Eddie Izzard: Glorious
1997 (V)
Eddie: My father was a beekeeper before me, his father was a beekeeper before him. I want to walk in their footsteps. And their footsteps were like this... (Runs screaming) AAAAAAAH! I'm covered in beeeeees!
Eddie: Peter was the one who said "I don't know him. I don't know him. I don't know him." cock-a-doodle-doo "Oh, HIM!"
Eddie: We have toasters in this country... and they lie to us! Because it has numbers from one to six and it lies to us!
Eddie: What exactly is an evil giraffe?
Eddie: If I were Achilles I would put my foot in a fuck off block of concrete!
(Depicting the end of the Trojan War) Eddie: Goodbye! We give up! You win. We've left you a huge fuck off horse... as per usual.
Eddie: I like my coffee like I like my women... in a plastic cup.
Eddie: I like my women like I like my coffee... covered in beeees!
Eddie: This is your pilot speaking. Welcome to flight one from here to there. We'll be flying at a height of ten feet, going up to twelve and a half feet if we see anything big. And our copilot today, is a thermos of coffee.
Eddie: Before birds get sucked into jet engines, do they ever think, "Look, there's Rod Stewart in first class!"
Eddie: The Pope is guarded by the Swiss guard who stand proudly in pajamas and funny hats.
Eddie: Run! It's the clergy!