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Lisa, Lisa

1977

Steele: Lomax, fix me a glass of water... and then drink it yourself.

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Lisbon

1956

Sylvia Merrill: I've never met Mr Avros. Capt Robert John Evans: I have and I don't nothing about him. Sylvia Merrill: What was your impression? Capt Robert John Evans: (almost shouting) A CROOK! Sylvia Merrill: I know that... but is he a reliable crook?

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Lisztomania

1975

Cosima: I've polished your sword! What do you want it for, to kill the critics? Liszt: Time kills critics, my dear.

Liszt: Piss off, Brahms!

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Little Bear

1995

Little Bear: Hmmm... interesting.

Little Bear: Knock Knock... Owl: Who's there? Little Bear: Cows. Owl: Cows who? Little Bear: No... owls go hoooo... and cows go mooo!

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Little Black Sambo

1935

Mammy: Now run along and play, honey child, but watch out for that bad old tiger. That old tiger sure do like dark meat.

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Little Boy Blues

1999

Daniel: We should be spooning.

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Little Erin Merryweather

2003

Dr Paula Sheffield: What is evil? What is the nature of evil? Is there any such thing as evil?

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Little Fauss and Big Halsy

1970

Little Fauss: I was going faster than I ever went in my whole life, then I fell off.

Halsy Knox: Uh, uh! Once is cool; twice is queer.

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Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland

1992

Nemo: What are you wanted for? Flip: Having fun. Nemo: Having fun? Flip: Yeah, they don't like it when you have fun here. Heh.

Nemo: What are you doing here? Oompy: We're BEING here.

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Little Odessa

1994

Joshua Shapira: (Joshua is about to execute Pahlevi) Hey, do you believe in God? Pahlevi: (sobbing) Yes! Joshua Shapira: Good. We'll wait ten seconds and see if he comes to save you.

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A Little Off Mark

1986

Steve, Mark's best friend: Hey man, I hate to say it, but you looked like a lost puppy dog at the party.

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Little Orphan Sammy

1976

Daddy Sawbucks: When you've been fucked by America, you know you've been fucked.

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Little People: Big Discoveries

2002

Maggie: I think I can think of something even more fun!

Recycler Rick: You see a trashcan, I see a treasure bin.

Recycler Rick: (singing) Recycle, reuse, renew. That's what I like to do.

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Little Swee' Pea

1936

Popeye: I've comes to take ya to the zoo to see the aminals. Olive Oyl: I'm too busy, Popeye. Popeye: (Under his breath) Oh, your loss.

Popeye: (singing) There's no ifs, ans or maybes / I'll never have babies / I'm Popeye the Sailor Man!

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Little Witches

1996

Nicole: Who's Gertrude? Jamie: Miss Illuminati 1896!

(Jamie comes out of the confessional and tells them she has to pray for 20 minutes) Nicole: What did she do? Kelsey: ... What didn't she do?

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Live by the Fist

1993

Helen Ferris: I'll be back with my people in one week!

(breaking up a fight) Uncle Coronado: Stop being led by your hate!

(after crushing a "gook" with a boulder) Sacker: Sorry about your girl friend!

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Live Nude Shakespeare

1997 (V)

(Reading "Hung Like a Horse" magazine.) Dominique: A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!

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Live Shot

1995

Rick Evers: (reading from a press release) "We, the members of Odd Man Out, will be bringing some of our brothers and sisters of the LA broadcast news media out of their closets and into the bright, warm light of self-respect and pride. We expect you, as a member of the LA broadcast media." - you know, I don't like this group talking about my member.

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Living Dangerously

1993

Cynthia: Oh, are you hacking a company in France? Simon: Uh, no. France.

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Living Dolls: The Making of a Child Beauty Queen

2001 (TV)

Robin Browne: Isn't this dress great? It makes her look like a dessert!

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Living in Fear

2001

Rebecca Hausman: Oh, my God... what have you done?

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Living on Tokyo Time

1987

Lana: Come on, what else have you got going? If it works great, if it fails you can write a song about it like Layla

Woman in Cafe #2: Did you ever think that maybe you should find yourself a nice Japanese boy? Woman in Cafe: Where? There aren't any.

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Living the Life

2000

Raul: Together, Ana and I, are not afraid of anything. Our homies think we're locos for the things we do. We're living the life.

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Living 'til the End

2005

Dr Shaw: But what is the probability? Jack: There are people out there dying every day thinking that there was no prob-a-bil-ity.

Dr Shaw: What is it about her, that SHE makes you feel like you're not going to die?

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Living with Lydia

2002

Lydia Lum: (after being rejected by the Singapore Idol judges because of her age) I hate Singapore Idol!

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Livvakterna

2001

Nikolaus Lehman: Where did you take them? Johan Falk: Why should I tell you that? Nikolaus Lehman: Otherwise you start something that you do not master.

Nikolaus Lehman: There is a very good swedish saying; that who joins the game must take the consequences, of the game.

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LOC Kargil

2003

Lt Manoj Kumar Pandey: Ask your mother whether you are beautiful or not.

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Local Boy Makes Good

1931

Marjorie Blake: I think Julia's awfully interested in you. John Augustus Miller: She's gonna turn my libido outward. Marjorie Blake: What for? John Augustus Miller: Just so she can look at it, I guess.

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Lock Up

1989

Warden Drumgoole: This is hell, and I'm going to give you the guided tour.

Frank Leone: Your body has to be here, but your mind can be anywhere.

Frank Leone: Rape this!

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Lockdown

1990

James Garrett: The cop was fucking nuts.

Ron Taylor: I won't die in this place!

Ron Taylor: There IS no right way!

James Garrett: I got into this business because I love cars - I really love cars.

James Garrett: You know, there's always resistance to change.

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Locusts

2005 (TV)

Maddy: You screw with nature, nature's gonna screw with you.

(to Willy) Gina: Oh, please. They're grasshoppers, not tarantulas.

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Loma

1976

Aimo Niemi: Excuse me ladies, but we are boys of north. I mean, well-educated biters of reindeers from free Finland.

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London Belongs to Me

1948

Mr Squales: (to himself looking in mirror) Can you do such a thing? Yes, you can.

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London Town

1946

Belgrave: (to Peggy) God help the male population when you grow up!

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Lone Star

1952

Devereaux Burke: Texas is a lot bigger than most all the states of the union, and grows beautiful women too.

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Lonely Face

2003

Kevin: Was she a teacher? Ian: No, she was still at school, her bus pass said she was 16.

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Lonesome Ghosts

1937

Ghost #1: Ah, we don't have no fun no more! Ghost #2: Yeah, there's no one left to scare! Ghost #3: We scared them all away. Guess we're too good!

Goofy: I know you! You're a ghost!

Goofy: Oh I'm brave, but I'm careful.

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Long-Haired Hare

1949

(when Bugs is stuffed inside the tuba) Bugs: Of course you realize, this means *war*!

Bugs: (disguised as a bobby-soxer) Oh, Mr Jones! Franky and Perry just aren't in it! You're my swooner dreamboat loverboy! (laughs)

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Long John Silver

1954

Long John Silver: Now clear up them there shambles, or I'll feed you piecemeal to the rats in the cellar.

Long John Silver: Ar, fortune rides the shoulders of them what schemes.

Mendoza: Until your dying day I will be grateful. (draws cutlass) I regret to inform you, *this* is your dying day!

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Long Way to the Top

2001

(About Bon Scott) Angus Young: He had lined up a couple of bottles of bourbon, some dope, somebody put speed somewhere. I said to Malcolm "If this guy can walk let alone sing it's going to be something!"

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Longinus

2004 (V)

(last lines) Nurse: The Spear of Longinus. It's believed to be a spear that makes miracles happen. It's true. It can change despair into hope.

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Longshot

2000

Flight Engineer on plane: I dont know what the problem is..but they got to get in sync!

Flight Engineer on plane: Captain, were are in the middle of a lightening storm. We lost all communication with air traffic controls. I dont know what the problem is..everything is out of sync!

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Longstreet

1971

Duke Paige: What is this thing you do? Li Tsing: In Catonese, Jeet Kune Do - the way of the intercepting fist. Duke Paige: Intercepting fist, huh?

Duke: For this job you need eyes in the BACK of your head. Mike: What use are eyes in the back of your head if you intend to go forward?

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Longtime Companion

1990

Bartender: What do you want? John: I'll have the sweat of that hairy man's brow, thank you.

Michael: I love my ears. I love my nose. I love myself.

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Look Around You

2002

Narrator: You don't have to be a brain surgeon to operate on the brain.

Narrator: In the meantime, thanks ants. Thants.

Narrator: We're using AC-DC because it is heavy metal.

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Look What's Happened to Rosemary's Baby

1976 (TV)

Roman: There in a house of God. Minnie: I told you they were in some kind of a store. Roman: Shut up! All of you!

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Looking for Leonard

2002

Jo: What's the worst thing you can imagine? Monica: Chickens. Small boys with chickens.

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Looking for Oscar

2000

Bill Lee: Bowie Kuhn should be ashamed of himself. He's not, but he should be.

Bob Costas: Bob and Ken Forsch... capitalism, socialism... religion, atheism, agnosticism... Bob Forsch and Ken Forsch... these are the big questions.

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Looking Through Lillian

2002

Lillian: You looked right through me, but you never once saw me.

Luke: You're pure Lillian. You just got a little lost along the way.

Gene: I can be a man too you know.

Lillian: You're not a man. I don't know what you are, but you're not a man.

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Loose Cannons

1990

Mac: Aren't you going to go in and see what's wrong with him? Nurse: I'd rather set my head on fire and have it put out with a sledgehammer. Mac: I'd like to see that actually.

Ellis: Humpty Dumpty's back on the wall.

Ellis Fielding: Humptey Dumptey's back on the wall.

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Loose Women

1999

(repeated line) Presenter: (to audience) Let me hear it!

(repeated line) Presenter: (to audience) Don't you agree with me, ladies?

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Lord of Misrule

1996 (TV)

Emma: Get someone else to make up your mind for you and you'll know at once if you're right or wrong.

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Lord of the Flies

1963

Ralph: You're a beast, and a swine, and a bloody, bloody thief!

Jack: We've got to have rules and obey them. After all, we're not savages. We're English! And the English are best at everything!

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Lost Angels

1989

Dr Charles Loftis: We used to say it took a year. Remember? A year to put a kid right. Sure, that just happened to be what the insurance covered. But now they cut it back to two, three months, and presto! we cure them in two or three months.

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Lost Continent

1951

Nolan: Look at the size of that footprint! I've never seen anything like it before! Phillips: I have. Once... in a museum.

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Lost Honeymoon

1947

Dr Davis: You have a complete amnesia? The Amnesiac: Complete... those six weeks are total blank... Bob, is it possible that when I was out of my mind I got married? Dr Davis: That's what most people do.

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Lost in a Harem

1944

The Derelict: Pokomoko! Slowly I turn, step by step ...

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Lost In La Mancha

2002

(Upon watching a screen test of the giants) Terry Gilliam: That's our trailer, right there!

Terry Gilliam: At least if we're going to be fucked, let's know we're fucked ahead of time.

Johnny Depp: You wanna fuck with me, fucker!

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Lost in the Bermuda Triangle

1998 (TV)

Jenny: I love you. Go. Go.

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Lost in the Pershing Point Hotel

2000

Storyteller: I do not believe that we are human beings in search of a spiritual experience. I believe we are spiritual beings in search of a human experience.

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Lost Reality

2004 (V)

The Whore: You seriously think I'd want to have sex with you? You're hung like a field mouse!

top

Lost Souls

2000

John Townsend: God will forgive me. The transformation is near.

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Lost Voyage

2001 (TV)

Parker Roberts: Goodbye Son

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Louisiana Cookin'

1982

(repeated line) Host: I guarantee!

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Louisiana Purchase

1941

Sam: (looking at Marina) Boy, if she were black, she'd be beautiful!

Senator Oliver P. Loganberry: You're a pretty smart fella, Mr Taylor. I kinda wish you were a Republican.

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Love Affair

1939

Terry McKay: The things we like best are either illegal, immoral or fattening.

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Love Affair

1994

Ginny: The trick in life isn't getting what you want, my dear, it's wanting it after you get it.

Ginny: If I knew I was going to live to 86 I wouldn't have let the maid go.

Terry McKay: I guess I'm happy when I don't want to be anywhere else but where I am.

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Love and Betrayal: The Mia Farrow Story

1995 (TV)

Woody Allen: The heart wants what it wants. Mia Farrow: The heart?! You don't have one!

top

Love and Hisses

1934

Bobby Clark: You may speak freely in front of me. I used to be a window washer.

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Love at Large

1990

Stella Wynkowski: Why do you think he has two families? Harry Dobbs: Most bigamists do.

Harry Dobbs: The one who loves, waits.

top

Love Crazy

1941

Steve: She's married now - got a husband. Susan Ireland: Yeah? Whose husband has she got?

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Love 'Em and Weep

1927

Romaine Ricketts: (intertitle) Mind if I smoke? Old flame: I don't care if you burn!

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Love Field

1992

Paul Cater: I didn't GET this car, I stole it. That's a felony. Lurene Hallett: Well it shouldn't be if it can't go over forty!

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Love Finds Andy Hardy

1938

Betsy Booth: I sing, you know.

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Love for Rent

2005

(from trailer) (Monica places a condom in his shirt) Monica Garcia: This is just in case you miraculously manage to utter something remotely intelligent.

(from trailer) Sofia: I don't think I can give him up.

(from trailer) Monica Garcia: What about school, your plans, the chart, everything?

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Love Is Better Than Ever

1952

Kid: I'm a grape. Jud Parker: I'm happy for you.

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Love Is Forever

1983 (TV)

(first lines) (as John enters the Mekong River in order to swim to Laos) Derek McBracken: Damn fool.

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Love Letter

1995

Male itsuki fujii: (Checking out books from the female Itsuki in the school libray. The male Itsuki holds up five checkout cards that he has been the first to sign like a poker hand. He speaks in English) Fujii Itsuki straight flush.

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Love Lie Leave

2002

John: You know who's got it easy? Like, homos and dykes. They're both the same. They know what the other person wants.

Mike: I think it depends on the person, really. I know some gay people that don't get along.

John: That surprises me.

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Love Me Tender

1956

Vance Reno: Listen, Brett, we didn't steal this money. We took it in battle, fair and square. It's what they call "spoils of war", like capturing a horse or anything else. We didn't know the war was over, and neither did the Federals. So it's still prize money.

Martha Reno: Clint thinks the sun rises and sets in you. Vance Reno: I know, Ma. That's just why I'm going.

top

Love on the Hershe Highway

1989

Buck: Girls, let's not mince a lot of words here! Your place or ours?

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Love Serenade

1996

Ken Sherry: With all its shame and drudgery, it is still a beautiful world.

Ken Sherry: Come and ease my loneliness.

Chinese Takeawy Proprietor: I don't like it ... I don't like it at all!

top

Lovejoy

1986

Lovejoy: Do we have to bring mistrust and suspicion into this.

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Lovelife

1997

Zoey: Danny, maybe we need to reevaluate things. Danny: Reevaluate? You mean, as in, don't eat my ravioli, or reevaluate as Stalin might have used the word?

(Tim is explaining his "telescope" to Danny) Tim: It's, you know, so she won't look out the window and see me and get scared. Danny: Great, so, instead she'll be scared she's going to be hit by a torpedo!

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Lovelorn Leghorn

1951

Foghorn Leghorn: Nice girl, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice.

Foghorn Leghorn: Let me guess, dearie. You're looking for a husband. Prissy: Yes! Foghorn Leghorn: Well, you're going about it the wrong way, sister. You don't bat 'em on the bean with a rolling pin. That comes later.

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Lovers and Other Strangers

1970

Frank Vecchio: So, what's the story, Richie?

Bea: I can understand her wanting to leave. But I can't understand her leaving.

top

Love's Enduring Promise

2004 (TV)

Willie: Do I tell you how to braid your hair? Don't tell me how to plow a field.

Clark Davis: The way a man grieves, that's a personal thing.

top

Lovin' Molly

1974

Mr Fry: A woman's love is like the morning dew: it's as apt to settle on a horse turd as a rose.

top

Lucky Jordan

1942

Lucky Jordan: 'Til I ran up against you, Nazi was just a word in the newspaper to me. Now it's another way to spell cockroach.

top

Lucky Lady

1975

Claire: Gee, it's so quiet in here you could hear a fish fart.

top

Lucky Stiff

1988

Ike: Why are the gods so good to us? Cynthia: Because we love people and we know how good they really are.

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Lucky

2003

Reporter: Mr Linkletter, what are you going to do with all your winnings? Michael 'Lucky' Linkletter: Lose it.

(after seeing Theresa's husband wrote 'loser' on her head backwards) Michael "Lucky" Linkletter: What is he, dyslexic?

top

Luckytown

2000

Lida: is he gonna chase after us colonel: Who Gill? Nah he still rides a bicycle.

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Lucy (2003)

TV

Desi Arnaz: I work hard, I play hard, I drink hard and I love hard.

(on Desi's infidelity) Lucy: That's your excuse? Because your daddy did it long ago on some Spic island?

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Lucy Moves to NBC

1980 (TV)

(in Lucy's living room, Donald O'Connor jumps as a wild, yodeling bird cry is heard from outside) Lucille Ball: Quiet, Ralph! Donald O'Connor: Ralph? Lucille Ball: My producer gave me a real live peacock to remind me that I'm on NBC.

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Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married

1999

Lucy Sullivan: (Seeing her mother wearing her footwear) They're MY bloody shoes!

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Luis

2003

Luis: I had three jobs when I was his age. I worked my ass off! Isabella: It grew back.

top

Lumber Jack-Rabbit

1954

Bugs Bunny: (on being confronted by Paul Bunyan's dog, Smidgen, height 124 ft 6 in, weight 4600 tons) I'll be scared later. Right now, I'm too mad.

top

Lunarcop

1994

Milo: I think the guy drove east. Kay: Hey, everybody! Milo thinks!

Joe Brody: To hell with this!

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Luncheon at Twelve

1933

Charley: How does an interior decorator dress? Baldy: Oh, you don't wear a dress... but get as close as possible.

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