo.

top

The Coroner

1999

Prostitute: I got *plans*, Emma.

Fliesman: You are one sick puppy and you need help.

top

The Corpse Vanishes

1942

Patricia Hunter: Oh, professor, do you also make a habit of collecting coffins? Dr Lorenz: Why, yes, in a manner of speaking. I find a coffin much more comfortable than a bed.

top

The Cowboy and the Blonde

1941

Skeeter: Well, cut off my legs and call me Shorty!

top

The Craic

1999

Wesley Murray: Lovely, fuckin' lovely.

top

The Creature of the Sunny Side Up Trailer Park

2004

Donnie Daniels: What? Is the little cracker head scared?

Lynette: I'm your one woman welcoming party.

top

The Creeping Flesh

1973

James Hildern: Unfortunately, in the state of society as it exists today, we are not permitted to experiment on human beings. Normal human beings.

top

The Crew

1995

Paul Steadman: Lenora, what are you still doing here? Shouldn't you be in Whoville stealing Christmas?

top

The Criminal

1999

Peter Hume: The refugees, genocide... they're just a sideshow, distracting everyone from the real agenda: power and influence.

top

The Cross and the Switchblade

1970

Nicky Cruz: I could kill you, preach! David Wilkerson: Yes, you could, Nicky. You could cut me up in a thousand pieces! And every piece will say 'I love you!'

top

The Crossing Guard

1995

Peter: Did you get buttfucked in prison? John Booth: It only hurts the first time.

(After being released from prison.) John Booth: Freedom is overrated.

top

The Crow Road

1996 (mini)

Prentice: It all started the day my Grandmother exploded.

top

The Crowd

1928

Title Card: The crowd laughs with you always... but it will cry with you for only a day.

John 'Johnny' Sims: Marriage is not a word, it's a *sentence*!

top

The Crowded Sky

1961

Sidney Schreiber: I should be in the American flag business. Cigarettes turn me blue, whiskey turns me red, and women turn me white.

Cheryl Heath: I just love banana splits. Is it all the wonderful mixed-up flavors, or is it something Freudian?

top

The Cruel Sea

1953

Lt Cmdr. Ericson: If you were in it, you knew all about it. You knew how to keep watch on filthy nights, and how to go without sleep; how to bury the dead, and how to die without wasting anyone's time.

Tallow: If anyone else makes a noise, I'll have his guts for a necktie.

Capt Ericson: Steady as she goes, Number One.

top

The Curse of Frankenstein

1957

Baron Frankenstein: Let's let our friend here rest in peace... while he can.

Baron Frankenstein: (after his monster has nearly killed him) I did it, Paul!

Baron Frankenstein: I've harmed nobody, just robbed a few graves!

top

The Daedalus Encounter

1995 (VG)

(a Vakkar corpse is revealed as Casey turns on the floodlight) Zack: Whoa! God, those things are ugly. Ari: Why Zack, I always thought you found them quite... attractive. Zack: Hey, I was drunk that night, okay? And you swore to me it was female.

top

The Dallas Connection

1994

Cobra: God, you were good - but hey, so was I.

Mark Austin: I'd like to suck the polish off your toes.

Chris Cannon: (after blowing up a Chinese assassin) You should have read your fortune cookie.

top

The Damned

2001

Alice: Edward, Simmons is dismembering the secessionist!

top

The Dance of Death

1969

Edgar: She's mad at me for not dying yesterday. Alice: For not dying twenty-five years ago! For not dying before I was born!

top

The Dangers of Smoking Cigarettes

2005

Narrator: Plop! Plop! Plop!

top

The Dark Area

2000 (V)

Tobias: Wer macht den sowas ? Cop #1: Sie hatten also tatsächlich recht. Andre: Weisst du was - wir sind weg.

top

The Dark Backward

1991

Gus: I will laugh SO hard, my stomach will burst open and spray bile all over the stage!

Rosarita: It's all over between the two of us. I can't love a man with three hands.

top

The Dark Horse

1932

Hal Samson Blake: He's the dumbest human being I ever saw. Every time he opens his mouth he subtracts from the sum total of human knowledge.

top

The Dark Power

1985

Ranger Girard: Feel my whip, you son of a bitch!

Mary: Of course, some girls might be a little crazier about whips than others. Ranger Girard: You know about my whip?

Ranger Girard: All right, you demonic bastard, let's take this outside!

top

The Dark Secret of Harvest Home

1978 (mini)

Worthy Pettinger: May God curse the corn! Goddamn the mother!

Justin Hooke: I didn't know you city boys liked to fight. Nick Constantine: Next to lovin' it's what we do best.