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The Passion of Ayn Rand

1999

Barbara: I didn't know you were an actor. Frank: Neither did anyone else in Hollywood.

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The Passion of Darkly Noon

1995

Callie: I love you... (Darkly stops in his tracks) I love you, Darkly. (Jude fires the rifle) Darkly Noon: Who will love me now?

Ringmaster: Can you help us? Do you know the way out? Callie: (pause) Yes.

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The Patriot

1998/I

Dr Wesley McClaren: (to Holly while entering the reception room at the hospital) Get your homework done and if there are any guys in here no flirting. No dating until you are 40.

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The Paul Lynde Show

1972

Sally Simms: Dad, how's the rat race? Paul Simms: The rats are winning.

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The Paul Merton Series

1991

Paul Merton: (reading the "A to Z") Can't wait to see what happens at the end. The characters aren't up to much but the places, they seem so real!

Paul Merton: The first Underground station ever opened was Baker Street in 1906. What was the point of that? Where would you go?

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The Pennsic War: A Video Documentary

1991 (V)

Cariadoc: There are a variety of different definitions of what the SCA is, and the definition I like is: to study the past by selective re-creation.

Wolfgang Krieger: We're re-enacting a castle siege. We've got three walls of bay hales...

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The Perfect Candidate

2004

Kenneth Keith Kallen: (reading newspaper) Oh, Marmaduke! Won't you ever learn?

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The Perfect You

2002

Whitney: Oh no, are you okay? Oh my God! Jimmy: What happened? Whitney: I hit you with my car. Jimmy: On purpose?

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The Peter Potamus Show

1966

Yippee: For king! Yappee: For country! Yahooey: And, most of all, for ten cents an hour!

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The Phantom Creeps

1939

(after surviving a car crash, Zorka notices the dead driver of the other car resembles him) Dr Alex Zorka: How fortunate, this vill simplify everything!

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The Phantom Planet

1961

Lt Ray Makonnen: You know, Captain, every year of my life I grow more and more convinced that the wisest and the best is to fix our attention on the good and the beautiful. If you just take the time to look at it.

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The Phantom President

1932

Prof. Aikenhead: Blair lacks political charm. Blair has no flair for savoir faire.

Doc Varney: I'm just trying to figure out which one of us looks the most alike.

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The Phantom Tollbooth

1970

Tock: Time is a gift, given to you, given to give you the time you need, the time you need to have the time of your life.

Humbug: A slavish concern for the composition of words is the sign of a bankrupt intellect. Be gone, odious wasp! You smell of decayed syllables.

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The Phil Silvers Show

1955

MSgt. Ernest G. Bilko: You said "but". I've put the finger on the whole problem. You're a "but" man. Don't say "but". That little word "but" is the difference between success and failure.

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The Pick-up Artist

1987

Jack Jericho: Did anyone ever tell you that you have the face of a Botticelli and the body of a Degas?

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The Pill

2003/II

Beth: Take it! Take it! Take it!

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The Pink Panther and Sons

1984

(repeated line) Howl: But Finko...

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The Pink Panther Show

1969

(repeated lines) Sargeant Toto: Yes, Inspector. Inspector Clouseau: Don't say "yes". Say "oui". Sargeant Toto: Yes, Inspector.

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The Pit

1981

Jamie Benjamin: Abergail's missing and so is Mrs Oliphant, aren't they? And Freddy and Christina... They don't eat chocolate bars. You know what they eat?

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The Plagiarist

2003

Irene: I could have written the script. Oscar: You mistake dictation for creation. Irene: I wrote it down. Oscar: They were my words. Irene: God spoke to Moses and he wrote it down. Oscar: Moses wasn't God. Irene: You're not God. Oscar: You're not Moses.

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The Plainsman

1966

Wild Bill Hickok: I ought to notch your ears for you. A man like you ought to be marked.

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The Playhouse

1921

Audience: This Keaton fellow appears to be the whole show!

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The Pleasure Seekers

1964

Maggie Williams: Susie, you're so dumb! Susie Higgins: I know I'm dumb! But it's all I have to work with.

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The Pledge

2001

(after informing the Larsens of their daughter's murder) Margaret Larsen: There can't be such devils out there. Jerry Black: There *are* such devils.

Stan Krolak: There is no Wizard, Jerry. Jerry Black: You don't know what the fuck you are dealing with! The Wizard is real and I know it!

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The Plot to Kill Hitler

1990 (TV)

Count Claus von Stauffenberg: If it came down to an all-out struggle between our Army and the SS, where would you stand? General Fromm: With those left standing.

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The Plunderers

1948

Sam Borden: Tap, it ain't every man that gets the chance to see his own funeral. I don't know that I rightly like it though. It seems kind of ghostly like. There's my cousin, Pete, all red-eyed... mostly from corn, not from grief. And there's banker Havens sad as can be. But probably wondering will my house bring money enough at auction to cover the mortgage.

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The Pointer

1939

Mickey Mouse: (finding out it's a bear behind him and not Pluto) Oh-oh-oh-oh! I-I-It's you. Oh, heh-heh, I mean, it is you, ain't it? I-I mean, isn't it? Heh-heh, heh. I thought you were Pluto, but you're not Pluto. You're you, huh? Huh? Well, I'm, uh, Mickey Mouse. You know? Mickey Mouse? I hope you've heard of me, I hope.

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The Pom Pom Girls

1976

Johnnie Chrystal: Hey, Duane! That crease, down the middle of your face - is that your asshole?

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The Poseidon Adventure

2005 (TV)

Badawi: You'll die with me. Mike Rogo: Not today.

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The Postman Always Rings Twice

1981

Cora: He wants to have a baby... How'm I gonna do that, Frank!!?

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The Power of Nightmares: The Rise of the Politics of Fear

2004 (TV)

Narrator: Those with the darkest fears, became the most powerful.

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The Premature Burial

1962

Guy Carrell: Can you possibly conceive it. The unendurable oppression of the lungs, the stifling fumes of the earth, the rigid embrace of the coffin, the blackness of absolute night and the silence, like an overwhelming sea.

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The Price Is Right Primetime Specials

2002 (mini)

(upon seeing a picture of Bob Barker from his navy days) Bob Barker: That baby boy was a naval aviator during the War of 1812.

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The Price Is Right

2003

Himself - Host: Look at the names here - Shpetim, Hay and Dizzy. Charles, if it wasn't for you, this could be an SBS documentary.

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The Price of Fear

1956

Jessica Warren: I lied to you, betrayed your confidence, and now I've fallen in love with you... too late.

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The Price of Love

1995 (TV)

Brett: What kind of a dream is that? Pretending to love somebody so you can have nice things. Beau: Oh Honey. That's the basis of many sucessful marriages. Brett: Is that what you want?

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The Prime Gig

2000

Gene: How many deals did you get? Penny: Five Gene: Five? Today? You got in at ll: 30. Penny: It's not me, Gene, it's the gift. You can't fight that sort of thing - you can't fight the gift.

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The Prince and the Pauper

1937

(the boys are switching clothes - the prince holds up one of Tom's tattered garments) Prince Edward Tudor: Are there in any vermin in this? Tom Canty: So few you'll hardly notice them at all, your highness.

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The Prince Who Was a Thief

1951

Emir Mokar: Son of a noseless mother! Maggot-brained child of a jackass!

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The Private War of Major Benson

1955

Mother Redempta: Heaven moves in mysterious ways Major... Heaven and General Ramsey

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The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio

2005

(from trailer) Leo "Kelly" Ryan: (after Evelyn has thrown Jello on him) You killed me... Evelyn Ryan: Death by Jello is highly unlikely.

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The Professional: Golgo 13

1983

Cindy: (Cindy is about to have sex with Golgo 13) This is my first time... with an Asian.

Golgo 13: I'll take the job.

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The Projected Man

1967

Chris Mitchell: Pretty you may be.

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The Promise

1979

Ben: Mike? Happy Birthday, hooligan! Michael: Yeah, that's right, my day all day. Ben: Hey, you know who else's birthday it is? I read it in the San Francisco Chronicle. Julius Ceasar! Michael: Julius Caesar! How the hell do they know? Ben: Because they are fiendishly clever, man!

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The Proposition

2005

Charlie Burns: No more.

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The Proverb

2004

Nun ... and every stupid guy wants to be seen with a long-legged, skinny girl with big gazumbas. Tweny years younger, too, am I right?: B. Santa Maria: Well. They do have shorter stories.

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The Public Eye

1992

Kay Levitz: It doesn't matter what people say unless you believe them.

Leon (Bernzy) Bernstein: Nobody does what I do. Nobody.

Leon (Bernzy) Bernstein: Everybody loves to have their picture took. Everybody.

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The Pulse

2002/I

Shepard Smith: This isn't your father's news magazine

Shepard Smith: We'll have Stone shaking in his bones

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The Punk Rock Movie

1978

Debbie Juvenile: Oh, some decent fucking music at last!

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The Puppet Masters

1994

Niven: It's the kid from the spaceship. Get him off the car.

(After Sam rescues Andrew by shooting him) Andrew: (musingly) I can't believe you shot me. Sam: Well, what would you have done? Andrew: (nonchalant) Oh, I'd have shot you, of course.

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The Purple Monster Strikes

1945

Dr Cyrus Layton: This is really the greatest day of my life. Purple Monster: Unfortunately for you, Doctor, it is also the last day of your life.

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The Raccoons

1985

Narrator: The Evergreen Forest. Quiet, peaceful, serene. That is, until Bert Raccoon wakes up!

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The Rack

1956

Captain Edward W. Hall Jr.: Do you know what's the matter with me? Aggie Hall: No. Captain Edward W. Hall Jr.: My mother wasn't in the army so I'm a half-breed.

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The Rag Man

1925

Golfer: FORE! Tim Kelly: I wouldn't give but three-ninety-eight!

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The Raging Tide

1951

Connie Thatcher: Little men are smarter. There's not so much space between their ears.

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The Rainmaker

1956

Noah Curry: We don't believe in rainmakers. Bill Starbuck: What DO you believe in mistah? Dyin' cattle?

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The Raspberry Reich

2004

Gudrun: The Revolution is my boyfriend.

Gudrun: Heterosexuality is the opiate of the masses.

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The Rat Pack

1998 (TV)

Peter Lawford: I'm an actor, Frank! All I want to do is act in movies, and cheat on my wife. Is that too much to ask?

Frank Sinatra: If power doesn't mean that you have the opportunity to work with the people that you love , then you haven't really got any.

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The Rat Patrol

1966

Sgt. Sam Troy: Let's shake it!

Pvt. Mark Hitchcock: Who was there, Sarge? You or me?

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The Ratings Game

1984 (TV)

Francine Kester: What a place you've got here. Vic De Salvo: Yeah. Francine Kester: You're not an Arab, so you must be a drug dealer.

Vic De Salvo: I didn't make a move on you for four days. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.

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The Raven

1935

Dr Richard Vollin: Your monstrous ugliness breeds monstrous hatred. Good! I can use your hate.

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The Razor's Edge

1946

Elliott Templeton: The enjoyment of art is the only remaining ecstasy that's neither immoral nor illegal.

Elliott Templeton: If I live to be a hundred I shall never understand how any young man can come to Paris without evening clothes.

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The Reagans

2003 (TV)

President Ronald Reagan: If you don't mind, this administration has to pee.

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The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest

1996

Jonathan 'Jonny' Quest: The SWAT team's orders were "shoot to kill". Race saved your life, Surd! Jeremiah Surd: So I could spend the rest of it in a metal shell? Thank you so much, Mr Bannon!

top

The Real Macaw

1998

Mac: Stop repeating everything I say. I'm the parrot!

top

The Real World Casting Special

1997 (TV)

Ellen: (to Coral, during an argument) Kiss my baby ass; kiss my motherfuckin' baby ass!

top

The Real World/Road Rules Battle of the Sexes

2003

Herter, Blair: I'm like herpes, dude. You might lose track of me, but I'm always there.

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The Realm

2001

Alex: That's AWESOME, Byron!

Mr Stevens: Death is such a... powerful thing.

Byron: (startled) Jesus! Mr Stevens: Very funny.

Mr Mattiews: Can you tell me what they're for... ?

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The Rebel Set

1959

(King Invader is reading one of his poems) King Invader: The brain is missing. Bored Drunk: It's been missing all night!

King Invader: I am bugged! (leaves the club's stage in a fit of picque)

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The Rebel Without Claws

1961

Tweety: I tawt I taw a damn Yankee tat.

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The Rebel

1961

Hancock: It's a self portrait. Landlady: Who of?

Jim Smith: English names are so mysterious, don't you think? Hancock: Oh, yes. I knew an 'Arry Trubshawe and a Bert 'Iggins once. Dead mysterious they were.

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The Reckless Moment

1949

Martin: Hell is other people...

top

The Red Brick Road

2003

Quinn Bryant: Is there anything else you want to teach me, Mr Miyagi? Cuz if not, I'm gonna go back to the bug. You wax on... I'm gonna go wax off.

Parker Rhodes: Now... you're legit.

Quinn Bryant: Innocence is bliss. And it's a damn shame you gotta grow up.

top

The Redhead From Wyoming

1953

Reece Duncan: I'm just warning you. No animal on my property, branded or not, is a stray. Whatever you pick up on the open range is yours. Anything you take from me has lead coming after it.

top

The Refrigerator

1991

Steve Bateman: Come here, my sly little fish.

Steve Bateman: I am the waffle maker!

The Mysterious Tanya: You must be strong - do not breed in weakness.

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The Reincarnation of Peter Proud

1975

Marcia Curtis: Who are you? You're not Peter Proud, you're some kind of monster! You're trying to get at me through Ann, well just leave her alone you bastard! Just leave us alone. Just leave ME alone. How? How could you know what we said that night? Marcia Curtis: You filthy, rotten, stinking bastard!

top

The Remarkable Andrew

1942

Gen Andrew Jackson: You've been trying to keep an honest accounting of city money. You've been dealing with politicians. You've been standing up for your own rights. Haven't you? Naturally, you landed in jail.

top

The Rescue

1988/I

Adrian Phillips: We had to use Mom's car. Lt Phillips: They drove!

top

The Resurrection Game

2001

Simon MacForman: Aim for the brain!

top

The Return of Captain Nemo

1978 (TV)

Captain Nemo: (the villains have over-ridden Nautilus's guidance system) Someone has taken control of my nuclear submarine!

top

The Return of Frank James

1940

Frank James: There ain't no right for us poor people than the end of a gun.

top

The Return of the Forest Monster

2003

Kid Gorgeous: There's a sasquatch. It ate Dave. Run.

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The Return of the King

1980 (TV)

Merry: Nay, Pippin. Not till Bilbo has cut the cake.

Orcs: Where there's a whip there's a way, left right, left right. Where there's a whip there's a way, left right.

top

The Return of the Man from U.N.C.L.E.

1983 (TV)

Nigel Pennington-Smythe: You must be an old hand at this. Napoleon Solo: Actually, I'm new at this... again.

top

The Revenge of Frankenstein

1958

Legless Patient: (shouts) How can I do me dance without me legs? Slensky: Got to learn to sing!

top

The Revengers

1972

Hoop: He's in the hole! Yes, sir, the same hole we was in! I heard that, I almost wet myself laughing.

top

The Ring

1927/I

(first lines) Corby: A friend of yours? Girl: A *very* great friend.

(last lines) Corby's assistant: Look what I found at the ring-side, Guv'nor.

top

The Rising of the Moon

2002

Bobby Sands: If they aren't able to destroy the desire for freedom, they won't break you.

Bobby Sands: The day will come when all the people of Ireland will have the desire for freedom to show. It is then we'll see the rising of the moon.

top

The River

1984

(first lines) Mae Garvey: Watch out, Tom! Beth, get in the truck! Tom! Are you hurt?

(last lines) Lewis Garvey: Dad! Beth says we're gonna get a million dollars for all this corn!

top

The Riveter

1940

Pete: (calls up to Donald) Hey you! Get to work! Donald Duck: Ah, shut up. Pete: (immediately pops up behind him) What was that? Donald Duck: Um, heh heh, hi, boss.

top

The Road From Erebus

2000 (TV)

Barry Atman: I admire your writing.

Elan Alms: I don't believe in admiring things to much. Experience it, incorporate it and move on.

Heidi: "Where's my father?" Clootie: "He's dead." Heidi: "You killed my father?" Clootie: "It doesn't matter, baby. I'd have taken care of you no matter how he died."

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The Road to Denver

1955

(Prologue) Bill Mayhew: In the old days of the west, the big cattle spreads had spring and fall round-ups. Then the steers to be sold became a trail herd pointed to the nearest railhead often hundreds of miles away. The trail was sometimes tough with rain, wind and snow.

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The Road to God Knows Where

1990

Nick Cave: (reading review in magazine) Nick Cave used to have two problems, heroin addiction and a BAD voice. He's kicked the former, now he's working on the latter.' That's funny. Yeah, that's pretty funny.

top

The Robber Kitten

1935

Butch (pointing his toy guns at Dirty Bill) : Your money or your life! Bill: You wouldn't shoot a pal, would you? Butch: Gosh! Are you Dirty Bill?

top

The Robe

1953

Judas: Why must men doubt? Tell them they must keep faith! They must keep faith!

Caligula: They're going to a better place! They're going to a better place!

Marcellus Gallio: Were you... out there?

top

The Rolling Stones Rock and Roll Circus

1996

Mick Jagger: You've heard of Oxford Circus, you've heard of Piccadilly Circus, and this is the Rolling Stones Rock and Roll Circus, and we've got sights and sounds and marvels to delight your eyes and ears, and you'll be able to see the very first one of those in a few moments.

top

The Roman Spring of Mrs Stone

1961

Paolo di Leo: Rome is a very old city. Three-thousand years. How old are you? Fifty?

top

The Romantic Englishwoman

1975

Thomas: Yes... and what would it be without them?

top

The Rose

1979

Rose: Where is everybody going?

top

The Rounders

1965

Howdy Lewis: Whatever suits you just tickles me plumb to death.

(Referring to a bull) Howdy Lewis: That one is wilder than mountain scenery.

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