Movie Quotes - 89
Film dialogue
- Buttcrack
- Butterflies
- Bwana Devil
- Caduta degli dei, La
- Calamity Jane and Sam Bass
- Call Me Madam
- Call of the Wild
- Camel Cricket City
- Campion
- Candy
- Cannes Man
- Cannon for Cordoba
- Capote
- Captain Kronos - Vampire Hunter
- Captain N & the Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3
- Captain Newman, M.D.
- Captain Planet and the Planeteers
- Captain Valedor versus the Spider Queen
- Captains Courageous
- Car of Dreams
- Career Opportunities
- Carlita's Secret
- Carmen Jones
- Carnosaur
- Carrington
- Carry On Cabby
- Carry On Cowboy
- Carry On Dick
- Carry On Nurse
- Carry On Sergeant
- Carry On Spying
- Carry On Up the Jungle
- Carter's Army
- Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue
- Casa dell'esorcismo, La
- Casanova's Big Night
- Cash and Carry
- Cat People
- Cattle Queen of Montana
- Caught
- Cavalry Patrol
- Celebrity Mole: Hawaii
- Celebrity Poker Showdown
- Celtic Pride
- Cercle rouge, Le
- Chain of Fools
- Chalk
- Champion
- Changi
- Channeling Alphonse
- Charlie Brown's Christmas Tales
- Charlie Chan at the Opera
- Charlie Chan in Paris
- Charlie Chan in The Chinese Cat
- Charlotte Gray
- Cheap Seats
- Cheaper by the Dozen
- Cheaters
- Cheech & Chong's Next Movie
- Cherry 2000
- Cherry, Harry & Raquel!
- Chestnut: Hero of Central Park
- Cheyenne Warrior
- Chicken Little
- Chicks, Man
Buttcrack
1998
(Brian beats Zombie Wade to death with a skillet.) Brian: Well, I hope we did the right thing.
Preacher Man Bob: God is everywhere! He's in your shoes! He's in the little hairs on the back of your neck! Ken: Is He in urine?
Preacher Man Bob: (praying) Now God, I done said all I had to say at Brother Wade's first funeral. I just hope you can call him home this time so we don't have to kill him and go through this all over again
Butterflies
1978
Ria Parkinson: Oh, thank heavens, there's Adam. As long as I have Adam, I can avoid Valium.
Ben Parkinson: (to Adam, after he compares baking a cake to giving birth) I will not have you talking to your mother like that. She is baking a cake. Nothing that goes on around that oven has anything to do with procreation. This a kitchen, not a maternity ward. Cakes are delivered here. Cakes! And other disasters.
Bwana Devil
1952
Dr McLean: As Gladstone said, "stat-us quo, stat-us quo."
Bob: Now I'm in a conspiracy against *him*.
Bob: Civilization, that's a noble word, but not enough to keep me rotting here.
Dr McLean: I've seen more game in the streets of Glasgow.
Bob: I don't need any help, I'll get that scurvy lion myself.
Dr McLean: There's a good guest... brings his own cook and his own bedroom!
Caduta degli dei, La
1969
Martin Von Essenbeck: Lisa. Look what I've brought you. Do you like this little horse? Lisa: Yes, thank you. Martin Von Essenbeck: You can ride on it. Do you like it? Hmmm? You can caress it. Try it Lisa. It's all yours. Do you like it? Lisa: Yes.
Aschenbach: Calm yourself. I didn't bring you here to blackmail you. Konstantin has already tried. It didn't bring him any luck. And then to put you in real trouble. You, the son of a hero, the true hero, the only Von Essenbeck... just because a little Jewish had the bad taste to hang herself. Didn't you know? JEW. According to the New Order, your's isn't even a crime. In fact, it's... But, that's not enough say we are friends... or allies.
Calamity Jane and Sam Bass
1949
Abe Jones: How's the coffee, Dakota? Is it strong enough? Dakota: Stop rocking it! If it don't shake, it's strong enough.
Joel Collins: I've never seen anybody take to anything the way you have a gun. A man would think you've been shooting all your life. Sam Bass: It's just like anything else. Decide where you want to go, then get there the best way you can.
(Sam Bass and friends have just held up a stagecoach and removed only part of the money from the strong box) Joel Collins: Well, we could've had our ranch out of that box. Sam Bass: No, we couldn't, Joel. The way we did it, even if this thing comes out, people will know that we took back only what he stole from us. They'll be on our side. Dakota: Sure, we wouldn't want 'em to think we robbed this stage dishonestly.
Call Me Madam
1953
Sally Adams: Call Me Madam. Pemberton Maxwell: Madam... Sally Adams: When you call me madam, smile.
Cosmo Constantine: You are the most American American I have ever met. Sally Adams: That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Congressman: When will you arrive at your post? Sally Adams: I'm not sure. Hey, boss, where the heck is Lichtenburg?
Congressman: Sally, you wouldn't like me to make a little farewell speech tonight? Sally Adams: That's right. I wouldn't!
Grand Duke: Tell me - How does this reception differ from your famous Washington parties? Sally Adams: Well we have good time!
Call of the Wild
1972
John Thornton: You hit that dog one more time, I'm gonna kill ya. Hal: Go to hell! He's mine and I'll do what I like with him. John Thornton: I shot four varmints already this morning. One more don't matter none to me.
Pete: I've never seen so many people. John Thornton: And more are coming all the time. I tell ya, Pete, if this is the promised land, I'll take the open trail.
Camel Cricket City
2003
(as Camel Cricket slurps up milk) Eva: Milk is good. It's just so hard to drink.
Tim: Don't you remember Mom? Potatoes are her friends.
Heather: Some girl friends and I wanted to go to the movies. Can we go? Eva: Sure I don't see why... Greg: Going to the movies isn't going to make you ready to be a woman.
Camel Cricket: Best be a'getting on your way little doggy, or old Camel Cricket is a'gonna have some fun. I'll let them alone if we settle this, Pilgrim. At high noon. Your stable.
Camel Cricket: We will paint your sky!
Campion
1989
Albert Campion: We may be going to a house where they have *real* servants. You'll have to behave. Magersfontein Lugg: I can handle servants. Albert Campion: Up to and including grievous bodily harm. Magersfontein Lugg: I've got discretion, me - in *both* fists!
Albert Campion: This is a gun, and as soon as I've read the instruction leaflet I won't hesitate to use it.
Candy
1968
General R.A. Smight: You can't give blood to a member of your own family. Jack Christian: Why can't I? General R.A. Smight: Why can't you? Why can't you? Jack Christian: That was my question, yes. General R.A. Smight: Well because that's, that's... That's incest.
T.M. Christian: Now look you people! This isn't some godforsaken border town where you can just, uh, go about as you please and, and bother innocent people and do... do... do... Mexican things!
Cannes Man
1996
(Sy Lerner interrupts Johnny Depp and Jim Jarmusch while they are meditating in order to pitch them a film) Sy Lerner: This is a very spiritual film. This is a film written by a poet, whose father was a poet, one of the great American cowboy poets. Sy Lerner: (to Jim Jarmusch) And in fact, this is the kind of film that you would be perfect to direct. Now I don't know if you could handle a budget that big, 25 million, 'cause you're not used to working with that... Jim Jarmusch: Hey, I could handle any budget - 100 million - but I'm on a level above the earth right now. I'm interested in spiritual... Johnny Depp: We're floating. Right now, we're floating. Jim and I are above you.
Cannon for Cordoba
(1970)
Cordoba: The revolution has many friends... for a price.
Cordoba: Remember, hombre, it's better to die on you feet than live on your knees.
Capt Rod Douglas: The trouble being a hero is the morning after.
Jackson Harkness: He's young, but he'll settle down. Capt Rod Douglas: How far? Six feet?
Capote
2005
Nelle Harper Lee: You paid him to say that didn't you? Truman Capote: How did you know?
Truman Capote: I have 94 per cent recall of all conversation. I tested it myself.
Truman Capote: Ever since I was a child, folks have thought they had me pegged, because of the way I am, the way I talk. And they're always wrong.
Truman Capote: It's as if Perry and I grew up in the same house. And one day he went out the back door and I went out the front.
Perry Smith: I thought that Mr Clutter was a very nice gentleman. I thought so right up to the moment that I cut his throat.
Truman Capote: I couldn't have done anything to save them. Nelle Harper Lee: Maybe not, Truman. But the truth is, you didn't want to.
Captain Kronos - Vampire Hunter
1974
Kronos: What he doesn't know about vampires, you couldn't put in a flea's codpiece.
Marcus: I've been saving a bottle of wine for a rainy day. Grost: (looking up at clear sky) It's pouring.
(an old folk rhyme about vampire detection) Captain Kronos: If a vampire should bestrode / Close to the grave of a dead toad / Then the vampire life shall give / And suddenly, the toad shall live.
Doctor Marcus: I know you've got guts, Kronos. I've seen them!
Hieronymous Grost: You see, doctor, there are as many species of vampire as there are beasts of prey. Their methods and their motive for attack can vary in a hundred different ways. Captain Kronos: As are the methods of their destruction!
Carla: Beauty fades eventually, but a kind soul remains forever.
Captain N & the Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3
1990
King Bowser Koopa: Now that my brilliant plan is complete, it's time for you kids to be zapped to normal size. Bully Koopa: But Pop, we're having such fun being Sneaky, Lying, Cheating, Giant Ninja Koopas. Big Mouth Koopa: Couldn't we stay like this and go capture a couple more kingdoms? King Bowser Koopa: That's a cruel, rotten, disgusting idea. And I love it!
Captain Newman, M.D.
1963
Capt Josiah J. Newman, MD: You mustn't confused sadness with depression "professor". Cpl. Jackson 'Jake' Leibowitz: Is there any difference? Can a man looks sad and still be happy? Capt Josiah J. Newman, MD: Yes. Cpl. Jackson 'Jake' Leibowitz: Example? Capt Josiah J. Newman, MD: You.
Cpl. Jackson 'Jake' Leibowitz: (to Capt Newman) You see, in the neighborhood I came, we had to learn six different languages in order to do business.
Captain Planet and the Planeteers
1990
Kwame: Let our powers combine. Earth. Wheeler Sloane: Fire Linka: Wind Gi: Water Ma-Ti: Heart Kwame, Wheeler Sloane, Linka, Gi, Ma-Ti: Go Planet! Captain Planet: By your powers combined I am Captain Planet.
Dr Blight: You know you're making it really difficult to be an eco-villan.
Opening Narrator: Gaia is unable to keep the earth from crumbling. From the four corners of the globe Gaia will give 5 rings in order to summon earth's greatest champion. From Africa Kwame with the power of earth. From the United States Wheeler with the power of fire. From the Soviet Union Linka with the power of wind. From Asia Gi with the power of water and from South America Ma-Ti with the power of heart. With the five powers combined they summon earth's greatest champion. GO PLANET!
Captain Valedor versus the Spider Queen
2004
Kerr: It's as black as a Zardovian winter in here, Dr Photon! Are you sure this is the generator room? Dr Photon: As sure as science, Kerr.
Narrator: Will Valedor defeat the Spider Queen in this daring duel to the death? Will Kerr be revived by his heretofore unknown alien regenerative powers and use his new atomic disintegration cannon to destroy the giant spider warrior? Find out in the next thrilling installment of Captain Valedor versus the Spider Queen!
The Spider Queen: Join me, Captain Valedor. Together we can spin a wondrous web!
Captains Courageous
1937
Harvey: I bet I know a lot of things you don't know. I know that's not French you're singing. Manuel Fidello: That's right. About ten million people know it's Portugese. Harvey: I bet you can't speak French. Manuel Fidello: Right now, I sorry I speak *English*.
Manuel Fidello: Wake up, Little Fish. Hey, wake up, wake up! Somebody think you dead, they have celebrations.
Manuel Fidello: I gonna get nifty suit. You know, purple colored. Oh, very nifty suit, with shoes to match and big pearl buttons. Oh, and then I get new tie with big yellow flowers. Oh, then I walk up and down Duckett Street, and I say "Hey, girls, girls. Hey, look, look. Manuel is in town." Harvey: Girls? Manuel Fidello: Oh sure, beautiful girls. I got maybe five, six girls in Gloucester. I tell each one I like her best. You gotta tell big lies to girls to make them happy.
Car of Dreams
1935
Robert Miller: It's no good, Peters. I'm fed up with girls. Robert Miller: (notices Vera through a window) I think.
Henry Butterworth: You lied to that lady! Anne Fisher: And a good job too.
Henry Butterworth: Any of these? (Henry waves his hand over a range of brass musical instruments) Vera Hart: No. Henry Butterworth: Pity. I can play them all. Vera Hart: (sincerely) All at once?
Career Opportunities
1991
(On his first day as Target janitor night cleanup boy) Jim Dodge meets the Custodian, who points a rifle at him Custodian: Are you a slacker? Jim Dodge: No... Presbyterian actually. Custodian: What did you say? What did you say?? Now I'm asking you a simple question: Are you lazy?
Jim Dodge: Any little fraulein who expects anything more from me than a little bit of pleasure, a little bit of danger, and a great set of pectorals, she's lookin for a fall right on her ass.
Gil Kinney: You know, if my foot could talk... Nestor Pyle: Easy... Gil Kinney: ... it would say, "May I please go up this geek's ass!"
Josie: Big store. Jim Dodge: Huge.
Carlita's Secret
2004
Det. Kastell: Bad burrito day?
Det. Kastell: She gave me such a woody...
Det. Kastell: Honey, don't make me mess up your makeup...
Det. Cruz: Looks like the fishes have been at him. Det. Kastell: Yeah, he was in the water a while.
Angel: My dogs like their meat medium rare.
Carlita: Oh, please gentlemen, I'm begging you, go for your guns!
Carmen Jones
1954
Joe: Thanks, but I don't drink. Carmen Jones: Boy, if the army was made up of nothin' but soldiers like you, war wouldn't do nobody no good.
Frankie: Somethin' tells me Chicago's gonna be real good for you. Myrt: Somethin' tells me you gonna be real bad for Chicago.
Frankie: We'll be livin' off the fatheads of the land.
Carmen Jones: 'Scuse my dust, gentlemen. The air's gettin' mighty unconditioned 'round here.
Carnosaur
1993
Fallon: The last thing we need is a biotech panic about chickens!
Dr Jane Tiptree: The earth was not made for us - she was made for the dinosaurs.
Sheriff Fowler: I just want some peace and quiet.
'Doc' Smith: It's heading this way!
(about to kill the dinosaur) 'Doc' Smith: I hate wildlife!
Dr Sterling Raven: Isn't that the freshest, juciest blueberry pie you've ever tasted? Senator: (nods) Dr Sterling Raven: You see, it's all done with a little bit of scientific magic. Every single blueberry is coated with a thick layer of goat embryonic fluid... Senator: (vomits)
Carrington
1995
Lytton Strachey: I don't know what the world has come into: women in love with buggers and buggers in love with womanizers...
Lytton Strachey: If this is dying, I don't think much of it.
Lytton Strachey: I tend to be impulsive in these matters like the time I asked Virginia Woolf to marry me. Dora Carrington: She turned you down? Lytton Strachey: No, she accepted. It was ghastly.
Lytton Strachey: It isn't easy remaining calm in the face of excessive praise from The Daily Telegraph.
Lytton Strachey: I must say, I find these new young people wonderfully refreshing, they have no morals and they never speak. It's an enchanting combination.
Lytton Strachey: Every day, hundreds of boys are dying to preserve ... this! God damn, confound, blast and fuck the upper classes.
Carry On Cabby
1963
Peggy Hawkins: Charlie, I know what you're thinking. Charlie Hawkins: Good, then it save me having to tell you, Mrs Glam!
Peggy Hawkins: (to the car salesman) We'll take fifteen!
(Charlie, not knowing that Peggy is running Glamcabs, tells her all about the planned sabotage) Peggy Hawkins: What you're going to do is wrong, Charlie! Charlie Hawkins: Alright, so it's wrong, Charlie! And I'm a right Charlie!
Expectant Father: Cab! Charlie Hawkins: No. (denoting the vehicle) *This* is the cab. (denoting himself) I'm the driver. (denoting Pintpot) He's a learner. (denotes the expectant father) And you're a twit, but get out of the way.
Carry On Cowboy
1965
Sam: I never did get to know exactly what she'd done that was so wrong. Judge Burke: Old Ben was a friend of mine Sam, and she killed him. Doc: It was his own fault. He was ninety-two. I warned him not to marry her!
Big Heap: This is my squaw, Kitikata. Charlie: How. Johnny Finger: Never mind how, where!
Johnny Finger: (addressing the Indian chief) How! Me-um heap big paleface chief from-um Stodge City. Me-um salute-um big chief. Me-um want-um pow-wow. Big Heap: (speaking perfect English) I say, you do talk funny. You must be foreigners.
Belle Armitage: (admiring his gun) My, but you got a big one! Johnny Finger: I'm from Texas, ma'am. We all got big ones down there.
Carry On Dick
1974
Lady Daley: All this talk of Big Dick. I've had enough of it!
(Madame Desiree passes him on the stairs carrying a sword) Capt Desmond Fancey: I wouldn't fancy a poke with that. Madame Desiree: What did you say? Capt Desmond Fancey: Your blade, ma'am. Madame Desiree: I shouldn't worry (pointing the blade at his crotch) You don't look as if you've got much to lose.
("Big" Dick is points his pistol at Madame Desiree) Madame Desiree: That Doesn't scare me. I've seen bigger ones in my time. Dick Turpin: That doesn't surprise me.
Carry On Nurse
1959
Ted York, Newspaper Reporter.: Did it win? Second Ambulance Man: That nag should be going into hospital, not you! Ted York, Newspaper Reporter.: I wonder who won the baby stakes? (Ted get up from the strecher, which collapses on top of the First Ambulance Man) Ted York, Newspaper Reporter.: (looking down) Supposing I'd been on it!
(Nurse Dawson approaches Ted with a large tablet) Ted York, Newspaper Reporter.: You have given one of these before? Nurse Stella Dawson: Oh, good gracious, hundreds. (Hands him a glass of water) There you are, get it down now. Nurse Dorothy Denton: (Passing:) Other end, Nurse. (Nurse Dawson looks ashamed) Ted York, Newspaper Reporter.: Never mind. With a face like mine, it's a mistake anyone might make.
Sister: It's Matron's round. Percy Hickson: Mine's a pint!
Carry On Sergeant
1958
James Bailey: (During bayonet practice:) Don't you think this is a trifle out of date in a world bristling with H-Bombs, Sergeant? (Golightly charges, only to get caught up in the hanging sack) Sgt. Grimshawe: Private Bailey, in answer to your question, I'd back him against the H-Bomb any day!
Captain Potts: Your rank? James Bailey: Well, that's a matter of opinion.
Carry On Spying
1964
Desmond Simpkins: Oh, Vienna! Lovely! I've always wanted to see Vienna before I die. The Chief: With a bit of luck, you'll do both.
(Arriving at the villains' secret lair) Daphne Honeybutt aka Agent Brown Cow: It must be their headquarters! Charlie Bind: (Ogling a female technician bent over some equipment) Looks more like their hindquarters.
Doctor Crow: I am Doctor Crow. You are surprised? Daphne Honeybutt aka Agent Brown Cow: Yes, I am! I expected you to be a man... or a woman.
Harold Crump: (approaching Carstairs, in disguise as the filter tip bootlace salesman) I cannot smoke those, they make me deaf!
Carry On Up the Jungle
1970
Prof. Inigo Tinkle: I'm flabbergasted! My gast has never been so flabbered!
Lady Evelyn Bagley: There is my reputation to think of. You would need to be very circumspect. Prof. Inigo Tinkle: Oh, I was! When I was a baby!
Lady Evelyn Bagley: (flirtatiously) One would feel so much safer with a strong, fearless man beside one. Prof. Inigo Tinkle: Oh, I agree. But where could we find one out here?
(June is teaching Jungle Boy how to count.) Jungle Boy: One... two... three... four... five... (grins lasciviously) ... sex. June: (as Jungle Boy picks her up) I wonder if we'll ever get to seven?
Carter's Army
1970 (TV)
(reading from Pvt. Brightman's notebook) Lt Edward Wallace: "July 25. We have been assured by Major Wallace that there will be a rest for us when we reach Berlin. The fighting has been hard, the strain almost unbearable. I will receive the Medal of Honor from General Eisenhower but the heroism of 'B' Company will be preserved by the men who have seen us fight and die."
(last lines) First soldier in truck: Hey boy, what are you standin' there for? Second soldier in truck: Hey boy, you better get some latrines dug! (Second soldier throws a shovel at the wounded Pvt. Crunk. Captain Carter picks it up and slams it against the bridge railing) Capt Beau Carter: Hey, medic!
Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue
1990 (TV)
Gordon 'ALF' Shumway: You use, you lose kid!
Kermit: There's nothing cool about a fool on drugs!
Michael: (Alf shows Michael what he will look like in the future, via a mirror) Who is that? Gordon 'ALF' Shumway: Well, it's not Freddy Krueger. This is you. Pretty pitiful, huh?
Michaelangelo: Cowabunga, dude! How did you ever get so totally cool?
Casa dell'esorcismo, La
1973
Lisa Reiner: I'm not Lisa, you stupid pig! I'm not Lisa, and I never was Lisa! YOU PRICK!
Lisa Reiner: IMPOTENT! Max was impotent, and that's why I had to fuck Carlo!
Lisa Reiner: Don't break my balls, priest.
Lisa Reiner: (raging offscreen in a hospital room) Get your shitty hands off me! Lisa's friend: My god, that can't be her voice!
Casanova's Big Night
1954
Francesca Bruni: Well, then take your mask off. Pippo Popolino: Oh, no. I couldn't do that. I haven't got anything on underneath it.
Francesca Bruni: Your lips are fire. Pippo Popolino: I know. Saves a fortune on matches.
Pippo Popolino: Don't be frightened, Francesca. I'm scared enough for all of us.
Pippo Popolino: Farffel farffel pippick.
Cash and Carry
1937
Moe: There's enough gold here to get little Jimmy an operation! Curly: There's enough gold here to get ALL of us an operation!
(the Stooges all look at a map marked "Walla Walla") Moe: Walla Walla with an "X." Curly: I know! "X" marks the spot where the treasure is buried! It's in the Walla. Moe: But there's two Wallas. Curly: Certainly! There's a Walla, and there's a Walla over there. Larry: Which one's it buried in? Moe: It makes no difference, we'll each take a Walla.
Cat People
1982
Paul Gallier: I didn't think you were ready, but you are. I knew it when I saw you with HIM. Irena Gallier: Who? Oliver? Paul Gallier: You want to fuck him, don't you? You dream about fucking him! Your whole body burns, it burns all along your nerves, in your mouth, your breasts... you go wet between your legs. Irena Gallier: Stop it! Paul Gallier: Every time it happens... you tell yourself it's love. But it isn't. It's blood. And death. You can't escape your nightmare without me, and I can't escape my nightmare without you. I've waited a long time for you.
Cattle Queen of Montana
1954
Tom McCord: No notches? Farrell: New job, new gun.
Colorados: And you go back to your settlement. Tell them that there are Indians who do not wish death to all whites... but peace. Sierra Nevada Jones: You going to help us. Colorados: Is it so hard to believe that I am a human being too?
Red Lance: My son, the time is not far when you must wear this buffalo helmet which is now mine. Your worries will be great, your problems will be many, but the greatest is not how to deal with the whites... but how to keep your own tribe together.
Colorados: The first thing you must learn from a white man is never ask reason.
Caught
1996
Betty: Fish are his life. Joe: Fish been very, very good to me.
Joe: If any customer finds a bone in their fish, I give them their money back plus a quarter.
Betty: I want to go places. Joe: You want to go places? Get up at 5: 00AM, I'll take you to Fulton's Fish Market.
Nick: (opening voice over) It's amazing the way you get into things.
Cavalry Patrol
1956 (TV)
(first lines) Lt Johnny Reardon: This is the territory - Arizona - 1868. This is the fort, such as it is. These are the men. Ex-mutineers, deserters, Confederate prisoners. But mixed in with these are a handful of the finest regulars on earth, all of them soldiers at $13 a month. My name is Reardon.
(last lines) Lt Johnny Reardon: Sixteen thousand miles of enemy frontier to be patrolled... a handful of men to do it. This is what had to be done.
Celebrity Mole: Hawaii
2003
Frederique: Guys, Guys, Sledgehammer, Sledgehammer!
(imitating Erik) Kathy: Come on, Pull it up! Pull it up! Why don't you get it? Pull it up! Pull it up!
Kathy: You've acted like a slut since the day I met you.
Kathy: This is like a sorority porn movie and I'm the head mistress.
Michael Boatman: I smell something burning. Oh, it's my career!
Kathy: What? Do I do my own drum line? Ba-dum cha.
Kathy: Frederique's like 'Well, it is our human nature, is it not?' and I'm like For God's sakes, do you want to be in a coalition or not?
Celebrity Poker Showdown
2003
Himself - Host: What's the point of having warm testicles if your nipples are cold?
Phil Gordon: Even Jesus wouldn't bet all of his chips on a Jack-three! Himself - Host: Or, well, if he did, by the time the cards hit the table they'd be different.
Phil Gordon: (stands up) I'll read the chip count if you can put your hand on the top of my head. Himself - Host: (looks at Phil's crotch, which is eye level with him) Which one?
Tournament Director: (catch phrase) Shuffle up and deal!
Kevin Nealon: You do any voice-over work, Robert? Robert Thompson: No, but can you give me some? Kevin Nealon: Nope. Robert Thompson: Okay.
Dave Foley: Okay, why don't we see how the chips are stacking. Phil Gordon: Ask nicely. Dave Foley: Would you please do a chip count? Phil Gordon: Okay.
Celtic Pride
1996
Mike O'Hara: Hey Scott! I heard Minute Bol is banging your Mom!
Jimmy Flaherty: (playing Invent-A-Drink) This one is called Jimmy's Dick. It's short (sets down shot glass) fat (sets another shot glass to the right) but it fills the gap. (sets down one in the middle)
Suzy: (handing Jimmy a hotdog) ... I toasted it just the way you like. Jimmy Flaherty: How'd you do that? There's no toaster around here. Suzy: I used my curling iron.
Mike O'Hara: (after hearing Marv Albert mention talking about him and Jimmy on the radio) ... Jimmy! Marv Albert's talking about us on the radio... Ohhh I could die now!
Cercle rouge, Le
1970
Le chef de la police: All men are guilty. They're born innocent, but it doesn't last.
Le chef de la police: And don't forget: All guilty. Le Commissaire Mattei: Even policemen? Le chef de la police: All men, Mr Mattei
Vogel: Between shooting two men six feet away and hitting a target at 100 feet there's a certain difference. It's the difference between an amateur and a professional. And, despite all appearances, I'm not professional.
Chain of Fools
2000
Mickey: Who are you? Hitman: I'm the Hitman, who are you? Mickey: I'm the hitman.
Mikey: Excuse me, is this chair being used? Snotty Man: Does it look like it's being used? Mikey: "Does it look like it's being used?" That's a good one. (Mikey picks up the chair and smashes the man with it) Mikey: Now it's being used.
Mikey: You wanna go see a show? We should go see "Cats"... that's a good show!
Chalk
1997
(Suzy asks why there are no students taking music) Amanda Trippley: If you take more than one Art subject, Mr Slatt tells everyone you're gay!
(Slatt, while waiting for a group of inspectors, spots a group of female students on the stairs) Eric Slatt: Are you wearing make-up? Female Student 1: No! Eric Slatt: Well, could you *borrow* some?
Eric Slatt: (to Janet) I see you're wearing foundation. Something wrong with your razor this morning?
Champion
1949
Tommy Haley: This is a celebration. Midge is getting a shot at the title, and he's got a new manager... a blonde.
Tommy Haley: You know what a "Golem" is? I think I knew all the time I was building one.
Connie Kelly: Oh, this rotten business! Midge Kelly: Awww, lay off the business. It's like any other business, only here the blood shows.
Midge Kelly: For the first time in my life, people cheering for me. Were you deaf? Didn't you hear 'em? We're not hitchhiking any more. We're riding!
Changi
2001 (mini)
Curley: Anything you need? Eddie: A Cold beer, half a dozen prawns and a root.
Lieutenant Aso: Japan has won the war. Japan has won!
(The Secret Nine are trying to distract a Japanese soldier.) David: Well, let's see. We've got our English-Japanese dictionary. Eddie: Great. Let's look up, "Hey, you, look over there." That's sure to work.
(Gordon is refusing to salute.) Colonel Smythe: I don't understand it. He won't salute? Rowdy: No, sir. Colonel Smythe: It's no effort, man. Up, down. Up, down. It's done. You could order him to salute. Rowdy: With respect, sir, I think he would opt for insubordination. Colonel Smythe: I could order you to order him to salute. Rowdy: With respect, sir, I think I would opt for insubordination as well.
Channeling Alphonse
2003
Mary-Marla: Black people scare me.
Mary-Francis: Honky pussy is an eccentric weed, similar to the pussy willow. I'm just wondering what honky pussy has to do with us.
Mary-Theresa: You ever stuck anything up there? Mary-Beth: Ew! Like what? Mary-Theresa: Nothing huge or anything. Like a baby carrot, or a highlighter. Mary-Francis: And risk breaking my hymen without a wedding ring? I'd sooner be late to church.
Mother: Excalibur!
Charlie Brown's Christmas Tales
2002 (TV)
Linus Van Pelt: Dear, Santa Claus. How have you been? How is your wife? I am not sure what I want for Christmas this year. Sometimes it is very hard to decide. Perhaps you should send me your catalog.
Sally Brown: This year I'm going to make all my Christmas presents. And guess what I'm getting everybody... paper airplanes!
Sally Brown: I'm addressing Christmas cards. Aren't they cute? Each one has a little bunny on it dressed up like a shepherd. Don't say I'm not religious!
Rerun Van Pelt: So, Mr Fancy Claus, remember me? My name is Rerun. What happened to all the things you were going to bring me for Christmas last year? Kind of forgot, didn't you, huh? I don't suppose you'd care to explain, would you, huh?
Charlie Chan at the Opera
1936
Mr Arnold: I'm stage manager here and this opera's going on tonight even if Frankenstein walks in.
Charlie Chan: Small things sometimes tell large story.
Lee Chan: (Charlie and Number One Son are watching the opera) Wow, Dad! These are great seats; how did you get them? I thought the performance was sold out. Charlie Chan: Man outside walk up and hand to me. Lee Chan: You mean that you accepted tickets from somebody you don't know? Charlie Chan: Honorable father not personally acquainted with Santa Claus, either, but always accept presents.
Charlie Chan in Paris
1935
Yvette Lamartine: Too bad you don't dance, Mr Chan. Charlie Chan: Mud turtle in pond more safe than man on horseback.
Charlie Chan: Perfect case, like perfect doughnut, has hole. Inspector Renard: Ha, I see. Same old pessimist, aren't you? Charlie Chan: Optimist only sees doughnut. Pessimist sees hole.
Charlie Chan: Hasty conclusion like gunpowder. Easy to explode.
Charlie Chan: Grain of sand in eye may hide mountain.
Charlie Chan: Cannot see contents of nut until shell is cracked.
Charlie Chan: Joy in heart more desirable than bullet.
Charlie Chan in The Chinese Cat
1944
Tommy Chan: Pop, I've got a case that will knock your hat off! Charlie Chan: Can remove hat without assistance, thank you.
Charlie Chan: You talk like rooster, who thinks sun come up just to hear him crow.
Tommy Chan: My gosh, Pop, are you a mind reader? Charlie Chan: If mind not too small.
Charlie Chan: You should get married and raise large family. Once you have large family, all other troubles mean nothing.
Charlie Chan: (to Number 3 son, Tommy) Your assistance is about as welcome as water in a sinking ship.
Charlotte Gray
2001
Charlotte Gray: There's something I've been meaning to tell you. Julien Levade: What? Charlotte Gray: My name: Charlotte Gray.
Psychiatrist: Of these three, which in your view is the most important: Faith, hope or love? Charlotte Gray: Hope.
Charlotte Gray: Tomorrow, I'm dirty down there. We'll be together tomorrow when I'm clean, you want me clean right? Renech: If you try to leave. Charlotte Gray: I won't. Renech: I'm not afraid to kill you. Charlotte Gray: Tomorrow. Renech: You will come, I know many people. You understand? Many people! Charlotte Gray: I understand... I understand.
Cheap Seats
2004
(the Boys are about to introduce a spelling bee) Host, Host: Let's bee it up, yo!
Host: So you went to Diablo Valley Junior College? Host: Yeah. Host: What did you study there? Host: Demonic possession, animal sacrifice, business.
Mike Nelson: With any luck at all, Gamera will come down and smite them both!
Crow T. Robot: These guys are Smurfs. Right?
Crow T. Robot: You know, this is just a great idea - a cable show where you make fun of other people's videos. Tom Servo: Shameless! Mike Nelson: It'll never last.
Crow T. Robot: These guys are Smurfs, right?
(1997 Spelling Bee - a guy in a bee costume is consoling a runner-up in the "comfort room") Spelly The Bee: It's OK, kid. Spelly The Bee says, not everyone can win. Someone has got to lose, and that someone just happens to be you.
Cheaper by the Dozen
1950
Repairman: All those kids yours mister, or is this a picnic? Frank Gilbreth: They're all mine and believe me, it's no picnic!
Man on street: Hey Noah, what are you doing with that Ark? Frank Gilbreth: Collecting animals like the good Lord told me brother. All we need now is a jackass. Hop in!
Mailman: All those kids yours? Frank Gilbreth: Oh, these aren't so many. You ought to see the ones we left behind. Mailman: How you ever feed 'em? Frank Gilbreth: Oh, they come cheaper by the dozen.
Frank Gilbreth: No person with inner dignity is ever embarrassed.
Cheaters
2000/I (TV)
Irwin Flickas: It was a multiple choice test. Nobody told me you could only pick one answer!
Reporter: Is it true that one member of the team is a bisexual witch? Lawyer: I cannot comment on that aspect of the investigation at this time.
Dr Gerald Plecki: Benjamin Franklin said: "The only way 3 people can keep a secret is if 2 of them are dead". Let's see if we can prove him wrong.
Cheech & Chong's Next Movie
1980
Cheech: Responsibility is a heavy responsibility!
Cheech (singing) : Mexican Americans / love education / so they go to night school / and take Spanish / and get a B.
(to a girl on the phone) Cheech: You wanna come over to my place? Okay. I'll be here with balls on.
Cheech: Somebody ripped off the thing I ripped off!
Cherry 2000
1987
Sam Treadwell: The man is a psychopathic killer. Ginger: Don't impose your values on me, Sam.
Female Gang Member: Ginger, what are we going to do now? Ginger: You guys want some sandwiches? Male Gang Member: Lester's dead. (points to Lester's hanging body) Ginger: Well, no sandwiches for him. (walks over and sits down by Cherry 2000, opens thermos, hands Cherry 2000 a sandwich) Cherry 2000: (opens sandwich) Pretty.
Cherry, Harry & Raquel!
1970
Raquel: When are you gonna introduce me to Cherry? I bet we have a lot in common. Harry: I don't like women messing around with women. It's un-american.
Harry: (yelling) You Frontier Hippy!
Narrator: Cherry and Raquel. Byproducts of our society, pretty toys to play with, superficial in their makeup but so necessary to our way of life.
Chestnut: Hero of Central Park
2005
Sal: (after finding a puppy) I'm going to call him chestnut because he's little and brown.
Ray: Where he gonna poop? Ray: (sees their new house has a balcony) Sal, a place to poop. Sal: (Laura looks at the girls confused) yeah... urrm...
Ray: (measures dog's height) I think we're feeding him too much. (measures dog again) Now I know we're feeding him too much.
Mary: Don't forget to write us. Ray: But we don't got stamps.
Ray: Do you think we'll ever get adopted, Sal? Sal: Probably not.
Ray: Chess!
Sal: (whispers) No dogs allowed!
Ray: Sal, we're gonna be a family now!
Cheyenne Warrior
1994 (TV)
Kearney: Oh, Otto, me boy, you're so damn inconsiderate. Now I'll have to dig a grave and bury your bloody ass.
Barkley: I remember the first time I found out what was in prairie stew, I turned as green as spinach myself. But then, you know, it starts to grow on you a little bit. Rattlesnake and prairie dog... some damn good eatin'!
Barkley: It's them Pawnee you got to watch out for. They'll kill ya just as soon as look at ya. They'll scalp ya with the right hand and snatch your balls off with the left.
Matthew Carver: Becky, we ain't goin' back. I'd rather die than do that wouldn't you? Rebecca Carver: I don't want to die. I want to get there!
Barkley: You better start using your head. Dumb people just don't make it out here.
Chicken Little
1943
Narrator: Wait a minute! This isn't right! That's not the way it ends in my book! Foxey Loxey: Oh, yeah? Don't believe everything you read, brother!
Foxey Loxey: This is the Voice of Doom speaking! Special bulletin! Flash! The sky is falling! A piece of it just hit you on the head! Now stay calm. Don't get panicky. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
Chicken Little: Listen to me, everybody! I'm your new leader! I'm gonna save your lives! I'm gonna tell you what to do! Cocky Locky: Don't listen to that pipsqueak! The sky isn't falling! Chicken Little: I tell ya it is too falling! Cocky Locky: And I tell you it isn't! Chicken Little: Is too! Cocky Locky: Alright, if the sky is falling why doesn't it hit me in the head? (Foxy Loxy hits Cocky Locky with a piece of wood) Hens: Chicken Little is right! What do we do? Chicken Little, you've got to help us!
Chicks, Man
1999
Nick: Look, I've tried, I've really, really tried, but I just can't sleep with someone that I don't think is pretty.
Rod: Now, park this heap, come on inside and let's spend some quality time over some cheap beer.
Kelly: You're a nice guy to visit, but I wouldn't want to date ya.
Rod: God, to think a roommate of mine can romance the panties off a girl, and not sleep with her. What the hell's this world coming to?
Jack: The last thing I want to do is have sex with someone who's in love with me.
Rod: Dude. You don't have to say a word. Chicks, man.