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Movie Quotes - 82

Film dialogue

Bandit King of Texas

1949

Nugget Clark: They that say confession if good for the soul overlook the load it takes off the chest.

Nugget Clark: You seem uncommon lucky in comin' on to other folks's jewelry - leastwise so you always say. Dan McCabe: You're a fine jeweler, Nugget, but someday if you keep talkin' so much, I'm abt to forget that. Nugget Clark: Hmmph. I guess the only way for me to keep from swallowing a wasp is to keep my mouth shut, huh?

Thundarr the Barbarian

1980

(Opening title narration) Narrator: The year, 1994. From out of space, comes a runaway planet, hurtling between the Earth and the moon, unleashing cosmic destruction. Man's civilization is cast in ruin. Two thousand years later, Earth is reborn. A strange new world rises from the old. A world of savagery, super-science, and sorcery. But one man bursts his bonds to fight for justice. With his companions, Ookla the Mok and Princess Ariel, he pits his strength, his courage, and his fabulous Sunsword, against the forces of evil. He is Thundarr, the Barbarian!

Thunder Road

1958

Lucas Doolin: (talking on pay telephone) Hello, Kogan?... Doolin. Carl Kogan: What's on your mind, Mr Doolin? Lucas Doolin: You. You're on my mind. You finally made the big mistake tonight, Kogan. Niles Penland was a mistake... Jethro Moultrie and Williams - that was a mistake, that was a big mistake, a bad mistake, but tonight you made the *big* mistake. You put your dirty, fat hands on my kid brother. I swore I'd *kill* anybody who tried to make him a whisky runner. I'm on my way into Memphis right now, and when I get there you're gonna find out that I meant *exactly* what I said.

Lucas Doolin: (to a noisy customer, about the nightclub's singer) She's trying to make a living. If you want to bray, go find yourself a barnyard.

Thunderhoof

1948

(on Thunderhoof) Scotty Mason: That beautiful head, with fire in his eyes... his stride must be twenty feet long, and when he runs his hooves sound like thunder.

Scotty Mason: He's dead. Dead drunk. He's young and wild, but he'll grow out of it, just like you did.

Scotty Mason: There's a story they tell that whoever catches him gets what's coming to him, his judgment right here on earth.

Scotty Mason: Look at Thunderhoof, Marguerita. He's the beginning of our ranch. Ten days from now, we'll be under our own roof, your own house.

The Kid: You'll find yourself married to an old man. But I reckon you'd rather herd horses.

Scotty Mason: He wasn't a bad kid. Just young, wild. He never grew up because I wouldn't let him.

Thunderpants

2002

Johnson J. Johnson: Will you help us, slugger?

Gen Ed Sheppard: You're a fruit, son.

Alan A. Allen: I am an inventor, Patrick. An inventor of machines.

Patrick Smash: I cannot control my ass.

Gen Ed Sheppard: Who gave you ladies permission to blubber? Gen Ed Sheppard: Now let's blow ass!

Music School Student: (Only line) Until now, sir!

Gen Ed Sheppard: You've got a heart of gold. You've got the constitution of an ox. And you've got pants... of thunder.

Placido P. Placeedo: You are singing the high bit... with your ass?

Alan A. Allen: Thunderpants!

Patrick Smash: All right, then. (repeated line)

Patrick Smash: It was the best day of my life... ever. (repeated line)

Thursday

1998

Casey: Do you know what they did in Roman times to a guest who betrayed the honor of his host? They would cut off his dick and nail it to the fucking gate!

Casey: There's a .45 in the fridge, and you grab a FUCKING frying pan!

Cop: Picard or Kirk? Nick: No question... Kirk. Cop: Hell yeah. You gotta respect a man who can fuck a green bitch and destroy an entire civilization in sixty minutes.

Dallas: I went on as a day player. On this porn film in LA. Just to see what it was like. Right? So I spend five hours with this guy ramming his dick up my ass and these two women licking my clit.

Time Changer

2002

Eddie Rodriguez: Hey! Preacher man got himself some new threads! Russell Carlisle: Threads? Eddie Rodriguez: You know, clothes, rags, ropa!

Michelle Bain: I believe that secular entertainment is one of the biggest tools that Satan uses to mislead people.

Russell Carlisle: Stop the movie! You must stop this movie! The man on the screen just blasphemed the name of the lord! There must be some mistake! You must stop this movie! This is an abomination!

Tin Men

1987

Bill Babowsky: Hey, asshole! Here's the ultimate fuck you! I just poked your wife! Ernest Tilley: What the hell are you talking about? Bill Babowsky: She's lying in my bed right now with a big smile on her face. Ernest Tilley: Well that's fine by me pal! She's a pain in the ass! An albatross around my neck! You're welcome to her. Keep her, and may you both rot in Hell!

Bill Babowsky: Are you a Lunatic! Are your tellin' me you didn't see me backin' out of this lot! There's a red light there for Christ's sake! You're supposed to stop!

Sam: 'Bonanza' is not an accurate depiction of the west.

Sam: You notice Little Joe never says "Hey Pa, I'm gonna go into town to get a piece of ass"?

Tiny Toon Adventures: Night Ghoulery

1995 (TV)

Babs Bunny: Behind this curtain lies the scariest picture known to man. It has caused thousands to have horrifying nightmares. (reveals picture) It's my third grade yearbook photo! AHHHH!

(Plucky arrives at Montana Max's house. The house is in flames) Plucky Duck: (cringes) Either Monty made a deal with the devil, or Shannen Doherty's spending the night.

Montana Max: (falling into a hole that leads to hell) You'll pay for this, you cheap shyster! Plucky Duck: "Cheap?" Wait 'til you get my bill!

Tom Hits His Head

2003

Thomas Andrew Putnam: September 11th happens and I'm in absolutely no condition to deal with it. I wake my wife up in the middle of the night. I smell poison gas. I hear an airplane crashing. There's someone speaking Arabic in our backyard. I start buying guns. I buy a gas mask, I buy a hasmat suit. I'm in the process of buying a geiger counter, when our Mastercard bill arrives... I'm in trouble.

Tom Horn

1980

Glendolene Kimmel: Someday, you're going to have to pay for your way of life, Tom. You're a bad man and I know it. And if I let you talk me out of it, I'll be lost forever. So my adventures in this life won't mean anything because you will have seduced my soul... and drawn me into your world. Goodbye, Tom.

Tom Horn: Keep your nerve Sam, 'cause I'm gonna keep mine.

U.S. Marshal Joe Belle: Do you know who I am? Tom Horn: No. U.S. Marshal Joe Belle: What you were in the Southwest, I was in the Northwest. Tom Horn: I was mostly out of work.

Tom Horn: Listen, why are you hangin' around with me? Glendolene Kimmel: Because you are a link to the Old West. Tom Horn: If you really knew how dirty and raggedy-assed the Old West was, you wouldn't want any part of it.

Tom Horn: (referring to the witnesses at his hanging) Sam, I never did see such a pasty-faced bunch of marshals.

Tomorrow We Diet!

1951

Goofy: Hello, handsome. Goofy's reflection: Hello, fat. Goofy: Who are you calling fat? Goofy's reflection: Who? You. Goofy: Why, I'm as fit as a fiddle. Goofy's reflection: A bass fiddle.

Goofy: I was an all around athlete. Goofy's reflection: That's right, only now you're just all round.

Goofy's reflection: Get thee behind me, salami.

Goofy's reflection: Eat, drink and be merry, and tomorrow we diet.

Tomorrow's Bacon

2001

Johnson Daggett: Why don't you take another Xanax or whatver the hell it is you function on this month and shut your Godamn mouth. Claire Daggett: You trying to scare me? Oh, I see. Tampering with the passenger side airbag again? Johnson Daggett: Not a bad idea.

Claire Daggett: Magellan here seems unable to get us back on the highway.

Tong sang ng foo

1978

Man in Kung Fu School: You just came here to pick a fight! For what reason? What for? Tien: No reason... Man in Kung Fu School: Where are you from? Tien: From a far place... all the way from HELL!

Tien: So without any charge, I shall improve your kung-fu!

Tien: As I just taught your students, I shall teach you too if you like!

Tien: Just get out of my sight!

Tien: Your method of instruction is lousy, so I am here... to correct it. : Throws a scroll on the wall: Man at Kung Fu School: (reading the scroll) A master... at correcting bad kung fu?

Tony Rome

1967

(Ann explains the problem of being formerly married) Ann: We can't claim to be the town virgins and can't afford to be the town tramps.

Tony: This isn't a family. It's just a bunch of people living at the same address.

Ralph Turpin, Hotel House Detective: The day they squeeze something out of Tony is the day Georgia elects a colored governor.

Ann: People change. They don't always turn out the way you expect. Tony: I know. You should see my baby pictures.

Top of the World

1997/I

(In the casino near the slot machine) Ginger: What are you starin' at? Ray Mercer: Honey, where I'd just been you get a lot of trouble for staring. What's your name? Ginger: Ginger. Ray Mercer: Ginger, do me a favour, will you? I'm not allowed to gamble. So all you have to do is just walk up, put the two Twenties in the machine and pull that lever. Whatever we win we'll make fifty fifty. What do you say? Ginger: Oh, no! Ray Mercer: Come on. You're my lucky star!

Torch Singer

1933

Mimi Benton: Well, I'll tell you what happened to her. While you were touring China, she went through hell. It's a nice place, you must go there someday.

Michael Gardner: You've changed all right! You're selfish, hard. Mimi Benton: Sure I am, just like glass. So hard, nothing'll cut it but diamonds. Come around some day with a fistful. Maybe we can get together.

Total Eclipse

1995

Arthur Rimbaud: I have no intention of taking a job. My work is going far too well -- I can't afford to waste time earning money.

Arthur Rimbaud: The only unbearable thing is that nothing is unbearable.

Arthur Rimbaud: Do you love me? Paul Verlaine: What? Arthur Rimbaud: Do you love me? Paul Verlaine: Yes... Arthur Rimbaud: Then put your hand on the table. Paul Verlaine: What? Arthur Rimbaud: Put your hand on the table.

Total Recall 2070

1999 (TV)

James Calley: The instinct to avenge a partner's death is something you don't see anymore. David Hume: Yeah, I can see how that would get lost when you live your life under a surveillance camera. James Calley: You're not suggesting the attempts to make this a safer and more perfect world have actually resulted in a loss of individual freedom, are you?

James Calley: Before you go. (pauses) The 12mm that killed the android? David Hume: The out-of-policy 12mm? James Calley: You have no knowledge of what happened to it? David Hume: I have no knowledge. (turns and leaves) Martin Ehrenthal: (seeing gun on thermal scan) We can stop him before he leaves the building if you want. James Calley: No. Let him hang onto the gun for the moment. I'm almost more interested in what he plans on doing with it then where it came from.

Town & Country

2001

Porter: I understand that you were an intimate of Hemingway's. Eugenie's Father: Intimate? Is that some kind of homo thing?

Eugenie: Mother, I think you really have a problem. Eugenie's Mother: You're damned right I have a problem. He won't do it to me anymore. Yes, his limp carrot is the root of all my problems. All my doctors tell me so. Every motherfucking one of them. (Raises glass) Fucking. Going upstairs.

Townies

1999

The Licker: Why don't you go down to the grocery store and sit in the dairy section? That way everyone will know YOU are the head cheese!

The Clapper: Don't make me clap!

The Licker: The Captain of America would not approve!

Billy: Stay the fuck away from the girl, or else I'll beat you with my nut sack!

Dickie: Beer makes you drunk. I drank beer once, with my friend Connie. I fell down and scraped my knee.

Dickie: Connie? Do ya like me? Crazy Connie: Why, sure I do! Dickie, you're my buddy! Dickie: NO! I mean... Do you LIKE me?

The Licker: You're interrupting my reading enjoyment! I'm going elsewhere!

Dickie: I wanna do it with ya, Connie! I wanna do it with ya BAD!

Townies

1996

Kathy: I don't know where I'd be without the church... Carrie: Divorced and happy?

Carrie: Remember the good old days, when you could just kill your parents and take their land?

Denise: Ryan, you are not going to believe this. We have no luck at all! Ryan: Does this have anything to do with the stick turning pink?

(After Carrie gets Curt a puppy to replace his dead dog) Curt: How would you like it if your dad died and I went out and got you another old alcoholic?!

Townies

2004

(from the trailer) Reginald: Get to work, Man!

Jake: So, you like pepperoni pizza? Lisa: Yep. Jake: ... pepperoni...

Lisa: My other boyfriends would have just banged me and locked me in the bathroom. Jake: Other boyfriends?

Reginald: I would like it if you'd clean this up. Rob: Yep. Reginald: I don't hear mopping!

Trail of the Pink Panther

1982

(to Dreyfus who comes in after Clouseau sets his office on fire) Insp. Jacques Clouseau: Ah, hello! Nice weather we are having...

Deputy Comissioner Lasorde: Read this most carefully and give me your opinion. Insp. Jacques Clouseau: I will read my opinion and give you yours most carefully.

(In disguise) Insp. Jacques Clouseau: I am Andr Botot, mustard salesman from Dijon.

Transformers

2004 (VG)

Megatron: I would have waited an eternity for this, it's over Prime.

Optimus Prime: Unicron must be stopped. No matter the cost.

Unicron: Destiny, you can not destroy my destiny.

Optimus Prime: One shall stand, one shall fall. Megatron: Why throw away your life so recklessly? Optimus Prime: That's a question you should ask *yourself*, Megatron.

Transylvania 6-5000

1963

Count Bloodcount: I am a vampire. Bugs Bunny: Oh, yeah? Well, Abracadabra, I'm an umpire. (suddenly is wearing umpire clothes) Count Bloodcount: Hocus Pocus, I'm a bat. (turns into a bat) Bugs Bunny: I can be a bat, too. Hocus Pocus. (turns into a baseball bat) Count Bloodcount: (putting on glasses) You wouldn't hurt a bat with glasses, would you? (Bat hits vampire)

Trapper John, M.D.

1979

Doctor "Trapper John" McIntyre: Well, it's the money that counts, not the thought.

(As a very attractive, young female nurse walks past.) Doctor "Trapper John" McIntyre: That's the kind of thing that makes me wish I was 20 years younger. Doctor. George Alonzo "Gonzo" Gates: Me, too. (Trapper gives Gonzo an odd look.) I'd be 7 years old and these things wouldn't bother me.

Trial by Jury

1994

Tommy Vesey: The name of the game, Valerie, is not who dies but who dies first. That'll be your boy.

Rusty Pirone: I'm the guy who falls into a sewer and comes out with his pants pressed.

Valerie Alston: You live your life, believing in things like justice and the law. Then someone grabs you off the street in broad daylight. Walks right past the police and tells you that he'll reach out from beyond the grave and kill your son. You don't think about right or wrong, you only think about survival. You do what you have to do.

Tribes

1970 (TV)

DePayster: You hear about those boys in 'Nam, smokin' marijuana? Any of my boys do that, I'll kill 'em! Drake: What? What are you talking about, you don't have any "boys." DePayster: Aw, I'll kill 'em anyway.

DePayster: What kind of flower are you, boy? Are you a sweet pea, boy? Are you a sweet pea?

Tribulation 99: Alien Anomalies Under America

1992

Narrator: US president Ronald Reagan champions a compassionate campaign to resupply the freedom fighters with machine guns, C-4 plastic explosives, and other humanitarian weapons that they so desperately need in their struggle against literacy, teachers, health clinics and agricultural co-operatives.

(regarding the longevity of Fidel Castro) Narrator: After thirty-three failed assassination attempts, entailing two thousand people, and fifty million dollars; they are horrified to realize that you can't kill something that isn't alive.

Trilogy of Terror

1975 (TV)

Amelia: This can't be happening! This can't be happening!

Amelia: (on the phone, threatened by a supernaturally animated Zuni hunting fetish doll) Operator, get me the police! I DON'T KNOW where I'm located, just get me the police, there's a... there's a... just get me the police, PLEASE?

(last lines) Amelia: This is Amelia, mom. I'm sorry I acted the way I did. I think we should spend the evening together, just the way we planned. It's kind of late though. Why don't you come by my place and we'll go from here? No, I'm all right! Good. I'll be waiting for you.

Triplecross

1995 (TV)

Teddy: "Throughout history all the best wars were won on paper before the first shot was even fired."

Teddy: Y'know throughout history all the great wars were won on paper before the first shot was ever fired, now take Robert E Lee; a master stratergist...

Julia: "If you're the least bit attractive everyone thinks you're really stupid."

Jimmy-Ray: "When you've been inside you'd fuck a rattlesnake if you could get someone to hold it's mouth open long enough."

Biggs: Who gives a shit? You're in check, it's your move.

Teddy: Just trying to give you an education Biggs. Now in order to fulfill his victory at Fredrichsberg he'd anticipated his every move... so as to apply the appropriate counter move, such as...

Teddy: Check mate!

Trippin'

1999

LaDomal: We don't let them lil girl scouts sell them cookies unless we get a cut of that shit you bitch ass nigga!

LaDomal: Looking like you just got off the Amistad party boat! Z-Boy: Sinque, give us free! Fish: Aye, let me borrow a screw? Z-Boy: I just screwed your mamma LaDomal: I know why your car dont work, lil black boy? Fish: Why?

LaDomal: Cause every time you get out the car, lil nigga, the oil like come on.

Kenyatta: Boy, you betta say it with some convension.

Trixie

2000

Service Guy: You wanna hear a good joke? Okay, "Knock, Knock." Trixie: Come In. Is that it?!

Trixie: What a load of lame duck! Do who hear yourself when you speak?! Do you hear what you are saying?!

Kirk Stans: (Referring to sparse audience for his casino act) I left more people than this in bed!

Trixie: Even if I am between a rock and the deep blue sea, I am gonna fix this thing.

Trixie: It's brains, not bullets.

Trixie: She's dead now. She's never gonna be the same again.

Senator Avery: And when you get tired of being stupid in public, then we'll talk!

Trono di fuoco, Il

1970

Lord George Jeffreys: You are all condemned, for crimes against king and kingdom, to hang... to dangle until you are but dead, to be then cut down still alive, to have your entrails drawn out and thrust into your own mouths, to be further hanged, then quartered like the carcasses of beef you are. You number five hundred, but even if you were five thousand, the execution of this sentence would be just before God Almighty... and may He have mercy upon your souls.

Trouble Man

1972

Billy Chi, Chalky's Goon: Chalky sent me to say he wanted to see you on some business, Mr T. Mr T: You go tell Chalky he can kiss my black ass.

Sam: Mah bruthah, he's in the slammer... can't nobody to go bond fo' him. He skipped one time, Mr T. Mr T: That son of a bitch skipped twice. Don't jive me, Sam. Sam: Dat's why I came t'you, Mr T. He wouldn't run on you. Mr T: He run on me, I'd feed him his ass in pieces.

Pete: (on phone) This is Pete Cockrell. I want to talk to Chalky. Mr T: This is T. Chalky's dead - now I'm coming to get your ass!

Mr T: What's happenin', Willy? Willy: Don't ask. Also don't have daughters who marry schmuck husbands.

Trucks

1997 (TV)

June: Remind me, what am I doing here? Brad: I know this isn't the French Riviera, honey. June: How would I know, no-one ever takes me there. Ray: You the Yeagers? June: Used to be, you're meeting the budget version.

Ray: Get back inside! Trucker Bob: No way. Ray: (he points the gun at him) Now! Trucker Bob: You're bluffin', and I know it.

Logan: Dad, it's too quiet here.

Trucker Bob: I got a little present for ya!

Trucker Pete: My truck, that is my truck you bastard!

Jack: There was no-one driving, no-one. Thad: There had to be someone driving with their head down, trucks don't drive by themselves!

George: They're talking to each other!

True Colors

1991

Tim Gerrity: My father used to say that friendship is like the morning dew. Sometimes it settles on rose petals... sometimes it settles on dogshit.

Peter Burton: They say great men are embraced by thousands of strangers. I wanna be great.

Tim Gerrity: We may not always get what we want. We may not always get what we need. Just so's we don't get what we deserve!

True Crime

1999

Alan Mann: Stop fucking Bob's wife. He doesn't like it.

Steve Everett: I'll have a Virgin Mary... heavy on the Virgin.

Steve Everett: When my nose tells me something stinks, I gotta have faith in it.

Alan Mann: Look, if he comes to me for your ass, I'm going to have to give it to him. Then you'll just be a hole, with no ass around it.

Steve Everett: You're right, pal. Santa Claus rides alone.

Steve Everett: Mister Beachum... Frankly I don't give a rat's ass about Jesus Christ and I don't care about justice in this world, or the next.

Alan Mann: (to Steve) You wanna know what my opinion is about reporters who have hunches? I CAN'T FART LOUD ENOUGH TO EXPRESS MY OPINION!!!

Steve Everett: (driving to the Governor's mansion, to try and get a last-minute reprieve for a condemned man) We go fast!

True Love

1989/I

Michael: (posing for a photo) Everyone say, "Wedding nightmare"!

Matre d': We often color the potatoes to match the colors of the wedding. Donna: Oh, yeah? Matre d': But with rainbow, you can go with anything. Might I suggest a pale blue? Michael: Wait a minute, wait a minute - did you say blue mashed potatoes? Matre d': Yes. Michael: No, we're not having blue mashed potatoes at this wedding. Donna: What kind of blue? Matre d': Sort of a sky blue. Michael: Get out of here! I'm not eating blue food.

Donna: I don't know. You know, sometimes he does things like last night and I just want to fucking kill him. And then I see him.

A Tuna Christmas

1996 (TV)

(Arles is reading the news over the radio) Arles Struvie: In international news today, Christmas violence flares, leaving thousands dead in Mag... Mada... Madg... Hell, I can't even pronounce the name of the place. Thurston Wheelis: Must be way off. Arles Struvie: Well folks, they must be foreigners, so never mind!

Vera Carp: (to her unseen maid) Lupe, darling, do you know where are el freezer bags, por favor?

Tune in Tomorrow...

1990

Pedro Carmichael: Life is a shitstorm, and when it's raining shit the best umbrella is art.

Pedro Carmichael: Eat -- or be eaten!

Pedro Carmichael: I feel reality impacting here!

Pedro Carmichael: Okay, you've gone belly up in Shit's Creek. You need a paddle real bad. What do you reach for? ART! That's what I'm talking about. The very apex of your art! I want to hear your sinews crack and strain. I want your souls... to enter those microphones and emerge, like ghosts, in the homes of our listeners. There's an army of them out there, groping blindly, toiling in the darkness, waiting... For what? For YOU! For your incandescent, brilliant, palpitating talent to light up their miserable, impoverished, dull, and worthless lives. (pause) Okay gang, take five, and then we'll hit it.

Turist mer Uzay Yolunda

1973

Mr.Spak: Kaptan Kirk.Yllk iznimi alp gemiden ayrlabilir miyim? Kaptan Kirk: Sizi ilk kez sinirli gryorum Mr.Spak.

Jenice: ok akacsnz Mr.Turist. Turist mer: Evet ok akacymdr.Eskiden takacydm.imdi akaclk yapyorum. Jenice: Ne diyorsunuz anlamyorum Mr.Turist Turist mer: Sende ok fiyakacsn diyorum

Turist mer: Senin ieklerden birisi bym de el pyo allah balasn Jenice: O iek deil.Tayfa Green. Turist mer: Giren kan bover.

Turist mer: gle gle mistr spak sivri kulak.biraz da bu tarafa bak kabakulak.elimi veriyim de fala bak Mr.Spak: Efendim? Turist mer: Zzt.

Mr.Spak: Kompiter cevap verin.Zzt ne demek?

Turk 182!

1985

Det. Ryan: (trying to find out who's behind Turk 182) Just give us the names and addresses of everyone involved. Terry Lynch: Everyone? Det. Ryan: Everyone involved. Terry Lynch: There's the Penguin, the Riddler, Catwoman, Darth Vader, Jack the Ripper, Atila the Hun...

Mayor Tyler: If I see one more of this Turk messages that is bigger than a postage stamp, you are going to spend the rest of your career - I swear before God - pounding the beat in the South Bronx! Is that clear, Ryan?

Jimmy Lynch: My brother ain't no drunk. He's my blood.

TV Funhouse

2000

Doug: Lots of great things have come from the jungle, like monkey hand ashtrays, elephant leg umbrella holders, and jazz.

Doug: I got my cowboy hat on! Chickie: Good! Why don't you shove it up your ass? Hojo: Boy, that was harsh!

Larry: Once again my ass has been kicked by the holiest of holidays. Hojo: Yeah thanks, baby Jesus. Whiskers: Thanks, baby New Years. Hank: I hate fucking babys.

TV4 sporten special: Markus Nslund

2003 (TV)

Marc Crawford: He's probably on television as much as the prime minister. And he's probably... definitely more popular!

Henrik Sedin: His comments are hilarious sometimes. (Nslund is looking at the Sedin twins) Markus Nslund: I don't know which one is which...

Markus Nslund: A little cottage cheese here, stocked up for a year.

Markus Nslund: Little bit hard having a Swedish TV team on my back.

Markus Nslund: The exhausting part of these trips is that you're mostly baby-sitting a 28 year old baby, Todd here. It's things like these you have to live with. (later...) Reporter: Markus said something about... travelling is like taking care of a 28 year old baby. Todd Bertuzzi: (laughs) That's what he said? That's brutal!

Twilight Zone: The Movie

1983

Anthony: Th-th-th-that's all, Ethel!

Car Passenger: Hey... you wanna see something really scary?

Ambulance Driver: So, you had a pretty big scare up there, huh? John Valentine: Oh yeah! Ambulance Driver: You wanna see something really scary?

Bill Connor: Arab? What's that? Just a nigger wrapped up in a sheet.

Twin Peaks

1990 (TV)

Cooper: Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret: every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it; don't wait for it; just let it happen. It could be a new shirt in a men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black, coffee.

Harry Truman: Do you think they spotted us? Cooper: Give me a donut.

Two Heads Are Better Than None

2000 (TV)

Kel Kimble: (singing) 12 bottles of orange soda on the wall! Twelve bottles of orange soda! Take one down, pass it around! ELEVEN BOTTLES OF ORANGE SODDDDAAAAA ON THE WAAAAAAAALLLL! Awe... Kenan Rockmore: What, that's it? Kel Kimble: What? Kenan Rockmore: You're just gonna stop at eleven? Kel Kimble: Yeah! Kenan Rockmore: You mean we had to sit through 'A Million Bottles of Orange Soda on the Wall' and you're just gonna stop at eleven? You're not even gonna finish? Kel Kimble: Yeah, I'm tired of that song.

Kel Kimble: (hears footsteps behind him) Kel Kimble: Kenan, please tell me one of us lost our shoes back there.

Two-Lane Blacktop

1971

G.T.O.: Well, here we are on the road. The Driver: Yup, that's where we are all right.

G.T.O.: Those satisfactions are permanent.

G.T.O.: Performance and image, that's what it's all about.

The Mechanic: You'd have yourself a real street-sweeper here if you put a little work into it. G.T.O.: I go fast enough. The Driver: You can never go fast enough.

G.T.O.: If I'm not grounded pretty soon, I'm gonna go into orbit.

The Girl: Say, which way we going? The Mechanic: East. The Girl: That's cool. I never been East.

G.T.O.: (after being approached sexually by a male hitchhiker) I'm not into that! Oklahoma hitchhiker: I just thought it might relax you while you drive. G.T.O.: This is competition, man. I've got no time.

Un long dimanche de fianailles

2004

(repeated line) Bndicte: Doggie fart, gladdens my heart.

Rouvires: A trench named Bingo Crepuscule? Why not Yippie Tralala?

(repeated line) Mathilde: Ashes to ashes. Ashes to ashes.

Tina Lombardi: I regret nothing. Except my hair.

Mathilde: (peeling an apple) If I don't break the peel, Menech is alive.

Mathilde: (after climbing out of her wheelchair) It doesn't just happen at Lourdes.

Ange Bassignano: (writes) "Vengeance is pointless. Try to be happy and don't ruin your life for me."

Underclassman

2005

(from trailer) Tracy Stokes: (at a five-star restaurant with Rob) I'm telling you, in my old neighborhood, gettin' crab is something totally different.

(from trailer) Rob Donovan: If I get so much as a scratch on this car, my dad will kill me. Tracy Stokes: (car blows up) Your daddy gon' kill you.

Tracy Stokes: Hey girls, my name is Tracy and this is my boy here, Alex - Hot High School Girl: Oh, my God, Rob Donovan is here! (they run off) Alexander Jeffries: It's okay. They probably had herpes anyway.

Unexpected Family, An

1996 (TV)

Megan Whitney: Could we go get ice-cream? Matt Whitney: She just forgave me for stealing a car. Let's not push our luck!

Matt Whitney: That's a stupid reason Barbara Whitney: One of many you'll come across as you grow up.

Matt Whitney: Aren't I getting to old for this? (about a kiss) Barbara Whitney: When you're dead you'll be too old.

Megan Whitney: Could Sam be our father? Matt Whitney: You got a thing about pushing your luck, don't you?

Unforgivable

1996 (TV)

Paul Hegstrom: I can't believe that bitch Judy hung up on me!

Paul Hegstrom: Judy, what's wrong? Judy Hegstrom: What's wrong? You abused me for 15 years!

Paul Hegstrom: You know what? I don't give a damn what you think. YUour just like everybody else I know. You have no spine.

Paul Hegstrom: Jeff, I never meant to hurt you. Jeff Hegstrom: No! You meant to hurt mom!

Ungentlemanly Act, An

1992 (TV)

Rex Hunt: Time to surrender, Jim. Jim Fairfield: Fuck off, sir!

(Watching the Argentinians celebrate the raising of their flag over the islands) Don Bonner: You'd think they'd just won the bloody World Cup!

Lt Quiroga: Mr Hunt... Time to give up Mr Hunt... your phone is cut off... armoured amphibious vehicles will be closing in soon!Mr Hunt,We have very superior numbers... I am sure you are a reasonable man... come out with your hands on head... alone! Colour Sgt. Muir: Fuck off you spick bastards!

Colour Sgt. Muir: You Sir! Simon Winchester: Yes? Colour Sgt. Muir: FUCK OFF!

Unreal Tournament

1999 (VG)

(the opening narration - the only major dialogue in the game) Narrator: In 2291, in an attempt to control violence among deep space miners, the New Earth Government legalized no-holds-bared fighting. Liandri Mining Corporation, working with the NEG, established a series of leagues and bloody public exhibitions. The fight's popularity grew with their brutality. Soon, Liandri discovered that the public matches were their most profitable enterprise. The professional league was formed; a cabal of the most violent and skilled warriors in known space, selected to fight in a Grand Tournament. Now it is 2341. 50 years have passed since founding of DeathMatch. Profits from the Tournament number in the hundreds of billions. You have been selected to fight in the professional league by the Liandri Rules Board. Your strength and brutality are legendary. The time has come to prove you are the best. To crush your enemies; to win the Tournament.

V

1984

Lydia: You know, I've never lost in mortal combat. Diana: Idiot. If you had, you'd be dead.

(Nathan Bates is apparently collaborating with the Visitors) Mike Donovan: We know Bates is in bed with Diana. Willie: Really? I did not know that. Elias Taylor: It's a figure of speech, Willie. Willie: With Diana... one never knows.

(Kyle has hidden a special courier message, the Resistance wants it) Ham Tyler: I'll stand on your neck if don't. (give the message) Mike Donovan: And you don't want that.

Valami Amerika

2002

Timi: And who's gonna entertain me in the meantime? kos: Your middle finger?

Andrs: The elevator is for four... There is six of us in here. We'll fall down. kos: You don't count. Andrs: Anyway, you are five. You'll all fall down.

Andrs: (to the baker who fired him) One day you'll bake your last loaf in the oven of hell, asshole!

Vampire's Kiss

1989

Peter Loew: Alva, there is no one else in this entire office that I could possibly ask to share such a horrible job. You're the lowest on the totem pole here, Alva. The lowest. Do you realize that? Every other secretary here has been here longer than you, Alva. Every one. And even if there was someone here who was here even one day longer than you, I still wouldn't ask that person to partake in such a miserable job as long as you were around. That's right, Alva. It's a horrible, horrible job; sifting through old contract after old contract. I couldn't think of a more horrible job if I wanted to. And you have to do it! You have to or I'll fire you. You understand? Do you? Good.

Vandread

2000

Duero McFile: You'd better get the infirmary ready. It looks like we're gonna be busy.

Gascogne: Smile, smile!

Misty Cornwell: I'm not even from Mejair and they have the gall to throw me in prison! I can't believe I have a record now.

Buzem A. Calessa: I think you've done more than enough to prove the existence of Hibiki Tokai.

Captain Mango Vivian: "We have to take the path we have to take". That boy is becoming more clever with his words every day!

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