Film Dialogue 48
The Narrator: Sometimes, when you're upset, it helps to hug-a-monkey.
Brian Morley: You're the real hero, aren't you? Georgia Rattray: Rescue doesn't work that way. If you want to be a hero, join Special Operationa and shoot somebody.
Carlos: The problem is that you know what we look like.
(making conversation around a campfire) Donna: So, how's your weiner?
(watching green slime hop from place to place in the swamp) Bill: Probably just a fish or something.
Pony: You know that feeling when you're falling asleep and ya jump awake 'cause you dreamt you slipped on a stair? Well, it's like if you stayed in the slip - if ya dove right down into it and held your breath till you came out the other end.
Pooh's Heffalump Halloween Movie
Lumpy: I want to go home. Roo: What if we leave now... Roo: You will miss out how great Halloween is.
Tigger: We've gotta catch the Gabloon!
Father Nicholas: Knickers bum knickers.
Popeye for President
Bluto: Now get in there and vote for... Popeye?! Popeye: Yeah!
Popeye: What we need is bigger elephinks in all our zoos!
Popeye: Here's me past record, folks, which speaks for itself.
PC: Party! Get your hand out of my pouch.
Penny: Did you bring an extra apple for school? Bonnie: I sure did Penny I hope you brought an extra sandwich.
Professor Eustace McGargle: Ah, what a charming little lean-to!
Professor Eustace McGargle: And if we should ever separate, my little plum, I want to give you one little piece of fatherly advice. Poppy: Yes Pop. Professor Eustace McGargle: Never give a sucker an even break.
Young cannibal: I killed my father, I ate human flesh, and I quiver with joy.
Mertz: I was sad because I had no shoes. Until I met a man... who had no socks.
Dullard: Words... can't describe how close he was.
Porky in Wackyland
Porky Pig: Oh b-b-boy! I caught the l-last D-D-Do-Do! The Do-Do: Yes, I'm really the last of the Do-Dos. Ain't I, fellas? (hundreds of Do-Dos surround Porky) Other Do-Dos: Yeah, man! Woooooooooo!
Porky Pig's Feat
Daffy Duck: (after the manager falls down an almost endless flight of stairs) I guess I showed that overstuffed turnip. Broken Arms Hotel Manager: (Appears wearing bandages) WHAT? Daffy Duck: Yipe. Porky Pig: M-m-me too. Yipe.
Louise: "I love you" is such an inadequate way of saying I love you. It doesn't quite describe how much it hurts sometimes.
David Sutton: The mathematical chances of you killing me are very slim.
Louise: I can be very objectionable.
The postal dude: Oh, did that hurt?
The postal dude: Only my weapons understand me.
Pote tin Kyriaki
Homer: It's extraordinary! Where do you learn all those languages? Illya: In bed.
(repeated line) Redvers Potter: Potter mints the hotter mints.
Prof. Bentine: Hello and a very warm welcome to... (points off camera) Clarence: (runs on panting with a clapperboard) Michael Bentine's Potty Time! Take One! Cor! Prof. Bentine: Thank you Clarence. Beautifully done, as always.
Poupes russes, Les
Xavier: Mr Everyman is seldom met in... everyday life.
Xavier: If I were you I would call me.
Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue
Carter: Why do you always have to be the center of attention? Joel Rawlings: Well, I don't have to be; it's just that I usually am.
Power Rangers Time Force - Quantum Ranger: Clash for Control
Eric Myers: Listen and learn Brickneck. I'm not just any Power Ranger. Not by a long shot. I am the Quantum Ranger. Brickneck: I don't care what you call yourself. But I call you destroyed!
Arnold Billings: (about Pete and Ellen, slamming phone down) They are now in his room fucking.
Mary Holland: MARK! Mark: Is that a mad scientist? Mary Holland: No, but I'll be a grumpy one if we're late!
Preaching to the Perverted
Tanya Cheex: Eugenie, stop electrocuting Peter!
Frank: You like threatening women? Rico Sarno: A little bit.
Pressing the Flesh
Jessica: Death is one of life's occupationall hazards. Your mother was well aware of the consequences when she hired me. Aidan: Susan has a fantastic sense of humour, a great ass and she hasn't eaten meat in 14 years.
Receptionist: Goodbye, Mr Richards! And keep that chin up!
Kei: Children are so innocent.
Himeno: (yelling at Hayate) I called you stupid because you're stupid, *stupid*!
(on sex) Sue Ann Stepanek: You know, when grown-ups do it, it's kind of dirty. That's because there's no one to punish them.
Torch: And the party grinds to an ugly halt... Yuko: We can still play Twister! Torch: Exactly what drugs are you on?
Mr Twill: And this?... Miss Von Hooten? Miss Von Hooten: Salad fork? Mr Twill: Salad fork?!? Does this look like a salad fork? You silly cow.
(first lines of the series' initial episode "Roaring Camp") Narrator: Each year many of the new shows developed for television fail to make the network grade even though they are entertaining and well-produced. Tonight's pilot film is one of these. We invite you behind the scenes to see what you think of "Roaring Camp" on "Preview Tonight."
Pride and Prejudice
Mary Bennet: It's been my experience, that an event looked forward to with much impatient desire, does not always brings its promised satisfaction.
Elizabeth Bennet: We all love to instruct, though we teach only what is not worth knowing.
(Friends are making plans how to avoid a music lesson.) Gusev: Let's break the piano. Syroezhkin: No, they'll get a new one.
Old Timer: How 'bout this: if you hear the siren, there ain't a fire.
Dr Lasser: Now I know your'e not a stupid boy.
Writer: He will pay me with his life !
Prince of the City
Internal Affairs Agent: Are you threatening me? Daniel Ciello: Absolutely
Sir Gawain: You were a young fool. But I was an old fool, which is worse.
Prince Harry: Abso-bloody-lutely
King Gama: Oh, don't the days seem lank and long / When all goes right and nothing goes wrong, / And isn't your life extremely flat / With nothing whatever to grumble at.
Princess Nine kisaragi joshi kou yakuu-bu
Nene Mori: In comic books, this is where the helper hits an unexpected home run.
Capt Doreen Lewis: (singing) Happy days are here again! No more Private Ben-jamin...
Myrna "Jinx" Winslow: Jack, when are you going to use your head for something besides a place to put your hat?
Private Dicks: Men Exposed
Jonah: I'm nine-and-a-half inches soft, LEGITIMATELY.
Hiwayne Suggs: Did I ever show you a picture of my sweet thing, Mr Wilder? There she is, that's her. Webb Wilder: (narrating) I didn't think even Mars needed women *that* bad. Pristine Suggs was un-volumptuous.
Private Eye Popeye
Popeye: Just as I thought! It's the bukler!
Jack Cleary: Do you love her? Johnny Betts: To the extent it hurts.
Dottie: (after being asked if she was getting any decent work) You mean something a human being can do without being housed down afterwards?
Female: Did you find him? Jonesy: Well, you could say that.
Jonesy: You crazy kid.
Emanuelle Griffith: Men will tell you anything they want you to hear.
Richard Tate: When you deal with Richard, you're dealing with style, class and elegance.
(About the German plan to destroy the British economy by flooding the country with forged 5 notes) Major Neuheim: This could revolutionize the whole concept of war finance. It could become possible to fight a war entirely at the expense of the enemy.
Displayed after a match is won: A winner is you!
(About the victory of the Czech football team.) Grayson: There'll be Czechs bouncing in the streets of Prague tonight.
Anderson: I wouldn't be nervous about flying if the wings didn't wag. Solid steel. Thick as a bank safe. Flexing like tree branches. It's not natural.
Glory Eden: I wanna sin and suffer, and now I'm only sufferin'.
Glory Eden: I want a playboy. Samuel Ipswich: A what? Glory Eden: An international playboy. All the girls got 'em. I think they're cute.
The Girl: Who are you? David Locke: I used to be someone else but I traded him in.
Nicols Estrella: I don't need your pity. I need my hairpiece!
(About his wife's abduction by aliens) Dr Craig Burton: Why would they do this? Dr Bert Clavell: I don't know. Who can know? What do you figure animals think about when we experiment on them?
Project A-Ko 3: Cinderella Rhapsody
(C-ko's plan for spring break.) C-ko: I'm gonna wear my yellow bunny undies!
Geeker: An enemy is only a friend that wants to kill you.
Geeker: I've got an idea for a story about a guy in a yellow jumpsuit who's allergic to floors.
GeeKeR: "Becky, can I have a chocolate monkey?"
Noah: This can't possibly be good...
(last lines) Teri: You're free. Go on. Go on.
Kim Hammond: You seem a little anxious, Wendy. By the way, who are going with tonight? Wendy Richards: It's not who you go with, honey. It's who takes you home.
Prom Queen: The Marc Hall Story
Marc Hall: I like other guys... men... Emily Hall: Yes, I know, I know. Marc Hall: You... You know? Emily Hall: Marc. Your hair. It's blue. And you have a poster of Celine Dion on your wall. We know.
Sal: Open Your Eyes. I want you to look at me before I kill you.
Protek the Weakerist
Popeye: Peekingneeses is weak in the knees and I don't like these, you sees?
Popeye: You're an anemic dog and I likes bloodhounds, you see.
(Popeye has been slammed into a brick wall) Popeye: Oh, I'm mortarfied!
(after shooting an old lady on the stairs) Slick: Next time take the elevator.
(interviewing a hostage's wife) TV reporter: When do you think they'll kill your husband?
Machine Gun Joe: They don't call me Machine Gun Joe for nothing.
Terrorism expert: I'm afraid we Americans don't know how to be good hostages.
Sammy Silverstein: (to Louise) Eat my butt.
Louise Harrington: (after her ex-husband has confessed his sexual addiction to her) You're on "Step 9," aren't you? You're making amends? I fucking *hate* "Step 9" with a passion!
PSI Factor: Chronicles of the Paranormal
Matt Praeger: Between doing her hair in ponytails and swooning over the Backstreet Boys, it seems my daughter's been dabbling in witchcraft. But apparently it's okay, see, because it's the good kind.
Le patient: I'm afraid my anus will crack and make star-shaped excrement. It's part of my fear of America.
Dave: It's all just one big plastic hassle.
Stoney: C'mon, man! Warren's freakin' out at the gallery!
Dave: Reality is a deadly place. I hope this trip is a good one.
Psyched by the 4D Witch
A Tale of Demonology (1972)
The Witch: Let's fantasy fuck now!
Vickers: "You should have listened to Doug!"
Vickers: "Looking for a cop?" Caretaker: "It can't be!" Vickers: " But it is!!!"
Bosujima: If you want me to take the job, don't break into my room, don't write "Fuck Off" on my walls in blood, and do not kill my dog.
Sawada: Why don't you just stay down?
Psycho from Texas
(first lines) Phillips: Boy, I'll pick you up about same time tomorrow, little before daybreak. Boy: Yes, sir, I'll be ready. Phillips: All right, maybe we'll catch some fish this time and we'll have better luck. Boy: Yes sir.
(last lines) Wheeler: Momma? Momma, please don't hurt me momma!
Sheila: The cornfield protects those who protect it.
Hammond: Save the speeches for the cadets at the academy, Jones.
Norman Bates: A boy's best friend is his mother.
Norman Bates: We all go a little crazy sometimes.
Psychos in Love
Joe: I hate grapes! I can't stand grapes! I loathe grapes! All kinds of grapes! I hate purple grapes! I hate green grapes! I hate grapes with seeds! I hate grapes without seeds! I hate them peeled and non-peeled! I hate grapes in bunches, one at a time, or in groups of twos and threes! I fucking hate grapes!
Tezo: I don't do forests.
Angie: (teasing) Professor Lovecraft...
Captain Bergin: Now, keep your mouth shut, or your teeth won't make the rest of the trip!
Kate "Ma" Barker: You said, "Dead by Christmas." Is that the kind of chance you're talking about? Melvin Purvis: You can't believe everything you read in the papers. I'm the F.B.I., not a bounty hunter. Herman Barker: No difference.
Tony Burke: Good, sound, honest work will be appreciated in the end! Flip Lane: Well, who the heck wants to wait 'til the end?
Puerto Rican Mambo
Not a Musical (1993)
Luis: You see, because the only thing you think about when you see us is "squeegies, buckets and suds".
Gmt ctr boss, cashier commercial: Attention shoppers, there is a Puerto Rican browsing in aisle 7. Gmt ctr boss, cashier commercial: If you see the Puerto Rican browsing, do not be alarmed. Please remain calm.
Foghorn Leghorn: You don't want a chicken, son. Pete Puma: I don't? Foghorn Leghorn: No, you want a *chicken*!
Foghorn Leghorn: That boy's as thick as a whale sandwich.
Hitman: I gotta kah!
Mickey King: (voice-over) I am famous for such books as "My Gun is Long". I have many aliases. I am authors Susan Eager and Paul S. Coming. I am those and others. I am Paul Strong, Gary Rough and Les B. Han.
Old man: I heard a man on TV one time say that paranoia, is just another word for heightened awareness
Carolyn McDuffy: I'm feeling pain, Pumpkin, for the first time in my life. And now I know how it feels. It feels like everything inside me is shattered, like a broken mirror.
Pumpkin Romanoff: I'm not special, and I'm not retarded.
Punk Rock Holocaust
Belial: Remember, infected piercings give you credibility.
Puppet Master 4
Toulon: I am with you, Puppet Master!
Toulon: And the timeless secrets of Osiris will once again animate the lifeless!
Andre Toulon: The magic that gives my puppets life was stolen from a tribe of ancient, Egyptian sorcerers, who pledged their legiance to the demon lord, Zutek.
(final episode. Clarabell speaks for the only time in the show's history) Clarabell the Clown: Goodbye, kids.
Roger: I'm going to waste away right here. Nichol: Yeah, right. Even you can't starve THAT fast.
Tiita: (speaking to Elysse, who so far hasn't said a word) By the way, what's your name? I can't keep calling you "hey you!" all the time!
Eugene Proctor: Fish what I wanted
Eugene Proctor: I am trained in martial arts. Judo, aikido, karate. The first thing they teach you is self-control. If someone calls you a jerk, you don't him them. You just walk away. Large Man: Jerk. Eugene Proctor: ... Ah! See? Complete control. Large Man: Moron! (Eugene walks into a door)
Simon Puritan: Have you heard about the 4th dimension?
Jonathan Grey: I'll see myself out.
Wehrmacht Lieutenant: They never told me you were S.S. Helmut von Schraeder: It puts me above suspicion.
SS-Oberfuhrer Mittendorf: Colonel, I'm not impressed by your family pedigree or your Knight's Cross! I lost my eye in a battle that really counted. Fighting in the streets to establish the Nazi Party! Helmut von Schraeder: Most... admirable.
James A. Prufrock: Grace, how far away is Push, Nevada?
Milo: (about Little Mohammed) King Kong of Copenhagen!
Bjrn: You're quite insatiable, you're like Imelda Marcos and her shoes, but with sex!
Putting It Together
The Wife: Why watch me die like Eliza on the ice?... Take back the cake, burn the shoes, and boil the rice!
The Wife: Marriage, what's a marriage? It's a prehistoric ritual where everybody promises fidelity forever which is maybe the most terrifying word I've ever heard.
Puzzle of a Downfall Child
Lou Andreas Sand: I like your hair like that. All the men nowadays are growing their hair long. It's fabulous... *but*, you all look like Jesus! So how will we know him when he arrives?
Marc: Human beings are such pitiable creatures. They cry at birth, they cry at death, and they cry while chopping onions.
Vijay: Apne shauk ke liye pyaar karti hai aur apne aaram ke liye pyar bechti hai. (Love, for her, is a hobby that she can barter for material pleasures)
Ari: Would you like... Sam: To fuck? Ari: No, a drink.
Ari: Think pure thoughts. Sam: I'm not wearing any undies.
A Pyromaniac's Love Story
Garet: I belong in a maximum security prison for men! Augh!
Garet: When it comes to love, my friend, women cannot be trusted. They say one thing, they mean another. They're evil. They're the most evil of all creatures.