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The Rising: Ballad of Mangal Pandey

2005

(Pandey marches in front of a cannon. The soldiers loading it look at him in shock) Mangal Pandey: Fire!

Mangal Pandey: I am Hindustan.

Jwala: My name is Jwala...

Captain William Gordon: If you kill this man, Mangal Pandey, it will lead to the fall of this company!

Mangal Pandey: You have tasted a black man's loyalty - now taste his *fury*!

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The Ritz

1976

Gaetano Proclo: We used to have a guy like that back in the army. We called him "Get away from me Claude".

Googie Gomez: I know what's going on in here, with all of you men going "Hee hee hee, boo boo boo, hah hah hah.

Chris: Screw you, honey. Boy, if there's one thing I can't stand it's a queen without a sense of humor. You can die with your secret... miserable piss-elegant fairy.

Googie Gomez: (singing in a thick accent) "Ebey'tings comin' up rho-ziz, por me and por chu."

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The R.M.

2003

Jared: But... Brigham: Butts are for chairs pal.

Jared: Kirby? That's not even a name! (Later) Ring seller: Kirby? That's not even a name.

Brigham: Give 'em heaven, son.

Jared: (attempting to explain who he is) Home! Me! Home! Me! Humu: Hey, Homey!

Jared: Kirby? What kind of a name is that? It's like "Kirby from Rigby likes to play Frisbee."

Humu: (Humu is a *very* large Tongan exchange student) Dude! Your fiance is *hot*. Jared: You speak English? Humu: Better than Tongan, actually. Jared: But... but... Humu: Hey, look, man, no offense, but all your mom ever talks about is food storage and Relief Society centerpieces. To avoid an awkward conversation, I just had to eat. Heck, I was a "buck-eighty" when I first got here. Ha ha!

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The Roller Blade Seven

1991

Hawk: Pharoah, you are a devil! Pharoah: You are right. I am the devil!

Hawk: You have sent for me, Father Donaldo? Reverend Donaldo: Hawk, sister Sparrow has been adapted and taken into our worst nightmare. Hawk: You mean my sister that has become your sister? Reverend Donaldo: Yes, our sister sister. You must go now to rescue her!

Hawk: What is this place? Desert Maurader: This is the wheelzone! Hawk: The wheelzone! Mhm! What's going on around here? Desert Maurader: Nothing for you, my friend but I do know this is Pharoah's territory and you are trespassing! Hawk: Me? Trespassing? I don't think so!

Black Knight: Look! I will kill you! Hawk: We shall see about that, won't we?

Saint Offender: I shall have my revange now!

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The Romeo Division

2004

Bobby Mako: Start counting!

Lindo Cortez: Burnham, take it easy brother. Mr Mako is still very important to us.

Goon: Burnham! You're needed.

Jade: Death is only the beginning. Only the beginning.

John Romeo: Fix the problems between the two of you, or there will be consequences.

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The Rookie

1990

(Attempting to bribe Nick.) Eugene Ackerman: I want to guarantee David's safety. Nick Pulovski: Mr Ackerman, if you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

Nick Pulovski: There's gotta be a hundred reasons why I don't blow you away. Right now I can't think of one.

Lt Ray Garcia: It's not just a job it's a fucking adventure!

David Ackerman: Whoever painted a work of art that color ought to have his ass removed.

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The Room

2003

Mike: Chocolate is a symbol of love.

Johnny: You are tearing me apart, Lisa!

Johnny: Denny, two is great, but three is a crowd.

Mark: Who are you calling a kid?

Mark: You are the cause of all this!

Denny: Why Johnny? Why Johnny?

Claudette: If you think I'm tired now, wait until you see me tomorrow.

Johnny: Hi, doggy!

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The Runner

1999

Karina: You tore the whole world right out of me, Edward.

Edward: Please tell Karina I found the perfect way to stop gambling: Have a son.

Edward: Fuck.. fuck, fuck, fuck! Karina: Fuck, fuckit fuck fuck!

Edward: From the moment I saw you, I knew that God doesn't hate me. He digs me.

Karina: Here I was, with a ring on my finger and a baby in my belly... and you lied to me. You might as well just dig a hole and crawl in it.

Edward: And like an asshole, I spent the money on you. Because I thought it would make you happy. And you can't put a price on that.

Karina: Do you hear the crowd?

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The Safety of Objects

2001

Randy: When you start collecting things, you start thinking you care about stuff. And when they're gone; when they break or someone steals them, you feel like a part of you is gone, too. When you have things and suddenly you don't, it feels like you disappeared. Nothing should make you feel that way... Except when you lose a person

Esther Gold: If you are ever in a praying situation with Him: Be Specific! Include certain clauses. It's not enough to assume that if a person lives they'll be okay... Cause God has a wicked sense of humor. And even though he knows you mean more, he'll only give you exactly what you ask for.

Julie Gold: (about the car accident) I just want it out of my head!

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The Scam Artist

2004

Tweedle-Dee: Turn around, console jockey.

Lenny: Only a pro should even dream about doing what you want to do. David: That's why I'm talking to you.

Sylvia: Are those Zeiss? Lenny: The one and only. Perfect 20/20 vision, low-light and thermoptic modes, integrated targeting system, GPS and satellite uplink. Sylvia: Wow. You can kill people and check your email all at the same time. That's really something.

David: You know what the problem with daughters is, Winston? Sooner or later, they always end up getting fucked.

Winston Heinrich: You're sitting in corporate territory now, Mr Sands. And in this little piece of the world, the law begins and ends with me. Do not try my patience.

Sylvia: This isn't aspirin. It's Chronotin. Father Time. The anti-aging drug? I looked last night. Lenny: So what do you want? Your junior detective badge?

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The Scapegoat

1959

(first lines) Customs Official: You have the intention of staying long in France, Mr Barratt? John Barratt: I don't know. That is to say that I didn't know there was any restriction apart from the question of money.

(last lines) Bela: What are you doing here? John Barratt: Fate has made a beautiful mistake and we are together when we might have been apart.

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The Scarlet Claw

1944

Sherlock Holmes: Consider the tragic irony: we've accepted a commission from a victim to find her murderer. For the first time we've been retained by a corpse.

Sherlock Holmes: Ramson has undoubtedly established another character for himself - perhaps several others - by now familiar to the people of La Morte Rouge and quite above suspicion. He could be almost anyone...

Sherlock Holmes: Relations of friendly intimacy with the United States on the one hand and their unswerving fidelity to the British commonwealth and the motherland on the other. Canada, the link which joins together these great branches of the human family. Dr John H. Watson: Did Churchill say that? Sherlock Holmes: Yes, Watson, Churchill.

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The Scarlet Letter

1995

Hester Prynne: I have dreamed of speaking my heart, I have prayed for it even as I have dreaded it. Was I alive before I laid eyes on thee?

Dr Roger Prynne: Has this new land turned thee into a heathen?

Hester Prynne: I wonder if existance as a woman is worthwhile at all.

(To the crowd gathered for Hester's hanging) Reverand Arthur Dimmesdale: In God's eyes, I am her husband.

(Narration) Pearl: Who is to say what is a sin in God's eyes.

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The Scout

1994

Steve Nebraska: Al, you're like a dad to me. Al Percolo: But I'm not your dad. I'm just a guy taking 15 percent. Steve Nebraska: I thought it was 10.

Tommy Lacy: God said people make mistakes. Al Percolo: God never said people make mistakes; where did you hear that shit? He said honor thy mother, and thy father, and thy Yankee contract!

Steve Nebraska: I got you something. It's a chocolate baseball bat. Al Percolo: (takes the bat and examines the end, which is broken) Did you drop it? Steve Nebraska: I got a little hungry.

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The Screen Savers

1998

Contributor: Chris, do I frighten you? Chris Pirillo: Is this "live"?

Co-Host: Photoshop: because some people have way too much time.

Co-Host: An example of harmful code might be, what, a program that keeps track of what hardware changes the make to your computer and sends it to some major corporation in Redmond, Washington?

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The Sea Wolves: The Last Charge of the Calcutta Light Horse

1980

Jack Cartwright: (as Grice drives full speed toward the club) If we're going for a drink, I want to be alive to enjoy it!

Secretary: (finding Melborne doing pushups in his office) Mr Melborne, what are you doing down there? Melborne: Having a private heart attack!

Col Lewis Pugh: I want you all smelling like a distillery.

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The Second Hundred Years

1967

Colonel Garroway: Your father's alive, Mr Carpenter. Edwin Carpenter: Alive! That's impossible! He was frozen sisty-seven years ago! Colonel Garroway: He melted.

Colonel Garroway: (shows newspaper article to Edwin and Ken) Ken Carpenter: Grandpa! Edwin Carpenter: Dad! Colonel Garroway: Oh, no...

Luke: Not bad for a hundred and one. Don't look a day over ninety!

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The Second Woman

1951

Jeff Cohalan: Let's see what the tea leaves say about you... there's a trick my grandmother taught me; she learned it from an old witch in Ireland. Ellen Foster: And so you've been drinking coffee ever since.

Jeff Cohalan: Ellen, you'd better go now. You're not safe with me. Do you understand? Ellen Foster: Suppose I don't want to be safe?

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The Secret Adventures of Jules Verne

2000

Phileas Fogg: It's quite tedious to have one's words of wisdom quoted back to one.

Phileas Fogg: We have to get him out of there. Passepartout: But the whole battlefield is covered with rushing bullets, master. Phileas Fogg: True, Passepartout, but besides the point!

Count Gregory: Throw him over the side. Phileas Fogg: 'Throw him over the side'? How unimaginative!

Phileas Fogg: Passerpartout, if you shall die, I shall kill you!

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The Secret Life of Us

2001

Tom: What's that? Evan Wylde: It's chicken guts. Tom: Do you eat it? Evan Wylde: No. Ella: What's that? Evan Wylde: It's chicken guts. Ella: Do you eat it? Evan Wylde: No. Carmen: What's that? Evan Wylde: Talk about family resemblance! It's chicken guts, and no, I don't eat it.

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The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

1947

Gertrude Griswold: Walter, what's that awful smell? Walter Mitty: It's that cologne you gave me for Christmas. Gertrude Griswold: It's lovely, isn't it?

Walter Mitty: Your small minds are musclebound with suspicion. That's because the only exercise you ever get is jumping to conclusions.

Walter Mitty: Here I am, lard face.

Mrs Mitty: The clock didn't strike. I definitely heard it not strike.

Dr Hollingshead: Perhaps you are mistaking me for someone else. Walter Mitty: Oh no. No one looks as much like you do as you do.

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The Secret Policeman's Biggest Ball

1989 (TV)

(the Dead Parrot sketch) Pet Shop Owner: What's wrong with it? Customer: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead. That's what's wrong with it! Pet Shop Owner: So it is. Well, there's your money back, and a couple of holiday vouchers! Thank you! Customer: Well you can't say Thatcher hasn't changed some things!

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The Seventh Sign

1988

(While watching the news) David Bannon: So much misery, man against man. They kill each other. They have no faith. I used to think the world would change. But it hasn't. Abby: No, I guess it hasn't.

Old Priest: It is you, Morrell. But that was seventy years ago! Father Lucci: That was just yesterday to me.

David Bannon: Remeber it all, write it down, tell it; so people will use the chance she has given them.

Centurion Cartaphilus: Will you die for him? WILL YOU DIE FOR HIM?

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The Shadow Dancer

2005

Jeremy Taylor: You tied me up, threw me in a lake... Weldon Parish: It was a pond!

Jeremy Taylor: Okay... fine. I'll do it. Weldon Parish: Ha, too late! Jeremy Taylor: What? Weldon Parish: Too late. Life is about seizing the moment... and you let this one slip by.

Jeremy Taylor: We all fail... the courage is in the trying.

Weldon Parish: Priests shouldn't lie, Giovanni. Father Moretti: There is no lying in poker... only bluffing. And God forgives bluffing.

Father Moretti: I baptize you in the name of the father, the son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen Jeremy Taylor: What are you doing? Father Moretti: I'm baptizing you. Jeremy Taylor: I'm Jewish. Father Moretti: Not anymore.

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The Shakiest Gun in the West

1968

(On his dream of opening a dress shop) Pop: Just because I'm rough 'n' dirty 'n' don't wear underwear, doesn't mean I'm not creative.

Jesse Heywood: (drunk in bar) I'm not a failure. I'm a dentist, a REAL dentist! And I'll tell you what I'm gonna do I'm gonna spread dental health across the West like a plague!

Jesse Heywood: I can't believe it. Tonight's our wedding night. In a few hours we'll stop, make camp, have a little supper, then... beddy bye.

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The Sheepman

1958

Dell Payton: Was he very bad? Jason Sweet: Well, let's just say that he wasn't in any danger of getting a headache from the weight of all the gold stars on his crown.

Angelo: How come you get into the sheep business, boss? Jason Sweet: Well, I'll tell ya, Angelo. You see, it's this way. I just got tired of kicking cows around. You know how dumb they are. Angelo: And you think sheep are smarter? Jason Sweet: Oh, no, no. They're dumber. Only their easier kicking... and woollier.

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The Sign of Four

1987 (TV)

Athelney Jones: It's quite simple, really. The two brothers have a quarrel over the inheritance. Then, one kills the other so as to claim the whole of it for himself, leaving the body here! Quite simple! Sherlock Holmes: And the dead man gets up to lock the door from the inside? Athelney Jones: ... There's a flaw there... Somewhere...

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The Silencers

1966

(after Gail had splashed water on Matt, she then spills a drink on him after falling over when he's lighting her cigarette) Gail Hendrix: Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Matt Helm: Yeah, I know you are.

Matt Helm: I couldn't help noticing, but, these are your clothes? Barbara: What if they are? Matt Helm: Oh, I know you have a headache but don't take it out on me, I mean, what should I do with these? Barbara: (in a breathy voice) Just throw them anywhere. I won't be needing them 'til morning.

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The Silver Chair

1990 (TV)

Puddleglum: Not a man! Not a frog! A Marshwiggle!

Puddleglum: Suppose... suppose we have only dreamed and made up these things like sun, sky, stars, and moon, and Aslan himself. In that case, it seems to me that the made-up things are a good deal better than the real ones. And if this black pits of a kingdom is the best you can make, then it's a poor world. And we four can make a dream world to lick your real one hollow. Green Lady: How dare you threaten me! Puddleglum: As for me, I shall live like a Narnian even if there isn't any Narnia. So thank you very much for supper. We're going to leave your court at once and make our way across your great darkness to search for our land above!

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The Silver Horde

1930

Cherry Malotte: I'm Cherry Malotte! They know about me from San Francisco to Sitka. My reputation's got marks on it I couldn't rub off if I wanted to! I am what I am! I don't know how they finally settle things in this world or the next, but when the day comes I'll stand there with my chin up and take what's coming to me. And I wouldn't trade places with you, you white-livered, sweet-smelling hypocrite if they gave me a one-way ticket to Hell!

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The Singing Detective

2003

(Second hood turns off the car radio) First Hood: Hey, I like Patti Page. Second Hood: Yeah, but does she like you?

Dan Dark: There are things in that book, doc, that are reaching out to grab me by the throat. Dr Gibbon: Why don't you let them?

Dan Dark: So, what's the story? Who's the dame? Mark Binney: How'd you know there's a dame? Dan Dark: There's always a dame.

Second Hood: I'm sick of standing around here like a coupla dummies. Are we feds or aren't we? First Hood: No. We're just a coupla hoods. Second Hood: Shaddap!

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The Single Guy

1995

(Jonathan is writing a kid-friendly sermon for a priest) Jonathan Eliot: I'm a Mighty Morphin' Power Prophet.

Marie Blake: I married that idiot, Ricky. I walked out on that idiot, Ricky. And I've had DATES WITH NOTHING BUT IDIOTS EVER SINCE. Jonathan Eliot: That's not true, Marie. Marie Blake: Oh yes, it is. On Halloween, I had a one-night-stand with a hunchback. WHAT IS THAT?

Russell: I can't wait to see what this fool tips me today. Jonathan Eliot: This guy's tipped you before, Russ? Russell: Mm-hmm. The guy orders a bowl of soup and leaves a hundred dollar tip. What's up with that? Trudy Sloan: (exchanges glances with Marie) Your boyfriend's rich. Marie Blake: (nods her head) Cute. Sam Sloan: You two look real good together. Jonathan Eliot: Go for it, lamb chop!

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The Skeleton Key

2005

(from trailer) Luke: Good night, child.

Violet Devereaux: We've been waiting for you, Caroline.

Violet Devereaux: Child, I believe you broke my legs.

Caroline Ellis: I told you I wanted a black one this time. Luke: You know the black ones always run away.

Papa Justify: (Caroline is listening to the Conjur of Sacrifice record) From these chains, Lord, break me. From this prison, Lord, take me. Jill: What the hell is that? Caroline Ellis: (stopping record) Oh, um, it's this, uh, new band...

Caroline Ellis: I saw the room. Violet Devereaux: What room? Caroline Ellis: The room you said you've never seen

Caroline Ellis: (shouts) I don't believe!

Caroline Ellis: Thank you, child.

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The Skulls II

2002 (V)

Kelly: Ryan came, before. Ali: I told you not to let him in here! Kelly: Why are you breaking up with him? Ali: I loved you like a sister, and it hurts me that you have to turn on me like this, as the apartment is in my name, I think its best for you to go by tomorrow. Kelly: Alright, what did the skulls give you?

Professor: Are you even listening? (Ryan looks up) Ryan Sommers: Is this the part where I spin some ingenious line proving that I was in fact listening all along? Professor: No, this is the part where you get an F in Group Discussion.

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The Solid Gold Cadillac

1956

Miss L'Arriere: I had my swimming pool dug by an International Projects steam shovel. It's a darling shovel.

Edward L. McKeever: Miss Partridge, you see, I am a businessman. All my life I've concentrated on business. Now, this has necessarily forced me to devote more of my time to some things and less to others. You understand. Laura Partridge: Sure. You're scared of girls.

(last lines) Narrator: The solid gold Cadillac. Well, we had to call it something.

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The Song of Bernadette

1943

Peyramale: (to Bernadette) Wake up! Now! Else life is at an end for you. You are playing with fire, Bernadette.

Dr Dozous: There was something about the girl that precluded laughter.

Bernadette: The spring is not for me.

Sister Marie Therese Verzous: Are you pert or just stupid? Bernadette: I'm stupid, Sister.

Bernadette: Your Reverence, I DID see her. Peyramale: Yes, my child, you did. And you will see her again. Bernadette: Perhaps I haven't suffered enough. Peyramale: You've suffered enough, my child, for the Heaven of Heavens.

Dutour: If I understand you correctly, Doctor, science then excludes fraud; it excludes madness... I venture then to ask science, what is left? Dr Dozous: Yes, what IS left?

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The Sorcerer's Apprentice

2002

Filo: Oh, we can do this, Miss. Morgana: Thank you for that vote of confidence, Filo. Filo: You're welcome, Miss. (Morgana gives him a look) Oh, sorry Miss. Sly: He's right, Miss. We can do this, me and Filo. We've done banks. You know we're good at banks. Morgana: Everyone's good at something. Even you two. Besides, this isn't a bank - it's a museum. Sly: (disappointed) Oh... I like banks.

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The Soup

2004

Kevin Federline: Love... is love Host: Shhh, Kevin... you had me at "Duh".

Host: Nicole Kidman's not going to Tom Cruise's wedding. It's not that she's bitter, it's just that she's an actress and she doesn't feel like working that day.

(repeated line) Whitney Houston: Kiss my ass!

Elmo: Elmo says fuck the police!

Host: (on phone) You're a player. No, you're the playa! You! Okay, we're *both* playas! See you at the Cheesecake Factory!

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The Spider Woman

1944

Sherlock Holmes: (on the pyjama suicides) Directing them is one of the most fiendishly clever minds in all Europe today. I suspect a woman. Dr John H. Watson: You amaze me, Holmes. Why a woman? Sherlock Holmes: Because the method, whatever it is, is particularly subtle and cruel. Feline, not canine. Inspector Lestrade: Popycock. When a bloke does himself in, that's suicide. Sherlock Holmes: Unless a bloke is driven to suicide; in that case it's murder. Dr John H. Watson: Driven? That *sounds* like a woman, doesn't it? Sherlock Holmes: Definitley - a female Moriarty. Clever. Ruthless. And above all, cautious.

Dr John H. Watson: A word, what word? Sherlock Holmes: Pygmy!

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The Spirit of '43

1943

Spender: It's your dough ain't it? Thrifty: Aye, laddie, it's your dough, but it's your war too!

Spender: (to Donald Duck, making "curvaceous woman" sign with his hands) I've got some good dates for us. Thrifty: (to Donald Duck, pointing to due dates for income tax payments on flip calendar) But laddie, I've got some *better* dates!

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The Spirit of '76

1990

Cheryl Dickman: What sign are you? Because my mood ring just, like, totally changed colors.

Dr Von Mobil: We, the People, have a right to remain silent. Anything you say may be used against you. One nation, invisible, with Liberty and Christmas for all.

Miss Liberty: Let's take a look at the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution, because in a sense that's where it all starts: A lie from the President to manipulate Congress in order to fund an undeclared war? Now not only does this render the Tripartite system functionally useless, but it's clearly a violation of the Oath of Office prescribed by the Constitution itself.

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The Spitfire Grill

1996

Percy: Most folks would rather hear a colorful lie over the truth any day.

Nahum Goddard: Who do you supposed is gonna keep an eye on her? Sheriff Walsh: Well, if she's working at the Spitfire, I'd guess everyone.

Hannah Ferguson: Until I forget my name or start drooling at the mouth, I'll thank you to let me make my own decisions.

Joe Sperling: You sound like you're from the South. Percy Talbot: Things ain't always what they sound.

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The Spy in Black

1939

The Reverand John Harris: That medal ribbon. I don't seem to recognise it. What is it? Captain Hardt: The Iron Cross... Second Class. The Reverand John Harris: Second Class... then you must be a prisoner of war? Captain Hardt: No. (Draws Luger) You are. The Reverand John Harris: Oh dear.

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The Squeeze

1977

Jim Naboth: It's brandy. It's medicinal. Teddy: Bollocks! Jim Naboth: Teddy, I'm a Scotch drinker - you know that. I just have the occasional brandy when I'm not drinking.

Masseuse: We do some lovely things here. Jim Naboth: Like what? Masseuse: Topless. VIP. "Special Relief". Jim Naboth: "Special Relief" - now that sounds interesting. How much? Masseuse: To you, darling, six quid. Jim Naboth: Six quid? Cheaper to do it myself!

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The Stalking of Laurie Show

2000 (TV)

Michelle: You're a betraying, evil person, Laurie.

Michelle: You ruined my life, I'm going to ruin yours. And you know what? I'll enjoy it.

Michelle: I'm not afraid to kill everyone one of you.

Tabbitha: I thought that would make you happy. Michelle: Nothing makes me happy. I wont be happy until Laurie Show has paid for the pain and suffering she has caused me and my baby.

Michelle: I would never do what you did. But if I did I wouldn't run away crying like I was the injured party. I'M the injured party. I'M the injured party!

Michelle: I am gonna make sure that you never get one wink of sleep for the rest of your life.

Michelle: You called the cops! Laurie: My mother did!

Sam: Last week she was talking about killing you. I think she's gone crazy.

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The Stars Look Down

1940

(first lines) Richard Barras: Well, Fenwick, will the men work tomorrow? Robert Fenwick: Not if its to bin Scopper Shaft, Mr Barras. (indicating a well-dressed union official) Richard Barras: Even against your union? Robert Fenwick: The union isn't being asked to work in Scopper Shaft. On the other side of that coal seam is a million tons of flood water ready to rush right down on top of us. Richard Barras: You don't think I'd take a chance in floodin' me own mine, do you, Fenwick? Robert Fenwick: Well, show us the plans of them old workings, then!

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The Sticky Fingers of Time

1997

Isaac: See, Drew, that's what happens with non-linear chicks. You get shit for stuff you didn't even do yet.

Tucker: Time has five fingers, one is the past, two is the present, and three is the future. Ofelia: And four is what could have been and five for what yet could be.

Isaac: Watching fusion is like catching God fucking.

Ofelia: Didn't anyone tell you about my tail? I engineered it myself, a fully prehensile extension of my vertebrae.

Ofelia: Without a central nervous system you won't go very far.

Drew: I don't do dairy. Tucker: Do what to dairy? Drew: Is this meatloaf? I don't eat meat. Tucker: Why not, are you a Buddhist?

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The Storyteller

1988

The Storyteller: I am a teller of stories, a weaver of dreams. I can dance, sing, and in the right weather I can stand on my head. I know seven words of Latin, I have a little magic, and a trick or two. I know the proper way to meet a Dragon, I can fight dirty but not fair, I once swallowed thirty oysters in a minute. I am not domestic, I am a luxury, and in that sense, necessary.

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The Strange Love of Martha Ivers

1946

Toni Marachek: Go ahead and hit me, Sam. I've got it coming.

Hotel clerk: There's half as many baths as there is rooms. Half the rooms has bath and half hasn't; that's one way of looking at it. Another is - for each two rooms one has a bath in the middle and the other hasn't - or - you might say - there's a half a bath to each of two rooms.

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The Strawberry Roan

1948

Walt Bailey: Listen, son, if he starts riding the rails, empty the saddle like it was something hot. Gene Autry: Yeah, no glory riding. It's better to pull up than to reach your shadow on the ground.

Gene Autry: You know, Joe, I had a horse once that piled into a fence. He healed all right but he never was any use to anybody. The boys said it broke his spirit and might as well shoot him. Joe Bailey: Why didn't you? Gene Autry: Well, that would have been a waste. I know he had good stuff and anybody might have thought he just got scared and quit. I've seen horses busted up ten times worse and still come out of it. All he needed was a little time and patience to give him confidence. He turned out to be the best cow pony I've ever had. Well, I've got to go to work. You know, Joe, I was just thinking: horses are a lot like people.

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The Stripper

1963

Kenny: Hey Lila! When I was a kid, did you used to kiss me goodnight? Lila Green: You're not a kid anymore. Kenny: You kissed me last night. Lila Green: Like I was your big sister!

Lila Green: I don't need you, Ricky, because someone has just shown me that he cares enough about me to make me care about myself. I've got me and me can take me wherever me wants to go!

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The Stuff

1985

David 'Mo' Rutherford: The name's Mo Rutherford. They call me that 'cause when people give me money, I always want mo'.

Col Malcolm Grommett Spears: We're Americans - we've never lost a war! Jason: What about 'Nam, sir? Col Malcolm Grommett Spears: 'Nam? We lost that war at home, sonny.

Col Malcolm Grommett Spears: I will permit this colored man to speak. But speak one word of the Commie party, or one word in code, and I will blow his head off.

David 'Mo' Rutherford: No one is as dumb as I appear to be.

Col Malcolm Grommett Spears: The yellow sons of bitches, they took their own lives, commie bastards. You cheated me!

Col Malcolm Grommett Spears: Pay the drivers, issue a ten percent tip, get a cash receipt. Militants: Yes sir! Col Malcolm Grommett Spears: Proceed to the main lobby, we will reassemble, HUP!

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The Substance of Fire

1996

Issac Geldheart: You think I'm going to publish some trashy novel by some slicko hipster?

Martin Geldheart: What is the one thing that landscape architecture requires? Student: A social motif. Martin Geldheart: Right.

Sarah Geldheart: Tell me the truth. Does anybody actually finish a book once they have formed an opinion of it?

Social Services worker: It's a process. No one person can come to a conclusion.

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The Suffering

2004 (VG)

Goose: Will you shut the fuck up, you baby-raping, sodomizing, sack of SHIT?

Loading Screen: Take away a man's light, his clothes, his food, his friends, his air, and you leave him with nothing but himself. And for most, that is not pleasant company.

Dallas: Look, Torque, let me tell you something straight up: I'm goddamn shocked I ain't dead yet!

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The Sun Also Rises

1957

Lady Brett Ashley: Do you always kill your friends? Pedro Romero: Yes, so they do not kill me.

Jake Barnes: You don't like Paris? Georgette: No. Jake Barnes: Why don't you go somewhere else? Georgette: There isn't anywhere else.

Lady Brett Ashley: I never make plans.

Jake Barnes: Don't try to tell me how to live with myself! I know all about that. It's just living with other people that gets to be tough once in a while.

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The Sundowners

1950

Tom Cloud: I think you know who killed Juan. Sheriff Elmer Gall: All right. It was you who horned into this valley when there wasn't room for you. Tom Cloud: I made room - about fifteen mile! Sheriff Elmer Gall: Yeah, and if you expect me to hold onto it for you, you can go rope a duck. Tom Cloud: I don't expect anything from you. I came here to report a murder. And that's the last I'll hear of it. Sheriff Elmer Gall: I'm not so sure. I'm getting pretty sick of the trouble you bring on. Tom Cloud: Trouble? You don't know the meaning of the word.

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The Sunshine Boys

1975

Willy Clark: Lousy Japs, they lost the war, now they send us their junk!

Willy Clark: Oh, you a funny man, Al, a pain in the ass but a funny man. Al Lewis: You know what your trouble is, Willy? You always took the jokes too seriously. It was just jokes. We did comedy on the stage for 43 years. I don't think you enjoyed it once. Willy Clark: If I was there to enjoy it, I would buy a ticket.

Al Lewis: You know what you are? You're a 73-year-old putz. Willy Clark: At least the putz didn't drive all the way here from New Jersey!

Willy Clark: Well, you know, people don't go out to New Jersey unless they have to.

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The Swarm

1978

Helicopter Pilot #2: Oh, my God! Bees! Bees! Millions of Bees!

Brad Crane: Are you endowing these bees with human motives? Like saving their fellow bees from captivity, or seeking revenge on Mankind? General Thalius Slater: I always credit my enemy, no matter what he may be, with equal intelligence.

Dr Andrews: Billions of dollars have been spent to make these nuclear plants safe. Fail-safe! The odds against anything going wrong are astronomical, Doctor! Dr Hubbard: I appreciate that, Doctor. But let me ask you. In all your fail-safe techniques, is there a provision for an attack by killer bees?

Brad Crane: I have cardio-pep in my van. Capt Helena Anderson: Cardio-pep?

Brad Crane: We've been fighting a losing battle against the insects for fifteen years, but I never thought I'd see the final face-off in my lifetime. And I never dreamed, that it would turn out to be the bees. They've always been our friend.

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The Swimmer

1968

Ned Merrill: Pool by pool, they form a river all the way to our house.

Ned Merrill: Here's to sugar on the strawberries!

Ned Merrill: Thy belly is like a heap of wheat.

Ned Merrill: You loved it. YOU LOVED IT!

Ned Merrill: On a scale of one to ten, how good is he in bed?

Restaraunt Owner: Oh, normal mustard wasn't good enough for Mrs Merrill, she had to have dijon mustard.

Ned Merrill: I thought you were going to dive. Kevin Gilmartin Jr.: There's no water. Ned Merrill: I thought you were going to dive!

Ned Merrill: If there is anything you want, anything at all. Come to me. I will be your guardian angel.

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The Taking of Beverly Hills

1991

Boomer Hayes: (Benitez has crashed his tank into a swimming pool) Touchdown, asshole! Benitez: It's only half-time, my friend. Half-time!

Boomer Hayes: That's enough of this shit! I'm not playing defense anymore!

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The Taming of the Shrew

1967

Petruchio: Why, there's a wench! Come on and kiss me, Kate.

Tranio: That wench is dark mad or wonderfully forward.

Petruchio: 'Tis the mind that makes the body rich.

Petruchio: Nothing but sit and sit, and eat and eat!

Katherina: Asses are made to bear, and so are you! Petruchio: Women are made to bear, and so are you!

Katherina: Let him that moved you hither remove you hence!

Petruchio: What, with my tongue in your tail?

Petruchio: Will you, nill you, I will marry you.

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The Tarzan Ape Man

1981

(It's night. We hear Tarzan yelling) Parker: Oh, shut up, you boring son of a bitch!

Parker: Jane, do you know what he wants? What this ape wants? Jane: He's not an ape! Parker: He is an ape. He lives like an ape, he kills like an ape. But do you understand what he wants? Jane: You know everything... Parker: Well, this ape son of a bitch wants you. Parker: I'm gonna catch that animal son of a bitch, Mr Holt!

Jane: Don't you know how to smile? Do you know you're more beautiful than any girl I know? Oh, you're a lot more.

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The Terror Within II

1990

Ernie: It feels like my insides are on fire.

Ariel: There's nothing wrong with people needing each other.

(Ariel attempts to communicate with the monster) Ariel: Stop! Stop right there! Don't hurt him! You're part of him! You're part of me!

Elaba: You have come at last - the prophecy has been fulfilled.

Kara: A mutant sperm of some sort, forcing its way into the embryo, fusing with it, battling for genetic dominance!

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The Thing with Two Heads

1972

Dr Maxwell Kirshner: Philip, get me another body.

Dr Maxwell Kirshner: What the hell is the matter with you, Moss? Get back to bed! Jack Moss: You jive.

Jack Moss: It's all right, honey, I'm not gonna hurt you. Lila: You get into more shit...

Dr Maxwell Kirshner: Williams! If you cut off my head, that'll be murder!

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The This Is America, Charlie Brown

1988 NASA Space Station (1988) SUSPENDED

(Lucy has asked Charlie Brown what his favorite song is.) Charlie Brown: Well, there's one, and I think it was written in the 1960s. I think it was some of that jazz Franklin was talking about. I believe the composer was a man by the name of Vince Guaraldi. And I think it was called "Linus and Lucy"... by coincidence, of course. And I think it goes like this... (Charlie Brown hums Linus and Lucy, aka The Peanuts Theme.)

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Week End

1967

Joesph Balsam: I am here to inform these modern times of the grammatical era's end and the beginning of flamboyance especially in cinema.

Corinne: Didn't you heard what he said? Marx says we're all brothers! Roland: Marx didn't said that. Some other communist said that. Jesus said that.

Roland: What a rotten film. All we meet are crazy people.

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