Fantozzi

Ugo Fantozzi: (Fantozzi and Silvani are in a posh Japanese restaurant) I didn't mean to kill your dog! I'll kill myself in the fish pond! (jumps in) Signorina Silvani: What are you doing? Ugo Fantozzi: I'm examining the temperature of the fish pond. Ugo Fantozzi: (acting like the messiah) Behold, all of you. I have given you fish (holds up two fish) and some fine white rice. (holds up a bowl of white rice. Someone laughs at him, and Fantozzi glances at the camera.)

Burino che distrugge la Bianchina: (Fantozzi tries to wind up the car window, but the goon slams it down with his hand) Get out of the car, shit head! Burino che distrugge la Bianchina: (holding up Fantozzi by his neck) Who's the arsehole here? Ugo Fantozzi: (points to his face) I am! (is flung through the back of his car) No! No! It wasn't my fault! That woman told me to! (points to Silvani) Burino che distrugge la Bianchina: (glaring at Fantozzi, who is still slumped in the back of the car) You suck! Trying to blame it on a woman! You are *scum*!

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