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Better Than Sex

2000

Josh: All I wanted to do was be a princess for a day.

Josh: Yeah, you have to sleep together and run away, as soon as you let some sort of intimacy develop it's... I dunno, it gets crazy.

Josh: For the first time in my life I was with someone I was really into, you know the feeling where you just crave them?

Josh: That photo reminds me of... Oh, fucked if I know, something. Cin: That you loved her.

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Good Morning, Miss Dove

1955

Billie Jean: Now, we'll take our clothes off and we'll feel more comfortable. Miss Dove: The pronoun "we" is misleading unless you propose to take off your clothes too.

Billie Jean: You know Bill Holloway? Office Holloway I suppose I should refer to him. Miss Dove: William was one of my pupils. Billie Jean: Well I just thought you might like to know how he's got you up on a pedestal. He says that you're his ideal of "real genteel".

Miss Dove: William Holloway started out with a gift rarer than mathematical genius or perfect pitch. A child in whom the ethical instinct was as innate as the function of breathing. Billie Jean: Oh brother! If anyone should ever tell him that, you could drive a truck right between his ears!

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Good Night, and Good Luck.

2005

Edward R. Murrow: We'll split the advertising, Fred and I. He just won't have any presents for his kids at Christmas. Sig Mickelson: He's a Jew. Edward R. Murrow: Well don't tell him that. He loves Christmas.

Edward R. Murrow: Did you know that Shirley and Joe are married? Fred Friendly: Yeah. Edward R. Murrow: Did everybody know?

Edward R. Murrow: We will not walk in fear, one of another.

Edward R. Murrow: Freddie, every time you light my cigarette, I know you're lying to me.

Edward R. Murrow: You always were yellow. Fred Friendly: Better than red.

Edward R. Murrow: We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home.

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Goodness Gracious Me: Back Where They Came From

2001 (TV)

(a reporter from BBC is standing in front of a crowd and reporting. A man from the crowd comes forward) Man from crowd: Television? BBC journalist: Yes. Man from crowd: BBC? BBC journalist: Yes. Man from crowd: Mark Tully?

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Goodnight, Sweet Marilyn

1989

Gladys Baker: The tomcats are after you! That's how it is, baby!

Ralph Johnson: She had kind of a *homey* quality.

Medical Doctor: You know, when we're through here, drowning might be an option.

Psychiatrist: You always relied on the kindness of powerful men, *didn't* you?

Norma Jean Baker: Maybe I don't have much to offer, but I've got something, and it's something men want, and I'm willing to give it to them, as long as they give me what I want.

Marilyn Monroe: Do they have cameras in heaven?

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Goof on the Roof

1953

Shemp: (after Moe shoves the door into Shemp) (to Moe) Hey, why don't you watch where you're going? Moe: (to Shemp) Relax. I give you a hand as soon as I finish eating this jelly sandwich. I can't work on an empty stomach. Shemp: I'm hungry too and I haven't... Moe: Shaddup and finish your job.

Larry: (Larry has slammed the top door in Moe's face) (to Moe) I didn't know you were standing there, Moe. I wouldn't have slammed the door. Moe: (to Larry) Oh, *you* slammed it? That's all right. Hey, is that a dirty spot? Larry: Where? Moe: Here! (slams door in Larry's face)

Moe: How do you like that? No more jelly. I guess I'll have to eat cheese. Better get some bread.

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Gorillas in the Mist: The Story of Dian Fossey

1988

Dian Fossey: You like this ring? You want to keep the hand this ring is on? If I see or hear or smell you anywhere near my gorillas, you'll be writing with your other hand and I'll have a new ashtray.

Dian Fossey: Shit, shit... I fell in shit!

Sembagare: They think you are a witch. Dian Fossey: They wouldn't be the first.

Dian Fossey: Get off my mountain!

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Gorky Park

1983

Professor Andreev: Promise me I can have your face when the breath has left your body.

Irina Asanova: KGB have better cars, you know. Arkady Renko: Ah, but they don't always take you where you want to go, do they?

Irina Asanova: The director of that film promised me a pair of new boots if I went to bed with him. Think I should?

Arkady Renko: Well, the winter's almost over.

Irina Asanova: Exactly, and me a Siberian, I'm used to the cold.

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Goykiba: Oni no Hanz yawahada koban

1974

Hanzo 'The Razor' Itami: A woman ghost? Interesting. Take me there. Onibi: To see the ghost? Please, don't make us go back. Hanzo 'The Razor' Itami: What did she look like? Onibi: Her face was like. Mamushi: Yeah, her face. Hanzo 'The Razor' Itami: I want to make love to a ghost once. Mamushi: To a ghost? Onibi: Are you serious? Hanzo 'The Razor' Itami: A man would like it once. Onibi: Do you mean it? Hanzo 'The Razor' Itami: A ghost would have a cold body. I bet it'll be pretty tight down there.

Onibi: You think he's losing his mind? A ghost has no legs. How can he make love to one? Mamushi: She'll grow legs after seeing that giant tool of his.

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Grace & Favour

1992

(repeated line) Maurice Moulterd: Sorry to barge in when you've got your snouts in the trough.

Miss Shirley Brahms: There's a mouse sitting in there, bold as brass, cleaning his whiskers! Mrs Betty Slocombe: He wont be so confident when he sees my pussy.

Mrs Betty Slocombe: (holding a small piglet) Ooh, d'ya know, it's right puttin' me off bacon.

Mrs Betty Slocombe: (Mr Humphries has just been woken up) I have just aroused Mr Humphries!

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Grace and the Storm

2004

Evan Piper: When's the last time you did anything... recreational? Rich Karma: What, you mean, like, soccer? Evan Piper: I mean drugs.

Christopher: If you don't leave this table, I will get up and make you leave. And I will lose my temper. Evan Piper: You will lose all the teeth in your head. So think it over.

Ozario Kurtz: Clarity of mind is overvalued. And it's dull.

Ozario Kurtz: I realized on my trip here that there is no possible way to authenticate the Grace the way you can authenticate other drugs... I don't even know what color it should be.

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Gray's Anatomy

1996

Female Interviewee: I think I've been disfigured; or at least blinded.

Spalding Gray: Here it is, a Scot and a Jew haggling it out in the backyard of the synagogue.

Spalding Gray: Doubt is my bottom line. The only thing I don't doubt is my own doubt.

Spalding Gray: I looked across the park, and in the distance I saw leaves blowing in the wind, bunch of children running, a red ball rolling, a flock of starlings taking off. I covered my right eye: (suiting hand actions to words) no leaves. Blur of children, blotch of red, no birds. Covered my left: ah! Ecstacy. Cover my right: despair. Ecstacy. Despair. And I realized at that moment that I was now living the perfect yin and yang existence.

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Grayson

2004

Commissioner Gordon: Careful. Old heroes bring about old villains.

(first lines) Commissioner Gordon: It's hard to believe he's gone. For all his triumphs, I fear that even in death he will find no peace, nor will those who fought beside him. Still, we must move forward, and while others will come to accept that his crusade has come to an end, for Dick Grayson, it begins again.

Barbara Grayson: (to Dick, who is pouring a glass of Orange Juice) What's gotten into you? It's like you're preparing for a war or something.

Superman: (stopping Robin from beating up Penguin) Easy, boy. Robin: (getting in Superman's face) (very serious) Stay out of this, Clark!

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Great Expectations

1946

(welcoming Pip to her decaying mansion) Miss Havisham: Come nearer. Let me look at you. Come close. Look at me. You aren't afraid of a woman who has never seen the sun since before you were born?

Pip: (narrating) I realized that in becoming a gentleman, I had only succeeded in becoming a snob.

Magwitch: Keep still, you young devil, or I'll slit your throat!

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Great Expectations

1989 (mini)

Pip: I am as unhappy as you can ever have meant me to be.

Pip: Out of my thoughts. You're part of my existence. Part of my self. To the last hour of my life you cannot choose but to remain part of my character. Part of the little good in me. Part of the evil. You're in every line I've ever read. Every prospect I've seen since I've been here. In the river. The sails of the ships. The marshes. The clouds. The wind. The woods. The sea. The streets. In light and darkness, you're there. The embodiment of all that's beautiful and graceful... "

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Great Expectations

1974 (TV)

Jaggers: (to Pip) For whose sake would you reveal this?... Pip: For Estella's sake! If Drummle knew, he'd never marry her! Jaggers: Ah, you'd save her, is that it? You'd drag her into disgrace after twenty years? She's chosen her own life and Drummle--remember that! Oh, if you must save someone, I think you might look a little closer to home.

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Gregory's Girl

1981

Gregory: Go do something your own age, like vandalize a phonebox!

Gregory: Have you ever been in love? I'm in love. Steve: Since when? Gregory: This morning. I feel restless and dizzy. I bet I wont get any sleep tonight. Steve: Sounds like indigestion.

Carol: Christ you're worse that my dad, he's old, at least he's got an excuse for being a prick!

Richard: All that fuss over a bit of tit.

Charlie: It's spelled wrong, you know. Andy: What? Charlie: Caracas. It's spelled c-a-s. You've spelled it c-u-s. Andy: We've been standing here for four hours! Why didn't you tell me?!

Girl: Can you drive? Gregory: No, but it runs in the family.

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Gui ma tian shi

1983

Cha Le: Wow! The Watermelon Monster!

Spirit: Someone stole my gold teeth and I can't chew my food down here.

Princess: Who are you? Old Devil: I'm the Devil!

Old Devil: Give me the book or I'll kill you all. Monk: Don't threaten us and get off our roof!

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Gypsy Angels

1980

Ted: Being scared is part of the job.

Ted: If you wanna sail big ships, you gotta go where the water's deep.

Mickey: Love me, please, love me!

Mickey: He lied to me! Jeff promised that he'd always be with me!

Mickey: Let me tell you one thing, mister. I am one fine stripper, real kinky. You know what I mean? You betcha!

Mickey: No more G-strings. No more smoky rooms, and potheads, and hookers, and those old terrible men, and the tassels.

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Haggard

1990

Squire Amos Haggard: Roderick, he is a young rascal and you are a gentleman, and a gentleman is judged by the company he keeps. Roderick Haggard: Ah, you mean "birds of a feather," Father. Squire Amos Haggard: Precisely. Roderick Haggard: You mean if I'm seen drinking with someone shifty, shady, and degenerate, I shall be judged accordingly! Squire Amos Haggard: Of course. Roderick Haggard: Then I'll leave you, Father. (walks away)

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Half-Shot Shooters

1936

Moe: Republican? Naw, I'm a Democrat. Curly: Not me, I'm a pedestrian!

Capt Burke: ... wouldn't know a shell from a boat. Larry: What'd he say? Moe: He says you smell like a goat. Larry: Oh, yeah? Same to you!

Curly: Oh, the first shell went in there. It goes round and a round, woah, woah and it goes out there.

Capt Burke: Where were you born? Curly: He says your pants are torn. Moe: I ain't got any on. Larry: Not worn, corn! Corn! Curly: Oh, I got two on both dogs!

Larry: Pipe down! You're spoilin' the whole war for me!

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Halifax f.p: A Killing of Crows

1998 (TV)

(Jane answering the door) Jane Halifax: Kevin, it's nearly midnight! Kevin: You're going to bed? Jane Halifax: Well, that's why I'm wearing pajama's yes!

Kevin: Nobody really knows anybody else do they? What they're capable of. Jane Halifax: We're just as capable of the greatest kindnesses too, don't forget that. Angela Halifax: If you ate properly you wouldn't have to put yourself through that purgatory Jane Halifax: I'm hoping to live to a ripe old age. Like you.

Angela Halifax: Why do plain clothes police officers wear such plain clothes? Jane Halifax: I think it has something to do with their salaries

Angela Halifax: Are you awake? (The dog jumps on the bed) Jane Halifax: Well I am now!

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Halifax f.p: Hard Corps

1994 (TV)

Jane Halifax: What is more important, your marriage or your friendship with Kevin Tate? Steven: Pretty even I guess Jane Halifax: If you have to choose? (Steven thinks a while) Steven: Paula and the kids Jane Halifax: Well you got there with a struggle!!

Jane Halifax: So, how are you? Kevin Tate: Fine. It's the rest of the world that's crazy!

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Halifax f.p: The Spider and the Fly

2000 (TV)

Dr Jane Halifax: Do you wanna talk? Tim McNamara: No I don't wanna talk, I want to bloody strangle someone! So piss off or it might be you! Alison Blount: I'm sure Lisa's husband will be very sorry to see you go Dr Jane Halifax: Well, they won't miss my cooking! Dr Jane Halifax: Sweetheart can you go keep an eye on dinner please? George McNamara: If it moves I'll kill it! (The house is in chaos) Bob 'Dizzy' Gillespie: Well, Cyclone Jane! Dr Jane Halifax: When I spring-clean I don't much about Dr Jane Halifax: No, I'm sorry, it's a dumb idea Bob 'Dizzy' Gillespie: Last night you loved it Dr Jane Halifax: Last night I was technically insane!

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Hall of Mirrors

2001

Dylan Hewitt: That's six times in a row you've beaten me just now. I've never lost more than six hands in a row, ever. You know what that means, don't you? It means your luck's gotta run out.

Haze: Just remember, Hewitt: a man needs only to be turned around once with his eyes shut in this world to be lost.

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Halloween: A Cut Above the Rest

2003 (TV)

(On writing the script for "Halloween II") John Carpenter: I will say that what got me through writing that script was... Budweiser. Six pack of beer a night, sitting in front of the typewriter saying, "What in the hell can I put down?" I had no idea. We're remaking the same film, only not as good.

Joseph Wolf: Halloween III was a horror. It was just a terrible movie.

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Hamburger... The Motion Picture

1986

(Explaining how much formula has been given to Zipser) Dr Mole: That is the equivalent of 3 tons of my new synthetic chicken. Lyman Vunk: 3 TONS? Dr Mole: Yes... that would be as if he had a bucket of chicken, every day, for 500 years. Lyman Vunk: Is ther any chance of brain damage? Zipser: Cluck... Cluck.

Lyman Vunk: (instructing a managerial training class) We reserve the right... to refuse service... to ASSHOLES like YOU. (entire class repeats)

Lyman Vunk: (instructing a managerial training class) Put those cookies back... MOTHERFUCKER. (entire class repeats, Sister Sara crossing herself)

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Happy Family

2003

Peter Brennan: I put my foot down! Tim Brennan: But Dad... Annie Brennan: Your father has put his foot down... there's nothing any of us can do about it now!

Peter Brennan: You know if you really want to worry about something, how about asking why your daughter is wearing a cocktail dress to play Scrabble with her parents.

Peter Brennan: (to Tim) You'd think, for once by accident, you'd succeed.

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Happy Together

1989/I

Alexandra Page: Work, work, work! That's all you do! Chris, you need to have some fun! Christopher Wooden: Fun? What's that? Alexandra Page: Fun! You know, starts with an F, ends in an N, has a U in the middle! Christopher Wooden: Oh, yeah I've heard of it.

Alexandra Page: I can't help the way I am. I don't know why I do the things I do. You just have to trust me on that!

Christopher Wooden: You could be loved by me! Alexandra Page: I could be loved by you. Christopher Wooden: You COULD be loved by me! Alexandra Page: I could be HURT by you!

Alexandra Page: I didn't even read the questions, I just took a number 2 pencil and filled in the bubbles as fast as I could! Christopher Wooden: What did you put for sex? Alexandra Page: Occasionally.

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Hare Trimmed

1953

Bugs: (disguised as Frenchman) En garde! Yosemite Sam: I'm a-ready! Bugs: (disguised as Frenchman) One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, nine and a half, nine and three quarters, nine and three sixteenths, eleven sixteenths, twelve sixteenths, ten. (a bus runs over Sam) Bugs: (checking the bus schedule) Yep, he's right on time.

Yosemite Sam: That dame's taking everything but the kitchen sink. (kitchen sink drops into Sam's arms)

Bugs: (dressed as Frenchman) Haa! You have insulted the Great Lovere. The Markee of Queensbury Rules.

Bugs: (disguised as Frenchman) (to Sam) Bugs: Ehhhhh, what is up, monsieur, le physician?

Granny: (running from Sam) Sakes, nothing like this has happened to me since the boys got back from Gettysburg!

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Hare-um Scare-um

1939

(impersonating a motorcycle cop) Rabbit: You know what this'll cost you? Thirty days... hath September, April, June, and Montana, all the rest have cold weather, except in the summer, which isn't often.

Rabbit: Celery. Mighty fine nerve tonic - and, boy, have I got nerve!

Rabbit: You don't have to be crazy to do this, but it sure helps, eh, Doc?

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Harm Done

2000 (TV)

Det. Chief Insp. Reg Wexford: Stephen Devenish is the most faithful husband on earth. He loves his wife - she's the one woman he can beat to a pulp.

(quoting from a poison-pen letter) Det. Chief Insp. Reg Wexford: "Dear Mr Devenish. I wonder if you know what a monster you are. A psychopath, not a human being at all. Evil like yours is, in fact, quite rare. Thank God. But God won't have his revenge on you till after you have died. So he has appointed me to carry out retribution. I shall kill you! I will make your wife a widow and your children orphans, and laugh for joy." No signature. Funny, isn't it, how even the writers of hate mail use a term of endearment: *Dear* Mr Devenish.

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Hasta el viento tiene miedo

1968

Luca: You don't seem very surprised... Diego: Oh, no... How could the poor little one be a ghost? So pretty and with those sad eyes... Luca: Have you seen her? Diego: Yes... you don't? Luca: How could I see her? She's death!

Bernarda: And if suddenly Claudia gets a fondness for heliotropes, I would not be any surprised. Luca: It's good to hear you say that... because I was afraid to show you this... showing Bernarda some heliotropes.

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Hatari!

1962

(first lines) Sean Mercer: (over two-way radio) Kurt, can you hear me? Kurt Muller: Go ahead, Sean. Sean Mercer: At about eleven o'clock... right in the middle of that herd of wildebeest - see him? Kurt Muller: Oh, that's a good one. Sean Mercer: Let's go; start out easy.

(last lines) Dallas: Oh, no... go away! Go away, now! Timbo, go away, go away. Timbo! Timbo, go away! Timbo... (the bed collapses from the elephant's weight) Sean Mercer: Aawwww... Dallas: Go away!

Sean Mercer: Pockets, what are you doing? Pockets: I'm trying to milk the goat. Sean Mercer: Well, that's the wrong kind of a goat - that's a ram!

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He-Man and the Masters of the Universe: The Beginning

2002 (TV)

King Randor: He-Man... you can fly. He-Man: Well... no.

He-Man: Surrender Skeletor. Skeletor: Yes... I... I do. (blasts He-Man) Skeletor: Had my fingers crossed.

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Head Cheerleader Dead Cheerleader

2000 (V)

Coach Elaine Riley: Be careful tonight, Heather - I can't afford to lose my head cheerleader before the big game tomorrow.

The Voice: Mmmm, just what I like, fresh cheerleader - sounds like a new Ben & Jerry's flavor.

Heather Connelly: Don't mess with me, Coach, I'm a *cheerleader*!

Cheerleaders: Two four six eight, who should we decapitate!

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Heat

1972

Sally: ... And you're NOT a lesbian. I mean, everybody has girlfriends. Men have friends, women have friends. That doesn't make you a lesbian. Do you sleep in the same room with her? Jessica: Sure. How else can I be a lesbian? Sally: Where does Mark sleep? Jessica: With us. Sally: In the same bed? Jessica: In the same bed. Sally: Is that a way to bring up a boy? He'll be a lesbian!

(first lines) Lydia: Hey! Don't throw that kid in the pool!

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Heat

1986

(His qualifications.) Mex: Well, I've been knocked down, blown up, lied to, shit on, shot at, I'm not a virgin except in my heart, nothing much surprises me anymore except what people do to each other. I'm a licensed pilot, I lectured on economics at Yale, and I can memorize the front page of the New York Times in five minutes, and repeat it back to you in five weeks. I was National Golden Gloves Champion three years in a row and I'm fluent in four languages. And... I lie a lot!

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Heaven's Gate

1980

James Averill: You're not my class, Canton, and you never will be. You'd have to die first and be born again.

John L. Bridges: It's getting dangerous to be poor in this country.

Captain Minardi: Do you know what I really dislike about you, Jim? You're a rich man with a good name. You only pretend to be poor.

Ella Watson: I never cheated on you. I always made Nate pay.

Ella Watson: Do you think a woman can love two men? James Averill: Sure you can. Why not three? But it sure as hell isn't convenient.

Frank Canton: Mr Champion, my grandfather was the Secretary of War to Harrison. His brother was the governor of the state of New York. My brother-in-law is Secretary of State. And to you, I represent the full authority of the government of the United States and the President. Nathan D. Champion: Fuck him too.

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Heavy Metal 2000

2000

Tyler: When you kill someone, make sure they're dead.

Tyler: What does it take to get laid around here?!

Julie: Now we must destroy the key. Odin: Perhaps, perhaps not! Julie: Odin, why? Odin: Because I am Arakacian! My charade fooled the insufferable Holy Landers and even that little stone idiot! What makes you think a pathetic mortal can stop me?

Tyler: Blind adoration makes me so horny! Bring me a wench! Guard: Bla!

Tyler: What do you mean you can't find them? How do you lose a 6 foot bitch with a talking rock, huh?

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Hedda Gabler

1980 (TV)

Eilert Lovborg: Hedda - Gabler. Hedda Gabler: Sh! Eilert Lovborg: Hedda Gabler. Hedda Gabler: Yes, that used to be my name. When we knew each other first. Eilert Lovborg: Can't I call you Hedda - even when we're alone together? Hedda Gabler: Think it. If you've a mind to. Only don't say it.

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Hellbound

1994

(Calvin is examining a body) Calvin Jackson: Oh shit! His heart's gone! (Frank reassuringly points to a corner of the room) Frank Shatter: No it isn't. It's right there...

(Looking out his hotel window at the ancient marketplace) Calvin Jackson: We're in the middle of a damn swap meet!

Lockley: I'm Prosatanos, your passage to eternity!

Leslie: That which he covets will prove to be his demise!

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Hellraiser: Inferno

2000 (V)

(entering a crime scene) Tony Nenonen: What's an eight-letter word for "slaughterhouse"? Joseph: Abattoir. Tony Nenonen: You're good!

Pinhead: Welcome... to Hell.

Pinhead: It's all a puzzle, isn't it, Joseph? Like a game of chess, perhaps. The pieces move, apparently aimlessly, but always towards one single objective: to kill the king. But who is the king in this game, Joseph? That is the question you must ask yourself.

(being forced to question his morals) Joseph: I don't understand. Pinhead: Ah, the eternal refrain of humanity. Pleading ignorance, begging for mercy. "Please, help me. I don't understand."

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Helter Skelter

2004 (TV)

Charles Manson: How can I be a hippie when I hate hippies?

Charles Manson: This court is out of order.

Charles Manson: They would die for me. Vincent Bugliosi: Well, they all might get their chance to.

Charles Manson: Do I look like a Chuck?

Susan 'Sadie' Atkins: (of a dead body) Yes, that was the thing I saw.

Charles Manson: Come to now, where suddenly no sense, makes sense.

Charles Manson: The time is now. Helter skelter.

Linda Kasabian: Charlie has a way of taking the truth and making it a lie.

Susan 'Sadie' Atkins: Bitch, I have no mercy for you.

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Hercules in New York

1970

Hercules: Ha, ha, ha. You have struck Hercules.

Hercules: Hercules hides from no man!

Hercules: Hercules has no need of money!

Hercules: Bucks? Doe? What is all this zoological talk about male and female animals?

Mercury: You could do great harm. Hercules: Ahm To Oom?

Hercules: (throwing an attacking robber aside) How dare you touch Hercules!

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Heroes II: The Return

1992 (TV)

Capt Ellis: Everything you told me was true? Or have you blocked somethings out in that curious Japanese way that forgets the Winter and only remembers the cherry blossum?

Furuta: They were... heroes.

Capt Ellis: Yes. But were they treated as such?

Furuta: They deserved to be.

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Hi Diddle Diddle

1943

(Looking at hat check girl) Senator Simpson: You know, I've seen that girl somewhere before. Liza Prescott: She's a very particular friend of the director who's making this picture. He sticks her in every scene he can. Janie Prescott: Mother, shh! Somebody might hear you.

Col Hector Phyffe: (seeing his wife appear unexpectedly as he is kissing another woman) My wife! Stand by to render first aid!

Leslie Quayle: Hi, sailor. Your father working today for a change? Sonny Phyffe: Yes. You want him? Leslie Quayle: No thanks, honey. I just want to see him.

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Hiding Out

1987

Patrick Morenski: Okay, on one end of the spectrum you've got homo, and on the other you've got hetero. Then there's me, way the fuck over here!

Andrew Morenski: Do you ever ask yourself "How did I get here?" Patrick Morenski: Yeah, I used to, but now I just ask myself "How do I get out?"

Andrew Morenski: I used to be just like you: a short, horny, hopeless dork. Patrick Morenski: And now look at you. Andrew Morenski: Well, I'm not short.

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High Diving Hare

1949

(last lines) Bugs: I know this defies the Law of Gravity, but, you see, I never studied law!

Yosemite Sam: I paid my four bits to see the high-diving act and I'm a-gonna see the high-diving act.

Yosemite Sam: Now, you dog-blasted, ornery, no-account, long-eared varmint! Bugs: Hey,just a minute, you! Dem's fightin' woids! Yosemite Sam: Yeah, dem's fightin' words! Bugs: I dash ya to step across dis line. (traces line along edge of diving board) Yosemite Sam: I'm a-stepping. (Sam steps across line and falls off board; rises up) Yosemite Sam: I hate you. (falls back down)

Yosemite Sam: (Sam realizes Bugs has placed a door on the diving board) Open this door! (starts banging on the door) Yosemite Sam: Ya notice I didn't say, "Richard"?

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High Hopes

2002

Richard 'Fagin' Hepplewhite: (after the boys had wrecked Dafydd Ar Y Twmp) Well, they always say you learn from failure, boys. Constant failure has brought me to where I am today!

Richard 'Fagin' Hepplewhite: (referring to the girls showing their midriffs on the TV) Ay, that'll be us in the future, bollock-naked all over the place.

Mrs Elsie Hepplewhite: (when Charlie is leaving for Cardiff after realising he's gay) Ah, don't worry love. I saw on Trisha a woman wearing a T-shirt saying "I'm proud of my gay son". I'll get one of them Richard 'Fagin' Hepplewhite: (rising) Yeah, but Mam, I'm your son! Mrs Elsie Hepplewhite: Well, I'll get one saying "I'm proud of my son's gay apprentice!" instead.

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High School U.S.A.

1983 (TV)

Archie Feld: Nice going, Chuckie. Now who's the bigger lame-o? You or me?

Archie Feld: Chuckie, tell me it's just a couple of scratches. Tell me my father isn't going to kill me. Chuckie Dipple: The car's totaled, Archie. You're a dead man. Archie Feld: Oh, no... Chuckie Dipple: Hey, cheer up. At least we still got the girls... Girls? Girls?

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Highlander: The Raven

1998

(Season 1 opening narration) Nick: She is... immortal. A thousand years old, and she cannot die. A creature of legend, like the Raven. A thief, who stole the Sun and the Moon. They sent a warrior to bring her back. He found her. Together they brought back light to the world. I was a cop. To me she was just a thief. Another day on the job. But she wasn't. She changed my life, changed... everything. And both of us knew from that moment on, nothing would ever be the same.

(End sequence, last episode) Nick: Once, everything was clear. Good guys, bad guys. Life and death. Then you meet someone, someone you want to love, then it all changes. Death brings life, life brings death. What room is there for love, when there can be only one?

Amanda: I'm going to consult the Immortal Yellow Pages.

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Highway Patrol

1955

(Opening narration) Announcer: Whenever the laws of any state are broken, a duly authorized organization swings into action. It may be called the State Police, State Troopers, Militia, the Rangers... or the Highway Patrol. These are the stories of the men whose training, skill and courage have enforced and preserved our state laws.

(Repeated line) Chief Dan Mathews: Ten-four!

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Hitler: The Rise of Evil

2003 (TV)

Adolf Hitler: If a thief takes your money and you take it back, does that make you also a thief?

Adolf Hitler: Pride is a weapon!

Adolf Hitler: Traitors are defined not by themselves, but by the people they betray.

Fritz Gerlich: (about Hitler) He's not human. He study people in order to appear human, but all he has discovered is our fear and our hatred.

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Hitler's S.S.: Portrait in Evil

1985 (TV)

Helmutt Hoffmann: Well, who needs Revolutionaries when the Revolution has already been achieved?

Karl Hoffmann: Just think if we were asked to observe a minute of silence for all the people we've slaughtered and all the people our friends in the SS have slaughtered. Why, we'd be spending the rest of our lives in total silence!

Reinhard Heydrich: Tell me, Hoffmann, have you been doing anything reprehensible lately? Helmutt Hoffmann: Not that I'm aware of. Reinhard Heydrich: Well, if you had, you certainly would be aware of it, wouldn't you?

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Hold Back the Dawn

1941

Georges Iscovescu: Your husband? Anita Dixon: No. No, Shaughnessy was a jockey from Caliente. Five foot three. Once over the border, I went to a judge. I said, a woman wants a man, not a radiator cap! Divorce granted, fifty dollars.

Anita Dixon: All those years with all the others, I've shut my eyes and thought of you.

Inspector Hammock: I'll be the doggonedest dog to end all doggoned dogs! Maybe I'm just dumb.

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Hold Back Tomorrow

1955

Detective: He wants to have some fun. Music, dancing, y'know. To kill time. Dora: Before time kills him. It's a good idea.

Joe Cardos: I had a dream last night. A strange dream. I walked to the gallows, and they put the noose around my neck. Dropped the trapdoor. The rope broke, and I -- I fell to the ground. Then the prison bells started to ring. As if to proclaim a miracle had occurred. You see, the, the law says that when something like this happens, the convict's life must be spared. It's considered a sign of Providence. Eh, I guess Providence can't be bothered to perform miracles for my sake. When I woke up, I -- I could still hear the prison bell ringing. Isn't it strange?

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Hold 'Em Jail

1932

Kravette: Helping a prisoner to escape? I'll put you on the rock pile for this! Spider Robbins: If you do, we'll throw rocks at you!

Violet Jones: That's funny - I can't seem to hit that top note. Spider Robbins: Perhaps it's just as well. Where did you learn to sing, anyway? Violet Jones: I spent four years in Paris. Of course, I'm not a virtuoso. Spider Robbins: Not after four years in Paris, no. Violet Jones: I trust we're both talking about the same thing?

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Hollywood Shuffle

1987

Uncle Ray: There ain't nothin to it but to do it.

The guy from the Dirty Larry clip: What you say, honky sucker pig head jive turkey fool?

Bobby Taylor: I believe this movie. A dude could jump off a mountain and not hurt himself, cause he did brace himself. And knew something about the levels of gravitivity and polarity.

Bobby Taylor: There's always work at the post office.

Body Guard #2: (inspecting the limo) A bomb! Body Guard #1: No, that's the muffler.

Bobby Taylor: I wish Tiny *would* bring his big fat ass out here... Tiny! I'm going to make it up to you, I'm going to be a star. Tiny: No, you're gonna be *seein'* stars.

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Holy Joe

1999 (TV)

(David pulls out a cigarette) David Cass: You got a light? Joe Cass: I thought we agreed you wouldn't smoke. David Cass: No, you agreed I wouldn't smoke. You and Ann. Joe Cass: Her name is "Mom." David Cass: No, her name is "Ann." Her title is "Mom." As in, the "Mom and the Dad." Joe Cass: Well, the "Dad" and the "Son" have things to talk about.

Aimee Cass: Father, Son, and the Holy Goat. Joe Cass: Oh yes, that old Holy Goat.

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