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The Routine

1999

Paul: Is this a private party... or can I come and play?

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The Roy Rogers Show

1951

Dale Evans: How did you get in here? Chick Dillon: The back way. Everyone else is out front taking care of the Sheriff. (Chick brandishes his pistol) Chick Dillon: Seems he took one of Betsy's little lead pills. If you'll be quiet, she'll be quiet.

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The Royal Family

1991

Kim: I wonder how I know when I'm gonna meet Mr Right? Victoria: Well, first off it's gonna be Dr Right. And you'll know cause we gonna tell you!

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The Runestone

1990

Fanducci: What's your name, officer? Strange: It's Strange, Sir. Fanducci: I don't care how fucking strange it is. Strange: No Sir, it's officer Strange.

Chief Richardson: I'll tell you what it is, Fanducci. It's a big guy in a bulletproof dog suit.

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The Saint in London

1939

Penny Parker: It's the first time I ever heard a bullet. Simon Templar: The one you don't hear is the bad one.

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The Saint of Fort Washington

1993

Jerry: Maybe you ain't schizophrenic. Maybe you're just a saint.

(to a black couple who tipped him for washing their windshield) Matthew: Thank you. May all your children be white.

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The Sandbaggers

1978

Burnside: If I want to send an agent to the lavatory, I need the Foreign Secretary's permission. If I want him to do anything when he gets there, I need the Prime Minister's written approval!

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The Saphead

1920

Bertie: All they do here is knock off hats, but I enjoy it. It occupies the mind.

Bertie: Do all these seats cost 100,000 dollars?

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The Satanic Rites of Dracula

1974

Count Dracula: (Speaks to Van Helsing) In the days to come, you will pray for death... release...

Count Dracula: (to Prof Van Helsing) My revenge has spread over centuries and has just begun!

Jessica Van Helsing: Stop him! She's a vampire!

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The Saturday Night Kid

1929

Customer: Which way to the roof garden? Bill: (unsure of what else to say) Um... Up!

Miss Streeter: (addressing actors in her pageant by their character names) Stupidity? Go find Pleasure!

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The Scalphunters

1968

Joe Bass: Scalp hunters. The wickedest, crookedest trade to ever turn a dollar.

Joe Bass: You mean you want to stay with these, with these heathens?

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The Scarecrow

1920

Farmhand: I don't care how she votes, I'm going to marry her!

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The Scarecrow

1972 (TV)

Richard Talbot: (to Goodby Rickby) Charm all the broomsticks you like; bewitch all the mirrors and saucepans, but gull no more money out of young girls! Mind you, we're not so enterprising in this town as in Salem, but we may come to it!

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The Scarlet and the Black

1983 (TV)

Monsignor Hugh O'Flaherty: Are you trying to put a crimp in my social life? Col Herbert Kappler: Damn you and your social life!

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The Scarlet Clue

1945

Tommy Chan: You know Pop, I've got an idea about this case. Charlie Chan: Yes, well? Tommy Chan: Well, I had an idea, but it's gone now. Charlie Chan: Possibly could not stand solitary confinement.

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The Scarlet Empress

1934

Grand Duke Peter: I want to play with my toys!

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The Scarlet Pimpernel

1987 (TV)

Sir Percy Blakeney, Bart.: They seek him here, they seek him there. / Those Frenchies seek him everywhere. / Is he in heaven, or is he in hell? / This damned elusive Pimpernel.

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The Scorned

2005 (TV)

Seth: You know I don't have a good gaydar.

Raina: (to Matt) You hurt me. That's why I hurt them. All those cheaters, they all deserve to die.

Sandra: For thirty-thousand dollars, I should get your dick in a jar.

Nichola: (while being pulled away) I know where you live!

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The Scorpio Letters

1967 (TV)

Phoebe Stewart: Christopher - is that an American name? Joe Christopher: (being loaded into an ambulance) Sure! Didn't you ever hear of Columbus?

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The Scoundrel

1935

Anthony Mallare: I'm never nice.

Cora Moore: (upon reading about Mallare's plane crash) I've just learned that there IS a God!

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The Scream Team

2002 (TV)

Jumper: It got to be know or never! Ian Carlyle: Know! Claire Carlyle: Never!

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The Screaming Skull

1958

Narrator: "The Screaming Skull" is a motion picture that reaches its climax in shocking horror. It's impact is so terrifying that it may have an unforeseen effect. It may *kill* you!

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The Screwy Truant

1945

Truant officer: Duh--gee whiz. He hit me with everything but the kitchen sink. Screwy: Well, don't want to disappoint you, chum.

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The Scribe

1997

Secretary: If you had used a pencil, you'd be done by now.

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The Sea Chase

1955

Capt Karl Ehrlich: I won't lie for you! Counsel General Hepke: Of course not! I wouldn't think of asking you to lie... you haven't had the proper diplomatic training.

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The Sea of Grass

1947

Brice Chamberlain: Why do women insist on loving men for what they want them to be instead of what they are?

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The Second Renaissance Part II

2003

The Instructor: May there be mercy on man and machine for their sins.

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The Secret Agent

1996

Stevie: Then... then what... what are they there for, Winnie? Winnie: The police are there so as them as have nothing can't take nothing away from them as have a lot.

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The Secret Files of the SpyDogs

1998

Narrator: (over opening credits) Behold... the dog. We know him as man's best friend, but... what do we really know? In truth, all dogs belong to a secret organization dedicated to keeping mankind safe from REALLY BAD STUFF. These are their amazing true stories. These are the Secret Files of the Spydogs!

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The Secret Force

1995

Marty: What did they do to you, man? Skully: Hey, they just messed with my head a bit, buddy.

Marty: C'mon, Skully. That was a bad war we fought back there. We don't wanna fight another one here.

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The Secret Life of Ian Fleming

1990 (TV)

Leda St Gabriel: She's a spy! Ian Fleming: I know. Leda St Gabriel: How? Ian Fleming: Her lips were cold.

Ian Fleming: Didn't you get my memo? Admiral Godfrey: You send me a hundred memos a week!

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The Secret Lives of Dentists

2002

Slater: Now, you should really listen to her because she is on the ball. Leah: Nobody asked you, ya big slimebucket!

Slater: These children are monsters, they should be struck... can I hit them? David Hurst: No.

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The Secret of Santa Vittoria

1969

Italo Bombolini: "Mathematically"! If I only had a mind like his. *Math-ay-mat-tee-cally*!

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The Self Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior

2005 (V)

(on the Warrior hailing from "Parts Unknown") Bobby Heenan: I think he was just too damn dumb to remember where his hometown was!

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The Seventh Coin

1993

Lisa: Okay look, if I'm wrong, then you're the Post's new cover boy. But what if I'm right?

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The Shadow Men

1998

Stan Mills: It isn't paranoia when they REALLY are out to get you.

Stan Mills: MIB, meet TNT.

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The Shadow of Light

2002 (V)

Elk Shadow: (looking at a photograph) Devil! Devil! Devil!

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The Shanghai Gesture

1941

Poppy: You said Doctor Omar. Doctor of what? Omar: Doctor of nothing, Miss Smith. It sounds important and hurts no one. Unlike most doctors.

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The Sheik

1921

Lady Diane: Why - why have you brought me here? Ahmed: Mon Dieu, are you not woman enough to know?

Ahmed: When an Arab sees a woman he wants, he takes her.

Ahmed: Lie still, you little fool!

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The Sign of the Cross

1932

(the Empress, soaking naked in a tub of ass's milk and calling to her handmaiden) Poppaea: Take off your clothes and get in here!

Emperor Nero: ... the food, the wine, the delicious debauchery!

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The Silent Force

2001

Frank Stevens: Tag - you're it.

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The Silent Question

2005

Charlotte: The pattern is torturing, I see it hovering in the dining room, lying in wait on the stairs...

Charlotte: Dull enough to confuse, dull enough to confuse, and yet it strangles so.

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The Silver Chalice

1954

Saint Peter: In such a world, the little cup will look very lonely.

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The Silver Star

1955

Barmaid: You're looking for the sheriff. Daniels: Yes ma'am Barmaid: But you don't know the sheriff. Daniels: No ma'am. Barmaid: If you don't know the sheriff, then why are you looking for him? Daniels: I come to kill him ma'am.

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The Simpsons: Bart vs. the Space Mutants

1991 (VG)

Bart Simpson: Eat my shorts.

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The S.I.N.

2001 (V)

Jason Carter: So. . .how you liking it so far? (Matthews, Michael II) @Brad Morrison : (sarcastic) Well. . .so far I've been chased by a sweep team and had a gun in my face. . .other than that. . .not too bad.

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The Single Girls

1974

Blue: You say you feel safe with me - how do you know I'm not the weirdo?

Allison: Where have you been?" Shannon: Taking care of all these lonely love-starved devils!

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The Sinister Urge

1961

(Mary sees Ed Wood posters on pornographer Johnny Ride's office wall.) Mary Smith: Are gangster and horror films all you produce? Johnny Ryde: Those are made by friends of mine. I think you'll find my type of picture entirely different.

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The Sisters

1938

Ned Elliott: Unhappiness ain't so bad. It makes happiness all the keener.

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The Six Million Dollar Man

1974

(Opening narration.) Oscar Goldman: Steve Austin, astronaut. A man barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic man. Steve Austin will be that man. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster.

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The Sixth Man

1997

Antoine Tyler: You should forget females. Stick to Nintendo.

Kenny: I'm gonna call the Ghostbusters on your ass!

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The Sixth Scent

1999

Cole: I smell dead people. Dr Ian Malcolm: How do you know that's what you smell? Cole: Because after I smell them, I see them.

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The Size of Watermelons

1996

Gnome: What is *important* to know is that the illegal annexation of the Hawaiian island chain was one of the most politically foul, grotesque and retarded moves since the Mongols gave back Europe!

Alex: Well, Quentin Tarantino said "I didn't go to film school, I went to films." Patrick: Yeah, but Quentin Tarantino eats my ass.

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The Skydivers

1963

Joe Moss: Coffee? I LIKE coffee!

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The Sleeping Tiger

1954

Dr Clive Esmond: What do you think of him, Glenda? Is he worth saving?

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The Sleepover Club

2003

Rosie Cartwright: (about her father) I haven't seen him laugh like that since Mum died

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The Slugger's Wife

1985

Burly DeVito: I'm a manager, not a pimp!

top

The Smokers

2000

Jefferson: Do you like being a modern woman Karen?

Jefferson: (answering phone) Dominatrix Express, Faster Service at your Service.

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The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour

1967

Tom: Mom liked you best! Dick: Lower your voice! Tom: (Basso profundo) Mom liked you best!

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The Soldier

2003

Sgt Miller: (to Pvt. Hicks) ... Hicks, you're dead already. You just don't know it son.

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The Son of Kong

1933

Carl Denham: Stick with me and you'll be wearing diamonds.

(Hildie sings Runnaway Blues) Carl Denham: Hey, she's got something there. Captain: It certainly isn't a voice!

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The Song of Songs

1933

Lily Czepanek: I can't take my clothes off! Richard Waldow: Why? Why can't you? Lily Czepanek: Why, I'd, I'd be undressed!

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The Sons of Katie Elder

1965

Bud Elder: I'm going with you. I can draw pretty fast. We can be famous -- like the Dalton Brothers! John Elder: They're famous -- but they're just a little bit dead. They were hung!

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The Sound and the Fury

1959

Quentin Compson: I just happen to be an eccentric.

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The Spaceman and King Arthur

1979

(At film's end) Tom Trimble: Live happily ever after. Isn't that what you're supposed to do in a situation like this?

Clarence: (Waving a US flag) It's from his Uncle Sam!

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The Specialist

1994

Ned: Good, nice sense of irony, blowing up the bomb unit. Ned, you may ask yourself, why is it my turn to die. Ask God. he kills all the time. Why shouldn't I?

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The Spiral Staircase

1946

Constable: She's dead! Dr Parry: Well, in that case, Constable, I certainly can't do her any harm.

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The Spirit of '76

1917

Walter Butler: (intertitle) Your foul lies have aroused my wrath!

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The Split

1968

Dave Negli: Listen, Marty, the last man I killed I did it for $5000. For $85,000 I'd kill you 17 times.

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The Spoilers

1942

Glennister: I imagine that dress is supposed to have a chilling effect. Well if it is, it isn't working, 'cuz you'd look good to me, baby, in a burlap bag.

Idabelle: I sure hope there's some colored folks on that boat. I is gettin' mighty tired pretending Eskimos are from Virginia.

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The Spooky House

2003

Bully: It's been empty for years. No one will buy it. But, people say that crazy old man still lives there. Bully Buddy: Crazy! Bully: Rumor says he kills people and eats them if they enter his yard. Bully Buddy: Yeah! Fava beans!

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The Squaw Man

1914

Lady Diana: If you are an honest man, you may kiss me goodbye.

Nat-U-Rich: Me kill 'um.

Captain James Wynnegate: (on death of Nat-U-Rich) Poor little mother!

top

The St. Francisville Experiment

2000

(repeated line) Tim Thompson: I love all the ghosts!

Psychic - Madison Charap - Participant: There is definitely something in this room with me.

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The St. Valentine's Day Massacre

1967

Capone: Wanna know something Jack? I like a guy who can use his head for something beside a hatrack!

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The Stand at Apache River

1953

Colonel Morsby: We scattered them from Mexico to California. We broke their ranks, and they re-formed. We burnt their villages, and they lived in caves. They have a will to survive, a passion for life, that shames any white man's. It never dies. Nothing destroys the Apache but death.

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The Star Chamber

1983

Superior Court Judge Steven R. Hardin: There's a lot of nobility in this room. Must be the paneling.

Judge Benjamin Caulfield: Someone has taken justice and hidden it in the law.

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The Star

1952

(To an Oscar statuette.) Margaret Elliott: Come on, Oscar, let's you and me go get drunk!

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The Stepfather

1987

Jerry Blake: Wait a minute, who am I here? Sue: Jerry? Jerry Blake: That's right. Jerry Blake. Thanks, honey.

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The Sterile Cuckoo

1969

'Pookie' Adams: It's gonna be nice to get away from all these weirdos.

'Pookie' Adams: (before sex) Wanna peel a red hot tomato?

'Pookie' Adams: Some people guzzle God like it was a keg of beer.

'Pookie' Adams: Apis mellifica - that's short for "bee", right?

top

The Steve Allen Show

1956

Gordon Hathaway: Hi ho, Steverino!

Host: Sir, are you nervous? Nervous Chap: NO!

top

The Stone Tape

1972 (TV)

Peter Brock: (on analyzing a ghost by electronic means) Let's say it's a mass of data... waiting for a correct interpretation.

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The Stones

2004

(Seamus pouring beer into a bowl of cereal) Karly: You know, in America we don't call that breakfast, we call that alcoholism. Seamus: Yes, in Ireland we call it the same thing... but we've learned to embrace it.

top

The Story of Alexander Graham Bell

1939

Alexander Graham Bell: Mr Watson, come here, I want you!

Mrs Hubbard: Mr Watson, please eat something. You must have the appetite of a bird. Thomas Watson: Yes, Ma'am, a vulture.

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The Story of David

1976 (TV)

Samuel: Yaweh chose you. King Saul: Out of the mouth of Samuel.

King Saul: Let me tell you something David. Young David: Yes? King Saul: Never let an old man pour oil on your head.

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The Story of Temple Drake

1933

Temple Drake: Why do you keep the baby in the wood box? Ruby Lemar: So the rats don't get it.

Maid: That Mr Judge would sure know more about his daughter if he did her laundry!

top

The Storybook Squares

1969

Announcer: (as Guardian of the Gate) Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye! Today, two young contestants will compete for valuable prizes on, The Storybook Squares!

top

The Strange World of Planet X

1957

Brig. General Cartwright: There's no one else available to operate this computer of yours. Dr Laird: But a... woman? This is preposterous. This is highly skilled work!

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The Stranger Wore a Gun

1953

Shelby Conroy: This town is a disgrace to everyone in it.

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The Stranger

1995

Jonesy: HEY! Lawman says you can tell me what happened to my friends. The Stranger: They're all dead. Jonesy: What killed them? The Stranger: Bad manners.

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The Student Prince in Old Heidelberg

1927

Kids in the street: (happily, looking at photo of Young Prince Karl in shop window) He's going to be a wonderful king!

Old couple at the window: (tiredly, looking at King Karl's marriage procession) It must be wonderful to be a king!

top

The Substitute 3: Winner Takes All

1999 (TV)

Prof. Nicole Stewart: So what do you hope to gain by this? Karl Thomasson: The usual. Truth. Justice. The American way.

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The Suburbanators

1995

Man on the Bus: What language is that you're speaking? Roger: Arabic. Man on the Bus: Arabic. Really. Roger: Yep. Man on the Bus: That's interesting. I always thought Arabic was more throatier and harsher, you know like, rr-rrrr. Sure that's Arabic? Roger: Yeah, I'm sure.

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The Suburbans

1999

Danny: I love you more than anything else I have ever felt or known. It doesn't matter what I do because if it's with you, then I know I'm successful. I love you and I just wanna be with you.

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The Sunchaser

1996

Michael: You have a television. Navajo woman: No. I get Good Morning America through smoke signals.

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The Swan Princess II

1997

Bridget: Rock rock! Rock rock! Jean-Bob: She's calling a rock! We're doomed!

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The Swan

2004

(Gina is on the phone and has just found out that her home was flooded in a tropical storm) Gina Davis: My house got flooded out?

top

The Sweeper

1996

Sean: You want to be a cop like daddy? Young Mark: Shit, yeah! Dale Goddard: Watch your mouth, Mark.

top

The Swinger

1966

Sir Hubert Charles: Sir Hubert doesn't like a challenge! Sir Hubert likes a sure thing!

top

The Tale of the Bunny Picnic

1986 (TV)

(after talking quietly to himself in bed) Bean: (loudly) Wait a minute, Wait a minute, wait a minute.. (falls off the bed) Lugsy: we're waiting...

top

The Tall Texan

1953

Tinnen: How do we know we can trust the Indians to keep their word? Trask: You got a point there. Indians got a point too. They've had dealings with whites before.

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