top

Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro

1983

Ashok: Hey, come here. Vinod Chopra: What? Ashok: Didn't you listen to the things I said on the phone? Vinod Chopra: What? Ashok: Are you deaf? Vinod Chopra: Yes!

top

Jabberwocky

1977

Narrator: It is the middle of the dark ages, ages darker than anyone had expected.

Dennis: I keep your potato.

King Bruno the Questionable: Guards... kill that man...

top

Jack Horkheimer: Star Hustler

1976

(program signoff) Jack Horkheimer: Keep looking up!

top

Jack-Wabbit and the Beanstalk

1943

Giant: Well he can't outsmart me, 'cause I'm a moron.

top

Jackie, Ethel, Joan: The Women of Camelot

2001 (mini)

Robert F. Kennedy: He'll never have me as Vice President. If he had to choose between me or Ho Chi Mihn as his running mate, he'd choose Ho Chi Mihn.

top

Jackpot

2001

Lester: Until you give me more than fifteen percent of your earnings, I'm only going to put up with fifteen percent of your bullshit.

Lester: The Olympics, the NBA, the NFL - all filled up with children who didn't have fathers. You may be a flawed character, but you're building hers. You're the asshole who will put your daughter on the moon.

top

Jackson County Jail

1976

Dinah Hunter: They're gonna kill you! Coley Blake: That don't matter. I was born dead.

top

Jade

1995

Lew Edwards: I do the fucking, I never get fucked!

David Corelli: Cristal, Baluga, Wolfgang Puck... it's a fuckhouse.

top

Jaianto robo: Animeshon

1991 (V)

Alberto: So which one do I take revenge for first? My dead friend? Or the eyeball you squished out of my head?!

top

Jaianto robo

1967

Unicorn Chief Azuma: It's almost dawn, get rid of that eye.

top

Jail Bait

1954

Doctor Gregor: This afternoon we had a long telephone conversation earlier in the day.

Dr.Gregor: You know sometimes I find plastic surgery to be hard and very, very complicated.

top

Jailhouse Rock

1957

Peggy Van Alden: I think I'm going to just hate you! Vince Everett: No, you ain't gonna hate me. I ain't gonna let you hate me.

Peggy Van Alden: How dare you think such cheap tactics would work with me! Vince Everett: That ain't tactics, honey. It's just the beast in me.

top

Jakers! The Adventures of Piggley Winks

2003

(repeated line) Young Piggley Winks: Jakers!

(repeated line) Fernando Toro: Oh, Janey Mack!

top

Jakob the Liar

1999

Jakob Heym: Hitler goes to a fortune-teller and asks, "When will I die?" And the fortune-teller replies, "On a Jewish holiday." Hitler then asks, "How do you know that?" And she replies, "Any day you die will be a Jewish holiday."

top

James Dean

2001 (TV)

James Dean: "I'm playing the drums! Go to hell!"

(about an audition) Martin Landau: You never know. I mean look at me; when I tried out for "Tennesse Williams" I thought I was terrible. James Dean: You were terrible... you didn't get the part Martin Landau: Just a detail.

top

Jane Doe: Vanishing Act

2005 (TV)

Jane Doe: You know what your problem is Darnell? Just can't help showing off.

Frank Darnell: What do you think? These tomatoes a little ripe?

top

Jane White Is Sick & Twisted

2002

Burger: Have you ever seen your mom naked?

Barney: I'm not gay... ok, maybe a little bit. A pinky's worth of gayness.

Burger: Everyone wants a taste of the Burger.

Dick Smith: The only thing that can hurt me now... is a meteor!

top

Jäniksen vuosi

1977

Kaarlo Vatanen: I am ex-deodorant agent, actually ex-advertising agent, and I have had enough of the great, great fucking world of yours.

top

Jason's Lyric

1994

Alonzo: Throw this motherfucker out with the rest of the shit!

top

Jasper Carrott: Back to the Front

1999

Jasper Carrott: I wonder about those hellium baloons that float up high into the heavens. If God ever talks to mankind, he's going to look down between the clouds and say (in a hellum voice) "You have failed to obey the words of the Lord. Fall down on your knees and tremble before me."

top

Jaya Ganga

1998

Zehra: Some write with words, others with silence.

top

Jeder für sich und Gott gegen alle

1974

Opening caption: Do you not then hear this horrible scream all around you that people usually call silence.

top

Jeff Buckley: Live at Sin-é

2003 (V)

Jeff Buckley: What do I want people to get from the music? Whatever they want. (pauses then looks to the camera) Whatever you like.

top

Jekyll & Hyde

1990 (TV)

Dr Henry Jekyll: Science will control our shapes, our intelligence. Even create new breeds of men. Violent men to fight our wars. Docile men to do our work. Hell on Earth. And I... I want no part of it.

Dr Henry Jekyll: Evil is not a scientific word.

Mr Hyde: I am saving my neck. From the gallows.

top

Jenna's Revenge

1996 (V)

Lenny, the bar owner: (walks in on two men and a woman, post-threesome, on a pool table) Hey! What did I tell you about fucking on the table?

top

Jennifer Eight

1992

Freddy Ross: I'm so drunk I'm sober.

top

Jennifer Is Dead

2002

Molly: Jennifer is Dead. I should know. I killed her. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not an evil person. After all, Jennifer WAS my best friend.

top

Jennifer on My Mind

1971

Mardigian: (a taxi driver's confession to a customer) Hey, man, I'm pretty stoned. Do you wanna screw my sister or somethin'?

top

Jennifer Slept Here

1983

Joey: You mean everywhere I go, everything I do, you're going to be there? Jennifer: I'm going to be there.

top

Jenseits der Stille

1996

Lara: The saddest things in life are separations and deaths. I don't want to say good-bye anymore. I've had enough of that.

top

Jersey Girl

1992

Toby: I just think we got off on the wrong foot is all. Sal: The wrong foot? You wrecked my car. We got off on a really, really bad foot.

top

Jesse James

1939

(last lines) (about Jesse James) Major Rufus Cobb: He was one of the doggonedest, gawl-dingedest, dad-blamedest buckaroos that ever rode across these here United States of America!

top

Jet Set Radio

2000 (VG)

DJ Professor K: (while broadcasting his radio station) Let's go to the mailbag. We got a letter from Mr Owsaki. He asks "How do I get rid of these nasty roaches?" Easy, just burn your house down.

top

Jetblast

2001

The Captain: Get me out of these wet panties.

top

Jett Jackson: The Movie

2001 (TV)

Silverstone: We're going to talk about you not listening to me later. Jett: You'll only be talking to yourself.

Dr Kragg: You two may have escaped my world for now, but I will see you there.

Silverstone: (to Jett) You sat on the roof... with Hawk.

top

Jewel Robbery

1932

Robber: As a matter of fact, I'm opposed to the American school of banditry. I studied in Paris. You have to work harder but you do acquire a certain finesse that is missing from the stick-em-up and shoot-them-down school.

top

J.F. Que?

2004

Mona: Is that the way it goes?

Mona: I'm vegan. Chorizo: Don't worry, I'll be gentle.

Joe Fitzsimmon: But that's my button!

top

Jimeoin

1994

Jimeoin: You know those VCRs where you scan a bar code to record the program? Well I got one and I thought I'd fool it. I scanned the bar code on a packet of laxatives... and it recorded Baywatch.

top

Jimmy the Gent

1934

Miss Joan Martin: Make me respect you.

top

Jimmy the Kid

1982

Jimmy: I like elephants. Except when they die and you have to bury them.

top

Jisatsu saakuru

2002

Radio Announcer: There's mass confusion on the platform. This is unprecedented.

Medical Examiner: There are several bodies here. We'll pry them apart later.

Genesis: Hi there. My name's Genesis. I've had delusions of grandeur since I was a child.

Genesis: I'm Charles Manson of the information age!

top

Jism

2003

Kabir Lal: Awarapan, bhanjarapan... Listlessly like a gypsy...

Sonia Khanna: Jadu hai nasha hai madhoshiyan... There is magic, dreamlike fantasy...

Sonia Khanna: Chalo tumko lekar chaley... Come, let me take you...

top

J.J. Starbuck

1987

Starbuck: I reckon a diamond is just a hunk of coal that stuck to the job.

Starbuck: If you want something done, find the busiest person to do it.

Starbuck: You look happier than a termite in a sawmill.

top

Joe Gould's Secret

2000

Joe Gould: In the winter, I'm a Buddhist; in the summer, I'm a nudist!

top

Joe Kidd

1972

(Joe is putting the moves on Elma) Elma: How long have they had you locked up? Joe Kidd: Two days. Elma: What would you be like after two months? Joe Kidd: We wouldn't even be talking now.

Luis Chama: I don't keep you to think. I keep you for cold nights and days when there's nothing to do.

top

Joe's Bed-Stuy Barbershop: We Cut Heads

1983

Zachariah: I sure as hell don't do no faggoty curls!

top

John Cena: Word Life

2004 (V)

John Cena, Prototype: John Cena's more American than silicon strippers. Leaving cats dead in their tracks from heart attacks, like John Ritter.

top

John Glenn: American Hero

2003 (TV)

John Glenn: There is just no cure for the common birthday.

top

Johnny Belinda

1948

Stella McCormick: He's a... something even you can't pronounce! Locky McCormick: Probably something not fit to mention.

Dr Robert Richardson: I have to get cash somewhere, and you and some of the others are the only ones who can afford it.

top

Johnny Eager

1942

John 'Johnny' Eager: She's shakin' like a dice box.

John Benson Farrell: You couldn't stop being a thief any more than a weasel could stop sucking chicken blood.

John 'Johnny' Eager: Oh, now don't turn ordinary on me. I get tired of ordinary dames. And I don't want to get tired of you.

top

Johnny Firecloud

1975

Johnny Firecloud: You have the balls of a Mouse!

top

Johnny Skidmarks

1998

Alice: How's the happy burger? John Scardino: Mildly amusing.

Jerry: Welcome to Burger Clown: happy food for happy people!

top

Johnny Stecchino

1991

Maria: Santa Cleopatra.

top

Johns

1996

Donner: I am not a prostitute. I am an entertainer. I do not go in for violence.

top

Johnson Family Vacation

2004

Nate Johnson: (Nate walks through the hotel lobby naked, and runs into a white family) Hey, Don Judy. How you guys doing? It's a fine evening. Hey, why don't you get rid of the clothes and the kids? We're all playing butt-naked uno up in 304.

top

Jolson Sings Again

1949

Ellen Clark: (leaving room) My! We'll soon be smart as pigs!

top

Joshua Tree

1993

Wellman Anthony Santee: You can open the safe with your balls or without 'em. Jimmy Shoeshine: First choice.

Rita Marrick: So what did you do? Your crime I mean. Something serious? Wellman Anthony Santee: I turned away from Jesus.

Wellman Anthony Santee: Does your mouth have an off switch?

top

Joshua

1976

Joshua: Five? I killed nearly twice that many in the war.

top

Joshua

2002/I

Joshua: Sometimes you have to tear something down in order to build it back up."

top

Journey Through the Black Sun

1976 (TV)

Victor Bergman: Ultimately, I suppose, we all believe what we want to believe. I guess that's what reality is. One thing, though. The line between science and mysticism... is just a line.

top

Journey to the Seventh Planet

1962

vocalist: (sung over end credits) Journey to the seventh planet with me, / Let your dreams become a reality...

top

Journeys with George

2002

Alexandra Pelosi: You just want me to vote for you for your own ego. What are you going to do for me if I vote for you? George W. Bush: I'm going to give you a little kiss on the cheek. Alexandra Pelosi: A kiss?

George W. Bush: I like a good bologna sandwich.

top

Joutilaat

2001

Lötkö: I'm a little bit different than the original guy

top

Joyride

2005

Joy: Say die!

Chantal: It's your dead body!

Joy: It's no police... It's 'kabouter Plop'!

top

Judge Alex

2005

Judge: (to a litigant) ... I've locked people up for *less* than what you've done!

Judge: (repeated line, to his litigants) ... This courtroom is my house, and I *will* bounce you if you don't follow my rules!

Judge: (repeated line, to his litigants) ... I'm giving you *both* one last warning!

top

Judge John Deed

2001

Judge John Deed: (sentencing the producer of a TV game show after a contestant has died) Celebrity. The pursuit of the talentless, by the mindless. It's become a disease of the twenty-first century. It pollutes our society, and it diminishes all who seek it, and all who worship it. And you must bear some of the responsibility for foisting this empty nonsense onto a gullible public.

top

Judge Mills Lane

1998

(repeated line) Mills Lane: ... All right, let's get it on and get it decided!

Mills Lane: (to a litigant) ... What part of "Don't talk" don't you understand -the "Don't," or the "talk?"

top

Judge Priest

1934

(first lines) Judge William 'Billy' Priest: Hear! Hear! Hear! Court's called to order!

Opening crawl: The figures in this story are familiar ghosts of my own boyhood. The War between the States was over, but its tragedies and comedies haunted every grown man's mind, and the stories that were swapped took deep root in my memory.

top

Judgment Day: The John List Story

1993 (TV)

(Saying grace with her husband and his authoritative mother) Helen List: The recipe may not be yours, but the food is.

top

Juke Girl

1942

Lola Mears: Look bud, every time a freight train shakes itself fleas like you come hopping out.

top

Jul på Vesterbro

2003 (mini)

Danny: Why did you beat the scouts, dad? Did they sing again?

top

Jules et Jim

1962

Jim: We played with life and lost.

top

Julia Misbehaves

1948

Ritchie Lorgan: The organist always kisses the bride, its an old Welsh custom, you know, handed down from father to son. Excuse me.

Fred Ghenoccio: Where's my mother? Julia Packett: She's in the bar drinking her breakfast!

top

Julia

1977

Dottie: Way down deep he's very superficial.

Dashiell Hammett: (after reading Lillian's play) You better tear this up. It's not that it's bad, it's just not good enough, not for you.

Johann: If you cannot do it, do not do it.

top

Julien Donkey-Boy

1999

Father: If I were so stupid, I would slap my own face.

Father: Where are you mount Everest? Give me some Everest.

top

Julius Caesar

2002 (mini)

Aurelia: If you marry Cinna's daughter you will be identified with the popular party whether you wish or not. Caesar: I Wish it. Aurelia: They are not our people. Cousin: You wish to join with farmers and hagglers and beggars? Caesar: Our family itself did not exactly drop straight out of Jupiter's ass.

top

June Moon

1931

Maxie Schwartz: If songwriters always wrote about their home state, what a big Jewish population Tennessee must have.

top

Jungle Goddess

1948

Greta Vanderhorn: I could sure go for a charbroiled hamburger sammich and some french-fried potatoes.

top

Jungleground

1995

Odin: Behold the Ragnarockers. Lt Jake Cornel: I'm sure they'll be a force to be reckoned with... when they hit puberty.

Odin: I want you to bring me back his ring finger, please.

Dragon: He's done - let him live a straw life.

top

Junior Rodeo Daredevils

1949

Narrator: Be careful, that ground is awfully hard.

top

Jury Duty

1995

Tommy Collins: Judge Ito! Have some of my burrito

top

Just a Boy's Game

1979

Grannie: Maybe if your Granda had been better to me when I was younger, I would nae be so old so young.

Jake McQuillan: McAfferty! Your tea's oot. McAfferty: Come ahead, McQuillan.

top

Just Another Saturday

1975 (TV)

Rab Williamson: (having just maimed an old man) Don't worry about it son. Gives us all something to do with our Saturday.

Dan: You can't dupe your environment by running away, because in the end it's yourself your running away from.

top

Just Like You Imagined

2003

Sean Kruger: Hi-ho

top

Just Our Luck

1983

Shabu: I'll serve you for 2000 years or until death.

top

Just Tell Me What You Want

1980

Max Herschel: Marriage, it's the quintessential deal... just tell me what you want.

top

Juyuso seubgyuksageun

1999

Owner: Fuck the ice cream!

top

K2

1992

Harold: It's beautiful Taylor Brooks: Course it's beautiful, did you think I'd take you to an ugly mountain?

top

Ka

2001 (VG)

Rena: What's on TV now?

top

Kabinett des Doktor Caligari, Das

1920

Dr Caligari: I must know everything. I must penetrate the heart of his secret! I must become Caligari!

top

Kaitei gunkan

1963

Captain Hachiro Jinguji: Let her go. Let her die with her nation.

top

Kaka Ferskur

Fresh Rolls or The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking (1988)

Age (Swedish Ghost) : "If I win, then you must accept the fact that your are getting old. If you win, then you may continue to live your episodic life of adventure."

top

Kalipolis

2004

The Poet: Don't go to Times Square!

top

Kamen Raidâ

1971

Hayato Ichimonji: (his "henshin" phrase) Henshin!

Takeshi Hongô: (his "henshin" phrase) Rider... Henshin!

Takeshi Hongô: Rider-Jump!

Takeshi Hongô: (his finishing attack, while jumping into the air) Rider-Kick!

top

Kamikaze

2005

The Woman: Fuck this shit.

The Woman: Would you like a straaaaaaawwwww?

The Dealer: You wanna get high, or not? I got other customers!

top

Kanada

1993

Bobbie: It's one country, Kanada, made up of hamlets, farms, cities and villages. When we try to come together, we do it in the only way we know how: we declare war. War on the natives, the French, the English, on each other. The force of the union. Sometimes I feel it like a physical thing. Like love.

top

Kanal

1957

Narrator: These are the tragic heroes: watch them closely in the remaining hours of their lives.

top

Kansas City Princess

1934

Marie Callahan: Now get this and get it straight. A girl's got to have three things nowadays: money, jack, and dough! 'Bout time you learned it.

top

Kansas City

1996

Blondie O'Hara: Can I have my husband back now? Seldom Seen: How do you want him, in a box or a sack?

Carolyn Stilton: (saying her husband's pet name for her) Pussy.

top

Katherine

1975 (TV)

Katherine Alman: (speaking to the camera) I love this country. I've had the best it can offer and I've seen the worst it can be. And I'm committed to making America a better place - no matter what the cost.

Find these movie quotes interesting? Enjoy more classic quotes: