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Hoi Polloi

1935

Moe: Gentlemen, this is the punishment we get for being among the hoi polloi.

Prof. Richmond: Spell "cat". Curly: Cat, K-I-T-T-Y, pussy!

Moe: (reading) "See the deer. Has the deer any doe?" Curly: Yeah, two bucks!

Larry: Oh, see the cat. Does the mouse see that cat? Yeah, the dirty rat!

top

Hokuto no Ken

1984

(Kenshir's trademark phrase) Kenshir: You are already dead.

top

Hold That Lion

1947

Larry: I smell somethin' awful. Moe: You telling me? Why don'tcha use cologne?

Moe: Say, what's another word for "scrutiny"? Shemp: Scrutiny.

top

Hold Your Man

1933

Gypsy: Just two weeks ago, he (Eddie) sent me ten bucks for Christmas. I bet that's a bit of news to certain somebody. Ruby: He was tossin' ten-dollar bills to ALL the tramps at Christmas! Gypsy: Did you get yours?

Ruby: You wouldn't be a bad looking dame, if it wasn't for you're face.

top

Holding On

1997 (mini)

Gary Rickey: I like you, Bridget. I think we can do business. Do you do the business?

Gary Rickey: I'm Gary Rickey!

top

A Hole in the Head

1959

Fred: Life is just a bowl of cherries Tony Manetta: Why Fred: I don't know. I ain't a philosopher!

top

Hollow Triumph

1948

(Evelyn kisses Muller by mistake) Evelyn Hahn: What can I do for you? John Muller: What more could any reasonable man ask?

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Hollywood Boulevard II

1989

Murray: Battle maidens to the set, please!

top

Hollywood Canteen

1944

Jane Wyman: I've been Reagan-ized!

top

Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers

1988

Jack Chandler: I'd stumbled into the middle of an evil, insidious cult of chainsaw worshipping maniacs. I had to wonder if we'd let our religious freedom go too far in this country, or maybe our immigration laws were just too lax.

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Hollywood on Parade No. 8

1933

Dracula: Betty... you have booped your last boop!

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Hollywood Unscripted: A Chaos Theory

2005

Max: Here is Marco, a true legend in Hollywood. Half Cherokee, half Aztec. He wonders, here in LA, who the aliens actually are.

top

Homage

1995

(cheerful smile) Archie: Yes, ma'am. I'll balance your soil.

Lucy: He's crazy... Katherine: He's lonely.

Archie: I won't be there for you... because I hate you.

top

Hombre llamado Noon, Un

1973

Noon: Are you coming? Rimes: Yeah, I figure you might need me... if only to put a marker on your grave.

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Hombre mirando al sudeste

1986

Dr Julio Denis: We don't cure anybody here.

top

Home Alone 4

2002 (TV)

(floor covered in water) Kevin McCallister: House, clean yourself up. (nothing happens) Well, it was worth a try.

(last lines) Kevin McCallister: I knew this was gonna be the best Christmas ever.

top

Home Beyond the Sun

2004 (TV)

Colonel Khan: Around here we have a saying. Don't preach what you practice.

top

Home Delivery

2004

Zion: HUNGRY!

Ta-Tanisha's Mom: My self-esteem was dookie then!

Sarge: I love the fat woman too much.

top

Home of the Brave

1949

T.J.: Yeah, I'll never forget the first letter I got from my wife. It started, "My darling, darling, darling, I'll never again use the word `love' without thinking only of you." And I remember the last one I got from her. It started, "Dear T.J., this is the hardest letter I've ever had to write."

T.J.: Divided we fall, united we stand, coward take my coward's hand.

top

Home, Tweet Home

1950

Nanny: You coward, you bully, you shmo!

(last lines) (calling a pet shop to order another cat) Tweety: I'm fwesh out!

(dressed as the nanny's charge) Sylvester: Baby wants a pretty birdie!

top

Homeboys in Outer Space

1996

Pippen: I saved that ship twenty-two times a year, but would they ever let me wear the blue shirt?

Pippen: So I said to him "You wiggle them pointy ears at me one more time, and I'll beam you up where the sun don't shine!"

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Homestead Artifact

2001

Garnet McBride: Out there on the plains, it was just people against the elements... people against the dirt.

Garnet McBride: The father never wanted to talk about (the homestead) He felt that it was something that he never finished and you know, that sort of eats at you over the years.

top

Homicidal

1961

Emily: If you do not leave this house in the next minute, I will kill you!

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Homme qui aimait les femmes, L'

1977

Bertrand Morane: Women's legs are like compass points, circling the globe

top

Hondo and the Apaches

1967 (TV)

Silva: Your dying will be slow and hard. (looks at Hondo's dog, Sam) Today two white dogs will die. Hondo Lane: Beat it, Sam! Silva: (after the dog runs off) Then you will die two times as slow.

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Hondo

1953

Hondo: That dog don't take to pettin', son.

Hondo Lane: A man oughta do what he thinks is right.

top

Honeysuckle Rose

1980

(Lily is on her first tour with Buck's band) Bo: Anybody on this bus got a college education? Lily Ramsey: I do; just graduated in June. Bo: Good. Then you can get up and get us a beer.

top

Honky Donkey

1934

Stymie: Come on, Algebra. This is no place for you.

top

Hoodlum

1997

Dutch Schultz: I remember the days when you could get a guy hit for 40 bucks. Mike Salke: We live in inflationary times

top

Hookers In a Haunted House

1999

Bag Job: Back in my day the women were *born* old, ugly and scary.

Alex: Beam me up, Scotty! There's no life on Planet Impotent!

Nerdy John: You've stirred up some vile, hideous, ill-tempered, and excessively butch creatures from beyond the grave... who, by the way, clearly have no comprehension of the term "cinematic continuity".

top

Hoop Dreams

1994

William Gates: People always say to me, "when you get to the NBA, don't forget about me." Well, I should've said back, "if I don't make it to the NBA, don't you forget about me."

top

Hooray for Love

1935

Pat: Oh, I hate the country. I'm afraid of the wildflowers.

top

Hop, Look and Listen

1948

Sylvester: A king-sized mouse! A muscle-bound mastodon!

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Hoppity Hooper

1964

Fillmore: Lets turn out here and fool him! Hoppity Hooper: I Wouldn't If I Were You! Fillmore: How Come? Hoppity Hooper: Look at That Sign! Fillmore: Oh Yeah! Uh... What does it say?

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A Hora da Estrela

1985

Macabea: I am a typist and a virgin, and I like Coca-Cola.

Olimpico: Look, I'll buy you a cup of coffee. Macabea: With milk? Olimpico: What? Macabea: With milk. Olimpico: OK. But if it costs more you pay the difference.

top

Hornblower: The Even Chance

1998 (TV)

Captain Sir Edward Pellew: Damn your impudence, sir!

Midshipman Horatio Hornblower: Fish for it!

top

Horripilante bestia humana, La

1969

Dr Arturo Martinez: Prepare the gorilla.

top

Horror Hayride

1992

Webb Wilder: (rating Briley's art film SLUG TRAIL) I gave it a thumb up; Travis only offered a finger.

top

Horror Incorporated

2002

Uncle Ghoulie: Hey there fright fans!

Carbuncle: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear

Uncle Ghoulie: Gordon... Gordon old man... what do ya say hop on up to the projection booth and spool this baby on up!

top

Horrors of the Black Museum

1959

Bancroft: No woman can hold her tongue. They're a suspicious, unreliable breed!

top

HorrorTales.666

2003 (V)

Shrewish wife: You told me you were going to kill her and get the money!

top

Horse Sense

1999 (TV)

Michael Woods: You wouldn't happen to have any... turkey... bacon, would you? Twister: Bacon comes from pigs, son, not turkey.

top

Horseplayer

1990

George Samsa: Why should I knock myself out over you?

Randi: I'm beginning to feel like your whore.

Bud Cowan: I play the horses, and that's my only vice.

Randi: Sex is not a vice.

Matthew: If you don't come to dinner you'll regret it for the rest of your life.

top

Horton Hears a Who!

1970 (TV)

Narrator, Horton and Dr Hoovey: A person's a person, no matter how small.

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Hostel

2005

(first lines) Josh: Did we come all the way to Europe to get stoned? Oli: Hey, I came all the way from Iceland.

(last lines) Natalya: (after all the credits have roled) I paid alot of money for you, and then make you my bitch.

top

Hot Cars

1956

Detective Davenport: Someone's gonna get their neck barbecued.

Nick Dunn: She is like a hardtop convertible.

top

Hot Chocolate

1992

Hubert de la Canelle: B-B-but you'll never get away with this! I'm a Count! For God's sake! An aristocrat! Dd: You're right, but don't you remember what we did to the aristocrats during the Revolution, huh?

top

Hot Lead and Cold Feet

1978

Roxanne: He's always looking at the good side of people. Marcus: Yeah, but while he's looking at their good side, their bad side is gonna finish him.

top

Hot Millions

1968

Patty: A woman's place is in the home... making money!

(about computers) Caesar: I don't think they get as much fun out of life as we do!

Marcus Pendleton: 'Ere! You watch your tongue! Any idiot can steal. *I* been em-*bezz*-lin'!

top

Hot Stuff

1979

Doug: Ernie, you want a doughnut? Ernie: I'd rather have the money instead!

top

Hot Summer in the City

1976

Duke: Forgot somethin'...

top

Hot Tamales Live: Spicy, Hot and Hilarious

2003 (V)

Nicole Gomez Fisher: Yeah, so I'm allergic to Latex. So you know what that means. basically, safe sex can kill me.

top

Hot to Trot

1988

Don the Horse: Whoa, padded elevators! Fred, you've really made it!

Fred P. Chaney: (about the atrium in his new apartment) What is this a little yard?

top

Hotaru no haka

1988

(first lines) Seita: September 21, 1945... that was the night I died.

(Setsuko's final words) Setsuko: Seita. Thank you.

(last lines) Seita: (to Setsuko) Time for bed.

Setsuko: Why must fireflies die so young?

top

Htel du Nord

1938

Raymonde: Atmosphere, atmosphere, est-ce que j'ai une gueule d'atmosphere?

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Hotel

1967

Peter McDermott: A sure way to empty a hotel fast: drop an elevator.

top

Hounded

2001 (TV)

Jay: Why are you here? You said you'd be home at 600 hours. You're like 500 hours early.

top

Hourglass

1995

Dara Jensen: Are you ready for my tongue?

top

House of Cards

1993

Ruth Matthews: We all go a little crazy sometimes, Doctor. Jake Beerlander: Yes, Ms Matthews, but most of us come back.

top

House of D

2004

(from trailer) Pappass: I'm not retarded anymore. Tom Warshaw: Oh really? Pappass: Really. I went from retarded to challenged.

top

House of the Long Shadows

1983

Stationmaster: It is a cursed place. Kenneth Magee: I'm sure it's drenched in evil. Stationmaster: A cursed place. Kenneth Magee: Filled with things best not spoken of. Yes, I saw the movie. You do know how to get there?

top

House of Usher

1960

Roderick Usher: I suggest you leave, Mr Winthrop. No? Then perish with us.

Philip Winthrop: You have murdered your sister, Mr Usher, and I intend to see that you hang for it. Roderick Usher: Arrange it quickly then. The old house crumbles.

Roderick Usher: See to the crypt, will you?

top

House on Bare Mountain

(1962)

Granny Good: She come from a broken home, it fell from the top of a cliff.

top

Houseboat

1958

Justice of the Peace: That's you Sir. Tom: Who Sir? Me Sir? Justice of the Peace: Yes Sir, you Sir.

top

Household Saints

1993

Vincenzo: Man deals and God stacks the deck.

top

How Awful About Allan

1970 (TV)

(after rescuing his sister from a house fire) Allan: I'm blind.

top

How High Is Up?

1940

Moe: (sarcastically) Three of the best riveters who ever riveted. Why didn't you tell them you were a groundhog? Curly: Listen, you laugh when you say that! Moe: HA, HA, HA. (slaps Curly)

top

How I Saved the World

2001

Catfish: Round is not a round unless it goes all the way around.

top

How I Won the War

1967

Gripweed: And I'm not a thief, really. I've never found anything worth keeping.

top

How to Be a Detective

1952

Goofy: Looks like I'm gettin' to the bottom of this case!

Mortician: Beat it! And don't come back till you're ready!

top

How to Get the Man's Foot Outta Your Ass

2003

Melvin Van Peebles: Is this something negative, Priscilla? Because if it's negative, I can't even deal with it right now. I'm a broke, pissed off nigger from Chicago, and I'm down to my last cigar.

top

How to Make an American Quilt

1995

Finn: Sometimes love simply dies.

Em Reed: To hell if I know where love resides.

top

How to Save a Marriage

And Ruin Your Life (1968)

Mr Slotkin: A bachelor's conscience is a woman's best friend.

top

Howard Zinn: You Can't Be Neutral on a Moving Train

2004

Zinn, Howard: I had a modest goal when I became a teacher. I wanted to change the World.

top

H.R. Pufnstuf

1969

Witchiepoo: With friends like you two, who needs enemies?

(Witchiepoo has been frozen by the North Wind) H.R. Pufnstuf: I've seen Popsicles in my day, but this is the first time that I've ever seen a WITCH-sicle!

top

Hubert Selby Jr: It/ll Be Better Tomorrow

2005

Hubert Selby Jr.: The writer has no right to be there in the work. I don't have any right to impose myself between the people I'm creating on the page and the reader... and that, the responsibility of the artist is to transcend the human ego.

top

Hue and Cry

1947

Felix H. Wilkinson: Oh, how I loathe adventurous-minded boys.

top

Huey Long

1985

Huey Long: I have the pleasure to undertake to describe to you-- (A photographer's flashbulb explodes with a loud bang and a flash. A long pause and laughter from all.) Huey Long: Now you see there? That bomb didn't explode until tonight.

top

Hugo Pool

1997

Franz Mazur: (Franz Mazur has just set fire to his house) De shmoke ish aroushing me!

top

Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam

1999

Vanraj: Can I say something? Nandini: What? Vanraj: I cannot live without you

Sameer: I only ask Nandini from you, but still you cannot grant it!

top

Human Desire

1954

Ellen Simmons: What would you men do if there were no women around to sew your buttons on ? Alec Simmons: Without women we wouldn't need any buttons !

top

Humongous

1982

Tom Rice: (before raping Ida) You're going to feel something now, old maid. You're going to know what you've been missing.

Tom Rice: You doddamn stuck-up bitch. You think you're too good for me. "Don't touch, keep away." The virgin goddamn princess! (slaps Ida)

top

Hunter: Back in Force

2003 (TV)

Hunter: Works for me.

top

Hunter Goes to Hollywood

2003 (V)

(car honks) Hunter S. Thompson: Ahhh! Fuck you!

top

Hunter: The Reckoning

2002 (VG)

(the Hunters have killed a giant demonic teddy bear) Carpenter: That's right. Don't take no shit from anybody's stuffed animal.

top

Hunter

2003

Rick Hunter: Works for me!

top

Hunting for Herschell

2003

Herschell Gordon Lewis: Am I my brother's keeper? Hell no!

top

Hunting Season

2000 (V)

Bird Watcher: Well, I didn't call you stupid! I said you were a fucking moron. If you didn't act like one I wouldn't have to say it!

top

Hurdy Gurdy

1997

Harpo: I'm a organ grinder.

top

Husbands

1970

Gus Demetri: Don't believe truth. Archie, just don't believe truth.

top

Hussard sur le toit, Le

1995

Pauline: They don't fear men since they have started to eat them.

Angelo: Cholera avoids me like the plague.

Angelo: My mother is a duchess who talks only of revolution.

Angelo: Mother, you always wanted me to be more reckless. Today, you would have been proud of me.

top

Hvite bussene, De

1988 (TV)

Little boy: Mamma... mamma

top

HWY: An American Pastoral

1969

The Hitchhiker: Is this T.J. or L.A.? I get mixed up sometime.

top

Hyde and Hare

1955

Bugs Bunny: Well, here we go again with the timid little rabbit routine. It's shameful but, eh, it's a living.

top

Hysterical Blindness

2002 (TV)

Beth: Play anything by Zeppelin, you can't go wrong.

top

I Accuse!

1958

mile Zola: This Esterhazy is one of the most glorious liars that ever drew breath. Why, the authority of it, the poise; the man's a genius!

top

I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang

1932

Pete: I'm hungry. What would you say to a hamburger? James Allen: What would I say to a hamburger? Boy. I'd take Mr Hamburger by the hand and say, "Pal, I haven't seen you for a long, long time."

(last lines) Helen: How do you live? James Allen: I steal.

top

I Am Stamos

2004

Andy Shrub: Fuck you, Stamos, it's my face now!

top

I Am the Cheese

1983

Whipper: What's in the bag? Adam Farmer: Nothing. Whipper: C'mon, what is it? What is it, a bomb? What are you going to do, blow up Marshfield?! Adam Farmer: No, it's a present for my father!

top

I Confess

1953

Otto Keller: I have abused your kindness. You who gave my wife and me a home - even friendship, so wonderful a thing for a refugee, a German, a man without a home.

Fr. Michael William Logan: I never thought of the priesthood as offering a hiding place.

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