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Angie

1994

Angie: Are you lonely or horny? Noel: I'm Irish. Which is the equivalent of saying that I'm lonely and horny.

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Angora Love

1929

opening title card: The dramatic story of a goat - a strong dramatic story.

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Angst

2000

Ian: You sold the cat for a thousand dollars? Dean: Hey, for a grand I'd take the cat outside and fuck it.

Dean: I give head like a truffle pig... and I always find that truffle, if you know what I mean.

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Animalympics

1980

Lodge Turkell: I'm Lodge Turkell bringing you me...

Keen Hacksaw: 4.5. Is that her score or the reading on the Ritcher scale?

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Anino

2000

The Man in Black: You're a thief, you're a thief because you steal people's smiles, people's laughter. You steal their souls! The Photographer: But they like that, they like to have memories.

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Anjaam

1994

Shivani: Tu samne jab ahta hai, dil dhak se dhadak jata hai... When you come near, my heart starts beating faster...

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Anna Christie

1930

Anna Christie: Gif me a visky, ginger ale on the side, and don' be stingy, baby.

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Anna Is Being Stalked

2002

The Albino Stalker: Anna ... Happy Birthday ... I'm Gonna Kill You

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Anna to the Infinite Power

1983

Anna Hart: I feel as though I'm more myself than ever before.

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Annabel Takes a Tour

1938

Josephine: Annabel's fallen in love! Howard Webb: She can't do that. It's not in her contract.

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Annie Oakley

1954

(first lines of episode 3.17) Gil Porter: Looks like that marshal ain't ever gonna quit - he's been doggin' our trail for the last 80 miles. Mort Kenyon: Reckon we ought to wait and see what he wants? Gil Porter: Well, he's a federal man - you aimin' to kill him? Mort Kenyon: I never saw a tin star yet that could stop a rifle bullet.

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Another Day in Paradise

1998

Sid: I'm no role model. I'm a junkie and a thief.

Bobbie: Are you a doctor, Melvin? Mel: Yeah. I'm a doctor, shooting you up with heroin. That's right.

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Another You

1991

(Eddie Dash to the angry dog, Duane, that is stopping George from getting out of the car) Eddie Dash: Hey, Duane. Give the man a break. Come on! Hey, I'll let you hump my leg. Come on, baby. (Duane takes off)

(Last line after credits) George: Don't ever call my friend a "shithead" again, OK?

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Anthony Adverse

1936

John Bonnyfeather: Sometimes the great house of Bonnyfeather becomes too heavy a burden for one man's shoulders.

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Anticristo, L'

1974

Ippolita Oderisi: This time I'm going to win. You're all afraid, you stinking pots of shit!

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Antikiller

2002

Fox: This is ain't news, this is information.

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Antonia

1995

Antonia: This is no time for Schopenhauer. This is important.

Danielle: Mama, I want a baby. Antonia: How about a husband to go with it? Danielle: No.

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Ants in the Pantry

1936

Moe: (Larry has a bear trap to carry on the Stooges way to the mansion) (to Larry) Hey, what's with the bear trap? Larry: You never know when we will meet up with a bear. Moe: Well, meet my bare hand! (slap) Get out!

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Any Day Now

1998

Mary Elizabeth: I put ketchup covered tampons in the trash.

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Anything Goes

1936

(first lines) Reno Sweeney: (singing) In olden days a glimpse of stocking / Was looked on as something shocking, / Now, Heaven knows, / Anything goes! (as she sings the words "anything goes", the title of the film appears onscreen)

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Anzacs

1985 (mini)

Pvt. Roly Collins: What's going on, Pat? Pvt. Pat Cleary: (sarcastically) It's the great war - it's in all the papers.

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Apache Rose

1947

Billie Colby: Carlos, how can I take you seriously? All those escapades... and not forgetting that weakness for gambling, either. I don't like it. Carlos Vega: Billie, I've given that up. Honest! Billie Colby: Wanna make a bet? Carlos Vega: Why, sure, anything!

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Apartment Zero

1988

Jack Carney: (after breaking a dead woman's back) I should have been a chiropractor.

Adrian LeDuc: If that is a mask please take it off now, or keep it on forever.

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Ape Canyon

2002

Darcy: Sasquatch! I love you! Where are you! I won't hurt you! Unless you want me to! We'll move to Miami!

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Ape

1976

Tom Rose: He was just too big for our small world.

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Apple Jack

2003

Col Helmut Jitters: What we got on our hands here is a toe to toe... with Mars!

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Appointment with Death

1988

Hercule Poirot: People like to talk, and in doing so they tell the truth. It puts less of a strain on the memory.

Mrs Emily Boynton: I never forget anything: not a name, not a face, not an action.

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Aprs vous...

2003

Blanche: I'm not an easy girl... but I'm very reconciliating.

Christine: How's the chicken? Louis: Dead.

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April in Paris

1952

S. Winthrop Putnam: Do you know what my title is? Assistant Secretary to the Assistant to the Undersecretary of State. It's taken me ten years to get this far. If this falls through I'll be right back where I started: Assistant Assistant Secretary to the Assistant to the Undersecretary of State.

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April's Shower

2003

Alex: Why are you attracted to women? Fergus: Because they're beautiful creatures! Alex: Why do you think I am attracted to them? Fergus: Because you're a lesbian!

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Aquamania

1961

Goofy Jr.: Whatcha doin' down there, pop? Goofy: Oh, just parkin' the car, son!

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Arabian Knight

1995

The Thief: (as Tack, asleep, sews parts of the Thief's cloak together) He's stitchin' me up like a boot! Sorry kid, this boot was made for walkin'.

Zigzag: (as he is being eaten by crocodiles) Ow, my bottom! Ow , my top! Greedy things, don't you ever stop?

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Arabian Nights

2000 (TV)

Sultan Schariar: Look into my eyes. What do you see, Scheherezade? Scheherezade: Me. Looking at you, my love.

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Araburu tamashii-tachi

2001

Kunihiko Kenzaki: If life is shit, then why shouldn't the two of us smash into it as hard as we can?

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Arc

2004

Steve Prentiss: ... why is it people are so judgmental? I mean, can't a man wear a comfortable pair of shoes without immediately being labeled a lesbian? Mr Chen: You're short thirty-six cents, Lesbian.

Steve Prentiss: Skinny Jimmy? Homeless Betty: Yeah, that's what I call him. 'Cause he ain't skinny, he's fat. Get it?

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Archangel

1990

Veronkha: He struck that hateful head of yours and drew blood, but not enough!

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Ardilla roja, La

1993

Jota: (repeated) Breathe with me.

Jota: I love her from my very entrails. I need her same as I need my liver, my brain, my eyes. Without her, my bones break, my lungs melt and I cannot breathe. I need Sofia so that I can live.

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Are You Ready for Marriage?

1950

Sue: But I don't wanna marry a girl like me, I wanna marry a man like Larry.

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Area 51

2005 (VG)

Crispy: Aahh yeah. A little to the left.

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Area Six

2006

Detective Frank Janus, Violent Crimes Division Chicago Police Department: As we grew older, the sleep police got scarier somehow, meaner. I used to imagine what they looked like. Big broad shoulders, stone faces. They carried flashlights. But you couldn't see their eyes under the bills of their hats Something about it really got to me.

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Arise! The SubGenius Video

1992 (V)

Narrator: Don't just EAT a hamburger! Eat the HELL out of it!

Dr Howl: Do not attempt to flip the tape when you reach the end of side one, no matter what you are told by later instructions on the tape. There is no side two. However, if you do discover one, don't look at it.

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Arizona Raiders

1965

Willie Martin: Well, nobody cares much when you're on the losing side. Capt Tom Andrews: I respect a good soldier no matter what the color of his uniform.

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Arizona Stage Coach

1942

Elmer, Alibi's dummy: Alibi, come here. Alibi Terhune: What's bothering you, Elmer? Elmer, Alibi's dummy: Who's going to take that money to the stage office? Alibi Terhune: Well, I am, I reckon. Elmer, Alibi's dummy: That's what I was afraid of. You better take me along to protect you.

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Arly Hanks

1993 (TV)

Jim-Bob Buchanan: (to Kevin) Thinkin' with your mouth closed would be somethin' of a challenge for you, wouldn't it, boy?

top

Armando

2004 (TV)

Armando: Never trust a burglar.

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Armitage III: Poly Matrix

1997 (V)

Armitage: If humans didn't want me, why did they create me?

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Armored Car Robbery

1950

Ryan: Imagine a dish like this married to a mug like Benny McBride. The naked and the dead.

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Army Men: Sarge's Heroes 2

2000 (VG)

Sarge: All right, move out!

Bridgette: (in subtitles) Who is that fabulous green hunk?

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Around the Bend

2004

Turner Lair: Your tense. You get that from your mother's people

Jason Lair: You called me TENSE! Turner Lair: You called me THIEF! Jason Lair: You WERE a thief! Turner Lair: You were tense. You still are.

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Around the World in 80 Days

1989/II (mini)

Michael Palin: So, this is Poona. Bit of a disappointment really.

top

Art Attack

1992

(On every intro of "Art Attack") Neil: This is an Art Attack. THIS is an Art Attack. THIS IS Art Attack!

top

Art History

2003

Stella: We're stealing a fat dude ?

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Art House

1998

Joey: Do whatever you want, strange alien beings. Take my blood, my organs, my semen, but please, please, don't make me late for work.

top

Artemisia

1997

Orazio Gentileschi: You're always painting saints by day and sinning by night.

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Arthur 2: On the Rocks

1988

Susan: Weren't we happy, Arthur? Arthur: Of course. Then we met.

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As Long as They're Happy

1955

Gwen Bentley: It's not infatuation. I'm in love with him. John Bentley: Don't be ridiculous. He's nearly as old as I am. You're only sixteen. Gwen Bentley: Juliet was only fourteen when she fell in love with Romeo. John Bentley: They were foreigners!

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As You Desire Me

1932

Baron: Get rid of these other swine. Zara: Other?

Tony Ferrara": "Come on rex, we are going for a walk, and I want to ask you as man to dog, what color are her eyes?":

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As You Like It

1936

Exiled Duke: Sweet are the uses of adversity.

Jacques: And so, from hour to hour, we ripe and ripe, and then from hour to hour, we rot and rot; and thereby hangs a tale.

Jacques: All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts...

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As Young as We Are

1958

Roy Nielson: No-one goes for that poetry stuff around here.

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Ascension

2004

Tracy: The things people do, the way they act, I'm ashamed to call myself a human being.

top

Ash Wednesday

2002

Francis: They thought you were the smart one? I must've looked like a friggin' retard!

Francis: (to Sean) What do you need a formal invitation? Get in the fucking car!

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Ask a Policeman

1938

Constable Jeremiah 'Jerry' Harbottle: (As Harbottle senior) When the tide runs low in the smugglers' cove, / And the 'eadless 'orseman rides above, / He drives along with his wild hallo, / And that's the time when the smugglers go in their little boats to the schooner, / And bring back the kegs of brandy and rum and put them all in the Devil's Cove below.

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Askepop - The Movie

2003

Godard - filmdirector: Goodbye, Festival de Cannes!

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Assault at West Point: The Court-Martial of Johnson Whittaker

1994 (TV)

Maj. Asa Bird Gardiner: They shouted, "This is how we mark pigs down South". How do they mark pigs down South? Cadet Johnson Whittaker: I don't know, I'm not a pigs marker.

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Assault of the Party Nerds 2: The Heavy Petting Detective

1995

Head Nerd: Does a one-legged duck swim in circles?

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Aswang

1994

Peter Null: We Nulls take care of our own.

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At Home with... Fann Wong

2001 (mini)

Herself: My definition of success would be that one enjoys his/her work and is happy with what he/she is doing, and at the same time, that he/she can bring that happiness to others.

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At Sachem Farm

1998

Uncle Cullen: His karma was constipated. I gave him an enema.

Tom: You know I have nothing. Kendal: Turns out that's all I need.

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At the Earth's Core

1976

Dr Abner Perry: You cannot mesmerise me! I'm British!

top

Atanarjuat

2001

Oki: What are you all looking at? Haven't you ever seen anyone kick a dog before?

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Atlantic City

1980

Lou: You should have seen the Atlantic Ocean in those days.

Chrissie: Oh, I never use seatbelts. I don't believe in gravity.

Lou: Don't touch the suit.

Lou: Yes, it used to be beautiful - what with the rackets, whoring, guns.

top

Atomic Twister

2002 (TV)

(There are strong winds outside the police station.) Police Officer: It's only a tornado watch right now! Jake: Of course! They only give you a tornado warning when your house is 50 feet from where you built it!

top

Ator l'invincibile

1982

Ator: I love you. Sunya: And I love you. Ator: Why can't we marry? Sunya: Ator, we are brother and sister. Ator: I'll talk with our father.

top

Attack of the Bat Monsters

1999

Francis Gordon: When the monster's dead. the movie's over.

top

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

1990

(piloting helicopter using fake ammo) Professor Gangrene: Blast! If this were prime time, I could use real bullets.

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Attack

1956

Costa: Listen to me, Cooney! If you put me and my men in a wringer---if you send us out there and let us hang---I swear, I swear by all that's holy, I'll come back. I'll come back and take this grenade and shove it down your throat and pull the pin!

top

Audience with Billy Connolly, An

1985 (TV)

Billy Connolly: I joined the queue to become a welder without knowing what a welder was.

top

Auggie Rose

2000

John C. Nolan: I think you should go home and make love to your wife and pray nothing bad happens and ask yourself every day, "If it were to end right here, right now, would it be enough?"

top

August

1996

Ieuan Davies: Scribble, scribble, scribble... Makes you feel sorry for the paper, doesn't it?

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Aura Battler Dunbine

1983

Show Zama: Marvel Frozen. That's an Anglo-Saxon name, isn't it?

Show Zama: (bluffing on a kamikaze threat) The suicide attack is a specialty for us Japanese.

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Austin Prowler

1999

(Catching up after 30 years of suspended animation) Dr Pussy: Bay City Rollers? I'm sure they did better than the Beatles or the Stones. I hated those two bands.

Austin Prowler: Lucy in the sky with diamonds, baby!

Austin Prowler: Groovin' and lovin' is my bag, yeah.

top

Automatic

1994

Major West: In the old days, I would have raped and tortured you for hours. There's just no time for life's simple pleasures anymore. Oh, well. Goodnight.

top

Automatic

2005

Landon: It will be a French fiesta and we'll party till the sun burns me.

Brad: I'll have a gimlet, warm.

Austin: Y'all ready to cram one down?

top

Autumn in New York

2000

Will: I'm too old for you. Charlotte: Oh, no... I collect antiques. Will: Ouch.

top

Avalanche

1978

Caroline Brace: You're like the weather, you just happen.

top

Avaleuses, Les

1973

Countess Irina Karlstein: (voiceover) I earnestly wish an end would come to this bloody race I am forced to run.

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Avalon

1990

Sam Krichinsky: In the old days, if you had to pee, you peed on a tree - with no "may" or "can". That's progress.

Gabriel Krichinsky: Vy didja cud da TOIKEY?

Sam Krichinsky: If I knew things would no longer be, I would have tried to remember better.

top

Avenger Penguins

1993

(repeated line) Marlon: Penguins! Bike up!

top

Average Joe

2003

(in a private moment, Zach tells the producers his true feelings about John) Zach: I don't feel disdain for him. I just genuinely hate him.

(final elimination) Melana: Tonight, the romance has to end.

Walter Steffen: (said as he is going into the bus after getting voted off) Remember Wally! Remember Wally!

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Az prijde kocour

1963

School director: (subtitled version) Listen Robert, denoting your superior as a murderer in public doesn't seem like constructive criticism.

top

Azumi

2003

Azumi: Where do the stars go during the day?

top

Baadshah

1999

Raj: The amalgamation before the fluctuation and ramification of the constitutional ambiguity and the judicial paradoxical position can be a verbal turmoil. Casino manager: He's right!

top

BabaKiueria

1986 (TV)

Aboriginal Soldier: (to white man) What is this place - what do you call it? White Man: Well, its just the barbecue area... Aboriginal Soldier: (intrigued) Babakeuieria? Then we shall call this "Babakeuieria".

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Baby Bob

2002

Baby Bob: Sometimes I forget I have ears and then my hand goes up there and I'm like "hey what are those!"

top

Baby It's You

1983

Albert 'Sheik' Capadilupo: When we were in high school... Jill Rosen: (shouts) We're not in high school any more.

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Baby Snakes

1979

Frank Zappa: God made three mistakes. First was the man. Second was the wo-man. Third was the poodle. He meant to make a German Shepherd but he fucked up.

Frank Zappa: (referring to a stuffed animal's ass) We're gonna call this part "Burbank".

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Baby the Rain Must Fall

1965

Georgette Thomas: (woken up from Henry's banging) Henry, what's the matter? Henry Thomas: I dreamt I was back in the pen.

Henry Thomas: (yelling a couple feet away from Miss Kates bedroom door) I'M NOT GOING TO QUITE MY MUSIC! YOU HEAR THAT OLD LADY?... I'm not going to quite MUSIC!

top

Bachelor in Paradise

1961

(after entering his house in Paradise) Adam J. Niles: It's charming. What do you call this style... early Disneyland?

top

Back From the Front

1943

Moe: (to Nazis dressed as Hitler) ... now, blow your brains out. Herr Capitan: But mein fuher, we are Nazis, we have no brains.

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Back Street

1961

Paul Saxon: (presenting her with a framed portrait of himself) Do you think you can build a room around that? Rae Smith: Why not? I've built a life around it.

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