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Movie Quotes - 115

Film dialogue

The Delinquents

1989

Lola: Your definition? It's lucky the world isn't made according to your definiton,'cause it would be an ugly one. With all your cakes and frocks and olives but no love. 'Cause that's the thing you fear most, isn't it, love? You're afraid of it,you try and kill it in other people, but you can't stop people from loving each other! You can throw away all Brownie's letters but you can't keep him from me, because he's in me.

Lola: Here! Had such fun running this up on your nice little electric machine that goes frontwards and backwards and sideways and all around the town and buttonholes and god knows what other shit! Well you can stick your stupid little frock!

The Delta Force

1986

Nick Alexander: Did anyone ever tell you that you have beautiful legs? Bartender: Oh, Nick! You can't see them from here. Nick Alexander: No, but I do have a good imagination. Well, actually I'm just trying to be nice.

Harry Goldman: I was in Beirut 20 years ago. You should've been here then. It was beautiful! Beirut had casinos, dances, parties, concerts. It was the Las Vegas of the Middle East.

Nick Alexander: It's a go. TAKE THEM DOWN!

Nick Alexander: (Coronel Alexander to Major McCoy) General Woodbridge is waiting for the 'Go Ahead' from the president, Im waiting for the 'Go Ahead' from General Woodbridge, and you are waiting for the 'Go Ahead' from me.

Bobby: I'll see you when I see you

Maj. Scott McCoy: (after taking out a terrorist) Sleep tight, sucker.

The Descent

2005

Holly: (Sarah has just been scared by a bunch of bats which attacked her. Holly films the bats flying away) (in imitation of 'The Count' from Sesame Street) Holly: One bat, two bats, fifty bats! (Beth comes up to her) Beth: Holly... Fuck off

Juno: (while fighting a crawler) Fucker!

Beth: (Sarah is trapped in a tunnel and Beth is trying to calm her down with a joke) Hey, you love this one, "How do you give a lemon an orgasm?" You tickle its citrus!

Beth: I'm an English teacher, not fucking Tomb Raider.

The Desert Fox: The Story of Rommel

1951

Field Marshal Gerd von Runstedt: (It's) too late for me. I'm seventy now--too old to fight, too old to challenge authority, however evil... but not too old, however, to wish you and your friends the best of luck in their extremely interesting enterprise.

Field Marshal Keitel: Have you any better suggestions? Field Marshal Gerd von Runstedt: Yes, one very much better. Make peace, you idiot!

Gen Fritz Bayerlein: I don't know how the men on the line feel about it, but so far as the staff is concerned, I'd just as soon have a commander-in-chief with a little touch of cowardice about him. Just enough to get him back to his headquarters every now and then.

The Designated Mourner

1997

Jack: The past and the future don't actually exist. I mean where are they?

Jack: Stories are as necessary as food.

Jack: I guess I've always been a lowbrow at heart.

Jack: I kiss you, but it's as though my kisses hurtle off a cliff. You take off your clothes, but you're not naked. What can we do, then? What will happen?

The Desperate Hours

1955

(first lines) (the morning newspaper hits the front door) Eleanor Hilliard: I'll get it, darling. Dan Hilliard: Some morning I'm gonna catch up with that kid.

(last lines) Ralphie Hilliard: Dad? Dan Hilliard: Yes, Ralph? (Ralph whispers something in his father's ear, and the two embrace)

The Deviants

2004

Norm: Madeline, physically we're great, but emotionally we don't complement each other at all! Madeline: What are you talking about? Just yesterday I complimented you: I told you I like the way you fuck me.

Monique: I haven't been this bummed out since I found out the woman who fit me for my first bra... she didn't even work at the department store.

The Devil Bat

1940

Henry Morton: You're a dreamer, Doc. Too much money is bad for dreamers. Dr Paul Carruthers: So you tried to pay me in flattery, telling me that I'm a dreamer. Well... I *do* dream - dreams that you would *never* guess.

Editor Joe McGinty: Say, have you ever had a date with a girl? Reporter Johnny Layton: A girl? Oh, yes, a girl. I believe I did take a girl out once.

Dr Paul Carruthers: Now, rub it on the tender part of your neck.

(after listening to a scientist's theory on the radio) Dr Paul Carruthers: (thick Hungarian accent) Imbecile! Bombastic Ignoramus!

Tommy: (trying the lotion) That feels great... very soothing. Dr Paul Carruthers: I don't think you'll ever use anything else.

Roy Heath: Goodbye, Dr Carruthers! Dr Paul Carruthers: Gooooodbye, Roy.

The D.I.

1957

TSgt Moore: Private Owens! Was the sand flea you killed male or female? Pvt. Owens: Male, sir! TSgt Moore: Then this ain't it. Keep looking.

TSgt Moore: Out on that drill field yesterday, you people were miserable. You people ain't even a mob. A mob's got a leader. You people are a herd. I'm gonna get me a sheep dog!

Sgt. Drill Instructor: So, what is your idea of the perfect woman? TSgt Moore: A good looking blonde swinger who runs a liquor store.

TSgt Moore: (shouting) If your brains were made of dynamite you couldn't blow your nose!

TSgt Moore: Why don't you take a long walk on a short pier?

Pvt. Owens: I have a headache, sir. TSgt Moore: You don't have a headache. Only your Drill Instructor is allowed to have headaches. I have 72 of them.

The Disappearance of Flight 412

1974 (TV)

(first lines) Narrator: This is a UFO - an Unidentified Flying Object. It was photographed at Santa Catalina Island in April of 1966. Look at it again. Closely. Hundreds, even thousands of witnesses have seen similar things appear in the sky. Persons living miles from others have testified independently that UFOs have appeared in a specific place at a specific time.

The Doolins of Oklahoma

1949

(Annie and Rose watch the men leave on another cattle drive) Cattle Annie: I sure wish I was one of 'em. Rose of Cimarron: But you can't be. All you can do is sit here... and hear that tune play... and watch them leave... and wonder if they're going to come back. Cattle Annie: You're talking about love... I'm talking about cows!

The Dresser

1983

(As a train is leaving a station) Sir: Stop that train! (the train stops at once)

Madge: No, I haven't been happy. Yes, it's been worth it.

(repeated line) Norman: I had a friend...

Sir: The critics? No, I have nothing but compassion for them. How can I hate the crippled, the mentally deficient, and the dead?

Madge: It is a disease. Her Ladyship: What is? Madge: Hopefulness.

Sir: Keep your teeth in! Geoffrey: It's only when I'm nervous Sir: You will be nervous. I guarantee it.

Norman: My memory is like a policeman. It is never there when you want it.

The Drifter

1988

Morrison: Even crazy people have reasons, they just have crazy reasons.

Maddie: Well, what's he like? Julia: Well, he's different. Maddie: Different? How? Julie: For one thing, he's fucking crazy.

Julia: I don't know whether to suck it or shoot it off.

Julia: Look, I better get going. I have a presentation tomorrow. Trey: Well, I'll see you later. Julia: I don't think that would be a very good idea. Trey: Why? Julia: I lead a very simple life. Trey: So do I. Julia: For me right now you would be a major complication. Trey: I'm not very complicated. Julia: I think I liked this better when there was no words.

The Duchess and the Dirtwater Fox

1976

Charlie 'Dirtwater Fox' Malloy: Here it is... Virginia City, my kind of town. Amanda Quaid/Duchess Swansbury: What constitutes your kind of town? Charlie 'Dirtwater Fox' Malloy: Any place I can get rid of you!

Charlie 'Dirtwater Fox' Malloy: I'm not crazy about our odds, Duchess, but I like the company!

The Duellists

1977

Gabriel Feraud: I knew a man who was stabbed to death by a woman; gave him the surprise of his life. Laura: I once knew a woman who was beaten to death by a man. I don't think it surprised *her* at all.

Armand D'Hubert: I am going to be killed responsibly, on horseback, as a compliment to the cavalry.

Armand D'Hubert: General Feraud has made occasional attempts to kill me. That does not give him the right to claim my acquaintance.

Armand D'Hubert: We came here to kill each other. Any ground is suitable for that.

The El Paso Kid

1946

Sunset Carson: Jeff and I are leavin' this pack. We don't like travelin' with mongrels.

(Instead of stealing the stagecoach's strongbox as they planned, Sunset and Jeff defeat a rival gang's robbery attempt - an act witnessed by the sheriff's daughter) Sunset Carson: Oh, Jeff, I almost forgot to tell you - her father is the sheriff. Jeff Winters: You don't say? Now that makes everything just dandy. Sally Stoner: Oh, you must know him. He's quite famous! Sunset Carson: Oh, he must be one we missed. Sally Stoner: You'll like him. Sunset Carson, Jeff Winters: I'm sure we will! Jeff Winters: Oh, we just dote on sheriffs.

The Ex

1997

Deidre Kenyon: I believe that there's only one right person for everyone... and you mustn't let that person get away.

Deidre Kenyon: Sometimes you just can't see the things that are really dangerous...

Deidre Kenyon: Do you see how wonderful it is having a history as a mental patient? I'm not responsible for one goddamned thing I do. I'm a certified nut. I wouldn't even stand trial, do you hear me? I wouldn't even stand trial. David Kenyon: Are you threatening me? Deidre Kenyon: That's my little secret.

The Facts of Life

1960

Larry Gilbert: ... and she said, "That's not a new stance - " Kitty Weaver: That's a new husband.

Kitty Weaver: Am I really doing this? Me, Kitty Weaver? Secretary to the PTA? Den mother to the Cub Scouts? Am I really going to San Francisco to spend the weekend... with the husband of my best friend?

Kitty Weaver: (after Larry criticizes her for buying a rabbit instead of a chicken at the grocery store) IT WAS LYING DOWN!

Larry Gilbert: (Kitty yawns during Larry's routine) Madam, your Vodka gimlets are showing. Vodka, that's an alcohol rub from the inside.

Singer on the Radio: (Kitty is nervously waiting for Larry. She switches on the radio) This is my first affair, so please be kind... (Kitty quickly shuts off the radio)

The Fall Guy

1981

Colt Seavers: This is the story of one of America's great unsung heroes. I mean you've seen him but you never knew who he was. You've cheered for him and cried for him and women have wanted to die for him. But did he ever get any credit or the girl? No! He's what we call the "Stuntman" and the reason I'm talking so fondly about him is, well because it's me, Colt Seaver. Anyway, picture work isn't wall-to-wall employment so maybe you wonder how a guy keeps his head together? Well, one way is to wait by the phone and wait and wait. The other is to take an occasional job with the court system of the United States of America where a man is considered innocent until proven guilty. Unfortunately sometimes a lot of these people get out of jail on what we call bail and they'd run like hell! ... and that's where I come in. I sometimes pick up rent money trying to find them and bring them back to justice

The Falls

2003

John: Fuckin' love these Glocks, man. Throw 'em on the ground, kick 'em, whatever. They never go off accidentally.

Detective Allen Crane: This ain't America, you little shit. This is Buffalo. I'm the big dog around here, and I CAN piss all over your rights. I can put you in the ground if I want to.

David Marx: See that sorry son of a bitch? That's me, David Marx, and today has been the worst day of my life.

Bar Philosopher: You know the Underground Railroad ran through Buffalo? Bar Philosopher (II) : Underground Railroad? They can't even build a decent fucking subway.

The Fantastic Four

1994/II

The Thing: I love walking into a trap, don't you? Mr Fantastic: I don't know, never done it before.

The Thing: It's clobberin' time!

Human Torch: Flame on!

Human Torch: Flame off!

The Thing: What kind of a thing have I turned in to?

Mr Fantastic: I think it's made us feel that our worst character defects are in fact our greatest strengths. Human Torch: Holy Freud, Batman. I think you're right.

The Fantasticks

2000

Amos Babcock Bellamy: You see! Whenever you have a problem, the United States Postal Service comes to the rescue. Ben Hucklebee: Yeah, they run a tight ship.

El Gallo: There is a curious paradox that no one can explain: who understands the secrets of the reaping of the grain? Who understands why spring is born out of winter's laboring pain, or why we all must die a bit before we grow again?

The Fat Albert Christmas Special

1977 (TV)

Fat Albert: Hey! Hey! Hey! What can you say?

Bill: Russell, you're like school during summer vacation. Russell: School during summer vacation? Bill: Yeah, no class.

Rudy: Your face reminds me of a cat eating lemons. Tyrone: A cat eating lemons? Rudy: Yeah, a sourpuss.

Fat Albert: I gotta see a man about a bulldozer.

The Fatal Glass of Beer

1933

Mr Snavely: Once the city gets into a ba-hoy's sa-histem, he a-loses his a-hankerin', for the ca-huntry.

Mr Snavely: I think I'll go milk the elk.

Mrs Snavely: He wants more money and if he don't get it, he'll take our malamutes. Mr Snavely: He won't take old Bozo, my lead dog. Mrs Snavely: Why not, Pa? Mr Snavely: 'Cause I et him. Mrs Snavely: You ET him? Mr Snavely: He was mighty good with mustard.

Mr Snavely: And it ain't a fit night out for man nor beast.

Mr Snavely: (trying to play the bugle) The cold has affected my embouchure.

Chester: I feel so tired, I think I'll go to bed. Mr Snavely: Why don't you lie down and take a little rest first, Chester?

The Favour Watch and the Very Big Fish, The

1991

Louis Aubinard: I mean, I've got my doubts. I'm not totally convinced about God. If He's there, He's there. If He's not, He's not. In fact, if He is there at least I can say I've done more for Him than He's done for me. He's performed no miracles for me, my friend. "Cast thy bread upon the waters and it shall be returned to you a thousand-fold." But what can you do with a thousand loaves of wet bread?"

Pianist: I've done miracles for your business and if you can't appreciate that then I can go elsewhere. Norbert: Three hundred and fifty. Pianist: No. Norbert: Four hundred. And that's it! Pianist: Plus travel expenses. Norbert: But you walk here! Pianist: I walk expensively.

The Fearless Vampire Killers

1967

Count Von Krolock: A year ago exactly on this same night we were assembled here in this very room: I your pastor, and you my beloved flock. With hopefulness in my heart I told you then that with Lucifer's aid we might look forward to a more succulent occasion. Cast back your minds. There we were, gathered together, gloomy and despondent, around a single meager woodcutter.

(A young woman tries to fend off Shagail, a Jewish Vampire, with a cross) Shagail: Oy vey, have you got the wrong vampire.

(last lines) Narrator: That night, fleeing from Transylvania, Professor Abronsius never guessed he was carrying away with him the very evil he had wished to destroy. Thanks to him, this evil would at last be able to spread across the world.

The Field

1990

Maggie: It wasn't your fault. "Bull" McCabe: Wasn't it my mouth the words came out of?

"Bull" McCabe: She's a woman like your mother. If we knew how to keep the women happy we'd still be in paradise.

"Bull" McCabe: There's another law stronger than the common law. Father Doran: What's that? "Bull" McCabe: The law of the land.

"Bull" McCabe: He's alright. Let him be. He learnt the lesson of the land.

The Fighting Sheriff

1931

(first lines) Sheriff Bob Terry: Come on out or I'm comin' in after ya. Jack Cameron, alias Jack Smith: You better come shootin'! That's the only way you'll take me!

Mary Cameron: If he's in love, it's a secret and he knows how to keep a secret.

Aunt Sally: Like it? He'd like a sizzlin' red hot mustard plaster if he thought you'd made it.

Mary Cameron: Pretty words come easily to your lips. Flash Halloway: Only because your pretty lips inspire them.

The Filth and the Fury

2000

John Lydon: (remembering Sid Vicious) All's I can tell you is I could take on England, but I couldn't take on one heroin addict.

John Lydon: (remembering Glen Matlock) If you talk like an arsehole, and look like and arsehole, then you're an arsehole.

The First of the Few

1942

German: Guns always have the last word! Any nation that has forgotten that is finished!

Geoffrey Crisp: Mitch, what do really think I can get out of her? Reginald J. Mitchell: Oh, two eighty five. Geoffrey Crisp: Two eighty-five! Mitch, this is 1927, not 1977!

(The Mitchells have bumped into Crisp at a Dress Ball) Reginald J. Mitchell: Well, who's the lucky lady? Geoffrey Crisp: Don't know, I haven't met her yet!

Air Ministry Official: We shall need it in 12 months. Sorry, but that's all we can give you. Reginald J. Mitchell: You shall have it in eight. Because... because that's all I can give you.

The Fixer Uppers

1935

Stanley: If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right in the nose! And I'm just the feller that can do it!

Oliver: Now, you're right up our alley! We have a number here which I think is one of Stanley's tenderest thoughts. Now, just listen to this: "A merry Christmas, husband/ Happy New Year's nigh!/ I wish you Easter greetings/ Hooray for the Fourth of July!" Now, we call that our "four-in-one" card. Stanley: Yes, Ma'am. You can use it all the year 'round. Mrs Pierre Gustave: No, thanks. I'm still not interested.

The Flash

1990

The Flash: It's not guns that kill people - it's these little hard things!

The Flash: Well what would you do? Run through the streets stark naked at 350 miles per hour with bells on your toes?

The Trickster: Nobody tricks the trickster! Nobody!

Tina McGee: So it's either this or you can run buck naked. Barry: Well, thank you.

Denise Cowan: Don't be a fool. James Jesse: I can't help it.

Rebecca Frost: Oh, no. I'm much too busy.

Julio Mendez: Man, I am switching you to decaf.

Nicholas Pike: Who are you? Where did you come from? Flash: I came from you, Pike. You made me when you killed my brother. Nicholas Pike: I killed a lot of men's brothers.

(While holding a guitar) Flash: Hey, Lesko! YOU READY TO ROCK?

The Flesh and the Fiends

1959

Dr Geoffrey Mitchell: We are students of Hippocrates, but some of us are hypocrites.

(last lines) Dr Robert Knox: Before commencing this morning's lecture, let us consider the Oath of Hippocrates, the sacred oath of our profession: "I will prescribe regimen for the good of my patients according to my ability and my judgment and never do harm to anyone."

The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas

2000

Fred Flintstone: Your eyes are like two big blue eyes.

Fred Flintstone: Hey, was that an insult? Gazoo: Well, if the shoe fits... Barney Rubble: What's a shoe? Gazoo: Than I guess it *was* an insult.

Fred Flintstone: My name is Fred Flintstone. F-L-I-N... Barney Rubble: T Fred Flintstone: Stone

Mick Jagged: You're awfully pretty when you smile, Miss Betty O'Shale.

Gazoo: (after seeing the "Univershell" logo) Did anyone else see those big letters circling the planet?

Col Slaghoopal: (upon seeing his reflection in the mirror) So, we meet again.

Col Slaghoopal: Happy birthday, Wilma Wilma: It's *your* birthday Col Slaghoopal: Well, these (pearls) won't fit me.

The Flying Gardener

2001

Michael Malric-Smith: (Monologue as he waits for Chris to come back.) Oh, what's he going to bring back this time? Wheelbarrows? Garden statues? Ton of earth? God help us... (Chris comes back with two trays of large plants and puts them on the back seat of the helicopter.) Oh, that's going to take a knocking.

(As they land outside Knightshayes House, Devon) Chris Beardshaw: That's a wonderful view of the house. Looks like your house. Michael Malric-Smith: I wish!

The Fog

2005

(from trailer) Spooner: And leave my forefathers out of this! I'm from Chicago. Southside.

(from trailer) Spooner: It killed them. The fog killed them.

Stevie Wayne: What kind of fog goes against the wind?

(repeated line) Captain Blake: Elizabeth...

Fisherman: Once your friend thaws out he'd better have a damn good story!

The Forgotten

1973

(Ray is fixing the asylum's telephone) Allyson King: You know, I used to live in this place where the phone man was always coming around. Ray Daniels: That bad, huh? Allyson King: Uh uh... that good. Ray Daniels: Oh, I thought that you meant that you'd had a lot of phone trouble. Allyson King: Hell, I didn't even have a phone!

Allyson King: You're all alike. Danny... Jaffee... ALL of you! HYPOCRITES! And you, trying to be so damn pure. Get out! GET OUT!

Mrs Callingham: Up the airy mountain, down the rushy glen, we dare not go a hunting, for fear of little men!

(repeated line) Judge Oliver W. Cameron: My name is... Oliver... W... Cameron. Juror's consult. Abjudicator of the court of appeals. Doctor of jurisprudence.

The Forsyte Saga

2002 (mini)

(when Soames proposes) Irene Forsyte: You must promise me that if our marriage is not a success, you will set me free.

(when Soames proposes) Irene Forsyte: If I marry you, you must make me one promise. If our marriage isn't a success, you must set me free.

Soames Forsyte: You are my wife!

(refering to Irene) Soames Forsyte: She is mine!

(after their daughter is born) Annette Forsyte: Ma petite fleur. Soames Forsyte: Fleur. We'll call her Fleur.

Soames Forsyte: Miss Heron, will you be mine? Irene Forsyte: I will marry you, Mr Forsyte.

Jolyon: (at Robin Hill) Would you like to see the house? Soames Forsyte: I've seen it.

The Fortune Cookie

1966

(about Willie Gingrich, his shyster lawyer brother-in-law) Harry Hinkle: He's so full of twists. He starts to describe a donut and it comes out a pretzel.

Harry Hinkle: Of course he's upset. He's a lawyer - he's paid to be upset.

(justifying why Willie should cheat his insurance company) Willie Gingrich: What's wrong? Insurance companies have too much - they have to microfilm it.

(to kids making a lot of noise) Willie Gingrich: Why don't you kids go play on the freeway?

(repeated line) Harry Hinkle: You can fool all of the people some of the time, you can even fool some of the people all of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time!

The Frost Report

1966

Various roles: Morning, super. Various roles: Morning, wonderful.

Various roles: I look down on them because I am upper class. Various roles: I look up to him because he is upper class but I look down on him because he is lower class. I am middle class. Various roles: (pause) I know my place. Various roles: I get a feeling of superiority over them. Various roles: I get a feeling of inferiority to him but a feeling of superiority over him. Various roles: (pause) I get a pain in the back of my neck.

The Fugitive Kind

1959

Carol Cutrere: Juking? Oh! Well, that's when you get in a car, which is preferably open in any kind of weather. And then you drink a little bit and you drive a little bit, and then you stop and you dance a little bit with a jukebox. And then you drink a little bit more and you drive a little bit more, you stop and you dance a little bit more to another juke box! And then you stop dancing and you just drink and you drive. And then, you stop driving.

The Funeral

1996

Johnny Tempi: I would say life is pretty pointless, wouldn't you, without the movies?

Jean: Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Ray Tempio: I'm not ashamed of nothing. I didn't make the world.

Jean: They're criminals, and there's absolutely nothing romantic about it.

Ray: I have no choice. You're never going to forget this.

The Fury

1978

Peter Sandza: Mother Nuckells, I'd appreciate it if you didn't untie 'em until after "M*A*S*H" is over. Mother Nuckells: "M*A*SH"? I won't untie 'em until after "Sunrise Semester".

Peter Sandza: Ask Childress if all this was worth his arm. Bob: What? Did you do something to his arm Peter? Peter Sandza: I killed it. With a machine gun.

The Gambler

1974

Hips: (following the big college basketball game, in which Spencer Lewis has shaved points for the Mafia to pay off Axel's gambling debt) ... Okay, we're in the clear. In fact, you might just have a couple of favors coming your way. Axel Freed: How's that? What do you mean? Hips: What are you, naive? This Lewis kid's got maybe a year or two left before he makes the NBA. You think my friends are gonna let him just slip through their fingers, after a night like this? Axel Freed: He did it for ME. He won't do it again. Hips: Ah, quit lying to yourself. Once you ain't a virgin no more, you're a whore till you die.

Axel Freed: I'm not going to lose it. I'm going to gamble it.

Carmine: The only thing that's standing between your skull and a baseball bat is my word.

The Garden of Allah

1936

Domini Enfilden: What an extraordinary man. Is he mad? Batouch: Yes, he's undoubtedly English.

Boris Androvsky: There are things in a man's life it's best to forget. There are dark places which should be left dark.

Father Roubier: Take care! You've come to a land of fire. And I think you are made of fire.

Count Anteoni: A man who refuses to acknowledge his god is unwise to set foot in the desert.

The Gate of Heavenly Peace

1995

Mao Zedong: Chaos can't harm us; it can only harm our enemies.

Wu Guoguang: The only option for a pure idealist is to commit suicide.

Deborah Amos: To get rich is glorious said the leaders.

Chai Ling: When we saw our classmates there holding our petition with raised arms, everyone cried.

Wang Dan: The crime of counter-revolution is very unusual. What is being punished is not your actions but your intentions.

Hou Dejian: Patriotism and Collectivism are used to make the majority serve the few.

The Gauntlet

1977

(repeated line) Ben Shockley: Nag, nag, nag.

(calmly speaking like a stewardess to the passengers of the hijacked bus, as she is holding a gun) Gus Mally: Sorry for this inconvience, ladies and gentlemen, but at this time, I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave the bus. Please be sure and take all your belongings with you and I promise arrangements will be made for your continued journey as quickly as possable. (Passengers stare at her dumbfounded) Gus Mally: Well? (waves gun and shouts) Gus Mally: HAUL ASS!

Ben Shockley: On a scale of one to ten, I'd have to give her a two, and that's because I haven't seen a one before.

Constable: Them fellers up there are gonna wonder why you bailed out. And I'm gonna tell 'em. You chose sides. Got yourself a little nookie and chose sides.

Blakelock: Now, can you handle it, or do I have to write it out in braille and shove it up your ass?

The Gay Sisters

1942

Charles Barkley: Why don't you use a little common sense? Fiona Gaylord: I hate common sense, it's so common.

Charles Barkley: Fiona, I love you. Fiona Gaylord: I hate you. Charles Barkley: Wouldn't have me if I was the last man on earth, would you? Fiona Gaylord: No. Charles Barkley: Good, we can go somewhere from there. I was afraid you might have grown indifferent to me.

The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show

1950

Gracie Allen: Well, you see one Christmas my father caught a wild turkey and he fed him corn and chestnuts. But then we didn't have the heart to kill him so we let him get away. George Burns: Oh, I see. Gracie Allen: But the turkey liked the food so well that he came back each year. And that way we always had... George Burns: A turkey for Christmas dinner? Gracie Allen: Yes.

George Burns: You see, to be a straight man you have to have a talent, you have to develop this talent, then you gotta marry her like I did.

The George Wendt Show

1995

George: Why would the government be interested in where my father's buried? Fletcher: I've got two words for you: Soylent Green. George: Oh, come on. Fletcher: Hey, because of that movie, I still can't eat them little rice cakes.

Fletcher: Hey, George, I just got a new car the other day. George: Why should I care? Fletcher: Well, for saying that, there's no way you're going to ride. But with your fat ass, you couldn't have anyway!

The Ghost Breakers

1940

Geoff Montgomery: A zombie has no will of his own. You see them sometimes walking around blindly with dead eyes, following orders, not knowing what they do, not caring. Larry Lawrence: You mean like Democrats.

Larry Lawrence: The girls call me Pilgrim, because every time I dance with one I make a little progress.

Larry Lawrence: Pardon me, am I protruding?

Parada: Are you the one advising Miss Carter to sell the castle? Larry Lawrence: No, my advice is keep the castle and sell the ghosts. Parada: I myself have heard of only one ghost: the spirit of Don Santiago. Larry Lawrence: Tell me, does he appear nightly or just Sundays and Holidays?

Larry Lawrence: I'm sorry. I must have had a frog in my throat. Alex: Better than a knife in it.

The Ghost Busters

1975

Chrous: We're the Ghostbusters! Spencer: I'm Spencer/He's Tracy Kong: I'm Kong Chorus: We're the Ghostbusters/We're clever, courageous and strong!

Jake Kong: What are you, mice or men? (Tracy is suddenly holding a big piece of cheese) Will you cut that out?

Jake Kong: (to Spenser) Gimme a pick. Eddie Spenser: (to Tracy) Give him a pick. (Tracy hands Spenser a pick axe, who hands it to Kong) Jake Kong: (to Spenser) A lock pick, you clown! Eddie Spenser: (to Tracy) A lock pick, you clown!

The Ghost Train

1941

Gander: (about a ghost story) As they were pushing the bodies in...

Gander: (about the ghost of Ted Holmes after he trips up) That was his other leg

Gander: Ted Holmes!

Gander (telling a story) : Sizzle Sizzle Sizzle. I found out he'd been dead since Caffin Junction.

Tedding: Will you shut up! Gander: Shut up, sir, Very Good, sir... (gets a cup) If this be a natural thing where do it come from where do it go... (a book is thrown at him)

Station Master: If this be a natural thing where do it come from, where do it go?

Gander: When the train come tearing and a roaring through the station, with its whiskers blowing and it haunted steam up...

Julia: The ghost train never comes back.

Gander: You can't stay 'ere!

The Giant Gila Monster

1959

Sheriff Jeff: Have you heard the reports of a "giant lizard"? Mr Wheeler: Yes, but it's just not possible. Sheriff Jeff: Well, why not? There have been giants before!

Chase Winstead: Where's Pat and Liz? Bob: Maybe their car broke down? Chase Winstead: Hey! I worked on that car myself! Bob: That wouldn't make any difference if he goofed the speed shift or something! Chase Winstead: And that squirrel is just the one that could do it!

The Gift

2000

Buddy: You're the soul of this town, Ms Wilson, and you have to keep doing what you are doing.

Ben: Momma, I want some icing. Annie: You've had icing enough to put you in a coma.

Donnie: She's a witch! She's putting spells on everybody in town!

Donnie: I'm guilty of cheating on my wife, of being a bad husband and a bad Christian.

David: Someone might come in here Jessica: Then you better fuck me fast.

Donnie: I asked her that myself one time. She said I was the only man in town that knew how to fuck. David: You're disgusting.

The Gilded Lily

1935

Peter Dawes: But popcorn - ah, popcorn was made for watching the world go by. Look. I stick my hand in the bag without taking my eyes off the street. I throw some popcorn in my craw. I chew... and I'm still looking. That's what I call class. Marilyn David: Sure. Peanut eaters don't know how to live.

Marilyn David: Pete, you're a smart fellow. What do poor little working girls usually do next? Peter Dawes: Well, they usually drown themselves, one way or the other. Marilyn David: I'll take the other.

Marilyn David: I'm just a freak!

The Girl from U.N.C.L.E.

1966

April Dancer: (April is talking to Mark who is hiding in a tree) Do try to look more like a sycamore won't you?

Mark Slate: Who's the glamour boy? April Dancer: Our competition dear, THRUSH.

Alexander Waverly: Oh, and Mr Slate, whatever you do, don't bungle this. Mark Slate: I'll try not to sir.

Aunt Magda: (explaining her plan to fill the world with lookalike people) Last night, their Sonny kissed our Cher good night.

Mother Muffin: (a gadget has exploded in front of Rodney) Are you alright Rodney? Rodney Babcock: Yes, Mother. Mother Muffin: What a pity. (Mother hits Rodney) Stupid.

The Girls Next Door

2005

(spoken tongue-in-cheek) Holly Madison: I don't get jealous of other girls, because I was... raised in a cloning lab to be the perfect woman for Hugh M. Hefner, so, other than the fact that my I.Q.'s probably a little higher than he would like, I have nothing to worry about.

(the girls are on the floor playing with their dogs) Hugh M. Hefner: Very happy puppies.

The Goldwyn Follies

1938

Oliver Merlin: I'm a producer of movies. I get my wagonloads of poets and dramatists, but I can't buy common sense - I cannot buy humanity! Hazel Dawes: Well, I don't know why, Mr Merlin. There's an awful lot of it. Oliver Merlin: Yes, I know, but the moment I buy it, it turns into something else, usually genius, and it isn't worth a dime. Now, if you could stay just as simple as your are, you'd be invaluable to me. I'll put you on my staff. I'll give you a title, "Miss Humanity". Don't rush, you can finish your ice cream soda.

Danny Beecher: You live near here? Hazel Dawes: Just down the street. Danny Beecher: Oh, that's too bad. I was hoping for a long walk. But maybe you'd like to go exploring? I heard there's an ocean near here and we could sit on the beach and get sunburned. Hazel Dawes: Tonight? Danny Beecher: I'm sorry. With you, it seems like the sun *is* shining.

The Golf Specialist

1930

J. Effingham Bellweather: You know, I've never struck a woman in my life. Mrs Detective: You haven't? J. Effingham Bellweather: Not even my own mother.

J. Effingham Bellweather: Ohhh! Godfrey Daniel!

J. Effingham Bellweather: Don't stand there! Don't you know I'll smite you in the sconce with this truncheon?

J. Effingham Bellweather: (commenting on a dog) That's a beautiful camel you have with you.

The Good Doctor

1978 (TV)

Ivan Ilyitch Cherdyakhov: I must go back and tell him what I think of him. The world must be safe so that men of all nations and creeds, regardless of color or religion, will be free to sneeze on their superiors! It is he who will be humiliated by I!

Ivan Ilyitch Cherdyakhov: What is it? What is it, you ask? You sit there behind your desk and ask what is it? You sit there, in your lofty position as general, and minister of public parks, a member of high standing among the upper class, and ask what is it? You sit there with full knowledge that in this life, there is no equality; that there are those who serve, and those that are served; those who obey, and those that are obeyed; those who bow, and those that are bowed to; that in this life, certain events take place that cause some people to be humiliated, and there are those who are the cause of that humiliation. And still, you ask what is it? General Brasshilov: WHAT IS IT?!

The Governess

1998

Charles Cavendish: I do not feel myself. Mary Blackchurch: Nor do I. But we can be any self we want, can't we?

Henry Cavendish: I stink. I shall bathe in scent for you. Mary Blackchurch: Don't do it for me. Do it for yourself.

Mary Blackchurch: You ask a lot of questions. Henry Cavendish: Then you ask me one. Anything you like. Mary Blackchurch: Why are you really back from Oxford? Henry Cavendish: I was found in an opium den in Spitsfeild with a whore. (both laugh) Henry Cavendish: You don't belive me and your not suprised. Mary Blackchurch: no.

The Granny

1995

Namon Ami: It seems you have a wonderful, loving family. Granny: Ha! The last time I felt anything like love from this family it turned out to be gas.

Albert: I would never tear down this house! I have such fond memories of growing up here. Junior: Really dad, like what? Albert: Like, uh, well, the time I... well, they've escaped me at the moment.

David: Where are your parents? Junior: Who knows, probably somewhere bumping uglies.

David: You drive a hard bargain. Antoinette: Well, I'm not my father's daughter for nothing.

The Grass Is Greener

1960

Charles Delacro: Sometimes I'm convinced that the greatest barrier between our countries is the bond of a common language.

Victor Rhyall, Earl: Well then, so long, be seeing you, as you say in America. Charles Delacro: Cheerio, as you say in Britain.

Victor Rhyall, Earl: Sellers, have you seen my bible? Trevor Sellers, the Butler: I'm afraid I've got it. I wanted to look something up. Victor Rhyall, Earl: First you borrow my times, now you pinch my bible. That's democracy running amok! Trevor Sellers, the Butler: I'm extremely sorry, Mylord. I put it back beside your bed. Victor Rhyall, Earl: Anyway, you should have a bible of your own! Trevor Sellers, the Butler: Well, the one you're using is mine, Mylord.

The Grasshopper and the Ants

1934

Grasshopper: Listen. The Good Book says, "The Lord provides, there's food on every tree." I see no reason to worry and work. No, sir. (spits) Not me.

Grasshopper: You shouldn't soil your Sunday pants, like those other foolish ants. Come on, let's play and sing and dance.

Queen Ant: With ants, only those who work may stay. So take your fiddle. (the grasshopper starts to leave) ... and play!

Westerplatte

1967

Ens. Jan Gryczman: Why are you shaking? You came here to fight!

Sgt. Leonard Piotrowski: This is Major Sucharski. Commandant of Westerplatte. Col Henke: Colonel Henke. Congratulations Major. (salute) Can I ask you why you capitulated? Was it the last assault? Sgt. Leonard Piotrowski: He's asking what has compelled us to surrender... whether it was their last assault? Maj. Henryk Sucharski: No. We repelled the last assault Col Henke: May we visit your stronghold? German Soldier: There they are, the bandits! Col Henke: It was worth to fighting for so long?

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