top

The Tangerine Bear

2000

Tangie: I want to get sold and find a family that I can be a part of.

top

The Tango Lesson

1997

Pablo: I am a dancer. And a Jew.

Sally: How did you choose the tango? Pablo: I didn't. The tango chose me.

Sally: It doesn't suit me to follow. It suits me to lead, and you can't deal with that.

top

The Tattered Dress

1957

Michael Reston: When I spill a drink on the carpet, my butler cleans up after me. James Gordon Blane: When you spill blood, your lawyer is expected to do the same. Michael Reston: Exactly.

top

The Teahouse of the August Moon

1956

Col Wainwright Purdy III: You'll need an interpreter... Captain Fisby: I can study the language. Col Wainwright Purdy III: No need. We won the war.

Col Wainwright Purdy III: Plan B calls for the schoolhouse to be pentagon-shaped.

top

The Tenant of Wildfell Hall

1996 (TV)

Helen Graham to Gilbert Markham: How is it Dr Johnson described a second marriage: a triumph of hope over experience?

top

The Tender Trap

1955

Sylvia Crewes: Joe, do you have any idea what's available to a woman of 33? Married men. Drunks. Pretty boys looking for someone to support them. Lunatics looking for their fifth divorce! It's quite a list, isn't it?

Joe McCall: Go ahead, punch me in the nose!... Charlie Reader: Why should I? You'd punch back!

top

The Tenement

2003

Oscar Valentine: Can't sleep Clowns will eat me.

Winston Korman: Fuck you! You still don't get the fucking part!

top

The Terminal Man

1974

(Benson is describing what he smells before he has a seizure) Benson: It smells like pig shit in turpentine.

top

The Terror of the Tongs

1961

The Tong Leader: Have you ever had your bones scraped, Captain? It is painful in the extreme I can assure you.

top

The Terror

1963

Helene: The crypt! It must be destroyed, and with it the dead. Andre: Don't speak of the dead anymore. You're with me now. Helene: I am possessed of the dead. Andre: You're a warm living woman. Who has told you these things? Helene: The dead.

top

The Test

2001

David Faustino: "Well if it's anal sex, I don't really see the point, so no."

top

The Texas Bad Man

1932

Tom Logan: Have you lived in San Luis all your life? Nancy Keefe: Not yet.

top

The Texas Wheelers

1974

Zack Wheeler: Never underestimate the power of laziness.

top

The Theory of Flight

1998

Jane: Money is a means to an end. Sex is that end.

Jane: Most people don't like to walk next to me. Richard: Yeah, and why is that? Jane: It implies friendship.

top

The Thing

2002 (VG)

Soldier: I'm locked, loaded, and ready to make shit dead.

Captain Blake: Now I'm gonna show you what I already know.

Captain Blake: Cover your ass. I'd hate to see you get an unwanted suppository.

Captain Blake: Game over, Whitley! Colonel Whitley: This game is just beginning.

top

The Third Date

2003/I

Ola: I don't want to start my performance from a place of fear.

top

The Thomas Crown Affair

1968

Thomas Crown: Left early. Please come with the money... or, you keep the car. All my love, Tommy.

top

The Three Lives of Thomasina

1964

Thomasina: They started out by calling me Thomas, but when they, um, got to know me better, they changed it to Thomasina.

Mrs MacKenzie: For a clever man, you have a lot to learn.

Andrew McDhui: Put it down. You're mad! Lori MacGregor: Aye, so I hear.

top

The Three Musketeers

1921

Cardinal Richelieu: If you were about to die, what would you do? D'Artagnan: Your Eminence, I should write the history of France.

top

The Three Musketeers

1939

D'Artagnan: She's walking a post office.

top

The Three Stooges in Orbit

1962

Moe: I can't tell from the meter if the tank is half full or half empty.

Moe: The visibility is zero Larry: Yeah, and we can't see either!

Professor Danforth: The butler will show you to your tombs - er - rooms, gentlemen!

top

The Thundering Herd

1933

Jude Pilchuk, Spraque's Partner: Ah, well, being in love ain't going to hurt him. Ain't no harm in that. It's getting hitched is where the trouble begins.

top

The Time of Your Life

1948

Joe: Living is an art, it's not bookkeeping. It takes an awful lot of rehearsal for a man to get to be himself.

top

The Toll Gate

1920

Woman: They may call you Black Deering, but by God, you're white!

top

The Tomb of Ligeia

1965

Verden Fell: Christopher, not ten minutes ago I... I tried to kill a stray cat with a cabbage, and all but made love to the Lady Rowena. I succeeded is squashing the cabbage and badly frightening the lady. If only I could lay open my own brain as easily as I did that vegetable, what rot would be freed from its grey leaves?

top

The Tony Danza Show

2004

Himself - Host: (to a contestant) You won a new refrigerator, great! Where you gonna put it?

top

The Toolbox Murders

1978

Joey Ballard: I'll be home for dinner. What are you fixin'? Laurie Ballard: Ah! La specialty of the house; chicken la TV dinners.

top

The Torchy Battery Boy

1957

Mr Bumbledrop: I wish I had a little boy of my own that would help me. Oh, I've a wonderful idea. I'll make a toy-boy.

top

The Touch

2002

Karl: I'd offer you a drink, but that would be completely out of character.

top

The Tower

1993 (TV)

CAS: The temperature is being raised for your benefit and comfort Mr Littlehill: Son of a bitch.

top

The Tracey Ullman Show

1987

(first lines spoken by the Simpsons) Bart Simpson: Uh, Dad? Homer Simpson: What? Bart Simpson: What is the mind? Is it just a system of impulses? Or is it something tangible? Homer Simpson: Relax. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind!

top

The Treasure Seekers

1979

Marian Casey: (in surprise at finding Baker alive) Sharks ate you! Stack Baker: Ah, you know I can swim better than that!

top

The Trials of Oz

1991 (TV)

Brian Leary: Earl's Court being an area of London famous for male perverts. Richard Neville: It's famous for Australians.

Brian Leary: (reading from magazine) I wish I had a chick who could fuck like Led Zeppelin, but she'd wear me out in a week.

top

The Trigger Effect

1996

Joe: The Martians have landed. They want our women.

(Her husband and Joe are arguing.) Annie: Boys, if you can't play nice, we're not gonna have any more of these little sleepovers.

Matthew: Is it bad out there? Cop: Out where?

top

The Trip to Bountiful

1985

Mrs Carrie Watts: I guess when you've lived longer than your house and your family, then you've lived long enough.

top

The Triumph of Sherlock Holmes

1935

Lestrade: On the way I'll tell you all I know. Holmes: We're not going very far then, are we?

top

The Triumph of the Nerds: The Rise of Accidental Empires

1996 (TV)

Steve Jobs: The problem with Microsoft is they just have no taste. They have no taste and I don't mean that in a small way, I mean that in a big way.

top

The Trojan Women

1971

Cassandra: If God still lives, my marriage will be bloodier than Helen's.

Cassandra: If war comes, to die well is the victor's crown.

top

The Trollenberg Terror

1958

(last lines) (in the observatory room, looking out the panorama window) Prof. Crevett: (spoken with German accent) Well, Alan. For the first time in weeks, the Trollenberg is free from clouds. Alan Brooks: Yes - and let's hope it stays that way.

top

The Truly Twisted Tale

2002

Axel: Why did you break my computer? Dewey-Dewey: There were fishes in it Axel: It was my screensaver!

top

The Truth About Spring

1964

Spring Tyler: I don't know who you are or where you come from, but if that's all you have to say, then shove off!

Cark: I could tell you where to go and you wouldn't need a map.

top

The Tunnel

1935

Richard 'Mack' McAllan: There are bigger things than money. Airways Magnate: We don't deal in 'em.

Varlia Lloyd: You don't like him do you? Mostyn: One likes human beings.

top

The Two Mrs Carrolls

1947

Geoffrey Carroll: I have a feeling this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful hatred.

top

The Ultimate Ad Show

2004

presenter: Italian advert that one. Stylish and well executed. Just like Mussolini.

top

The Ultimate Christmas Present

2000 (TV)

Mrs Claus: Crumpet and Sparky will be here before you can name the reindeer.

Edwin Hadley: The Los Angeles area is experiencing snow.

Santa Claus: The important thing now, is to stop this storm.

top

The Ultimate Lie

1996 (TV)

Claire: Not only do they lie, they lie about why they're lying.

top

The Ultimate Warrior

1975

Melinda: That's Carrot. He's always there and always on the lie. Carson: He seems to be a very self confident young man.

Carrot: We will both go to hell, you and me!

top

The Unbelievable Truth

1989

Josh Hutton: The last time I took a drink, I got into a car crash and I killed a girl. Otis: No! Josh Hutton: Yeah. Otis: That's enough to drive you to drink.

top

The Unbreakable Likeness of Lincoln

2000

Nurse Lindy: As is often the case with the aged, Mrs B's ability to smell is declining, so she can't tell if the meat she's eating is rotting. We save a ton on grocery bills.

top

The Undead

1957

(in loud, incredibly angry sounding voice) Quintus: STAY!

Smolkin, the Gravedigger: (singing) Three Witches have heads / But they'll sever them all / The head of Helen is the third that must fall / All the Kings horses and all the Kings men cannot put the witches together again.

top

The Undercover Kid

1996

Voice of 'Nellie': I know what: call the President. Max Anderson: I can't just call the President, they'd lock me up for sure.

top

The Underground Comedy Movie

1999

Virgin Hunter: Can I redecorate your lower intestines?

top

The Underworld Story

1950

District Attorney Ralph Munsey: Take it easy, Reese. Things are tough all over. Pretty soon a man won't be able to sell his own mother.

Catherine Harris: Did you ever rob graves, Mr Reese? Mike Reese: No future in it.

top

The Unearthly

1957

Lobo: Time-fo'-go-ta-bed.

top

The Unguarded Moment

1956

Mr Bennett: Leonard, when will you learn? Everybody does bad things. Everybody has something hidden. Everybody.

top

The Uninvited

1944

Pamela Fitzgerald: Important decisions have to be made quickly.

top

The Unmentionables

1963

Narrator: On October 28, Agent Mess slapped the handcuffs on Rocky and Mugsy and brought them to justice. They were sentenced to 20 years of hard labor, which was a little tough on Agent Mess, who was never able to find the keys to his handcuffs.

top

The Unnamable

1988

Howard: Randolph! They're all dead! Randolph: (closing the Necronomicon) That's to be expected.

top

The Unsinkable Molly Brown

1964

Molly Brown: It's not the money I love, it's the not having it I hate.

Shamus Tobin: Molly sure know what she was doin' when she made this place red. The blood don't show.

top

The Unsuspected

1947

Victor Grandison: The nicest thing about guests is their departure

Jane Moynihan: You're as limp as an old girdle

Steven Howard: You don't look like you could deny yourself anything Althea Keane: I generally get what I want

top

The Untold

2002

(after Winston aims and pulls the trigger of an empty 357 Magnum which he didn't know was empty) Clayton: I... I'm never going to buy another one of your books!

Harlan: C'mon you ape. Come and get it. Clayton: Uh, Mr H, could you really not do that, he might understand you. Harlan: That's what I'm counting on.

top

The Untouchables

1959

Police Officer: There is nothing in that area... except an old abandoned warehouse.

top

The Up-Standing Sitter

1948

Daffy Duck: Life is bitter for I am a sitter and put little kiddies to bed. While I tuck the sheet around their feet, they're busy slappin' my head. They throw their trains and rattle my brains; my head is full of dents. No wonder I'm sour; goes on by the hour! And each hour I earn fifty cents.

top

The Vampyr: A Soap Opera

1992 (TV)

Miranda: Christ! My father! Alex: Christ! My trousers! Davenant: Christ! This place looks like a battlefield!

top

The Vanishing Private

1942

Sergeant Pete: Good morning, General. Did you see a little guy that you can't see?

(last lines) Sgt. Pete: (Pete is in a cell, trapped in a straitjacket) I ain't crazy. You know I ain't crazy! Go tell the general that I ain't crazy. Donald Duck: Do you think *I'm* crazy?

top

The Veil

1958

(first lines of each episode) Boris Karloff: Good evening. Tonight I'm going to tell you another strange and unusual story of the unexplainable which lies behind The Veil.

top

The Velocity of Gary

1998

Gary: Gary dreams about kissing someone so hard his mouth hurts. He dreams about kissing someone so soft his heart hurts, so long his neck hurts, so deep his throat hurts. Gary dreams about kissing someone so... completely that nothing hurts.

top

The Venetian Affair

1967

Frank Rosenfeld: I'm sorry about her. It's a stinkin' business. The job had to get done. Bill Fenner: Go to hell, Rosie.

Bill Fenner: Hey, what's your hurry? Giulia Almeranti: What's yours?

Bill Fenner: Wait -- what's your hurry? Guilia Almeranti: What's yours?

top

The Vicious Sweet

1997

Grimaldi: Art is never easy.

top

The Victoria Cross: For Valour

2003 (TV)

Jeremy Clarkson: (on Major Cain) His family didn't *know* he'd won a Victoria Cross until after he died. He hadn't thought to mention it.

top

The Video Game Revolution

2004 (TV)

Host: The future of video games doesn't lie in the next PlayStation 10 or Xbox 7. The answer lies in Lilly. A little blind girl who loves to play Pokmon.

top

The Video Tape

2003

Mr Watson: Well, Sir. It looks like you have seen everything.

top

The Violent Men

1955

(No one attends Wade Matlock's funeral) John Parrish: Matlock wasn't the kind to have any friends after he was dead.

top

The Violent Years

1956

Detective: These aren't kids. These are morons!

top

The Virgin Queen

1955

Queen Elizabeth I: It is I who makes the policy of this room, I and I alone!

top

The Virginian

1929

The Virginian: If you want to call me that, smile.

top

The Virginian

1946

Steve Andrews: A fine way to treat a lady! Virginian: How was I to know she was a lady? She was with you, wasn't she?

Virginian: When you call me that, smile. Trampas: With a gun against my belly, I always smile.

top

The Void

2001 (V)

Prof. Steven Price: I'm not just a pretty face, you know. Prof. Eva Soderstrom: You are, but that's beside the point.

top

The Wackiest Wagon Train in the West

1976

Dusty: Gee, that was a bright idea. Wonder why I didn't think of it! Callahan: Because it was a bright idea.

top

The Walking Dead

1936

(while being lead to the electric chair) John Ellman: He'll believe me.

top

The Walking Stick

1970

Deborah: Of course you can. What's love!? love is sex, hate, ambitious, selfishness, you name it.

top

The Wannabes

2003

Aurora 'Rory' Van Dyke: (after getting caught on "Alone With An Old Bag") I can explain Granville Van Dyke: I'd prefer that you didn't. I could never understand a darn thing you said anyway Aurora 'Rory' Van Dyke: (speaks gibberish)

(repeated line) Danny: All riiiggghhhttt.

top

The War Effort

2003

Agent Batman: Let's try a true or false question: I associate with swarthy characters named Muhammar? Habib? Akmed? Bob Hope: You do?

Roy Tuttle: You know who's looking good these days? Jeff Dabney: Who? Roy Tuttle: John Ashcroft. Mmmm.

top

The War Illusionist

2001 (TV)

Jasper Maskelyne: If I could stand in the focus of powerful footlights and deceive attentive and undisturbed onlookers, seperated from me only by the width of the orchestra pit. Then I could most certainly devise means of deceiving German observers a mile away or more.

top

The War Lover

1962

Captain Buzz Rickson: What's the matter Bolland, afraid to die? 1st Lt Ed Bolland: Damn right I am. But you're scared to live.

top

The Watermelon Woman

1996

Cheryl: Hey! Hey, you're Martin Pumphrey! Street Magician: No ma'am, I'm a magician.

top

The Wave

1981 (TV)

Teacher: Strength through community! Strength through action!

Teacher: Strength through discipline, strength through community, strength through action!

top

The Way to the Stars

1945

Squadron Leader Sil Carter: Well chaps, you don't need me to tell you, the target's the same as yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that.

top

The Wayne and Shuster Hour

1952

Calpurnia: If I told him once I told him a thousand times, Julie don't go!

top

The Web

1947

Bob Regan: When I'm worth forty million dollars, I'm going to have a secretary looks exactly like you. Noel Faraday: Oh, my tastes are fairly simple. Twenty million would be quite enough.

Bob Regan: France fell in eighteen days, and you're not as tough as France.

top

The Wedding Tackle

2000

Hal: My grandfather used to say if you aren't in bed by 11: 00, then just go home.

top

The Whales of August

1987

Libby Strong: Busy, Busy, busy, always busy.

top

The Wheeler Dealers

1963

Henry Tyroon: You don't go wheelin' 'n' dealin' for money. You do it for fun. Money's just the way you keep score.

top

The Whirlwind Rider

1934

Buffalo Bill Jr.: While we're in town tonight, Alice, we might look up the parson. I'd like to see how you carry my brand.

top

The White Buffalo

1977

Abel Pinkney: When you get through planting them two, I got three more customers (bodies) for you inside the coach. And I believe they got enough money to pay for their own box. Amos Bixby: That's right kindly of you, Abel. You better lay them out in the snow until I get back. That will keep them fresh.

top

The White Cliffs of Dover

1944

(Of Susan.) Susan Dunn's landlady: Such a nice young thing. Not a bit like an American.

top

The White Tower

1950

Martin Ordway: Oh, what do we have here? Paul DeLambre: (holding two bottles) Brandy. One for medicinal purposes, and one for celebration - when we reach the top. Martin Ordway: What if you don't? Paul DeLambre: Then for consolidation.

top

The Wild Bunch: An Album in Montage

1996

Sam Peckinpah: Even the battle was a ballet.

top

The Wild Life

1984

(repeated line) Tom Drake: It's casual.

top

The Wild Man of Borneo

1941

Francine Diamond: There ain't no flies on me! J. Daniel Thompson: You can't blame the flies, Francine.

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