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Afula Express

1997

Shimon: Women are like rubber bands. You pull them too hard, you get smacked in the face.

David: Even in America they want America.

Shimon: Davy? Why don't your rabbits have kids? David: They're both males. Shimon: Oh. I hope they don't screw in the ass. David: You have the soul of a poet, Shimon.

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Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms

2002

Dion: No one's gonna save you, you gotta save yourself.

Dion: I need that fuckin' hole like I need shit in my head.

Mars: My dad used to say, "Mars, don't ever live in a big city, nobody knows you." But isn't that the best part of it - no one to judge you, no one to tell you how to live your life?

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And Now... Ladies and Gentlemen...

2002

Jane: Et ensuite comme au cinma, vous m'avez embrass comme jamais personne ne m'avait embrass. (...) Valentin: C'est un beau film, d'ailleurs si il repasse ce soir, j'aimerai bien le revoir

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Angels & Insects

1995

Mr William Adamson: Whom can I tell that I should not destroy in the telling.

Matty Crompton: I wish humankind would create such altruistic virtues, but sometimes I think socialism may never be realized.

Edgar Alabaster: I don't like your attitude, sir. I've never liked it. I believe that you sneer in your heart.

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Assault on a Queen

1966

Mark Brittain: Do you always look this good in the morning? Rosa Lucchesi: You will have time to compare; there will be thousands of mornings.

Rosa Lucchesi: If you're so difficult now, Mr Brittain, how can we ever become friends?

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Body Shot

1993

Dwight Frye: If you don't get the message soon, you're gonna be taking pictures of weightlifters for the Big House Gazette!

Simon Devereaux: (offering a drink) What's your addiction?

Danielle Wilde: (after a steamy sex scene) Did you just get out of prison or what?

Mickey Dane: I came out here with a couple of friends - Jack Daniels and Jim Beam.

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Border Caballero

1936

Tex Weaver: Tim, my boy, I'm afraid you're in this up to your neck. Tim Ross: Worse than that, I'm in over my head!

Tim Ross: You can call me Missouri. Doc Shaw: Oh, Missouri! Well, that's my home state. What part are you from? Tim Ross: If you're from Missouri , you don't have to ask any questions about it.

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Breakfast

2000

Bill: I don't know why you're complaining about the cold. You're a Weather Forcaster, you know what the weather's going to be like. You should wear a bigger coat! Female Weather Forcaster: (Sarcasticly) Sorry, Dad!

(Bill Turnbull has complimented Carol on her scarf) Carol Kirkwood: If you've got your knitting needles, Bill, I'd like a hat to go with it!

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A Bucket of Blood

1959

Beatnik Hustler: I saw a statue once. It was called, "the third time Phyllis saw me, she exploded." Beatnik Hustler's Partner: Man, what kind of statue was that? Beatnik Hustler: I dunno, it was made out of driftwood and dipped in fluoric acid. Very wild.

Walter Paisley: I didn't mean to hurt you, Lou. But if you'd have shot me, you'd be moppin' up my blood now.

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Catterick

2004

(repeated line) Chris Palmer: I know!

Ian: Nah, no need, man, no need. It's just a case of keeping her warm.

Tess: You're tickling my turnips, in't ya?

Chris Palmer: Shit! It's that fruitcake! Mark: A dog that shits fruitcake? We're rich!

Sniffer: You're only 47! You're only 47!

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Chelovek s bulvara Kaputsinov

1987

Cowboy: I am not going to talk to this ape with a painted face! Chief of Comanches: I forgive the pale face. He has not heard of Sir Charles Darwin and does not know that ape is our common ancestor.

Jonny First: (to the drunk cowboy) Excuse me, sir, would you be so kind to tell me... No, you wouldn't.

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A Claymation Christmas Celebration

1987 (TV)

(Herb: Let's wassail.

Herb: Cheer Up, Rex! Rex: It's wassail, I know it's wassail.

Rex: after the "Carol of the Bells" segment) Magnificent! Now, who was that conductor again? Herb: I don't know, but his face sure rings a bell.

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Columbo: Publish or Perish

1974 (TV)

Riley Greenleaf: Here, buy yourself a personality.

Riley Greenleaf: You, and this place, deserve to be in the Valley.

Ms McRae: Lieutenant, your evidence! Lieutenant Columbo: Oh! I get preoccupied, I forget my head.

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Dai-bosatsu tge

1966

Toranosuke Shimada: The sword is the soul. Study the soul to know the sword. Evil mind, evil sword.

Toranosuke Shimada: Study the sword to study the soul, you fool... an evil mind makes an evil sword.

Ryunosuke Tsukue: I, Ryunosuke Tsukue, trust only my sword in this world. When I fight, I have no family.

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Dalziel and Pascoe

1996

Det. Supt. Dalziel: Did you find any drugs? DC Seymour: No-one mentioned anything about looking for drugs. Det. Supt. Dalziel: No-one mentioned anything about Barbary apes, but if you'd seen a couple of them fornicating on the kitchen table, likely you'd have mentioned it.

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David el gnomo

1985

Narrator: Look around you. There are many things to see, that some would say could never be. These things I know. It's true and I will tell you so. They are there to see, if you believe. Trolls and wizards and fairy kings, birds that talk and fish that sing. And if your heart is true, then you will find them, too. In every wish and dream and happy home, you will find a kingdom of the Gnomes.

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Davy Crockett and the River Pirates

1956

Mike Fink: I can out-run, out-jump, out-sing, out-swim, out-dance, out-shoot, out-eat, out-drink... Davy Crockett: Out-talk? Mike Fink: Out-talk, out-cuss, out-fight anybody in the whole Mississippi and Ohio Rivers put together!

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Ensign Pulver

1964

Sailor: (Ensign Pulver is smuggling liquor aboard in a case marked "Brassieres") Are bras that heavy, Mister Pulver? Ens. Frank Pulver: Only when they're full.

LaSueur: (the crew goes wild when liberty is announced) What the hell is happening? Doc: Metamorphosis! Vegetables are turning into men!

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Falling Words

1997

Girl At Bar: I'm waiting for my boyfriend. Lance: Hm. Boyfriend. That's an interesting term - boyfriend... Not quite a man, not quite a lover.

Jason: Whatever, Larry. Lance: It's Lance. You know, like the lance you thrust into the heart of a whale? Jason: Okaay, Lance.

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Fearless Tiger

1994

Saalamar: You are not a true Black Pearl anyway. A true Black Pearl doesn't need a gun. But sometimes like to use them, just for fun.

Saalamar's Scientist: Why do I have to do it Saalamar? Saalamar: Because, I say so. It can be done? Saalamar's Scientist: It will not be easy. Saalamar: Just get it done. It's important. It's very important.

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For Love or Money

1993

Doug Ireland: I don't scurry. I take the subway like any other animal.

Doug Ireland: I'm a genie in a suit, just rub me and make a wish.

Doug Ireland: Nothing's impossible Albert. Impossible just takes a couple extra phone calls.

Doug Ireland: Short skirt on a breezy day, a real crowd-pleaser.

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Fury

1936

Joe Wilson: I am legally dead!

Joe Wilson: I'll give them a chance that they didn't give me. They will get a legal trial in a legal courtroom. They will have a legal judge and a legal defense. They will get a legal sentence and a legal death.

Katherine Grant: (to Joe) If those people die, Joe Wilson dies too; you know that, don't you? Wherever you go, whatever you do.

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.hack//Osen kazukai vol. 1

2002 (VG)

(you chose "Talk" to BlackRose after you started a conversation) BlackRose: What, you want to trade? Better not give me any junk!

Aura: (holds book in front of Kite) The power it holds can bring either salvation, or destruction, at the whim of the user.

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Haseena Maan Jaayegi

1999

(about money they have blackmailed from their father) Sonu: Is this enough? Monu: So what if it isn't? We will just put in another coin and get some more.

Gulzarilal: (about Bhootnat) Don't mind him. After reading so many spy-novels he thinks that he is Hitler.

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Herr Meets Hare

1945

Hermann (Fatso) Goering: (a'la Lou Costello, after getting dressed down by "hitler") : I'm a baaaad fluten-boy-gluten.

Hermann (Fatso) Goering: (Bugs has asked Goering directions to Las Vegas) Las Vegas? But there is no Las Vegas in Germany. Bugs Bunny: Goimany?

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Hitman: Contracts

2004 (VG)

47: This room. This bullet. There's a bullet for everyone. And a time. And a place. Yes... maybe this is how it has to be.

47: Inspector, you've obviously learned too much about me. I can't have that. Even in my death.

Dr Otto Ort Meyer: You broke my heart, my son...

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Hong faan kui

1996

Ah Keung: I hope next time we meet, we will be drinking tea.

Ah Keung: If you got the guts, drop the gun.

Ah Keung: Don't let the situation change you. Change it.

Ah Keung: Don't ever make trouble here. Or I'll beat you up each time. Careful, mind the step.

Ah Keung: You don't need diamonds in the bathroom.

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If I Were King

1938

Colette: Epitaph? What's that? Franois Villon: Oh, usually something good about somebody bad... after they're dead.

Rene: Fine time to be writing poetry. Franois Villon: What better time? If a man isn't inspired by his own death, he's beyond inspiration.

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Initial D

1998

Takumi Fujiwara: Road racers have to accept challenges, right?

(Before getting out of the car, Natsuki Mogi calls the Eight-Six Trueno 'cute') Takumi Fujiwara: (to his car) 'Cute', she said... What do you think?

Bunta Fujiwara: Back when I was actively driving I drove Akina even in my dreams.

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Knightmare

1987

(repeated line) Treguard, the Dungeon Master: Oooh, nasty!

Treguard, the Dungeon Master: And just keep telling yourself, it's only a game... Isn't it?

Dungeoneer: Where am I?

(the team are deliberating how to persuade a huntress to help them. They have a hunting horn in their possession) Advisor: You could give her the horn, Daniel.

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Lightning in a Bottle

2004

B.B. King: (referring to a crowd that booed him once after his name was announced) At first, they didn't care nothin' about the blues. They didn't know nothin' about me. The reason they booed 'cause it was blues. When they said "blues", hey, it's like being black twice.

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Like Normal People

1979 (TV)

Virginia Rae Hensler: WahJah!

Robert Meyers Jr.: Mom, Dad. All my life I've wanted to be a writer. This meeting is for me, it's about *me*. Not once have you ever talked about finding me an agent. Robert Meyers: You're normal, you don't need our help... Robert Meyers Jr.: (astonished and angry) Whatever gave you that idea?

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Men of Means

1999

Tommy C.: Who's this? Jerry Trask: My daughter. Tommy C.: Now, ain't that sweet? Here you are about to die and you're reaching for family. Personally, I'd be reaching for something to throw at the guy who killed me, but different strokes, different folks.

Joey: Are there gonna be guns? Rico "Bullet" Burke: Yeah, and we're probably gonna have to use them.

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Mesmer

1994

Franz Anton Mesmer: This young woman is in urgent need of the assistance of Franz Anton Mesmer!

Franz Anton Mesmer: (closing Francisca's eyelids) A little sleep, a little dream.

Franz Anton Mesmer: (with sarcasm) Professor Doctor Stoerk, can I help you at all? I deal with most derangements, sir.

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Noriega: God's Favorite

2000 (TV)

Manuel Noriega: You want some friendly advice? I suggest you kill yourself. Major Giroldi: That is against my religion. Manuel Noriega: (smiles unpleasantly) Then give me your weapon, and place yourself in God's hands...

Major Giroldi: With God and the gringos on our side, how can we fail?

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Not Without My Daughter

1991

Moody: We're not going home. We're staying here. I want us to live in Iran.

Betty Mahmoody: (after being yelled at by Moody's family) No! Goddamn you all!

Betty Mahmoody: (Betty escapes from Moody into town after a violent outburst) Nicole, he's going to kill me!

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Palookaville

1995

Russ: I'm not talking about a life of crime, just a momentary shift in lifestyle.

Russ: The thief gets the benefit of the doubt. Most crooks in this country use cap guns.

Russ: Why don't I take you to California. You can have fresh squeezed orange juice every day. If you've got a back yard there, you've got fresh fruit.

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Rasputin: The Devil in the Flesh

2002 (TV)

Grigori Rasputin: (passionately) Sin is given so that we may repent, and repentance brings joy to the soul and strength to the body, understand? You want me to show you what sin is? Next week Lent ends. Come to me after having taken Holy Communion, when there will be heaven in your soul... then I will show you what sin is.

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A Scanner Darkly

2006

(from trailer) Luckman: What if they come in through the bathroom window like in that infamous Beatles song?

(from trailer) Fred: What does a scanner see?

(from trailer) Fred: Whatever it is that's watching... it isn't human.

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Soldier of Fortune, Inc.

1997

Benny Ray Riddle: There's nothing like the smell of cordite in the morning to make a man appreciate his right to bear arms.

Margo: You know men are good at reading maps and dealing with the concept that an inch can represent a mile.

Benny Ray: Sir, I can field strip this weapon with my tongue, and I can shoot bullets with my teeth.

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Some of My Best Friends

2001

Vern: Warren, I'm sitting here reading "Peanuts" and it just occurred to me, do you think Shroeder could be gay? Warren: What? Vern: Well, think about it, you know. Everyone's outside playing baseball. He's inside playing the piano. Lucy's throwing herself at him like a tart. He could care less. And if I'm not mistaken, he colors his hair. . .

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Something for the Boys

1944

Col Jefferson Calhoun: It's still a grand old place, must be at least a hundred and twenty-five years old. Harry Hart: Oh come now, Colonel, it couldn't get this old in a hundred and twenty-five years!

Chiquita Hart: What a letdown. I think I'm going to be a Southern belle and I get sold down the river.

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Steve Martin: Comedy Is Not Pretty

1980 (TV)

Steve Martin: (as Socrates) It was always: "Socrates, what is truth? Socrates, what is the nature of the good? Socrates, what should I order? Socrates, what are you having?" And not once did anyone ever say: "Socrates, hemlock is poison!"

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Sunes sommar

1993

(Rudolf is drinking coffee when a couple of basketball players enter) Rudolf Andersson: The ordinary personal is back... Basketspelaren: All I want is coffee... and one of those, bye the way, what do you call them? (Pointing at a pile of chocolate balls.) Rudolf Andersson: We call them ni--... nigg... wienerbrd.

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The 63rd Annual Academy Awards

1991 (TV)

(following the film tribute sequence to Myrna Loy) Anjelica Huston: Here from her apartment in New York, its Miss Loy. Congratulations Myrna! (Rapturous Applause) Herself - Honorary Award Recipient: You've made me very happy, thank you very much.

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The 68th Annual Academy Awards

1996 (TV)

(accepting his Best Director award) Mel Gibson: Now that I'm a bona fide director with a golden boy, what I really want to do is act.

Kevin Spacey: Wherever the real Keyser Soze is, he's going to get gloriously drunk tonight!

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The Bank

2001

(Explaining to the bank's board why he wants to protect the shareholders.) Simon: They are our people. They are our "society". The public can take care of themselves.

Simon O'Reilly: I'm like God, with a better suit.

Jim Doyle: I just hate banks.

Simon O'Reilly: The Bomb ended the War.

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The Barber Shop

1933

Customer: What's the dog doing, there? Cornelius O'Hare: Oh, it's a very funny thing. The other day a man was in here and I was shaving him. The razor skipped, and I cut his ear off. Ever since then, he's been hanging around here for a... (shoos dog) Cornelius O'Hare: G'way, g'way, g'way!

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The Boss' Wife

1986

Joel Keefer: Just cut it out, ok? Carlos Delgado: Why? Joel Keefer: I mean it. There's nothing going on here, ok? Carlos Delgado: (pointing at a square of butter that Louise pressed against her nipple and put on the table for Joel and Carlos to look at) Nothing going on? What do you think that is? Graumann's Chinese tit?

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The Commish

1991

(Cyd and Tony are in a tattoo parlor) Tony: A starburst would look perfect on you. Cyd: Thanks, but I think one is enough. (Long pause) Cyd: It's on my shoulder, okay? Tony: Did I ask? Cyd: In a manner of speaking.

Ricky Caruso: I got women lining up to me like a bakery. I'll admit it, I have no shame.

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The Cowboy Way

1994

Waiter: How would you like your steaks cooked? Pepper: Oh, just knock its horns off, wipe its nasty ass, and chunk it right here on this plate.

Sonny: It's your call, stubby.

Pepper: If it's got hair, I can ride it. If it's got a beat, I can dance to it.

Boy on Train: Look, Mom!... Cowboys!

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The Daughters of Joshua Cabe Return

1975 (TV)

Bitteroot: One thing is for sure: if the army's around, trouble can't be far off.

Joshua Cabe: The word is respect. You don't guns or hate 'em. You start respecting a gun in what it is, what it can do, why you might use it. You learn all that and more, and then you learn to shoot one.

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The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds

1972

Ruth: Goodnight, Betty the Loon.

Beatrice: I'm not exactly happy about you discussing testicles with this Chris Burns character!

Beatrice: Matilda, go fetch your sister before she gets pregnant.

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The End

1978

Wendell Sonny Lawson: I'm talking about dying. Marty Lieberman: What do you mean? Wendell Sonny Lawson: I mean lying in the ground with dirt on your face and holding your breath forever.

Wendell Sonny Lawson: (trying to drown) I want to live. I want to live.

Wendell Sonny Lawson: Fifty percent, Lord! I'm talking gross!

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The Funhouse

1981

Funhouse: (discovers that the Monster - who also turns out to be his son - has killed Madame Zena after paying her for sex... because she wouldn't give him a refund) You paid Madame Zena a hundred dollars for this? You crazy fool, I could have gotten you one of them tent-girls for fifteen! Well, you never were much for knowing the value of cash, were you?

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The Grimleys

1997 (TV)

(Doug Digby's class are lined up in the gym, waiting for PE) Doug Digby: You're a shower. What are you? All: (chorus) A shower, sir. Doug Digby: What shall I do with a shower? Gordon Grimley: 'Ave a wank in it, sir! Doug Digby: (sniggers)

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The Land Before Time IV: Journey Through the Mists

1996 (V)

Spike: (Spike's first words) Dah... dah... Ducky!

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The Late Great Planet Earth

1979

Narrator: I believe that what we're seeing in the world today is the fulfillment of these ancient prophecies written between 2,000 and 3,500 years ago. As the world staggers from one crisis to another, I believe that we're racing on a countdown to the end of history as we know it.

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The Mating Season

1951

Mr Paget: It's the first of July, Mrs McNulty. Ellen McNulty: Already? Gee, June flied in a hurry. Isn't it? Mr Paget: So did May and April. The bank can't wait any longer.

Val McNulty: Junior Kalinger? Oh, he's OK. Ellen McNulty: Oh, go on, I've stepped on better things.

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The New Tic Tac Dough

1978

(opening spiel) Charlie O'Donnell: From Hollywood, it's everybody's game of stategy, knowledge, and fun! It's "TIC TAC DOUGH"! And now, here is the host of our show, WINK MARTINDALE!

(the first episode on CBS, July 3, 1978) Wink Martindale: This could be the best game show I've come across!

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The Reckoning

2003

Lord De Guise: Do you really believe that your God has the power to protect you? Nicholas: No. Nor the inclination. Lord De Guise: Ah. Then what kind of God is that? Nicholas: The kind who allows innocent children to be murdered.

Lord De Guise: You want to know why... I did what I did? Because I wanted to... and because... I could.

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Too Late for Tears

1949

Danny Fuller: Don't ever change, Tiger. I don't think I'd like you with a heart.

Danny Fuller: You haven't anything to hide, have you? (Jane sits down and crosses her legs) No, I can see you haven't.

Jane Palmer: What do I call you besides stupid? Danny Fuller: Stupid will do if you don't bruise easily.

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Trick or Treat

1986

Reverend Aaron Gilstom: ... Demonic Beasts. Whatever happened to the good old simple love song? "I love you." Thats, that's what good words use. Nowadays they have to write some sickness. It's just absoultley sick and bizarre, and I'm going to do my upmost best to try and stop it now." Talk show host: Anything you're like to add in conclusion? Reverend Aaron Gilstom: These evil people have just got to be stopped.

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Twin Falls Idaho

1999

Blake Falls: Maybe I'll call you... when I'm single.

Blake: The story of me is over. Penny: In time, every sad ending will become happy. Blake: (voice over) The sad ending is only because the author stops telling the story. But it still goes on. It's just untold.

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Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3

1995 (VG)

(first lines) Narrator: You have been chose to represent Earth in Mortal Kombat. Be warned. Although your souls are protected against Shao Kahn's evil: Your lives are not. I cannot interfere any longer as your Earth is now ruled by the Outworld Gods. These are the words of Rayden.

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