Evil Dead: Regeneration
2005 (VG)
Ash: I'll bet you ten to one... that hurt.
Sam: Hey deadites! *Mind* your own business! Ha ha! Get it? Mind? You know, the deadites... possessions... losing it... Ash: (sarcastically) Good one, runt. Sam: Thanks. Wait a sec... I mean screw you!
Ash: (holding a deadite head) What's that? You can't believe you just got your ass kicked by a one-handed nut job? What's that? Oh, you think I'm your daddy! Listen shake and bake, I eat death for breakfast and danger for dinner, so spread the word! Ash... is back... in business!
Ash: (to Sally) You know, I bet you could some kind of a knockout if you traded in the granny wear for some high thigh stockings and a bra that pushed up your yams.
Ash: Let's make a deal. You shut up now, and the next time I possess you, I won't pour hot coffee down your pants.
Dr Reinhard: Achtung, patients! As a reminder, patients are to service their own bedpans. We will not take crap from you! Und remember, nobody cares about you, like Sunny Meadows!
Sam: Hey, who left the stove on? Know what this furnace reminds me of? Ash: I have no idea. Sam: Johnny Sticks. Him and me, we used to be connected. Ash: Connected to what? The union of verbally challenged half deadites? Sam: You know, "connected"! Me and Sticks, the guy was thin as a toothpick, we were top earners. Ash: I thought you were an ice cream driver. Sam: I was a lot of things, you know for cover. Me and Sticks used to pose as chimney sweeps, sneaking out of furnace vents with the loot. Sticks must have put on a couple of pounds cause he got himself stuck. Furnace comes on and *boom*! Then, err... Ash: And then you played "pick up sticks" right? Sam: I don't deserve sarcasm.
Ash: You know, you starting to make me think that the world ending can be any more painful than listening to you!
Ash: When you get to hell, tell 'em Ash sent ya!
Sam: You ever got an itch you can reach but probably shouldn't be scratchin'? Hee hee!
Ash: Can't you act like a normal corpse for just *two* minutes!
Sam: So, you wanna swap stories on how we lost our virginity?
Ash: Ever heard of a time out? Because the next "time" you talk, I'm gonna knock you the hell "out!"
Ash: I need to cut back on my medication, or double it.
Ash: Hey Napoleon, open that gate for me and make it snappy. Sam: I don't know who you think you are, but I demand respect! Ash: Oh, you want respect? Then stop complaining to my crotch! Sam: OOOOH! You just made a big mistake buddy, you've messed with the wrong midget! I'll shove my boot so far up your ass, you need a shoe horn to swallow! Ash: Well, even your temper's short! Sam: The portal's is this way. We'll need to find a way around. Ash: No, no. YOU need to find away around. Sam: Don't push me, two-stroke!
Sam: Don't you just hate long silences?
Ash: This is crazy, even for a nut house!