top

Million Dollar Mystery

1987

Tugger: Why did he have a paper-shredder this big anyway? Stuart: Well, he worked for the government, didn't he.

top

A Million to Juan

1994

Juan Lopez: All the American citizens I know are illegal.

Jorge: What is it that every Chicano family needs and very few have? Juan Lopez: Birth control. Jorge: Chicano celebrity totem poles.

top

Mind Games

2003

Brian Reeves: People tell tall tales.

Brian Reeves: Do you make Cherry Cokes the old fashioned way, with a little splash of grenadine?

Elizabeth Greene: This isn't a bar, so we won't be drinking, and you won't be picking me up.

top

Minder: An Officer and a Car Salesman

1988 (TV)

DS Rycott: Being a police officer is a 24-hour a day operation. Villains don't work to a time table. DC Jones: They do if they're planning a train robbery.

Arthur Daley: A friend in need is a pest.

top

Minder on the Orient Express

1985 (TV)

Terry: Did you clock the geezer with the gold Hampsteads?

top

Minds of Terror

2003 (V)

Doctor: She's my little soldier that I have created to rid the world of pathetic people like yourself!

Bobby: All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy... It's from a movie!

Bobby: Don't call me Bobby!

Andy: I think we should split up and cover more ground. What? I was thinking of horror movie cliches that would surely get us killed.

top

Mine All Mine

2004

Max Vivaldi: Swansea is mine. It's my inheritance.

top

Mine Own Executioner

1947

Barbara Edge: There's nothing worse than a man who makes you take off your self-respect, and keep your clothes on.

top

Minnie and Moskowitz

1971

Seymour Moskowitz: If you think of yourself as funny, you become tragic.

Seymour Moskowitz: I think about you so much, I forget to go to the bathroom!

top

Minnie's Yoo Hoo

1930

Mickey: Now the second verse! Louder!

top

Minor Difficulties

1999

Chris Kantwin: I'll give you fifty bucks for your driver's license. Wait a minute. Let me get this straight. You just let the middle school spirit squad out of here with enough liquor to numb every nut in Nederland, and you're gonna card me?

top

A Minute with Stan Hooper

2003

Stan Hooper: I just want to live a normal life. Gary: Well you came to the wrong place.

top

Mio nome Nessuno, Il

1973

Jack Beauregard: When you're up to your nose in shit, keep your mouth shut.

top

Miracle

2000/I

Young Lady: A person only buys what the heart cannot give for free... now pay me fifty.

top

Mirror Images II

1994 (V)

Carrie: I've got an overheated everything - just like mother.

Terrie: I DON'T abhor sex!

top

Mischief Destroy

2003 (V)

Ehren McGhehey: (singing) On the road again. Yeah, I'm just ready to get on the road again. I was BOOOORN READY! (laughs) I should make that into a song. I was BOOOORN READY!

top

Misrables, Les

1935

Jean Valjean: How do you know I won't kill you in your sleep? Bishop Bienvenu: How do you know I won't kill YOU in YOUR sleep?

top

Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters

1985

Isao: By turning one's life into a line of poetry written in a splash of blood.

Yukio Mishima: I come out on the stage determined to make people weep. Instead, they burst out laughing.

top

Miss Firecracker

1989

Delmount Williams: Please, don't make me treat you like dogs. I don't want to treat you like common dogs.

Carnelle Scott: Well, you know, they say we all gonna be dyin' some day. I believe it, too.

top

Miss Jerry

1894

Hamilton: What a wonderful thing a woman's hat is... Somehow it seems to symbolize the marvelous complexity of her own personality.

top

Miss Julie

1986 (TV)

John: It is dangerous to play with fire. Julie: Not for me. I'm insured.

top

Miss Match

2003

Kate Fox: Sometimes confronting the past is the only way to move on.

top

Miss Pacific Fleet

1935

Landlady: Sorry for protruding, Mr Wiggins, but you're wanted on the phone.

top

Miss Winslow and Son

1979

Harold Neistadter: (to a guest of Miss Winslow after incessant playing and singing of Stephen Foster songs) You can take Old Black Joe, send him Way Down Upon the Swanee River, and put him in the Cold Cold Ground. Doodah! Doodah!

top

Missing in Action 2: The Beginning

1985

Colonel Braddock: You really didn't think I'd leave... without making sure you were dead?

Colonel Yin: You lose!

top

Missing in America

2005

Jake: I'm not going to explain some damn thing to you that you'd never understand anyhow.

top

Mission: Impossible

1988

Max Harte: (viewing tons of gold) It must have taken a dozen men and lifting equipment to get it down here. How will we get it out? Grant Collier: Give me fifteen minutes.

top

Mission Kashmir

2000

Hilal Kohistani: Time, death, and religion doesn't wait for anybody.

top

Mississippi Masala

1991

Jammubhai: I'm ashamed of you! I am so ashamed of you! Anil: Why do you always take their (Meena's family's) side? I worked hard for this motel and I am NOT running a charity! Jammubhai: Anil, you have become American. Anil: So what? I'm living in America! You don't like it? Then go back to India!

top

Mister Sterling

2003

Jackie Brock: Do you know what you're doing here? Do you? Or is this just some crazy roller coaster ride to nowhere that's gonna make us all look like idiots?

top

Misty Beethoven: The Musical!

2004 (V)

Misty Beethoven: You can fuck the world, or you can fuck the one you love.

top

Moby Dick

1930

Faith Mapple: (to Capt Ahab) Why... Why, Ahab Creely! You're crying!

top

Modern Inventions

1937

Robot Butler: Your hat, Sir!

top

Mohabbatein

2000

Narayan Shankar: Didn't I tell you Mr Aryan, pain always emerge victorious the battle between love and pain? Raj Aryan: I am sorry Mr Narayan Shankar, but from where I am standing, you have lost.

Narayan Shankar: I don't like changes.

top

Mohandas & Bette: A Love Story

2003

Gandhi: Our favorite little haunt Sanjay's has shut down. I had such fond memories of my imaginings that we ate there together and I fed you sweet mater paneer with my fingers and it melted in your mouth. And you suckled my fingers, as I suckled yours. We were like human pacifiers!

top

Mokey

1942

Daniel 'Mokey' Delano: She done broke her elbow. Aunt Deedy: Elbow! Grandma's always breaking something, mostly the ten commandments.

top

Molly Grows Up

1953

Miss Jensen: Pay more attention to your hair and nails, and wear your prettiest dress!

top

Moment by Moment

1978

Trisha Rawlings: (clasping her hands worshipfully) Ohhhh... STRIP!

top

A Moment of Grace

2004

David: (after seeing approaching jeep) Ari, load the chamber.

Dr Grace Peters: I'm calling my personal little ceasefire.

top

Mon beau-frre a tu ma soeur

1986

Esther Bouloire: Je veux vous dire mon secret/I want to tell you my secret

Esther Bouloire: Mon beau-frre a tu ma soeur/my brother in law killed my sister

Etienne Sembadel: Elle est folle!/She is crazy!

top

Mon petit doigt m'a dit...

2005

Blisaire Beresford: She is so perfect that no one notices her other defects.

Le cur: I also happen to say things I don't understand. Prudence Beresford: Nothing alarming in your case: you're a priest.

top

Mondes engloutis, Les

1985

(repeated line) Bic and Bac: Aaaah, c'est shagmique!

top

Mondo Trasho

1969

Divine: Oh Mary! Oh Holy Trinity! Oh God! It isn't easy being Divine!

top

Money from Home

1953

Virgil: Me and my big mouth. I'd get rid of it, except it's such a handy place to keep my teeth.

Virgil: They tell me when you ride you ride as if you were a part of the horse. Would that be a compliment, Sir?

Honey Talk: Every dog has his day, but the nights are mine.

Virgil: So do me something.

top

Monkey Shines

1988

Geoffrey Fisher: You're a clinical cunt.

Maryanne Hodges: You killed my Bogey! Dorothy Mann: Maryanne, I think you're confused. Maryanne Hodges: Not with his hands. He had his little demon do it for him.

top

Monolith

1993

Capt MacCandless: Get out of my office before I arrest you. Villano: You'd need a presidential order to arrest me. Capt MacCandless: I don't give a damn if you're personally giving the president head! Get the fuck out of my office!

Tucker: I got 3 rules: One, shit happens; two, shit happens on a regular basis; and three, you better get used to rule one and two.

top

Monsieur Ibrahim et les fleurs du Coran

2003

Momo: You're circumcised too?

Momo: When are you going to adopt me? Monsieur Ibrahim: Tomorrow if you like.

top

Monster a-Go Go

1965

Narrator: Suddenly there was no trail. There was no giant, no monster, no thing called Douglas to be followed. There was nothing in the tunnel but the puzzled men of courage who suddenly found themselves alone with shadows and darkness. With the telegram, one cloud lifts, and another descends. Astronaut Frank Douglas, rescued, alive, well, and of normal size some 8000 miles away in a lifeboat.

top

Monster in the Closet

1987

Professor Diane Bennett: Destroy all closets!

top

Monster Man

2003

Brother Fred: (lying in two pieces whilst the end credits are running) The end? This can't be the end! I was gonna fuck my sister! Now what am I gonna do? This sucks!

Harley: I'm the kind of guy who puts the "ick" in "dick".

Adam: Fucking virgin? Isn't that an oxymoron?

Monster Man: Wussies!

top

Monster Mash: The Movie

1995

Igor: Hump? Mary: No thanks.

top

Monster!

1999 (TV)

Lloyd: Now, we're only going to have one shot at this! So get me as close as you can! I wanna see tonsils, damn it!

Jill: Lights out, Junior.

top

Monster on the Campus

1958

Professor Donald Blake: Ah, the human female in the perfect state - helpless and silent.

top

Montana Belle

1952

(after the Marshal and his deputy were placed in a jail cell by bandits) Marshal Ripple: Some deputy you are, sitting there reading the newspaper. You're under arrest! (Marshal rips off the deputy's badge)

(after he and a Dalton brother are cornered during a gunfight) Mac: Let's walk out of this town.

top

Montana

1998

Nicholas "Nick" Roth: (on the phone to Duncan) I know the boss will be so relieved to know that everything is going just fine. He was awfully upset about that little fiasco yesterday. I know you did everything you could to make us look bad. Anyway, I just wanted to call and tell you it's a great day to be me, mostly because I'm not you.

top

Monte Walsh

2003 (TV)

Monte Walsh: Rudy, you can't have no idea how little I care.

top

Montezuma's Revenge: The Inferno Reunion

2004 (TV)

Coral Smith: I don't wrestle, I fucking beat bitches up!

top

Montral vu par...

1991

Madeleine: (Madeleine's last words to her husband) This is my last game.

top

Montreal Writer

2002

Antonio Di Thomasis: (to an Arabic man) Where'd you put the bomb?

Antonio Di Thomasis: We were so poor growing up, that if I didn't wake up with an erection, I had nothing to play with all day.

Tony's friend: I think I would make a good German officer.

top

Moon Over Miami

1941

Phil O'Neil: Nobody knows anything about anybody.

Phil O'Neil: Let's see what do we want? We want you, the juice of the grape and a good hot dance band. Jeffrey Bolton: But right now we'll settle for those potato chips and cheese.

top

Moon Over Miami

1993

Walter: Sometimes men drink to forget. Gwen: Why do you drink? Walter: I don't remember.

Gwen: Hold this, my brain's on fire! Walter: Frankly, I'd rather see you eat it. What brain?!

top

Moon Over Parador

1988

Madonna Mendez: Too many damn pumas.

Roberto Strausmann: Play the part, or I'll kill you.

Roberto Strausmann: I hate actors.

Roberto Strausmann: Damn communists!

top

Moonbase 3

1973

Sir Benjamin Dyce: I've always held that the last words of mankind will not be the secret name of God, but "What is this knob for?"

Helen Smith: Make love, not science.

David Caulder: Out there is a remorseless, implacable enemy; the most hostile environment Man has ever met. Now we must fight it together.

top

Moondial

1988

Minty: World... d'you mind if I call you World? Doesn't sound right; Mr World... ! World: You call me that; it's who I am... Old World... they all call me that...

top

Moonrunners

1975

Grady: I do all of his heavy work. The artiste has to protect his hands.

Bobby Lee: Well, that's not the place where I prove my manhood. But since the subject has come up, you think you might boost it a little by letting me drive?

Bobby Lee: Jesse, she's in trouble. Uncle Jesse: Did you do it? Bobby Lee: It ain't that kind of trouble.

top

Moontrap

1989

Ray Tanner: We don't take no shit from a machine!

top

More Tales of the City

1998 (mini)

Mrs Anna Madrigal: Some people drink to forget. Personally, I smoke to remember.

Connie Bradshaw: Have a fantabulous day!

top

Morgan's Ferry

1999

Monroe: I ain't askin', I'm *tellin'*.

top

Morning Departure

1950

Helen Armstong: Why does the Navy insist on doing everything at the crack of dawn? The sea's there all day. Lieutenant Commander Armstrong: It impresses the taxpayers.

top

Morning Glory

1933

Gwendolyn Hall: My! You're gaining weight. Rita Vernon: Yes. I'll soon be your size, my dear!

Charlie Van Duesen: You're the best young actress in America. Rita Vernon: I know that.

Robert Harley Hedges: Youth has its hour of glory... but too often it's only a morning glory, the flower that fades before the sun is very high.

top

Morocco

1930

Tom Brown: I'd sit down if I were you. Amy Jolly: You are pretty brave... with women.

Amy Jolly: You'd better go now. I'm... beginning to like you.

Amy Jolly: Every time a man has helped me, there has been a price. What's yours? La Bessiere: My price? A smile. Amy Jolly: I haven't got much more.

top

Mort en direct, La

1980

Vincent Ferriman: Look how shy we've become about death. It's the new pornography.

Katherine Mortenhoe: Everything's of interest, but nothing matters.

Roddy: A toy to end all toys.

top

Mortal Kombat: Shaolin Monks

2005 (VG)

Scorpion: (after spearing an opponent) Get over here, bitch!

Johnny Cage: So who won? Liu Kang or Kung Lao? Liu Kang: Kung Lao. Kung Lao: Liu Kang. (they bow to each other)

top

Mortal Kombat: The Animated Series

1995

Sub-Zero: Nothing breaks harder than ice!

top

Mortal Kombat

1992 (VG)

Scorpion: Come here!

Voice over: Finish him!

Voice over: Flawless victory!

Scorpion: (shouts) Get over here!

top

Mortal Thoughts

1991

James: Where's Mr Morehead? Joyce: Who? James: You know, Mr Morehead. Joyce: Who's that? James: Arthur, got more head than hair.

top

Moscow on the Hudson

1984

Cop: This is New York City. A man can do whatever he wants.

Vladimir Ivanoff: In Moscow we fought for an inch of freedom! Here you take it and pour shit all over it.

top

Moses

1996 (TV)

Memefta: You see, steward, a steady hand and there are no more complaints.

Moses: We will leave this place when Egypt finally understands the power of the Lord.

Moses: The Lord has spoken.

top

Mosquito Squadron

1969

Hufford: Ah, what do you say, Munroe, hmm? What are the odds? Munroe: About the same as spitting in an Air Commodore's eye from an express train, sir.

(During a low level flight to a target in France, Munroe's Navigator leans over to him) Nav: I hope you brought your driving licence. Munroe: Why? Nav: Fly any lower and you're going to need it.

top

Mosquito

1995

Parks USAF Meteor Chaser: You're not dealing with science fiction. You're dealing with science fact!

top

Most Wanted

1997

Sergeant James Dunn: I'm a marine, we don't plan, we improvise.

Sergeant James Dunn: Sometimes, I plan shit!

top

Mosura 3

1998

Belvera: Wisdom... Courage... Love.

top

Mosura tai Gojira

1964

Reporter Jiro Nakamura: "I'm not as afraid of Godzilla as I am of the editor... he's meaner."

top

Mother

1970

Skippy: This is for the children of America. The little tots!

top

Mother

1996/I

Mrs Jay: I find your sincerity deplorably nauseating.

Mrs Jay: He's not exactly a little boy anymore

(to Audrey, her son's girlfriend) Olivia Hendrix: You leave him alone!

Ton Hendrix: Let me live my life!

top

Motocrossed

2001 (TV)

Andrew Carson: Guys would do anything to beat you. Andrea Carson: Yeah, but they'd have to keep up with me first.

Andrea Carson: Nobody's gonna find out, are they, Jason? Jason Carson: Why do you always look at me when you say that?

top

Motor City Motormouth

2000 (V)

Kid Rock: "A lot of girls, it's their goal to suck my dick, I can fulfill that!"

top

Motor Mania

1950

Mr Wheeler: (revving engine at traffic signal) So, you wanna race, do ya? Well, you're not gonna get ahead of meeee!

top

Mountain Rhythm

1939

(first lines) (commenting on Frog's rickety wagon) Gene Autry: Boy, you'll be lucky if this thing holds till Pueblo City. Frog Millhouse: Well, don't worry about it. It came all the way from Texas didn't it? I ain't walked yet!

top

Mountains of the Moon

1990

uncredited: In this wilderness you will find only Allah's terrible whimsy.

top

Mouse Mazurka

1949

(last lines) (the mouse that Sylvester has been chasing accidentally drinks nitroglycerine and blows up) Narrator: Now you'll never catch that mouse. Sylvester: That's what you think! (Sylvester drinks some nitro, explodes and chases the mouse through the heavens)

top

Mouse Trouble

1944

(Tom corners Jerry and then consults his book for advice - A CORNERED MOUSE NEVER FIGHTS. Tom uses this knowledge to attack... and gets thrashed and bruised by Jerry) Tom: Don't you believe it!

top

Movie Maniacs

1936

Curly: How are we gonna get in pictures? We don't know nothin' about makin' movies! Moe: There's a couple of thousand people in pictures now who know nothing about it. Three more won't make any difference.

top

Moving Malcolm

2003

George Maxwell: The object is to live in a furious state until your heart stops.

top

Mr Arkadin

1955

Gregory Arkadin: Baroness, a fool is a man who pays twice for the same thing.

top

Mr Boogedy

1986 (TV)

William Hanover: BOOGEDY, BOOGEDY BOO!

top

Mr Christie

2001

Mr Christie: God does not make mistakes. Rock Alberston: Oh yeah? What about Cable TV?

top

Mr Death: The Rise and Fall of Fred A. Leuchter, Jr

1999

Fred A. Leuchter Jr.: The human body is not easy to destroy and it's not east to take a life humanely and painlessly without doing a great deal of damage to the individual's body.

top

Mr Dressup

1967

Mr Dressup: (singing) Three little birdies, happy and gay / Three little birdies, fly away.

top

Mr India

1987

Mogambo: Mogambo is pleased.

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