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Film Dialogue 12

 

The Hilarious House of Frightenstein

1971

The Narrator: The castle lights are growing dim, there's no-one left but me, and him. When next we meet in Frankenstone, don't come alone

The Hills of Utah

1951

(when the ranchers attacks the miners, mailman Dusty Cosgrove is caught in the crossfire) Dusty Cosgrove: Here's one special delivery! (Dusty shoots a charging ranch hand)

Dr Gene Autry: Hand me the chloroform. (Gene hangs a stone tomahawk on his surgery's wall)

The Hire: The Follow

2001

The Driver: There's always something waiting at the end of the road. If you're not willing to see what it is, you probably shouldn't be out there in the first place.

The Hitch-Hiker

1953

Emmett Myers: My folks were tough. When I was born, they took one look at this puss of mine and told me to get lost.

The Hitler Gang

1944

Rvhm: Gerlich has shot himself. Streicher: He's the first man who shot himself in the head six times.

The Hitter

1979

Nathan: You heard of Clark Gable in Gone With the Wind? Well you lookin' at Dark Gable and Coolin' It Wit Da Breeze.

Nathan: Well, you might not be Bruce Lee, but then again he did it all with mirrors anyway.

The Hole Idea

1955

Calvin Q. Calculus: I invented the portable hole for the good of humanity. But let us all hope it will never be used for evil purposes.

The Honeymooners

2005

(from trailer) Ralph Kramden: One of these days, you're gonna push me too far. Alice Kramden: The only thing that could push you is a bulldozer!

The Honorary Consul

1983

Colonel Perez: Is this why you've been lying to me? Dr Eduardo Plarr: An affair always involves a few lies.

The Hook

1963

(last lines) Pvt. O.A. Dennison: Nice day. Sgt. P.J. Briscoe: Kid, any day a war ends is a nice day.

The Horn Blows at Midnight

1945

Athanael: What are they supposed to be doing? Maitre d': I wouldn't know, sir; they call it dancing. Athanael: I must tell St. Vitus about this.

The Horse in the Gray Flannel Suit

1968

Fred: You blew Helen's medal for good. One more like that it's the glue factory - for both of us.

The Horsemen

1971

District Chief: What demon has possessed you to mock these good people with that piece of dog-bait?

The Hot Scots

1948

Moe: All right, take it easy son, I'd just like to ask you a question, what would you rather have? A shoe full of dollar bills, or two socks of five?

Shemp: I'll take the two socks!

Moe: You got em!

The Hot Spot

1990/I

Dolly Harshaw: There's only two things to do in this town. You got a TV? Harry Madox: Nope. Dolly Harshaw: Well then, you're down to one thing. Lotsa luck!

The Hour of the Pig

1993

Albertius: In a world where nothing is truly reasonable, nothing is truly mad.

(Richard is nude and embarrassed.) Maria: Don't worry, I have brothers.

The House of the Dead 2

1999 (VG)

(repeated line) James: How could anyone do this?

James: (after defeating Magician) Only man himself can control his fate. You're nothing!

The House on Sorority Row

1983

Pig: I'm a sea pig...

The House That Screamed 2: Hellgate

2001 (V)

Professor Pollenfax: The spirits are preventing us from getting in!

The Human Factor

1979

Maurice Castle: Davis calls all children "little bastards".

The Human Press

2003

Librarian: News... ain't worth shit the day after it's born.

The Human Shield

1992

Tanzi: Insults here can only be washed away with blood.

Doug Matthews: You'll die in hell!

Lila Haddilh: To my husband, revenge is sacred, and hatred noble.

The Hunter

1980

Ralph 'Papa' Thorson: I'm getting too old for this shit.

Ralph 'Papa' Thorson: I don't know what you've been using, Mason, but it's not good for you!

The Hurricane

1999

Rubin 'Hurricane' Carter: Hate put me in prison. Love's gonna bust me out.

Reporter: Mr Carter, now that you're free, are you still going to be "The Hurricane" Rubin 'Hurricane' Carter: Oh, I'll always be the "Hurricane", and a hurricane is beautiful.

Lesra: 25 cent? Must not be much of a book.

The I Do y Don't

2005 (TV)

Andrew B.: Andrew B.? You're going to call me Andrew B.?

The I Jury

1982

Dr Charlotte Bennett: How could you? Mike Hammer: It was easy.

The Ice Harvest

2005

Charlie Arglist: As Wichita Falls... so falls Wichita Falls.

The Ice House

1997 (TV)

Detective Sergeant Andy McLoughlin: You're an awful bloody liar Cattrell, you told me compassion was a frail thing. In your hands it is an offensive weapon.

Detective Sergeant Andy McLoughlin: My wife came back today and I'm damned if I'm spending another seven years with a woman whose favorite color is beige.

The Ice Pirates

1984

Jason: (being ushered away from the sleeping princess by his companions) Whatever happened to "we rape, we pillage"?

Jason: (looking at the robot that Roscoe has built) Why'd you make him black? Roscoe: (smiling) Because I wanted him to be perfect.

The Idolmaker

1980

Vincent Vacarri: True sex comes from between your ears, not from between your legs.

Vincent Vacarri: Hey, I'm not dumb! You don't even know me and you call me dumb. Wanna know what's dumb? The last eight covers in a row you did on Elvis in the army, with the badges? That's dumb. And that's boring.

The Illustrated Man

1969

Felecia: Each person who tries to see beyond his own time must face questions to which there cannot be absolute answers.

The Immoral Mr Teas

1959

Narrator: The guitar as we know it today, came about as a result of many types of earlier stringed instruments. There was first the harp, the lute, then the zither, and mandolin. The guitar is a very sensitive instrument, with "G" being the third string, and is played over a system of frets. Sensitive men have been fretting over G-strings for years!

The Impatient Patient

1942

Daffy: Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Chloe, happy birthday to you STOP, Signed Frank N. Stein.

The Incredible Hulk: Death in the Family

1977 (TV)

Denny Kayle: Ok, punk, I don't want to get angry! Dr David Bruce Banner: Believe me, neither do I.

The Incredible Hulk

1982

Jennifer Walters/She-Hulk: Jennifer Walters could never catch them, but Jennifer Walters doesn't have to!

The Incredible Melting Man

1977

Steve West: You've never seen anything til you've seen the Sun through the rings of Saturn!

Dr Ted Nelson: I'm Dr Ted Nelson!!!

Helen: Let's get the hell out of here!

The Indian Runner

1991

Joe: I tried to tell myself I did my job. That it was in self-defense. I didn't believe me.

Frank: Somebody was boring me, I think it was me.

The Informer

1935

Terry: Oh dear, oh dear. I have a queer feelin' there's going to be a strange face in heaven in the mornin'.

The Inner Circle

1991

Katya: (On her parents) They're traitors! They tried to kill Stalin! They should be shot!

Stalin: I know everything about everything.

The Inner Circle

2003

Barbara: I need a husband, not a nurse. Barbara: Talk about running? You're so far down that road, I can't even see you.

The Inspector General

1949

Kovatch: Oh, I love my family, but I'd give my six kids to get rid of my wife.

Georgi: (singing) Drink to me only wi-ith thine eye-eyes / And I will drink with my nose!

The Intelligence Men

1965

Eric Morecambe: (on seeing that Phillipe, who is sitting next to him, has just collapsed into his soup after being poisoned) Waiter! Ernie Sage: Yes? Eric Morecambe: I have a complaint to make. Ernie Sage: What? Eric Morecambe: There's a dead man in this soup.

The Interview

1998

(repeated line) John Steele: I'm interrupting this interview for the purpose of making further inquiries.

The Intruder

1962

Adam Cramer: No matter how much you hate me, blame me, and want to shoot me - it wasn't all my fault!

The Invincible Kung Fu Guy

1994

Lady Lo: You're not as dumb as they say.

The Invisible Man

2000 (TV)

Darien: My conscience was calling, and it was time to pick up the phone.

The Iron Mask

1929

Porthos: Come on! There is greater adventure beyond.

The Iron Mistress

1952

Jim Bowie: Ma... I killed a man. Mrs Bowie: Did he need killin'? Jim Bowie: About as much as any man ever did.

The Jack Last Victim

2005 (V)

Trevor: Do you think it's that he hates women who live by... Jenni: prostitutes? Trevor: and you're playing Mary Jane... Jenni: Kelly. His last victim.

The Jackpot

1950

Lawyer: "They might detatch your salary." William: "Then I'll quit my job and live on soup." Lawyer: "They might detach this house." William: "Then I'll burn down the house!"

The Jamie Foxx Show

1996

Jamie King: It never rains in Southern California my ass!

The Jayhawkers!

1959

Luke Darcy: I've got what I want. I've got Kansas.

The Jericho Mile

1979 (TV)

Larry 'Rain' Murphy: I'm gonna nail you. Stiles was my brother.

Dr D: (Asked who did something) Lickety split!

Dr D: I'm lookin' at a dead man! I'm talkin' to a dead man!

Larry 'Rain' Murphy: (recalling his crime) They say I shot him over and over.

The Jerky Boys

1995

Johnny: Oh, God! My mother, she woke me up today. She poured a hot pan of grease all over my chest and my ass and genitals and I fell down the stairs and my shoes fell off. Burger Bob Customer: What does that have to do with ANYTHING? Johnny: Because I can't see damn it, you son of a bitch

The Jimmy Show

2001

Jimmy: Why do I talk about it, why don't I do it?

Jimmy: Ice cream runs in my veins.

The Job

1999

(first lines) (opening title card) Title Card: From 1979 to 1981 the Texas Gulf Coast was the scene of bitter conflicts between Vietnamese immigrants and local fishermen.

The John Henson Project

2004

(on superendowed 'Jonah Falcon' qv) John Henson: He has a fiveskin, not a foreskin.

The Journey of the Fifth Horse

1966 (TV)

Nikolai Alexeyvich Chulkaturin: And so, you see what it is to exist as an interruption.

The Journeyman

2001

Horace Marywell: You know there's some serious drinkin' and killin' that goes on in that good book of yours.

The Joy of Life

2005/II

Voiceover: My therapist is getting on my nerves. She's always saying, "That must have been really hard for you."

Voiceover: There are times in your life when you notice things. Like after someone dies. Or sometimes coming out of a movie.

The Joy of Painting

1983

Bob Ross: We don't make mistakes, we make happy little accidents.

The julekalender

1991

Oluf Sand: Yes, that's just nice.

The Karnival Kid

1929

Mickey Mouse: (his first words) Hot dogs! Hot dogs!

Mickey Mouse: (first words spoken by Mickey Mouse) Hot dogs, hot dogs.

The Keith Barret Show

2004

(repeated line) Keith Barret: It's a bit of fun.

Keith Barret: Anthony H. Wilson? Anthony Wilson? Tony Wilson? They can't hear me.

Keith Barret: Who's that? Mr T! An ironic t-shirt! If it was sincere we'd think you were simple.

The Ken Murray Show

1950

(repeated line) Laurie Anders: Ah love the wi-i-i-ide open spaces!

The Kid from Borneo

1933

Spanky: (thinking the wild man is going to eat him) You don't want to eat me... mom says I'm spoiled!

Bumbo, "The Wild Man From Borneo": Yum-Yum! Eat 'em up!

The Kid Stays In the Picture

2002

Robert Evans: There are three sides to every story. My side, your side, and the truth. And no one is lying. Memories shared serve each one differently

The Kill Reflex

1989

Soda Cracker: I know it was you that hit Phil, Moss. I'm on your ass 'til you crack! And when you do, I'll be there to blow you straight to hell! Ivan Moss: Are you threatening me? Soda Cracker: Better than that, pal. I'm promising you!

The Killer Eye

1999

Tom: You killed my friend you stupid bitch!

The Killers

1964

Charlie Strom: There's only one guy who's not afraid to die; that's a guy who's already dead.

Charlie Strom: Lady, I haven't got the time.

Jack Browning: I approve of larceny; homicide is against my principles.

The Killing Kind

1973

Thelma Lambert: He's got about as much chance as a snowball in hell.

The Killing of a Chinese Bookie

1976

Cosmo Vitelli: I'm a club owner. I deal in girls.

Cosmo Vitelli: My mother was very funny. Had a great sense of humor. Yeah, that's right. She was so funny, she ran off with this big, fat butcher.

The Killing of America

1982

(last lines) Narrator: While you watched this movie, five of us were murdered. One was the random killing of a stranger.

The King of Kings

1927

Mary Magdalene: Harness my zebras!

The King of Marvin Gardens

1972

Jason Staebler: You notice how it's Monopoly out there? Remember Boardwalk, Park Place, Marvin Gardens? David Staebler: Go directly to jail? Jason Staebler: Well, that's me. Don't pass go, don't collect $200.

The King's Guard

2000

(Talbert has just stabbed a very obese servant) Augustus Talbert: Bleed, fat man!

Sir Gerald: Like death, in the matter of the heart, no man knows how he'll react until the time comes.

Otto: You must keep these guns coming, we have many bad guys to stop.

The Kiss

1988

Father: I believe you should leave! Felice: You *believe*? If you *believed*, Father, I wouldn't be able to come in here!

The Knowledge

1979 (TV)

Gordon Weller: Ignorance is bliss. My wife is completely blissful about the whole thing.

The Ladies Man

1961

Herbert H. Heebert: Hey, lady!

The Lady in Red

1979

Satin (a prostitute) : The day I can't handle the likes of him, I best get me a needle and thread and sew it shut.

The Ladykillers

1955

Mrs Louisa Wilberforce: Simply try for one hour to behave like gentlemen.

The Lair of the White Worm

1988

Lord James D'Ampton: Do you have children? Lady Sylvia Marsh: Only when there are no men around.

Lady Sylvia Marsh: I change my cars as regularly as a snake sheds its skin.

Kevin: I'm not really into headbanging. Lady Sylvia Marsh: Are you into any kind of banging?

The Lake

1998 (TV)

Jackie: Maggie, I need your help. Everybody goes into the lake and comes out different. Maggie: You sure got that right honey.

The Lakes

1997 (TV)

Peter Quinlan: (to his wife, after gone upstairs to his bedroom after having farted whilst opening the curtains in the morning, with Emma and Danny sitting in the sofa) I farted. Twice. I thought there was nobody in there.

The Land Girls

1998

Stella: Where's Prue? (Ag points towards the barn) And where's Joe? (Ag points towards the barn again) I should have known.

The Land That Time Forgot

1975

(Over the speaker to the crew) Captain Von Schoenvorts: This U-Boat is now under the control of our enemy, Mr Tyler. You will obey his commands... for the time being.

The Landlady

1998

(After killing Jenny and her boyfriend) Melanie: I love taking out the garbage!

The Landlord

1970

Elgar Winthrop Julius Enders: You know what NAACP means, don't you? Joyce Enders: You tell me what it means. Elgar Winthrop Julius Enders: It means "Niggers Ain't Always Colored People"! William Enders Sr: What did he mean by that? Joyce Enders: He just called us niggers.

The Last Bandit

1949

Kate Foley: What are you doing? Jim Plummer: Why, I'm tying you up. Can't let my future wife get away from me again!

The Last Best Sunday

1999

Lolly Ann Summers: Lord, please watch over my parents as they travel on the road, so the ground might open them up and swallow them whole.

Lolly Ann Summers: (to parents' friend) Hell would be a better place without you!

The Last Big Thing

1996

Simon Geist: They've been making the same car since 1986. It's called The Car.

Simon Geist: Computers are evil.

The Last Challenge

1967

Marshal Dan Blaine: Of all the people I know who ain't worth saving, you're the first one to come to my mind.

Marshal Dan Blaine: He was a no good drifter. He'd steal the pennies off a dead man's eyes.

The Last Day

1975 (TV)

Grat Dawson: Those boys are real killers... backshooters most likely. Listen, they would stand as good a chance against Will Spence as a bunch of worm-eaten apples hanging in a high wind.

The Last Days of Chez Nous

1992

Vicki: Don't tell J.P. Beth: Why would I do that? Vicki: Don't married people tell each other everything?

The Last Days of Frank and Jesse James

1986 (TV)

Frank James: Nothing in his life became him like the leaving it.

The Last Days of Frankie the Fly

1997

(Referring to a porn actress.) Frankie: She's pretty good, huh? Joey: Yeah, she's a regular Meryl Streep. Her idea of improvisation is putting a dick in her mouth sideways.

The Last Days of Pompeii

1984 (mini)

Diomed: (to a slave) Remind me to sell you in the morning.

The Last Don II

1998 (mini)

Croccifixio "Cross" De Lena: Hit 'em where it counts. An eye for an eye.

Rosemary Clericuzio: My family doesn't have accidents!

The Last Fling

1987 (TV)

Jack: So Phil, where is your car anyways? Phillip Reed: In the zoo. Jack: Oh, of course. I should've guessed.

Phillip Reed: You have a choice, you can either run away with me and be happy, or get married for Aunt Doodie from Portland.

The Last Gentleman

1934

Cabot Barr: Well, here we are, a family reunion and what a collection.

Cabot Barr: Augusta you've got fat in the most outraged places. Augusta: Cabot, I am not! Cabot Barr: Yes, you are. You're convex when you ought to be concave and vice versa.