Film Dialogue 61

Heart Condition

1990

(Stone, now in spirit form, sneezes) Jack Moony: How can you be sick? You're dead! Napoleon Stone: It's psychological. (Moony laughs.) What's so funny? Jack Moony: A hypochondriac spook.

Heart of America

2003

Daniel Lyne: What's our legacy? We saw, we came, we got pissed on weekly?

HeartBeat: Changing Places

1998 (V)

Jo Rowan: I didn't know you spoke Moose. P.C. Nick Rowan: I told you, I've been trained for this. Jo Rowan: Oh, so while we sat for three months in that flat in Calgary, you were off training to be an animal linguist? P.C. Nick Rowan: After six years of working with Yorkshiremen, it's a piece of cake.

Heartbeat

1992

Sergeant Dennis Iain Merton: (referring to an encounter with David Stockwell) Did a man just drive up with a mouse called George, talk rubbish for ten seconds, then go away again? Jenny Latimer: He did. And we didn't even ask him where we are.

Heartbreakers

1984

Blue: How do you like my paintings? Liliane: You reduce women to objects. Blue: That's called art.

Blue: How come my paintings don't sell? Eli: You paint things people are ashamed to hang on their walls.

Hearts Afire

1992

Lee Ann Starr Folsom: Reed, no one's going to get naked on a party barge in the middle of November!

Hearts and Minds

1974

Daniel Ellsberg: We weren't on the wrong side. We were the wrong side.

Gen William Westmoreland: The Oriental doesn't put the same high price on life as does the Westerner. Life is cheap in the Orient.

George Coker: If it wasn't for the people, it (Viet Nam) would be very pretty

Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker's Apocalypse

1991

Francis Ford Coppola: My movie is not about Vietnam... my movie is Vietnam.

Francis Ford Coppola: There were too many of us, we had access to too much equipment, too much money, and little by little we went insane.

Hearts of the West

1975

Howard Pike: Anyone can say he's a writer. But when someone else says you're a writer, then you're a writer.

Heartstrings

2002

The Salesman: What I have in this briefcase has the power to make a huge difference in your life.

Heaven & Earth

1993

Mama: Tears are God's way of paying you back for what He's taken.

Heaven Help Me, I'm in Love

2005

Butch: That's why I'm havin' you stay... I feel guilty! Besides, I can't let her run my life. Stu: Now you're talkin', bro. Butch: I'm gonna call you James while she's here though, okay?

Heaven!

1993

Ced: Ain't no God around here.

Heaven or Vegas

1999

Rachel: Wow! We're going to Missouri! Navy: Montana. Rachel: Wow! We're going to Montana!

Heaven

1998

Robert Marling: I'm the chairman of the fuckin' board!

Heaven

2002

Philippa: I don't want to escape punishment. I've killed four innocent people and I want to answer for that, but before I do, I want to kill him.

Heavenly Days

1944

Fibber McGee: That guy tosses eight cent stamps around like they were made of paper.

(The contents of Fibber McGee's closet cascade onto the floor again) Fibber McGee: Gotta straighten out that closet one of these days.

Fibber McGee: I don't wish to be disturbed... unless the phone rings, or somebody wants to see me.

Hector

1987

Hector: En de pater kwam dichter, en dichter, en dichter, en dichter...

Hector: Nog choco!

Hei lu

1972

Hei Lu: We can take care of you. Be no trouble at all!

Hei tai yang 731

1988

Dr Shiro Ishii: A small rat can beat a cat. Fleas and germs can defeat bombers and guns. This is... the basic theory behind Squadron 731. It is also my philosophy.

Heidi Fleiss: Hollywood Madam

1995 (TV)

Heidi Fleiss's mother: I bet a lot of people who came down on prostitution, say "I'd like to make $1,500 a night."

Heidi Fleiss: Any guy over 40 looks good to me!

Heidi Fleiss: I just realized there were young pretty girls around and a lot of rich men.

Heidi

1937

Andrews, the Butler: (upon seeing a monkey) My word, a gorilla!

Heisei tanuki gassen pompoko

1994

Narrator: They used their balls as weapons in a brave kamikaze attack.

Held Up

1999

Rusty: Puffy is rough He is Tough and will kick your ass westside!

Helden

1958

Fiancee: We meet at dawn behind the village... and bring your sword. Bluntschli: I'm an artilleryman - I'll bring my cannon.

Hell Comes to Frogtown

1987

Sam Hell: Hey, you try making love in a hostile, mutant environment, see how you like it.

Bull: (to Sam) I gotta tell you, you are one weird dude.

Hell House

2001

Jason: Help me. Please help me. Giant: You better mind your own business, or you're next!

Hell on the Battleground

1989

Colonel Meredith: Casey and Lance could escape all the danger. Two fighting machines with muscles made out of steel and bones made out of granite. Soldiers never ask where or when to fight, no matter if they are in the desert or in the jungle, if it's day or night. Casey and Lance are laughing right in the face of the devil!

HellBent

2004

Eddie: Two guys got murdered in their car last night. Chaz: Were they boning each other? Eddie: Yes, Chaz, they were boning each other. Chaz: Ha ha! At least they died doing it, right?

Hellfighters

1968

Chance Buckman: (referring to the fact that Greg brings a girl to a different fire) What did you use for openers this time, the old headache gag? Why, you poor man, perhaps if I rubbed your neck? Greg Parker: True - every word, true. But it works. Chance Buckman: Can't say I blame you. A fellow as ugly as you are probably couldn't get to first base without a fire.

Hellmaster

1992

Joel Johnson: When do you have time for the CRIPPLE?

Joel Johnson: My handicap was born, yours was chosen.

Shelly O'Deane: These THINGS are controlled by drugs!

Professor Jones: If God created this world in six days, and I can make hell of it in one night, then God must be dead.

Hello How Am I

1939

Popeye: Hamburgers is me favorite dish!

Popeye: How can one person be two persons and yet be the same person?

Popeye: If I'm not me, who am I? And if I'm somebody else, why do I look like me?

Hellraiser: Hellseeker

2002 (V)

Pinhead: Welcome to the worst nightmare of all... reality!

Pinhead: All problems solved? It's not that easy.

(as he sticks Trevor in the back of the neck with a pin) Pinhead: Which do you find more exhilarating, Trevor, pain or pleasure? Personally, I prefer pain.

Hellroller

1992 (V)

Eugene's Aunt: I should have aborted you!

Eugene's Aunt: You know, I should have aborted you. I should just get a cat or a dog. You're an ingrate.

Michelle Novak: I do it with men, not apes! Why don't you get yourself a rubber doll?

Lizzy: He's got a wheelchair and an attitude. He's like a real hellroller, ain't ya crip.

Hell's Angels

1930

Helen: Would you be shocked if I put on something more comfortable?

Hell's Crossroads

1957

Jesse James: Frank, Bob, on your way. Cole, take your time. Cole Younger: All right, Jess. Jesse James: Shall we drift? Vic Rodell: Why not?

Hell's Highway

2002/II (V)

Lucindia Polonia: Now it's *your* turn to die!

Jack: I have a part that you'd be perfect for.

Monique: This is the worst trip ever!

Hell's House

1932

Peggy Gardner: If you'd give the kid a chance, Kelly, he might amount to something, instead of always thinking about yourself.

Hell's Kitchen

2004

Himself - Head Chef: *That's* how you make a risotto!

Himself - Head Chef: Dirty bowl, dirty bowl!

Helpline!

2004

caller: I don't think women should be forced to wear shirts.

caller: Is there something wrong with me?

Helsinki Napoli All Night Long

1987

Alex: (climbing into his lorry to find the kidnappers) A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Hemo the Magnificent

1957 (TV)

Hemo: What better way to love thy neighbor, than to heal thy neighbor?"

Henpecked Hoboes

1946

Junior: Hello George George: OK JUNIOR BENDOVA!

Henry & June

1990

June Miller: It's a distortion. Henry, Look at me! Look! You can't see me or anyone as they are! I wanted Dostoyevsky!

Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, Part 2

1998

Kai: She is a great artist. Henry, you have to see her drawings. They're wild. Makes you wonder what's going on in that head of hers.

Henry VI, Part Three

1983 (TV)

Edward IV: Sound drums and trumpets! Farewell, sour annoy; For here I hope begins our lasting joy!

Richard, Duke of Gloucester: (Referring to Edward IV) Would he were wasted: marrow, bones and all; That from his loins no hopeful branch might spring To cross me from the golden time I look for.

Henry VI, Part Two

1983 (TV)

Dick the Butcher: The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

Her Alibi

1989

Nina: This is how we drive in Romania!

Her Knight

2003

Anne: I thought he was my Justinian.

Herbie Goes Bananas

1980

Pete Staniczek: Why do keep calling this car Ocho? Paco: Five and Three are eight. Anyone knows that.

Paco: What's Your Name? Paco: Que? Paco: I just call you Ocho, okay?

Here Come the Co-eds

1945

Oliver Quackenbush: I really don't like dancing because it's nothing but hugging set to music. Woman in Trailer: What don't you like about it? Oliver Quackenbush: The music.

Here Comes Dr Tran

2003

Narrator: Oh, my God, look at that fat cock! (cut to rooster walking in front of Dr Tran) Narrator: Sorry Doctor... that was fucked up.

Here Comes Garfield

1982 (TV)

Garfield: (after rudely waking Jon up) Good morning sunshine. Welcome to another fun-filled day with your favorite pet.

Garfield: So this is what it feels like to be potato salad.

Here Comes Mr Jordan

1941

Messenger 7013: I have an idea, Mr Jordan, couldn't have him reborn?

Joe Pendleton: I don't want anybody's body. I want my body!

Here Comes the Groom

1951

Emmadel Jones: No, I'm not going to live Ma's life all over again, waiting on shore for a sailor who comes to land every three years. It's like being married to a salmon!

Baines: Shall I break your egg, Sir? Pa Jones: No thank you. I have me own teeth!

Herman Enciclopédia

1997

Diácono Remédios: O artista é um bom artista, não havia necessidade...

Hermes Bird

1979

Narrator: This is the secret that will not stay hidden.

Hero and the Terror

1988

Man at food stand: (Danny O'Brien is undercover and acting like a short order cook when he gets an unsatisfied customer) These are the worst eggs I've ever had, man! Danny O'Brien: Wait till you try the toast.

Héroes y demonios

1999

Gabriel: ¡Los derechos no se negocian! ¡Los derechos no se negocian!

Herr Puntila und sein Knecht Matti

1955

Herr Puntila: Let's talk about something human - let's talk about money.

He's Harry, But Aren't We All

2003

Mr Harris: Well, who's next on my list? Harriet: Um, Harold in printing. Seems he was overheard in the break room calling you a dickhead. Mr Harris: Well. Call him in.

Hexen

1995 (VG)

(Korax's first words of discouragement to the player) Korax: Greetings Mortal, are you ready to die?

Korax: Worship me, and I may yet be merciful. Then again, maybe not.

Korax: You have played this game too long, Mortal. I think I shall remove you from the board.

Hey Cinderella

1969 (TV)

King: Featherstone, is that coach being pulled by a purple shaggy monster? And is that a frog driving? Featherstone: I'm afraid it is, sire. King: Oh, thank heavens. I thought I was seeing things.

Hey Mr DJ

2005

Ryan: What if I say no? Jerome Jackson: We'll get to that.

H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds

2005/I

George Herbert: I'm just here to find out if there were any survivors in D.C. Lt Samuelson: No survivors. Everything's been wiped out. President, senators, generals, even the little fucking dish boy at the Denny's down at the Mall. Gone.

Hi-Life

1998

April: What do you want for Christmas? Ray: (whispers) You. April: What? Ray: I want you for Christmas. April: Good, because then I don't have to shop... and I'll be fun to unwrap.

April: It's time to put your dick on the chopping block. Ray: Good mouth! April: I'm trying to be more colorful.

Hi-Yah!

2002

Gramma: I don't see why you're so set on beating boys up when you could be dating them.

Hiawatha's Rabbit Hunt

1941

Hiawatha: I'm gonna catch me a rabbit, and I'm a-gonna put him in this pot. This pot right here. Yeah-uh-yeah! Yeah-uh-yeah! That's JUST what I'm gonna do!

Hick Trek 2: The Next Aggravation

2005 (V)

Jordash: (talking about Mister Beta) He's not a man *or* a girl, he ain't got the parts... ya know, like Michael Jackson.

Hidden Agenda

2001

Sam Turgenson: We can do this the easy way or the hard way Jason Price: Is that pillow talk Sam?!

Jason Price: Rival agencies sharing a private moment, how touching!

Hidden Hills

2002

Doug Barber: They're going to have sex and they left us to baby-sit their kids. Plus, they got drunk off our wine. I feel dirty.

Doug Barber: Honey... I was kidding, you don't look anywhere near 40. You're only 39... but you look 38 (Janine leaves without saying a word) Doug Barber: Oh my God, she's 37.

Hidden Valley Outlaws

1944

Bannon: I never did like actors. My wife ran off with one. But I still don't like 'em.

Hideaway

1995

Jonas: Even as a child, Jeremy was psychotic, but he was my son!

(After dying in a car crash and being brought back to life an hour later) Hatch Harrison: Now, was I supposed to turn into the skid?

Vassago: I've seen you. Regina: No, I don't think so. Vassago: Oh yes, I have seen you. It was like a flash forward in time. You're beautiful. Perfect.

High Chaparall

2003

Steve-O: If we don't teach the Swedish kids to blow up a microwave... they may never know.

Filip Hammar: What's your opinion on prostitutes? Vince Neil: They're great when you need them.

Filip Hammar: What's your opinion on prostitutes? Dennis Rodman: They're basically like whores.

High Risk

1981

Dan: Look, we've got four million dollars. We could put Donald Duck in the White House.

High School Big Shot

1959

Harry March: I am a thief, not a crook.

High School Confidential!

1958

Tony Baker: If you flake around with the weed, you'll end up using the harder stuff.

High Sierra

1941

Roy Earle: I wouldn't give you two cents for a dame without a temper.

Marie Garson: Yeah, I get it, 'ya always sorta hope 'ya can get out, it keeps 'ya going.

'Doc' Banton: Roy, this is the land of milk and honey for the health racket. Every woman in California thinks she's either too fat or too thin or too something.

High Spirits with Shirley Ghostman

2005

Shirley Ghostman: (Possessed) Colonel Sanders!

High Stakes

1986

Bo Baker: Luckily, I blocked her kick with my balls.

Higher and Higher

1943

Cyrus Drake: Would you say I was inebriated last night? Byngham: Oh no, sir. Although you did have Whiffen cook you six pancakes and you spent an hour trying to play them on the Victrola. Cyrus Drake: Mmm... how'd they sound? Byngham: Much better after you put the syrup on.

Highwaymen

2003

(last lines) Fargo: Who are you supposed to be? Will Macklin: Will Macklin. State traffic investigator.

Hijacked: Flight 285

1996 (TV)

Peter Cronin: You get this plane in the air or I'm gonna put a bullet in his head!

Hip Hip Hora!

2004

Sebbe: (about doing handjobs) Just think about it as a ketchup bottle, and you have to get the ketchup out.

Hippety Hopper

1949

Bulldog: Nobody hits a guy with glasses. Of course, I could be wrong.

(last lines) Bulldog: Any time a mouse can pin my ears back, I'll take ballet lessons!

Hips, Hips, Hooray!

1934

Miss Frisby: Two minds and a single thought. Dr Dudley: Yes, it's about all they can handle at one time.

Hiroshima mon amour

1959

Elle: You're destroying me. You're good for me.

Historia oficial, La

1985

Roberto: Where's Gaby, Alicia? Alicia: Is terrible, Roberto. Roberto: What is terrible? Alicia: Not to know where's your daughter.

Historyonics

2004

(Nick and Queen Mary are walking through a Tudor garden) Mary, Queen of Scots: At least I can take comfort from the fact that the Spanish had an Amarda to invade England after my death (turns to Nick) How did that go, by the way? Presenter: Aah...

Hit Man

1972/I

Tyrone Tackett: You two for a nickel, jive time, freak time whore.

Hit Man

1983

Rod Roddy: If you would like to be a contestant on "Hit Man," forget it! And now, back to Peter Tomarken!

Hit Me

1996

Lenny Ish: What is the *worst* thing that you have ever done? Sonny Rose: Me? Uh, uh... I don't really know. Lenny Ish: That means you haven't done it yet.

Billy Tungpet: I know you men. You are all sailing to the edge of the world like empty ships.

Hit the Deck

1955

Chief Boatswain's Mate William F. Clark: Ginger, baby, I worship the ground you walk on! Ginger: Now he's talking real estate!

Susan Smith: This morning I had four men fighting over me. Now I've got nothing.

Hit the Ice

1943

Weejie 'Tubby' McCoy: Hey! Where's the fire? Mac: In your eyes.

Hit the Road

1941

(Assistant D.A. Paul Revere Smith finally meets his girlfriend's father, who was just released from prison) Paul Revere Smith: I've been marking my day's off the calendar. James J. Ryan: Yeah, I've been doin' the same myself.

(To Tom, the leader of the Little Tough Guys) Molly Ryan: You've got a swell chance to steer your mob right. Don't muff it!

Hjælp - min datter vil giftes

1993

Knud: (to Erik - Peter Schrøder) What's the matter? You look like someone put a pencil up your hamster's ass and used it as a bottle cleaner.

Hobgoblins

1987

McCreedy: The creatures!... I tried... to tell you... all my hard work... gone...

Nick: Must be a new dance... Its pretty kinky.

Roadrash: Must have been a rowdy crowd tonight.

Hoboken Hollow

2005

Clayton: I ain't never worked on no ranch before. Is it hard? Andrew Gates: It's torture.

Clayton: Live from the bunkhouse, it's torture time!

Hockey Homicide

1945

Narrator: Here come Bertino and Ferguson out of the penalty box... and there go Bertino and Ferguson back in the penalty box.

Hogan Knows Best

2005

Linda Hogan: (Brooke is wearing a shirt saying "They're Real) Hulk, look at her shirt! Hulk Hogan: What's real? Your padded bra?