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Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.

1991

Jughead: Who are you? Sergeant Kabukiman: (looks into camera, then back at Jughead) I'm Kabukiman. (reference to the 1989 version of Batman)

Sergeant Kabukiman: I like a dog-faced monkey that has an appreciation for expensive sports cars.

Lotus: Remove yourself from my body, you filthy oaf!

Female Reporter: How did you feel when you saw rivulets of blood flowing down his beautiful kabuki costume?

Reginald Stuart: It has begun! My time has come!

Sergeant Kabukiman: I was depressed, I was confused and I was turning Japanese.

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Shack Out on 101

1955

Prof. Sam Bastion: Slob's got an eight cylinder body and a 2 cylinder mind.

(While in a passionate embrace) Prof. Sam Bastion: Will you tell me something? Kotty: Anything, Sam, anything. Prof. Sam Bastion: What are the first amendments to the Constitution called? Kotty: The Bill of Rights. Prof. Sam Bastion: That's right. What form of government is this? Kotty: The best!

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Shadow of the Thin Man

1941

Nora Charles: He's getting more like his father everyday. Estrellita: He sure is. This morning he was playing with a corkscrew.

Nick Charles: Nicky, something tells me that something important is happening somewhere and I think we should be there. (cut to Nora with a cocktail shaker)

Nora Charles, Molly: Follow that cab! Cab Driver: Okay! (drives off after cab, leaving Nora and Molly on sidewalk)

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Shadow on the Land

1968 (TV)

Gen Hempstead: Davis was an Army man. As such he belongs to me, and I demand... ! Gen Wendell Bruce: YOU DEMAND? Well, let me remind you that the Internal Security Forces SUPERSEDE the Army! Why, I could have your resignation so fast you'd wonder what fell on you. 'You demand'! Gen Hempstead: I apologize for what was perhaps a bad choice of phrase. But I *request* some explanation!

Rev. Thomas Davis: I render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's.

Maj. Shepherd McCloud: I want to introduce you to a corpse.

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Shadow Warrior

1997 (VG)

Lo Wang: (after slicing a guy up with his sword) You have a split personality.

Horny Old Lady: Why does Thinking about sex make me wanna crap?

Lo Wang: (to old lady) Lady someone beat you with ugly stick!

Lo Wang: (to naked lady) Are those real tits?

Lo Wang: (to naked lady) Do you want to wash Wang or do you want to watch Wang wash Wang?

Lo Wang: Oh damn I'm running into walls now!

Lo Wang: Lo Wang rather kick ass then solve stupid puzzle.

Lo Wang: The entire rap is ri-gaw-damn ridiculous

Lo Wang: (after looking at something broken) Ooh, must be American made!

Lo Wang: (to naked lady defecating on a toilet) Hey baby! Pull my finger! Hahaha!

Lo Wang: (to naked lady defecating on a toilet) Hoooo! What you eat anyway, baby?

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Shadows and Fog

1992

Clown: I never go with whores. You start out with a burning desire and you end up next morning with a burning sensation.

Clown: We're not like other people, we're artists, you know with great talent comes responsibility.

Irmy: I slept with one person for money. Does that makes me a whore? Kleinmann: No, only by the dictionary definition.

Prostitute: The only love that lasts is unrequited love.

Kleinmann: I can't even make a leap of faith to believe in my own existence

Kleinmann: I've never paid for sex in my life. Prostitute: You just think you haven't.

Kleinman: A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.

Kleinman: I don't know enough to be incompetent.

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Shakespeare: The Animated Tales

1992 (mini)

Iago, Othello's Ancient: I have told thee oft, I hate the Moor! If thoust can cuckold him, thou dost provide thee a pleasure, and me a sport.

Mark Anthony: Now let it work. Malice, thou art afoot.

Richard III: Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by this son of York. But I that am deformed have no delight to pass away the time. And therefore since I cannot prove a lover, I am determined to prove a villain.

Mercutio: Tybalt, you ratcatcher! Will you walk? Tybalt: I am for you! (they fight)

Richard III: Would'st thou resolve to kill a friend of mine? Sir James Tyrell: So please you, sir, but I'd rather kill two enemies. Richard III: Then you have two deep enemies. Tyrell, I mean those bastards in the tower.

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Shakti

1982

DCP Ashwini Kumar: (answering ransom demand over the phone) Yeshwant is a criminal, and I am a police officer... I cannot let him go. K. D. Narang: Do you understand what this could mean? DCP Ashwini Kumar: Yes... I understand that right now my son's life is in your hands... (conflicted pause) Kill him. Kill him. You can kill him, but I won't misuse my badge. No matter what you do, do you guys hear me? No matter what you do I will never violate my duty, ever.

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Shangani Patrol

1970

Dr Leander Starr Jameson: See to it, gentlemen.

Burnham: Where I come from, if a man wears feathers in his hair, it always means trouble.

Major Allan Wilson: He says they ALSO have weapons, sir.

Burnham: Good thinkin', Chief. Musn't dirty the water.

Major Allan Wilson: (angrily hopping around on one foot and looking like an idiot in front of the men) About the one thing you knew would get my goat! Burnham: Goat? (sees Wilson's problem) Sure you don't mean your boot?

Major Forbes: (gibbering in fear behind a rock) The sooner we're back in Bulawayo again, the better!

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Shark rosso nell'oceano

1984

Professor West: For a woman who has the sensitivity of a slut... to the point of giving her lover the identical watch she gave to her husband as an anniversary present, I will not accept lessons.

(trying to record the Devil Fish's cry) Dr Bob Hogan: You filthy rotten bloody shark, LET ME HEAR YOU!

Dr Bob Hogan: He'd sit on his mother's head if he had something to gain by it.

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Sharpe's Battle

1995 (TV)

Loup: No more of my men will die in this god forsaken place. Richard Sharpe: They will if I find them.

Wellington: Give the puppets Richard Sharpe.

(Perkins is badly wounded) Perkins: (sobs) Sorry, Sarge! Patrick Harper: You're gonna be all right, lad. Perkins: Dan! Dan! Give me a tune, Dan! Hagman: (sings) O'er the hills, and o'er the main, to Flanders, Portugal and Spain, King George commands and we obey... Perkins: (sobs) Mother! Patrick Harper: She's with ya, lad! Mothers never leave you! Perkins: (sobbing) I'm sorry, Sarge... (he dies) Patrick Harper: Oh, my God... Oh, my God... Nobody touches O'Rourke! That bastard's mine!

Cooper: (after a group of French cavalry escapes due to one spotting Cooper's hiding place) Hundreds of bloody bushes and he had to piss in mine!

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Sharpe's Sword

1995 (TV)

(Harper is wounded) Patrick Harper: Am I going to die this time, Father? Father Curtis: Yes, my son. Have you any last wishes? Patrick Harper: I wish I'd married Ramona, Father. Father Curtis: I can grant you that before you go. Quickly, now. Do you Patrick Harper take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife? Say "I do!" Patrick Harper: I do. Father Curtis: Do you Ramona Gonzales take this man to be your lawful wedded husband? Say "I do!" Ramona: I do. Father Curtis: I now pronounce you man and wife. Now, get up and kiss the bride. Patrick Harper: I thought you said I was going to die, Father! Father Curtis: Sure, we're ALL going to die, Patrick.

Richard Sharpe: Take my advice, Harris. When you get home, write a bloody good book with loads of shooting in it. You'll die a rich man.

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Shazam!

1974

(Opening title narration) Narrator: Chosen from among all others by the immortal elders - SOLOMON, HERCULES, ATLAS, ZEUS, ACHILLES, MERCURY - Billy Batson and his mentor travel the highways and byways of the land on a never ending mission: to right wrongs, to develop understanding, and to seek justice for all! In time of dire need, young Billy has been granted the power by the immortals to summon awesome forces at the utterance of a single word! Billy Batson: SHAZAM! Narrator: A word which transforms him, in a flash, into the mightiest of mortal beings, CAPTAIN MARVEL!

(repeated line) Captain Marvel: By the Elders!

(repeated line) Billy Batson: Oh, Elders, fleet and strong and wise, appear before my seeking eyes!

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She Done Him Wrong

1933

Lady Lou: Hello there, warm, dark and handsome.

Lady Lou: Why don't you come up some time and see me?

Lady Lou: Diamonds is my career.

Lady Lou: It was a toss up between whether I go in for diamonds or sing in the choir. The choir lost.

Lady Lou: When women go wrong, men go right after them.

Captain Cummings: Haven't you ever met a man who could make you happy? Lady Lou: Sure, lots of times.

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She Gets Her Man

1945

Officer Mulligan: I'll be hovering over you like a hawk. Jane 'Pilky' Pilkington: I'm glad you didn't say buzzard.

(at a press conference) Jane 'Pilky' Pilkington: That was a very intelligent question. Has anybody got any stupid ones?

(the killer has invited the police to a club to witness Pilky's murder) Waldron: Good evening, Miss Pilkington. It's so nice to have you with us... for a while.

(bumping into a proproom skeleton) Officer Mulligan: Oh, another crooner.

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Shell Game

1975 (TV)

Stoker Frye: Did you really take a fall in Florida? Max Castle: Yeah, for something I didn't do! Stoker Frye: Hey... Max Castle: Hey, would I lie about something like that? Stoker Frye: Yes you would... but not to me.

Max Castle: Mr Carson, this is lovely country and it's a pleasure meeting you, but is there any gold in that mine? Tim Carson: Do you want the truth? Max Castle: Preferably. Tim Carson: There's not enough gold in that mine to fill your teeth.

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Sherlock Holmes and the House of Fear

1945

Sherlock Holmes: Murder is an insidious thing. Once a man has dipped his fingers in blood, sooner or later he'll feel the urge to kill again.

Sherlock Holmes: This is a most unique case. Instead of too few we have too many clues and too many suspects. The Main pattern of the puzzle seems to be forming, but the pieces don't fit in. Dr John H. Watson: Muddy waters, eh, Holmes? Sherlock Holmes: Too muddy. As if someone were constantly stirring them up. Dr John H. Watson: Why should they stir them up? Sherlock Holmes: To confuse me. There's intelligence behind this business, Watson. Cold, calculating, ruthless intelligence.

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Sherlock Holmes and the Secret Weapon

1943

Professor Moriarty: Brilliant man, Sherlock Holmes, too bad he was honest.

Professor Moriarty: The needle to the last, eh, Holmes?

Sherlock Holmes: ... I must confess I shied at the thought of disemboweling a complete set of Charles Dickens.

Professor Moriarty: Drop by drop, Holmes. In a way I'm almost sorry for you; you were a stimulating influence for me. Sherlock Holmes: I shall be conscious long after you're dead, Moriarty.

Dr John H. Watson: Things are looking up, Holmes. This little Island's still on the map. Sherlock Holmes: Yes. "This fortress - built by nature for herself; This blessed plot, this Earth, this realm, this England."

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She's Having a Baby

1988

Jefferson "Jake" Edward Briggs: College is like high school with ashtrays.

Davis McDonald: You're the only one I ever loved. Kristen "Kristy" Briggs: No, Davis. You're the only one you ever loved.

(Jake's job interview) Howard: How do you feel about slave wages? Jefferson "Jake" Edward Briggs: Slave wages are okay. Russ Bainbridge: How do you feel about alcoholics? Jefferson "Jake" Edward Briggs: Um, I like alcoholics?

Harry: Dashiel (Suggesting a name for the baby! His real life son's name!)

Fantasy Girl: If you're still in love with her, how come you're here with me?

Jefferson "Jake" Edward Briggs: Wh... why do you... why do you think I'm nervous? Fantasy Girl: Because you don't know what you want.

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She's So Lovely

1997

Shorty: Nobody brought a piece. It's not that kind of an evening.

Jeanie: Hey Daddy, what are you doing? Joey: Shut up and drink your beer!

Eddie: We were made for each other. We're both banged up.

Eddie: Can you type 170 words a minute? Can you sew? Can you dance? What can you do?

(While smoking a cigarette) Joey: We quit smoking together.

Eddie: Do you have hair on your nails?

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She's Working Her Way Through College

1952

Prof. John Palmer: I don't know what there is about the pelts of dead little animals that makes 'em so attractive to women, when one little mouse scares 'em silly.

Prof. John Palmer: I thought we'd cleared these parts of all wildlife. Angela Gardner: Wolves with crew haircuts. One senior, one sophomore. Prof. John Palmer: Ah, the campus variety. Known scientifically as Lupus boola-boola.

Don Weston: Why d'you eat that rabbit food? You oughta have something solid. Angela Gardner: I've got to watch my figure. Don Weston: You eat. Let me watch it.

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Shiloh

1996

Mr Preston: Don't ever run away from a problem.

Doc Wallace: Sometimes the biggest test of love is how much you're willing to fight for it.

Doc Wallace: It was our love for Sam that gave us our strength. We would've sacrificed everything to keep her. You see, sometimes the greatest test of love is how much you are willing to fight for it. You think about that.

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Shjo kakumei Utena

1997

Shiori Takatsuki: (repeated line) Believe in miracles and they will know your feelings.

Mitsuru Tsuwabuki: (holding a banana and talking about Nanami) As long as she eats this, I'm satisfied. Mari Hozumi: (slap) That's gross!

(repeated line) Touga Kiryuu: If it cannot hatch from its shell, the chick will die without ever truly being born. We are the chick; the world is our egg. If we don't break the world's shell, we will die without truly being born. Smash the world's shell, for the Revolution of the World.

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Shopgirl

2005

Jeremy Kraft: I'm an okay guy, by the way.

Mirabelle: Are you the kind of person that takes time to get to know, and then once to get to know them... they're fabulous? Jeremy Kraft: Yes, absolutely. ... What?

Mirabelle: So, I can hurt now, or hurt later.

Jeremy Kraft: I've been reading a lot of books on tape...

Jeremy Kraft: (walking away from his car, he pretends he has automatic locks) Chirp-chirp.

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Shorties Watchin' Shorties

2004

Baby Patrice: Hey man, with a pee-pee like this, how can I be a woman?

Baby Nick: Hey, what's a vagina? Baby Patrice: You don't know what a vagina is? Baby Nick: Of course I do! I was just testin' you! Baby Patrice: Man, I've got a great vagina! Baby Nick: Are you kiddin'? My vagina's bigger than yours! Baby Patrice: Yeah right, man.

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A Shot in the Pink

1995 (V)

Inspector Clitsoe: There will be no honor for you here tonight!

Inspector Clitsoe: You are NO MATCH for the great Inspector Clitsoe!

Inspector Clitsoe: Oh yes! This is so good! Oh! Coming!

Inspector Clitsoe: Oh YES my love!

Inspector Clitsoe: It is I, the great Inspector Clitsoe!

Inspector Clitsoe: Not a clue!

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Show Biz Bugs

1957

Daffy Duck: Try not to trip me up with those big feet please. Bugs Bunny: I'll try Daffy.

Daffy Duck: (screaming) WHAT? That rabbit's name over mine? I'm the star. I'll just see about this.

Daffy Duck: There can only be one explanation for white tile in a dressing room. (turns over sign on door; it reads "MEN") And that's it.

Daffy Duck: (booby-trapping Bugs' xylophone) When he strikes this note, instead of a xylophone, he'll be playing a harp.

(Daffy has blown himself up for a grand finale; the audience cheers) Bugs Bunny: That's terrific, Daffy! They loved it. They want more. Daffy Duck: (a ghost rising to heaven) I know, I know, but I can only do it once.

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Sidekicks

1992

Barry: Nobody likes me. Why would he?

Master Stone: Chuck Norris? Chuck Norris? He doesn't compete anymore kid, and the main reason, one of the main reasons he doesn't compete anymore is me. He doesn't compete 'cause I would kick his ass.

Barry: Milk. Kelly Stone: (loud laughter) Want some cookies?

Mr Lee: I have something for you. (takes off Barry's shirt)

Jerry Gabrewski: My son has asthma!

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Sidewalks of New York

2001

Gio/Harry: When are you gonna start thinking rock star, and acting rock star?

Griffin: You have the look of the new millennium.

Carpo: I'm going to tell you something, I'm speaking from experience here. I am about the biggest dog there is. But it is not a good idea to fool around with married women. It's bad karma, kid.

Carpo: I'm going to tell you something. I'm going to talk to you like a son. Chicks don't brush guys off. Guys brush chicks off. It's just the way it works, Tommy.

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Signora senza camelie, La

1953

Ercole: Ouch! You've made me prick myself.

Ercole: The latest thing is sex, religion and politics.

Gianni Franchi: What swine, all of them! But my time will come.

Clara Manni: Getting married to Gianni was like getting married in a film.

Clara Manni: I was thinking of eternal love, all he wanted was an affair with a film star. And he got it.

Clara Manni: I'm desperate. I have nothing left, and I'm only 22.

Film Extra: There's Clara Manni! She's beautiful, if only she could act, too.

Actress in Arab Costume: It's a matter of principle. Actor in Arab Costume: What do you care?

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Silent Hunter

1995

Max: What did you want to be when you were that age? Jim Paradine: I wanted to be Batman. Max: Batman? Even then you wanted to be a crimefighter. Jim Paradine: Nah, I just wanted to be in the Justice League so I could hang out with Superman, Green Lantern, and the Flash.

Jim Paradine: I figure we're not supposed to make it better. We're just supposed to keep it from getting worse. Max: Then, who makes it better? Jim Paradine: Well, they do. Their values, I think, are going to shape the country. We just gotta teach them good values before the bad guys teach them bad values.

Jim Paradine: Sweetheart, what about tomorrow? And the day after that? And the day after that?

Jim Parandine: Lately I've been having a hard time turning off being a cop.

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Silent Running

1972

Anderson: On this first day of a new century we humbly beg forgiveness and dedicate these last forests of our once beautiful nation to the hope that they will one day return and grace our foul earth. Until that day may God bless these gardens and the brave men who care for them.

Freeman Lowell: It calls back a time when there were flowers all over the Earth... and there were valleys. And there were plains of tall green grass that you could lie down in - you could go to sleep in. And there were blue skies, and there was fresh air... and there were things growing all over the place, not just in some domed enclosures blasted some millions of miles out in to space.

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Simon and Garfunkel: The Concert in Central Park

1982 (TV)

Paul Simon: Well is great to do a neighborhood concert. I hope everyone can hear us. I hope that the sound is good. I hope we are blasting Central Park West and Fifth avenue pretty much away. I just want to thank the police department and the fire department and the parks commissioner, and Ed Koch. (Audience boos, garfunkel laughs) And Particularly, you know, people that never get recognized for doing good things for the city, a group of people that have donated half of the proceeds that they're making tonight, the guys who are selling loose joints are giving the city half of their income tonight. (Simon laughs, starts to play "America")

Paul Simon: Well, you know we wanted to have fireworks tonight, but ah, they wouldn't let us have that, so we'll make our own fireworks here.

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Simon Sez

1999

Ashton: Remove them! It's a bridge, for god's sake; not a petting zoo!

Simon: A potato? Nick Miranda: Yeah! Simon: You gagged her with a POTATO? Nick Miranda: I tried grapes but she kept eating them!

Ashton: Now, feel free to jump in if I get any of this wrong, but you haven't got the disc, and you haven't got the girl... (Silence) ... Pity. I was so hoping you'd jump in.

Ashton: Guess what we're going to blow up first! Simon: Your ego? Ashton: No, but nice try, sailor! The Eiffel Tower! Simon: Why? Ashton: Because it's big and it's beautiful and I'm tired of looking at it!

Ashton: Stupid bee! You're just a fly with a stinger on your arse!

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Simple Men

1992

Ned Riffle: I want adventure. I want romance. Bill McCabe: Ned, there is no such thing as adventure. There's no such thing as romance. There's only trouble and desire. Ned Riffle: Trouble and desire. Bill McCabe: That's right. And the funny thing is, when you desire something you immediately get into trouble. And when you're in trouble you don't desire anything at all. Ned Riffle: I see. Bill McCabe: It's impossible. Ned Riffle: It's ironic. Bill McCabe: It's a fucking tragedy is what it is, Ned.

Ned: What is that thing? Bill: That's the Blessed Virgin, Ned. Ned: She's pretty, huh? Bill: Not only is she pretty, but she's got a nice personality, and she's the mother of God.

Sheriff: Why do women exist?

Ned: Nothing like a machine to make a man feel insignificant.

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Sing, Cowboy, Sing

1937

Kalmus: By the way, what brings you to Tonto? Tex Archer: Well... Duke Evans: We're-we're looking for work. Done some entertainin' in our time and folks say not bad... I'm considered the best mandolin picker in Arizona and Tex here, he hits mighty few sour notes on the vocal chords.

Red Holman: That's your trouble, fella. You're meddlin' in the wrong business. Tex Archer: What do you mean? Red Holman: I mean, you're playing both ends from the middle and you can't do it around here. This place ain't big enough for you and me, so you better get rollin'. Tex Archer: And suppose I don't get rollin'? Red Holman: You will... 'cause I got you figured right. You're yellow! (Red punches Tex in the jaw, a barroom brawl ensues and Tex knocks Red out)

Red Holman: I startin' something and I'm going to finish it - tonight! The sun will never rise on that hombre.

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Sing Your Way Home

1945

Steve Kimball: You take a bunch of boys and a bunch of girls... together... fooling around, and the first thing you know you've got... well, uh, you've got... complications.

Steve Kimball: If you were any judge of character, Miss Lawrence, you would see in me all the elements of a very nice person. Kay Lawrence: Well, why don't you let him out for a little air once in a while?

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Sir Henry at Rawlinson End

1980

Sir Henry: Generally speaking, if I've eaten something I don't want to see it again.

Sir Henry: I never met a man I didn't mutilate.

Sir Henry: If I had all the money I'd spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink.

Sir Henry: If a thing is worth doing, it is worth forcing someone else to do it.

(Playing cards.) Florrie: My dear Henry, if dirty fingers were trumps, what a splendid hand you'd have.

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Sis Hopkins

1941

Horace Hopkins: I know my bathrooms!

Sis Hopkins: You're tellin' I! Ripple: Your syntax is irregular. Sis Hopkins: (examing herself) Where?

(on arriving at her uncle's mansion) Sis Hopkins: Why, it couldn't be purtier if it were a gas station.

(Carol tells Sis that's she'll be initiated into a sorority) Carol Hopkins: But you mustn't tell a soul. Sis Hopkins: I'll be a real dummy. Carol Hopkins: You're tellin' I.

(arising from a bubble bath in a full-length bathing suit) Professor: The Hays Office made me do it.

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Sketch Pad

2001

Kevin MacDonald: It was a little movie called Citizen Kane, Citizen Kane, IT WAS CITIZEN KANE! (pause) Dave Foley: Well, big fuckin' deal!

Woman: Are you going to a costume party or something? Captain Apathy: No, I'm a superhero. Woman: You mean like Superman? Captain Apathy: I'm Captain Apathy. I have all the powers of a superhero but absolutely no will to use them. Woman: Well, that pisses me off, because I was brutally attacked here just last week. Captain Apathy: Yeah, I saw that...

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Skunk Ape!?

2003

Crime Dog: Come on, Skunk Ape, there are some EMO kids we gotta take care of. To the Suburbs!

Scab: I would deal with that Skunk Ape the same way I deal with Hippies. Charles: And how do you do that? Scab: (shouts) Harpoon!

Upperclass White Male: As an average upperclass white male who lives in the suburbs, I can clearly say that I have never seen a Skunk Ape.

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Slasher

2004 (TV)

(on the phone with his wife) Michael Bennett a.k.a. The Slasher: Okay, honey, I'll try to drink more orange juice instead of beer in the morning.

Michael Bennett a.k.a. The Slasher: All right, its beer thirty.

Terry (Inventory Manager) : "Slasher". That looks like some blood gonna be in that, don't it? You know, like Jason.

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Slaughterhouse

1987

Buddy Bacon: (finding a pile of dismembered corpses) My God, boy, what have you done? Why... why? You mean they were messin' with your pigs? Jesus Christ, boy, you cant just slaughter people 'cause they were messin' with your hogs! Now we're in a heap of trouble. Ah, shit... I buy you a new drum-bunker cleaver for your birthday, and *this* is how you repay me? Sometimes you really piss me off. At least you made good, clean cuts.

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Slayers Next

1996

Xellos: *That* is a secret.

Gaav, the Demon Dragon King: I *HATE* people who hypocritically brandish Justice all over the place. Now BE GONE.

Gourry Gabriev: (after being freed from posession and attacking Lina) Huh, whats going on? Oh hi Lina, what are you doing? Lina Inverse: (Imitating Gourry) Hi Lina, (Charging for a blow) MY ASS! (Hits Gourry Very Hard)

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Slayers

1995

Lina Inverse: Darkness beyond twilight Crimson beyond blood that flows Buried in the stream of time Is where your power grows I pledge myself to conquor All the foes who stand Before the mighty gift bestowed In my unworthy hand Let the fools who stand before us be destroyed by the power you and I possess... DRAGON SLAVE!

Amelia: I landed on the guy I wanted to save!

Lina Inverse: Well... ? Sylvia: Um... well... you see... Lina Inverse: "Um... well... you see... " MY ASS! YOU'VE LED US RIGHT INTO A DEAD END!

Gourry Gabriev: (as the Dragon Fang gang closes in on a solitary Lina, Gourry suddenly appears) Stop right there! Member of the Dragon Fang gang: Who - who are you? Gourry Gabriev: (pauses to strike a heroic pose) If I gave you my name, you'd only get it dirty.

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Sleeping with the Enemy

1991

Martin: I can't live without you. And I won't let you live without me.

Laura: (on phone, with gun aimed at Martin) Police? Come quickly. I've just shot an intruder.

Martin: I remember the time you ran off and tried to leave me. Need I remind you how worried I was about you? Laura: No. You reminded me enough the night you brought me back here. Martin: You're not suggesting I enjoyed that, are you? Laura: Oh, God, no. That would make you a monster.

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Slingshot

2005

Tracey: You're not some kind of child molester, are you? Ash: If I was a child molester, would I tell you? Tracey: (ponders this a beat) Good point.

Tracey: You're not some kind of child molester, are you? Ash: If I was a child molester, would I tell you about it? Tracey: (ponders a beat) Good point.

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A Slipping-Down Life

1999

Evie Decker: Did you ever feel like it wouldn't matter if you lived or died? Violet: Pardon? Evie Decker: How you could just disappear, and no one would notice.

Drumstrings Casey: I feel like I just hit my peak and past it. Like I'm just waiting to grow old.

Drumstrings Casey: Its like meeting up with your own face somewhere, you know like in a dream?

Drumstrings Casey: You think your invisible, but I see you. You break, you bend. You dissappear, and everybody here stairs. Maybe you should just go farther.

Drumstrings Casey: You don't live in Virinia, you die here. But I'm getting out.

Violet: That's a diaper pin in her ear!

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Sluzhili dva tovarishcha

1968

Colonel: Comrades, what is Crimea? Nothing, a little spot. I can close it with my palm on the map. But of course only a very stupid fool can say anything like that.

Alexandra: Is this you? Alexander Brusentsov: That's a stupid question. More stupid can only be an answer: yes, it's me.

(Karyakin and Nekrasov are about to be mistakenly executed) Army Commander: What's going on? Ivan Karyakin: We're being executed! Army Commander: The execution is canceled! Soldier: We don't mind. Andrei Nekrasov: We mind even less.

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Smallpox 2002: Silent Weapon

2002 (TV)

Kathleen O'Reilly: We used to believe that the greatest threat to the United States were the nuclear arsenals of a rogue state, but in this world today, a terrorist with the will to sacrifice his own life, armed only with a penknife and a pilot's license, is capable of anything... The greatest threat, as we now know, is a single individual with a $50 chemistry set and the will to decimate the planet.

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Smartest Girl in Town

1936

Young model: What's the matter with her? She's too ritzy for chili? Gwen: I don't know, maybe it's too chilly for the Ritz.

Dick Smith: All right if I smoke now? Frances 'Cookie' Cooke: Go ahead, if you think you're so hot.

Dick Smith: Glad to know you. My name's Smith. Gwen: I knew there was something different about you. Dick Smith: I'll let you in on a secret. I use Honeysuckle Mouthwash, that kissable preparation. Gwen: What an optimist.

Gwen: Well, that's all for today, Sonny. You can either go through the door or the window. 'Course, the window has its points. You get a little glimpse of the Hudson as you pass the 39th floor.

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Smultronstllet

1957

Sten Alman: Me and my wife are dependent on each other. It is out of selfish reasons we haven't beaten each other to death a long time ago.

Sara: Good-bye, father Isak. Can't you see you're the one I love? Today, tomorrow and forever Isak Borg: I'll keep that in mind

Teacher in dream: Would you please diagnose this patient, professor Borg? Isak Borg: But, this patient is dead. (the patient bursts into laughter)

Professor Isak Borg: If I have been feeling worried or sad during the day, I have a habit of recalling scenes from childhood to calm me. So it was this evening.

Isak Borg: (under his breath, while preparing for his journey) Honorary Doctor! They might as well appoint me Honorary Idiot.

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Snake River Desperados

1951

(Smiley's off-tune trumpet playing annoys his fellow passenger) Jason Fox: Do you have to do that? Smiley: No, I'm not getting paid for it, if that's what you mean... but I'm just practicing. You know what they say about practice - practice makes perfect. Say, I wish you could hear the Smiley Burnette Silver Cornet Band. We can really play, I mean. I been all the way back to Indianapolis Indianapus to get us some uniforms. Here, just look at that. (he pulls out a band hat) Boy, ain't that like downtown? Ain't that ritzy? Oh, I forgot, I was going to quit talking, wasn't I, so you could get some sleep. (starts playing his trumpet loudly and off-key)

(with Steve Reynolds help, the stagecoach fends off an "Indian" attack) Steve Reynolds: Anybody hurt? Smiley: Well, hurt's hardly the word for it. He's dead!

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Sneak Previews

1978

Michael Medved: (during their "Best of 1994" show) There is one movie that we haven't mentioned that's on neither of our lists and that's Pulp Fiction, probably one of the most popular and most discussed films of the year. Michael Medved: I hated it! I hated every frame of it! Michael Medved: Well, I won't say that I hated every frame of it. I mean, Bruce Willis and John Travolta have never been so mediocre, but I found it just rampagingly mediocre. But that's enough about Pulp Fiction, let's get to one of the films on my ten best list The Swan Princess.

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Sniper 3

2004 (V)

Beckett: Different kinds. Whenever I kill a man it's because he needs killing. I take a look at his life and if it adds up to nothing I take him out. You got to liking it.

Beckett: Best damn rifle ever made.

Paul Finnegan: Everyday, I watch this world descend into hell. I'm just trying to find a nice comfortable seat with a nice view.

Beckett: What the fuck are you looking at?

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Snoopy Come Home

1972

Charlie Brown: I'm depressed, Linus. I need an encouraging word to cheer me up. Linus: Happiness lies in our destiny like a cloudless sky before the storms of tomorrow destroy the dreams of yesterday and last week. Charlie Brown: I think that blanket is doing something to you.

Lucy: Oh, no! Not on Pacific! With hotels? Schroeder: Pay me twelve hundred and seventy-five dollars, please. Lucy: Schroeder... Schroeder... how about a beep on the nose? Schroeder: A what? Lucy: BEEP. A beep on the nose is a sign of great affection. Schroeder: I'd rather have the twelve hundred and seventy-five dollars, please. PAY UP!

Charlie Brown: You know what I need? I need more 'hello's'.

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Snow White

1988

Evil Queen: If you have lovely hair, you may want a comb in there. Painted bright, mother-of-pearl, just the thing for a lovely girl.

Evil Queen: A-ha! The poison cookbook!

Snow White as a child: I just wanted to look.

Snow White: I've seen that comb somewhere before! Evil Queen: And you'll never see it again!

Prince: I shall spend the rest of my life in mourning for her.

Evil Queen: This time I'll take care of her myself!

Iddy: It was the queen! Snow White: But she looked nothing like the last time.

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Snowbeast

1977 (TV)

Ski Champion Gar Seberg: I quit being a skier in 1968 because the other skiers were mavericks!

Sheriff Paraday: I understand she was a guest at your ski lodge. I was hoping you could help me idenify her. Tony Rill: I must have seen her somewhere. Maybe I will recognize her when I see her face. Sheriff Paraday: She does not have one.

Gar Seberg: Ellen, you where right. Coming up here was a dumb idea. Ellen Seberg: I never said it was a dumb idea. I just thought you might feel better getting a job outside the ski business. Gar Seberg: This is all I know how to do. Ellen Seberg: You know what I think, Gar? You really don't want a job. This is just some damn excuse to back off and still feel right about it!

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So Dark the Night

1946

(encouraging Nanette to make a play for the much older, but well-to-do, Henri) Mama Michaud: Love has its place -- but it puts no butter on the table.

Nanette Michaud: Leon thinks only of his farm. But we, we could have a wonderful time in Paris, you and I.

Pierre Michaud: A man your age isn't meant for marriage.

Henri Cassin: I knew it was too good to be true. That much happiness just wasn't meant for me.

Henri Cassin: Henri Cassin is no more. I caught him. I killed him.

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So Graham Norton

1998

Himself: Roses are red, violets are blue / I can't write poems, but I've been told I've many other good qualities.

Himself: You sort of shocked Elvis in a way. Herself: I did. I did. I did. I did. That man loved to eat, I'm telling you. He could eat a plate of chicken-fried steak this big, but there was one thing Elvis wouldn't eat.

Himself : Bringing the show to the U.S., they said I might want to get a bit of American in me. Huh, won't be the first time.

Himself: Yes, Boy George... just what England needs: another queen who can't dress.

Himself : Don't bother phoning, we're sorry already.

Himself : They told me that I could do anything I wanted on the show, so, uh, hey, later on I'll be having sex with one of these three dirty German girls.

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So Little Time

2001

Larry: Hey, guys. What are you doing? Riley: Hey. We're just looking for some jobs. Larry: (Laughs) Seriously, what are you doing?

Jake: Chloe, the air pressure in the tyres is fine. Chloe: Are they, Mr Know-It-All? Well, perhaps you can tell me what the exact pressure of each tyre should be! Jake: Perhaps you can tell me where you come from!

Riley: There's a lot of very important decisions into buying a car. So we have to approach it as mature, responsible adults. Chloe: This one goes really fast! Riley: OK, so what do you think of my branding plate? "Too Cute" or "Way Too Cute"?

Manuelo: You know, I've never worn a thong underwear before. And I'll tell you something... I don't hate it!

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Sock-a-Bye Baby

1942

Larry: Hey, what do kids eat? Moe: What do kids eat? That's easy. Soft stuff; no bones, no potato chips. What did you eat when you were a baby? Curly: Weeds.

Curly: Gee, I wonder what I looked like when I was a baby and the stork delivered me. Moe: When you were a baby, the buzzard brought you! Curly: Oh, special delivery, eh?

(trying to eat an artichoke) Curly: I'd like to meet the guy who invented these barbed-wire pineapples!

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Skarna

1993

Ray Lopez: Fram med cashen din jvla fettsck!

Marcella: Ska vi dra till hennes? Dom har vrsta sta trosorna dr! Helen: Ne.. Gurra: Dom har *vrsta* sta trosorna dr, vi drar dit ba! Marcella: Och var fick du luft ifrn d din jvla svennebg? Jocke: Passa dig din lilla fitta innan jag slr in pannbenet p dig! Vem fan tror du att du snackar med? Marcella: Du ser ju inte ut att ha nn stake iallafall din jvla tnt. Jocke: Vafan tror du din lilla fitta? Gurra : hh, nrd!:

Jocke's Mother: Ahh, Jockeponken, ska du ha en nupping? Jocke: Ne, det r bra tack. Jocke's Mother: Det vrmer i hela kroppen!

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Solyaris

1972

Dr Sartorius: Man was created by Nature in order to explore it. As he approaches Truth he is fated to Knowledge. All the rest is bullshit.

Hari: I have a feeling someone's deceiving us.

Dr Snaut: We don't want to conquer space at all. We want to expand Earth endlessly. We don't want other worlds; we want a mirror. We seek contact and will never achieve it. We are in the foolish position of a man striving for a goal he fears and doesn't want. Man needs man!

Kris Kelvin: You mean more to me than any scientific truth.

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Someone to Watch Over Me

1987

(first lines) Det. Mike Keegan: Hey! We got food back there, you know; all right? Hey, thanks for comin' - good to see ya. Come on in, get a drink. T.J.- T.J.: Yeah? Det. Mike Keegan: Set 'em up with a drink.

(last lines) Det. Mike Keegan: I want to come home. Ellie Keegan: God... Det. Mike Keegan: I do love ya, Ellie. Ellie Keegan: I love you, too, Michael.

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Something Big

1971

(examining corpse) Colonel Morgan: Well, I'd say he looks healthier than the last time I saw him. Junior Frisbee: How can he look healthier when he's dead? Colonel Morgan: It must agree with him.

Colonel Morgan: What about your friend there? Do you want to bury him? Jonny Cobb: No. Maybe something will come out of the hills tonight and drag him off.

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When the Bough Breaks

1993

Audrey Macleah: Well, it seems to me that you don't have a crime scene. And, you don't have any identifiable remains unless you make some assumptions. Now, in order to go forward and profile a suspect, you need a victimology. I mean, without that as a base you really don't have anything, do you?

Dr Douglas Eben: (smiling) Let me see your hand.

Audrey Macleah: Fuck you! Dr Douglas Eben: That's not what I had in mind.

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