Film Dialogue 14
Doctor Allan Barnes: I must. I must experience the greatest act of a human mind: to take another life.
The Mating Habits of the Earthbound Human
Narrator: The males, too, have a discussion: The Male's Friend: Fucked her? The Male: Fucked her. The Male's Friend: Cool.
Narrator: The female pulls a bone out of her head...
The Maury Povich Show
Host: You are *not* the father.
The Mayor of Hell
Lawyer: Tell us what you know, I said! Never mind what you think! Mr Hemingway: Excuse me, boss. I ain't no lawyer. I can't talk without thinkin'.
The McKenzie Break
(last lines) Captain Jack Connor: Willi, looks like we're both in the shithouse.
The Mean Season
Alan: Have you ever noticed the older you get the smaller you become?
Christine: I've gotten so far away that leaving is just a formality, Malcolm.
The Medusa Touch
John Morlar: I will bring the whole edifice down on their unworthy heads
The Banker: Success comes from the pain and suffering from others.
Ellen's father: If he loves you as much you love him, he'll make you go. Ellen: You've been so clever, so logical, I've never knew that you handled words so well. Ellen's father: That's not an answer, Elly. Ellen: You weren't quite so logical a few years ago when we needed some boys to ground and get killed or paralyzed.
Curry: The gun's Chinese Ruffo, paid for by Russian rubles. The steel probably came from a West German factory built by French francs. Then it was flown out here on a South African airline probably subsidized by The United States. I don't think he got very far.
The Merry Mishaps of Mr Bean
Mr Bean: Merry Christmas, Mr Bean.
Abu Sofyan: Mohammed, there is still doubt in my heart. Khalid: If we were to cut off your head, it would remove all your doubts.
Bilal: There is no compulsion in religion. A man may take many years, or only need minutes. It is God who decides the time.
The Metro Chase
Daniel: Unless she has the IQ of a cantaloupe, she's gonna know that it's not a restaurant.
The Mexican Dream
Ajileo Barajas: Oh I'm sorry... I get lost in the character.
Captain Giles Slate: We're going to save the human race. Lieutenant D.A. Blackfoot: But the human race has left us here to die! Captain Giles Slate: Yes. And we won't let them down.
The Midnight Hour
Alex: I'm gonna rock your world!
The Midnight Patrol
Car Dispatcher: Calling Car Thirteen Oliver: That's Us Car Dispatcher: Calling Car One-Three Stanley: I Thought he said Thirteen.
The Milagro Beanfield War
Joe Mondragon: You beat Luis Armigo by two votes. Sheriff Bernabe Montoya: That's because Domingo and Gunther were out of town. Joe Mondragon: So, you would have won by four. Sheriff Bernabe Montoya: Hell no man, those guys vote six, seven times apiece.
Kyril Montana: This posse couldn't find itself!
Flip and Boy: (singing) Hail, hail, the gang's all here! Horse: (singing) What the hell do we care? Flip and Boy: You mustn't say the naughty word!
The Mind Benders
Annabella: And I have every limb and organ that a girl should have, except one. I no longer have a shoulder to weep on. A Polish gentleman wore it away with his tears.
The Mind Reader
F.R. Franklin aka Frank: (to Chandra Chandler as he's being led away to prison to serve a 2-10 year sentence) It sure is tough to be going away just when beer is coming back.
The Miniver Story
Kay Miniver: Death can be easy. It's living that's difficult.
The Missouri Breaks
Lee Clayton: I'd like almost anythin' better 'n' bein' burnt up.
Johnny Damico: Who are the girls? Thomas Clancy: Would you know any more if I gave you the names? They're women.
Lt Banks: Be careful. Johnny Damico: Yeah, sure. I'll carry real bullets in my gun.
The Modern Adventures of Tom Sawyer
Tom Sawyer: Life is full of men who never get their monkeys.
The Mole People
Dr Roger Bentley: Archaeologists are underpaid publicity agents for deceased royalty.
Dr Roger Bentley: Do you think anybody's ever tried to smoke dried mushrooms?
The Monster of Piedras Blancas
Fred: There's been another murder. Sturges, the Lighthouse Keeper: Who? Fred: Kochek. We found his body this afternoon. Sturges, the Lighthouse Keeper: He talked too much.
Stratos: They cannot have lied. The stars cannot lie... Madame Habib: Everybody lies when it serves their purpose, even the stars
The Moon's Our Home
(Cherry apologizes for almost injuring Mrs Medford) Cherry Chester: If I ever did, I'd blow my brains out! Mrs Boyce Medford: I know. And then I'd have to tidy up afterward.
The More the Merrier
Benjamin Dingle: There are two kinds of people - those who don't do what they want to do, so they write down in a diary about what they haven't done, and those who are too busy to write about it 'cause they're out doing it!
The Morning After
Turner Kendall: You'll notice that your spades spend disproportionately on transportation and clothing their young. Alex Sternbergen: What are you, some kind of Klan anthropologist?
May: Oh, Darren. This cigarette's making my chest all congested. I can't breathe. Darren: What would happen if you did breathe? May: I'd say, would you... would it be too much trouble... spare rooms... would you come to the spare rooms with me... would you...
The Mouse and the Monster
(repeated line) Chesbro: Yipes! And I quit the cheese factory for this?
(during a meatball eating contest) Chesbro: Mo, stop eating! The meatballs are gonna come out of your ears! Mo: I can't hear what you're saying, there's meatballs coming out of my ears!
The Mouse Comes to Dinner
Tom: Hey, what's cookin'? Tom's Sweety: You are, stupid!
The Mouse on 57th Street
(repeated line) Sergeant Muldoon: Oh, da boy, da diamond!
The Mr Zed Show
Mr Zed: Don't change the baby. That's right, I said don't change the baby! Change the diaper. Keep the baby!
The Mrs Merton Show
Mrs Merton: (interviewing Germaine Greer) You were a right old slapper in the seventies, weren't you?
Mrs Merton: (interviewing Debbie McGee - Mrs Paul Daniels) What was it that first attracted you to millionaire Paul Daniels?
Disraeli: Such proposals as slum clearance, public housing, educational facilities for the poor, are all wise and worthy measures and consequently will be opposed vigorously. The British are a proud and independent people, ma'am, and will not yield to improvement without a stout struggle.
Poacher: I've seen the likes tonight that mortal eyes shouldn't look at. Irish Customer: You've been around to Molly Grady's again.
The Mummy's Hand
Andoheb: You are very beautiful... so beautiful I'm going to make you immortal. Like Kharis, you will live forever. What I can do for you I can do for myself. Neither time nor death can touch us. You and I together for eternity here in the Temple of Karnak. You shall be my high priestess.
The Munsters Today
Marilyn: 1988? It can't be! Grandpa: Yes it can, and it is! But it's no problem, I can have it fixed in a jiffy. Lily: Jiffy? You can not fix what happened, we have just taken a twenty-two year nap!
The Muppet Show: Sex and Violence
Sgt. Floyd Pepper: Can you believe this cat? Sam The Eagle: I am not a cat, I am a bird. Sgt. Floyd Pepper: You may be a bird, but you ain't the bird.
The Muppets at Walt Disney World
Kermit: We're both members of FASA - Fictional Animal Stars of America.
Security Guard: Rats! Rizzo the Rat: You called? Security Guard: Ah! Don't do that!
The Music Man
Professor Harold Hill: That hat... it's scrumptious!
The Naked Dawn
Santiago: Aww! You know how to die. You watch plenty others.
The Naked Edge
Martha Radcliffe: Did you have any news from him ?
Lilly Harris: Oh yes. By cheque !
The Naked Kiss
Kelly: I saw a broken down piece of machinery. Nothing but the buck, the bed and the bottle for the rest of my life. That's what I saw.
The Naked Man
Delores: Feel the marshmallow.
The Naked Truth
Sonny MacGregor: "Is your husband there? I'll just... " Lady Lucy Mayley: "Not all there I'm thinking."
(first lines) Minister: In reply to the honourable member's question, I can only say... Uhh... (collapses)
The Naughty Nineties
Rollo Treadway: I think I'll get married... today.
The Nazis: A Warning From History
Narrator: At the same moment as the pact was being signed in Moscow, Hitler stood with his guests on the terrace of the Berghof and stared at the sky.
Narrator: A Hungarian woman in Hitler's entourage looked at the sky and then turned to speak to her Fuhrer.
The Near Room
Tommy Stirling: What do you call a cross between a labrador and a poodle? Charlie Colquhoun: I don't know. Tommy Stirling: A labradoodle.
The Neon Bible
David: If you were different from anybody else in town, you had to get out. They used to say in school, "you have to think for yourself," but you couldn't do that in town. You have to think what your father thought and that was what everybody thought.
The NeverEnding Story III
Urgl: Your body's gone. Engywook, Male Gnome: Well, your body went years ago.
The New Adventures of Beans Baxter
(Beans participates in an exorcism to deal with a spirit way too fond of lounge music.) Beans Baxter: The power of Elvis compels you! The power of Elvis compels you!
The New Age
Peter Witner: Did you know that in Chinese the word for "crisis" is the same as the word for "opportunity"?
Jeff Witner: How are your morals tonight?
The New Avengers
(surrounded by cats) Mike Gambit: Pussy... John Steed: ... Galore!
The New Kids
Gideon: There's this movie playing out at the drive in. I've seen it about five times. It's called "Saturday Night Girls."
Mark: Thats Eddie Dutra, He's about as much fun as a rabid dog.
The New Moon
Phillippe Dupres: (singing) Love came to me / Gay and tender / Love came to me / Sweet surrender / Love came to me / In bright romantic splendor. / Fickle was she/ Faithful never / Fickle was she / And clever / So will it be / Forever - forever / Softly, as in a morning sunrise / The light of love comes stealing / Into a newborn day.
The New Newlywed Game
Bob Eubanks: Next question, ladies, 25-point boner... BONUS question!
Bob Eubanks: Ladies, what vowel does your husband most resemble when he sleeps? Contestant: An R.
The New Scooby-Doo Movies
Shaggy: Man, I don't know what's worse... Those Muck Men, or Cass Elliot's driving... Scooby: Cass Elliot's driving!
The New Steve Allen Show
(repeated line) Host: Schmuck!
The New Treasure Hunt
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, this bonded security agent has just placed a certified check for $25,000 in one of these thirty surprise packages. Tonight, someone may win any one of our fabulous prizes... or that grand prize of $25,000 on... "THE NEW TREASURE HUNT"!
The Nick & Jessica Variety Hour
Self: What's the matter, Christina? I thought "Words won't bring you down!"
The Night Flier
Richard Dees: Never believe what you publish, and never publish what you believe
Ezra Hannon: What paper you say you're from? Richard Dees: Inside View, you know it? Ezra Hannon: Oh yeah, my wife Martha reads your paper. After she's done, I use it for the kitty's toilet box. Sucks that cat piss really good. (laugh)
The Night Life
Detective: Love: it's what you get when you play tennis with a broken racquet.
The Night Nurse
(last lines) The Diva: Prudence!
The Night of the Following Day
(He's been concealing a gun) Leer: You know, some day, somebody is gonna invent a comfortable gun.
The Night the World Exploded
Dr David Conway: We better do more than hope, gentlemen. We better pray!
The Night We Dropped a Clanger
Narrator: If there is any similarity between this picture and certain events which occurred in the last war we shouldn't be at all surprised.
The Nightmare Before Christmas: Oogie's Revenge
Oogie Boogie: Barrel, my star pupil, my prodigal son, my shining star!
Mayor: And now, to present the award for most spines tingled by a non-corpeal being...
The Norman Conquests: Table Manners
Annie: Oh, nun's knickers!
The Nostril Picker
Joe Bukowski: Shit. I should of known this was jive ass bullshit.
The Nude Bomb
Sauvage: Calm down, dear Nino. I don't understand this outburst. You've become highly irrational since that explosion in your laboratory. You lost your eye, your arm, your leg, your larynx. What's wrong with you?
The Occult Experience
Narrator: If the devil lives anywhere, it could be in San Francisco.
Narrator: There is a gap between what we know and what we feel. Many feel the occult can bridge that gap. It can take us beyond ourselves, to the infinite.
The Odd Job
(The Caretaker spots Arthur's first suicide attempt) Caretaker: What are you doing? Arthur Harris: I'm minding my own sodding business, which is more than can be said for you, you snivelling little turd!
The Odessa File
(Miller is trying to sell his editor on a story based on the diary) Editor: No one wants to read about Jews. Miller: They were GERMANS! Editor: They were German Jews.
Poseidon: My goal is not to kill you. You must understand. Odysseus: What? What? (shouts) What do you want me to understand? Poseidon: That without the gods, man is nothing.
Alpha: I could've had whatever I wanted! Forever! Jay: Dead is forever...
Jay: It's blood. Flash: Ew... who drinks blood? Jay, Flash: VAMPIRES!!!
Jay: Thanks, Keith. Flash: What did you call me? Alpha: Who's Keith? Jay: I don't know...
The Old Man of the Mountain
Betty Boop: What are you gonna do? Himself & Old Man: I'm gonna do the best I can.
The Omega Code
Stone Alexander: I have become King and God.
Cassandra: Even Satan comes as an angel of light.
The Opposite Sex and How to Live with Them
Eli: Two beers. Ball park attendant: Lite beer? Eli: Do I look like a pussy?
The Oprah Winfrey Show
Oprah: Your future's so bright it burns my eyes.
Oprah: Never take a "no" from somebody who isn't in a position to give you a "yes" in the first place.
Oprah: Do you think you can stop this with a football tackle?
Bishop Boris Kharalampiev: Everyone is entitled to his own faith. No one should violate the intimate, spiritual life of another. That's how I think now, that's how I have thought in the past, and if I live any longer, that's how I'll think then.
The Other Half of Me
Mikey: Half-brained pizza girl? What the hell is that supposed to mean?
The Other Me
Chukie: How did you get changed so fast? Will: Its my clone. Chukie: Man, you're making this up.
Will Browning: "Holy 'A' in Science Class - I made myself clone!" Twoie: "Does it hurt... being old?"
The Outlaws Is Coming
Johnny Ringo: (after shooting a telegraph delivery man) That'll teach ya to interrupt me when I'm swoonin' the gals!
Joanne: Great! What do we do now? Rob: Let's call Oprah. Hell, I don't know.
Joanne: Rob, I can fix it! Rob: Yeah, well, I can fix it better.
Stockton: Loose ends come back to haunt you.
The Over-the-Hill Gang Rides Again
(speaking over The Baltimore Kid's grave) Nash Crawford: And in a way, you know, it was kind of fitting that of all of us, the Kid was the first to go. He, well, he always did like to lead the way.
Oswald: Oh, the ass... rocks...
The Pace That Kills
Fanny: Tonight I'm gonna take you on a sleigh ride with some snow birds. Eddie: Sleigh ride? Snow birds? In summer? Fanny: Gee, you ARE dumb!
Fanny: Hello everyone! This is Eddie, my new boyfriend. (a woman cosies up to Eddie, Fanny shoves her away) I said MY boyfriend!
The Pajama Game
Mae: We ain't giving up nothing! Katie 'Babe' Williams, Grievance Committee: Wait a minute, don't you see? We've won!
The Pajama Party of Terror and Other Tales
Dorothy: I see bound and gagged women!
Little Chief Paleface: If my tribe don't get what's coming to them, you will!
Julie: I love this song. Tom: Is that a signal?
The Paneless Window Washer
Bluto: Window cleaner! Olive Oyl: Oh not today, thank you. Bluto: What do you mean? Why not today thank you? Popeye: 'Cause I'm gonna wash'em. That's why not today thank you.
The Panic in Needle Park
Hank: What are you gonna do? Helen: Well, I'm not gonna do it with you.
The Paper Chase
Professor Charles W. Kingsfield, Jr: (stops on staircase) Oh, and Golden... Gerald Golden: Yes, Professor? Professor Charles W. Kingsfield, Jr: Your left front tyre needs air.
Guy Delmorte: It's tragic... but, hey... so's life.
Guy Delmorte: (voice on phone) Tell me... if I gave you a gun and two seconds with her murderer... what would you do?