Film Dialogue 7
(first lines) Homer Smith: Have you ever been in San Francisco? Marcia Warren: Yes, once with Gable and Tracy and the joint fell apart!
Skeffington: Not to act is to act. By doing nothing, you're keeping the Brits here.
Bill Denny: Goddamnit, lady, you don't throw oranges on an escalator!
Bill Denny: Dumbo flew.
Call Girl Wives
Taimie: Listen, I have a friend. She's what would be called in certain circles, a matchmaker. Like in "Hello Dolly". Amanda: Is that the one where she dressed like a boy and studied the Torah?
Call Me Claus
Ralph: Look, we're burning daylight on the international dateline. Lucy: Okay, right now you're burning my last nerve.
Member of the congregation: Hey everybody. You're not gonna believe this, it's snowing outside. This is amazing, it hasn't snowed in Los Angeles - never.
Call Northside 777
P.J. McNeal: You look nice. Will you marry me? Laura McNeal: I did.
Lonely: You hit Arthur? David Callan: I hit him... and he died of it.
Came a Hot Friday
Wes Pennington: (singing while urinating into a river) Pour the devil's poison into God's cleansing river/It's of no further use to man when it's filtered through the liver!
King Arthur: The adage "blood is thicker than water" was invented by undeserving relatives.
The Actor: When you record the moment, you record the death of the moment. Children and death are a bad combination.
Raj the Elephant: What are we made of? Clam: Stuff. Raj the Elephant: Stuff? What kind of stuff? Clam: Stuff, stuff.
Ralph: You boys know I ain't gonna hurt you.
Larry: This has all natural ingredients, so just shut up and smoke!
Steve: Now that I'm grown up, I *still* want everything!
The Pirate: I curse you! I'll be there on the other side, waiting for you!
Cactus Jack: Let's just say that when the tough get together, they call me boss.
Franois Durnais: You look like a broken umbrella.
Cancel My Reservation
(Riding on the back of a motorcycle.) Dan Bartlett: We can pick up my stomach on the way back!
Walter: This isn't the fucking 'Brady Bunch,' I'm trying to make my script well written.
Casey Brown: I'm not deprived; I'm delinquent. There's a difference, you know.
(last lines) Casey Brown: What if your real granddaughter comes back? Lady St. Edmund: Perhaps she has.
Candy Von Dewd and the Girls from Latexploitia
Candy Von Dewd: He's really fucking that plant!
Sylvester: They forgot to put out the cat! Ha, ha, ha! The cat? *I'm* the cat!
Cannon Movie Tales: Puss in Boots
Puss: These boots will change our lives, Master.
Puss: Two feet... They're not as easy as I thought they'd be, Master.
Puss: A gift from my most noble lord, the Marquis of Carabas!
James Thayer: (after beating up a goon with coins) Keep the change.
James Thayer: You're one punch away from death.
Capone: There should be a law against women drinking. Crawford: Well, I think there is.
Captain America II: Death Too Soon
Captain America: The old people in this town are my friends!
Captain Simian & The Space Monkeys
(repeated line, usually referring to the Orbitron) Captain Simian: I've *got* to get that thing fixed.
Galgo: There are three men before whome a woman need have no shame: her husband, her doctor and her magician.
Captive Wild Woman
(first lines) Dockworker: Clear the dock! Clear the dock!
(last lines) End Narrator: So, behind these gates is buried the legend of a mortal who went beyond the realm of human powers and tampered with things no man should ever touch.
Sue: What do you really know about him? Rachel Clifford: I know that he doesn't wear dentures.
Car 54, Where Are You?
Officer Gunther Toody: Tell Don Marty, Detroit Dan is here.
Captain Dave Anderson: (over radio) Car 54, where the fuck are you?
Caramuru - A Inveno do Brasil
Father: Thats a great deal. You gain all the money, then he does all the work, and I do absolutely nothing. I like that.
Roger Porter: You can show me how to build model airplanes, I'll show you how to pick a lock.
Sharon Kensington: Oh, what a lovely name. I love that name. You know, the first man I ever completely destroyed was named Sam. He's a hairdresser now.
Aunt Cora: Hattie, have you ever been married? Hattie: No Ma'am, but I been engaged. Aunt Cora: Oh, just as good. Hattie: No Ma'am... it's a lot better.
Amanda Cooper: (under hypnosis) Dr Flagg is a horrible monster! Men like him should be shot down like dogs! Shot down like dogs! Shot down like dogs!
Bobby: (slowly) No one is ever going to hurt me again.
Magistrate's wife: Why don't you join us? Any friend of my husband is a friend of mine.
Carmilla: That was another lifetime. I'm much happier now.
(When Fernandos and John are driving on the highway at the end of the movie) Fernando: You know John, I like this trucking-fucking job
Carnosaur 3: Primal Species
Polchek: Nice shootin there. You just shot yourself a dead man! Sanders: I shot the shit out of him!
Doctor Evans: Looking back you never regret the ones you did, only the ones you didn't.
(On being a spurned middle aged lover) Rosalee Henson: I'm not going to get another chance.
Joseph Svenden: What can I say. I'm a bad man. But sometimes it is fun to be bad.
Carrosse d'or, Le
Camilla: At the end of the second act, when Colombine goes, driven away by her masters, there is a tradition you seem not to know. The comedians bow to her.
Penelope: Sam, play it for me please. (Sam sighs) (Plays one note to start the song) (Bugs comes running over) Bugs: I told you never to play that song again!
Carry On Christmas
(Robert Browning has arrived to take Elizabeth Barrett to Venice) Robert Browning: We can leave by the fire escape. Elizabeth Barrett: There *is* no fire escape! Robert Browning: Now, she remembers!
Carry On Jack
Albert Poop-Decker: If you've got a heart of oak, it's got a worm in it.
Carry On Laughing!
Sir Gay: If that's the flower of English Knighthood, I'd hate to see the weed!
Carry On Loving
Bertrum Muffet: I want a wife, like that (indicating to Hattie Jaques) Sidney Bliss: I think we can do a bit better than that...
Carry On Regardless
Landlord: Do you provide substitutes? Miss Cooling: (shocked) Certainly not! We aren't that kind of establishment!
Carry On Teacher
Felicity Wheeler: Are you satisfied with your equipment, Miss Allcock? Sarah Allcock: Well, I've had no complaints so far!
Mayor Teddy Burnside: I'm Mayor Teddy Burnside. Your mayor by a landslide.
Mayor Teddy Burnside: Handle it.
Chief Roy Mobey: (the Chief is showing off a batch of fried chicken he cooked) Doesn't that make your mouth water? Sergeant Curtis Baker: No, my eyes.
The Genie: Wishes are coming true at random... everybody's except yours!
Cartoon Cartoon Fridays
Chicken: Is that it?!? Dexter: No... that is not it!!!
Casa sfuggita, La
Rita: The only word I know in French is "merde"!
Luigi Montella: Who are you? Why are you talking to me? Estelle: For the answers. Luigi Montella: I can't give you any. Estelle: You're such a fool, Signor Montella. I'm giving them to you.
Casa sperduta nel parco, La
Lisa: I've never been to confession, and for curious people, who have a knife in their hand, I feel only pitty!
Alex: I know what it's like, friend. It's a bitch when your car breaks down, Especially if you're in a hurry.
Ricky: I made a real royal straight!
Ricky: And you, Howard?
Judge: You are charged with heresy, with a novice. Casanova: She was hardly a novice.
A Case of Murder
Jack Norkem: Why'd the old timer have to eat so much? Colleen Norkem: Sheez, he's a big man! Eric Norkem: Maybe that's the way they make them in Holland.
Winston Conway: I'm not a moralist, I'm a lawyer.
Casper the Friendly Ghost
Casper: It's no use... I'm just a scary ol' ghost...
Casper: I'll never be nothin' but a scary ol' ghost without any friends...
(before a fight) Barashin: My name is Barashin! Casshern: And mine is... Casshern!
Burai: We are the Neo-Sapiens. Bow down before us.
Leon Belmont: I'll kill you AND the night!
Leon Belmont: From this day on, the Belmont Clan will hunt the night.
Woman at pet shop: You can fool everybody, but landie dearie me, you can't fool a cat. They seem to know who's not right.
Irena Dubrovna: There are some things a woman doesn't want other women to understand.
Cat-Women of the Moon
Helen Salinger: (on being told that she can't come on the trip to the moon) Someone's got to cook your meals for you!
Don: I've never seen so many trying to cover so much with so little.
Milo: There's something going on here that I really don't understand, but I like it.
Narrator: So this is where my boyfriend knows his stuff.
Roy Walker: It's good, but it's not right.
Roy Walker: It's fast and furious in the Ready Money Round.
Roy Walker: Say what you see.
Subaru: Jerk. Naoki: What'd you call me? Subaru: Deaf too.
Catherine the Great
Catherine: I'm about to seize the throne of Russia. Whatever shall I wear?
(Hugh and Sally Ann believe a cat killed their pet canary when it was actually the handiwork of an evil troll) Sally Ann: Polly got in one good peck before the cat killed her. Hugh: I certainly didn't realize Polly had such a big pecker.
Foghorn Leghorn: I need, I say, I need a pointer, and that dog's got just the head for it. Pointed, that is. Nick: Hey boss, I tawt I taw a putty-tat. Rocky: You did, you did tee a putty-tat.
Hal Rubenstein: You can't always tell at a good collection what a model does, but you sure can at a bad one. You put a gunnysack or galoshes on Naomi, and you understand why a model gets paid.
Andre Leon Talley: He's not making clothes for women who work. He is making clothes for women who want to be women.
Carla Bruni: We have plenty of empty time to think. That is why we are so smart.
Catweazle: Salmay, Dalmay, Adonay !
Catweazle: Nothing works!
Catweazle: Sator, Arepo, Tenet, Opera, Rotas!
Catweazle: Buzz quoth the blue fly, hum quoth the bee. Buzz and hum they cry, and so do we!
Caught in the Draft
Don Bolton: (ogling Toni) Mmmm, that's a bundle! She looks like Dorothy Lamour with clothes on.
Bert: I went out with a girl once that told me to go jump in the lake... When I got back, she was gone.
Steve: I had an uncle who was a hero in the last war. Broke up a gas attack singlehanded. Don Bolton: How, with bicarbonate of soda?
William: Could you live with your conscience? Jamie: I live alone.
Josh: She may still have a chance! Katie: She may still have company.
Eba: Eba have big boobs. What Rex have big?
Marcos Rangel: This is my day of bad luck. Renato Mendes: When it is that you will learn that suckers doesn't have good day.
Celebrity Fit Club
Ralphie May: I was sweating like R. Kelly at the Kids Choice Awards.
Harvey Walden: So what's your claim to fame? Phil Margera: My son picks on me.
Gary Busey: (Gary's last Buseyism) S.O.B.E.R and that stands for " Son Of a Bitch Everything's Real".
Celebrity Naked Ambition
Ken Russell: (on famous male nude wrestling scene from Women In Love) Of course Oliver cheated a bit - between each take before we did it he went behind a screen and had a quick J. Arthur.
Celeste in the City
Celeste: I have this moto that I live by: "Don't mix business with pleasure." Not that you were much of a pleasure.
Mitch: I wasn't thinking. Celeste: Oh, you were thinking, just not with the right part of your anatomy.
Cline et Julie vont en bateau
Julie: It doesn't hurt to fall off the moon.
Olivier: There is a homosexual pancreas in the closet.
Center of the Web
John Phillips: If I was that good of an actor, I wouldn't be teaching to make a living.
Narrator: When somebody asks you to save the world, you don't ask questions. You just make it happen.
Central Park West
Carrie Fairchild: Mark, you've turned a hot affair into an asphyxiating obsession. How annoying!
(Caught cheating with another woman.) Mark Merrill: I am a narcissistic and self-destructive person. The only one I wanted to hurt with this was myself. Stephanie Wells: Oh, please!
Marty: Cherries without pits, the worlds greatest invention. Lukas: Cherries had pits?
(while watching a commercial for cosmetic penile implants for women in preparation for a case Lukas has taken) Marty: A guy in my building got one of these. Lukas: You mean he wasn't "packing?" Marty: A second!
C'est arriv prs de chez vous
Ben: You can tan while you make love. When you're through you've got a brown ass.
Ben: Granny Snuff, ever been snuffed out?
Cet obscur objet du dsir
Mathieu: My Conchita...
(about the new mute chef) Manra: Can he cook whatever we write to him? Laxmi: Why would you want to write it to him? Manra: Because he is mute.
Manra: Everybody was following chachi so I thought I also would follow chachi.
Chacun cherche son chat
Madame Renee: Men have let me down, but animals, never. Never!
Chagrin et la piti, Le
Georges Bidault: Some people are resistants by nature. In other words, some people are naturally headstrong. Others on the contrary, try to adapt to the circumstances, and get what they can out of it. If you are a resistant over everything and nothing, you're exaggerating. But if you accept everything, you're lying.
Manuel Ramirez: Here's my one basic truth: the majority of people in this world are stupid.
Johnny: I think I'm in love J.T. Blake: You're in lust. Johnny: I'll call it what I want.
Chained Heat II
Rosa Schmidt: I *hate* junkies, especially the innocent ones.
Stefan Lotsky: (Stefan swears vengence on the people who sold his sister into porno-slavery) She turned up on a slab at the morgue, raped and tortured.
Magda Kassar: Dance for me, bitch!
Dutchess: Don't you walk away from me, you chalk-faced whore!
Chairman of the Board
McMillan Gate Guard: Alright, pull over... wait, no, that's not right...
Ms Krubavitch: (showing Edison's house to potential buyers) Looked better when it was a crack house...
(first lines) Man in lifeboat: You'd better hurry, Miss, before she sinks.
(last lines) The Boy: I'll arrange for the captain to marry us. Betty: *You'll* arrange!
Championship Ballroom Dancing
(observing the dancers) Barbara Eden: What a beautiful dress! Ron Montez: Yes, it is. Very elegant.
Chance at Heaven
Blacky Gorman: Funny how a good kick in the pants will make a guy's head work.
A Change of Seasons
Pete Lachapelle: We enter this world and leave this world alone. Everything else is a gift.
Theo Teagarden: I wish I could paint something for you so beautiful that you'd never feel an ounce of pain ever again.
Susan "Soosh" Teague: I'd like to shoplift this please.
Hannah: Can you really have an orgasm with god?
Maggie: Seven women in this house, and we all have our period.
Chao ji xue xiao ba wang
(Learning that Lung is staying behind.) Ti Man: Kidding? Broom Man: Kidding? Ah Sing: Kidding? All three: How come he gets to stay behind? Police Captain: Because he is my wife's brother.
Jennie MacLaine: I am wonderful, I'm nuts about me, and if you're stupid enough to throw someone sensational like me aside, you don't deserve as good as you've got.