Emmerdale Farm
1972
Eric Pollard: It's Francis, isn't it? Butch Dingle: Not if you want to keep your teeth.
Shadrach Dingle: Cousin of the accused with her kit off, you'll make a bomb. Chastity Dingle: Unless you want your teeth introduced to your throat, I suggest you shut it. Shadrach Dingle: Fair enough.
(Cain has just told Zak about Debbie) Zak: I've got to stop chewing those leaves.
(Lisa has just punched Zak on the jaw) Marlon: They'll put you in the cop car. Sam: Are you dead, Dad? Zak: No, I just feel like it.
Charity Tate: Where's your boyfriend Debbie Jones: He's not my boyfriend. Charity Tate: I wouldn't call them boyfriend at your age either. Debbie Jones: No, you called them clients
(Shadrach has drunk a whole bottle of communion wine) Ethan Blake: What do you usually do with him? Zak Dingle: Wish he'd never been born!
(Danny Daggert, Robert Sugden and Donna Windsor sits at Viv's café and Danny offers to help with rehearsing their Shakespeare, MacBeth homework) Robert Sugden #2: Donna, is it a Daggart I see before me?
(Betty has returned from Australia, to find Syd standing naked in her living room) Bettina 'Betty' Eagleton: (Looking Syd up and down) You won't get far with a little thing like that!
Christopher 'Chris' Tate: Cain's not the real villain here. Terry Woods: Oh, no, you're welcoming her back with open arms!
(Zak has had a run-in with the new gamekeeper) Zak: He's like a speed camera - always there when you don't want them. Marlon: Don't look now, but the speed camera's just walked in.
Nicola Blackstock: (commenting to Simon on Chloe's Dress at Tom and Charity's wedding) I've got more cloth in my knickers!
Terry Woods: (to Diane Blackstock) It's my life they're messing with. You and all.
Diane Blackstock: You drown out here man.
Sam: (to Tom King) You're a proper nob.
Val Lambert: (to Eric Pollard) 65 years on the clock, and not a friend in the world! Enjoy yourr old age, Counsellor Pollard!
Matthew King: (regarding Charity) Yeah, well, let's just say she's not my type. Jimmy King: Yeah, I'd say Thelma-Louise (Paul Lambert's drag-queen) was more your style!
Diane Blackstock: (about a plate of food that accidentally ended up on the floor) You can't serve that now! Marlon: It's for Shadrach. Diane Blackstock: Fair enough.
Laurel Potts: Oh, it's like me, I'm never so assertive when I'm on my own. My mirror has had more time lashings. I'm sure it winces every time I go near it. Bettina 'Betty' Eagleton: Probably your face, love! (Betty starts to laugh and naively, Laurel starts to laugh with her)
Terry Woods: Trouble in paradise? Christopher 'Chris' Tate: There were no children in the garden of Eden.
Christopher 'Chris' Tate: (talking to Debbie about math) Don't let anybody tell you that two wrongs don't make it right.