EastEnders
1985
Janine Butcher: I thought I smelt something. Somewhere between mothballs and a joss-stick.
(after Little Mo recalls saying she felt like Cinderella on their wedding day) Trevor: It's nearly midnight... It was midnight was it not? When Cinderella's world fell apart?
Garry Hobbs: (trying to remember the ten commandments) Oh, I know! Thou shalt not tell porkies about thy neighbour... or pinch stuff off him including the bloke's wife.
Peggy Mitchell: If your brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your hats off.
Nick Cotton: I thank you all, from the heart of my bottom.
Peggy Mitchell: But one thing you can never underestimate about Frank Butcher, is his ability to make a cock-up of things.
Alan Jackson: You don't wanna go upsetting the Mitchells, they have long memories.
Phil Mitchell: I call you an OBG. An oldie but a goodie.
Zoe: You can't tell me what to do, you ain't my mother! Kat: Yes I AM! Zoe: What?
Zoe: My sister is my mum. My Dad is my granddad and my uncle, and my uncle is my dad.
Tony Hills: Honestly, Si, you don't know whether you're Arthur or Martha!
Trevor: (just before the room blows up) So we live to fight another day.
(Pauline Fowler is fighting to raise Sonia Jackson's daughter) Sonia Jackson: YOU want to bring up Chloe? You couldn't bring up phlegm!
Janine Butcher: (about Barry who died in a fall) If only his heart wasn't so full of love! If only he wasn't such a romantic! If only he'd worn slip-on shoes!
Dot: Luke, Chapter 4, Verse 23. Physician heal thyself. Zoe: Zoe, Chapter 1, shut your cakehole Dot: How rude...
Zoe: This ain't the Sound of Music, he's not going to marry you.
(When big Mo was 'Miss Whiplash', Little Mo answers the phone) Little Mo: You've been a naughty boy?... What did you do?... Oh I'm sure you didn't mean to, you sound ever so sorry.
Belinda: I hope they take plastic Kat: Why? You gonna getcha boobs out?
Nana Moon: Alfie, I've decided I want to get cremated. Alfie Moon: Come on then, get your coat.
Kat: Belle, you want anything?... Pancakes and maple syrup? Belinda: Want? Lynne: Sort your hair out you dozy cow.
Kat: I had a great-aunt once, she spent 50 years on the throne.
(Talking to Charlie about Kat) Mo: She's got a loud mouth and a foul temper. I dunno where she gets it from.
Kat: Coq A Vin... I thought that was sex in a Lorry.
Kat: You must be Mr Big. Andy: And you must be Miss Big Mouth.
Peggy Mitchell: No-one wants you, Pat! Frank left you, your boys left you... and now Roy's left you! Pat Evans: You think Frank wants YOU - mutton dressed as lamb? Peggy Mitchell: You cow! (she throws a wineglass at Pat, which smashes against the wall) Pat Evans: Ooh! Temper, temper! Peggy Mitchell: Anyway, YOU'RE nothing to write home about. No wonder Roy can't do it! Pat Evans: How DARE you! (now she throws a wineglass at Peggy, which also smashes against the wall) Peggy Mitchell: I'll flaming well kill you! Pat Evans: Get your hands off me! Peggy Mitchell: You take back what you said! Pat Evans: (slapping Peggy) YOU BITCH! Peggy Mitchell: (slapping Pat back) YOU COW!
Peggy Mitchell: Oh, shut up you peroxide old bag! Pauline Fowler: Oh, yeah? What's this, then - strawberry blonde at seventy, that's "real" is it? Peggy Mitchell: Shut up! I'm NOT seventy! Pauline Fowler: No, but you look it!
(handing Angie Watts their divorce papers on Christmas Day) Den Watts: Happy Christmas, Ange!
Ian Beale: I'll be back. Jane Collins: Off you go Arnie.
Ian Beale: (after Minty asks him about advice on weddings) Yes I've had three wives. One cheated on me, one Didn't make it past reception, and one shot me. What would you like to know?
Charlie Slater: (threatening to drop a car on Garry after suspecting him of cheating on Lynne) Right! You're Pizza!
(first words spoken in the show upon finding the dead Reg Cox) Den Watts: Stinks in 'ere, Dunnit?
Den Watts: (to Sharon After returning from "the dead") Hello, Princess.
Danny Moon: (to Dennis after he punched Jake in the Square) The next time you touch my Brother, You won't be servin' spirits, You'll BE one!
Alfie Moon: (after meeting countless disasters while looking for a condom) I've had a very bad night! I've been used, abused, robbed and run over... And they call it *safe* sex!
Jamie Mitchell: (about to have sex) Shouldn't we... Take precautions? Janine Butcher: You mean lock the door?
Den Watts: (last ever words) You'll never get me out of the Vic!
Johanthon 'Johnny' Allen: (before pushing Andy over flyover) Enjoy your flight!
Sharon Watts: I was a bit short with Pauline, bit her head off. Dennis Rickman: She'll grow a new one!
Chrissie Watts: (to Den, buried underneath the floor in her basement) You'd be so proud of me, you know that, darling? I'm really starting to sort those girls out. I'm starting to enjoy it. And do you know what the irony is? The only person, who could appreciate what I'm doing - is you.
Johanthon 'Johnny' Allen: (catching her flirting with a stranger) Tina, what the *hell's* the matter with you? Tina Stewart: What? Johanthon 'Johnny' Allen: You're 40, not 14!
(repeated line) Dot: Ooh, I say!
Dennis Rickman: (Phil and Dennis are fighting in the Arches) Come on, Mitchell. Let's 'ave it! Phil Mitchell: You want some, do ya ,eh? (shouts) You want some?
Pauline Fowler: (Pauline's dog doorstop has just been taken by the police for the investigation into Den's murder) Oh, Dot, they've taken my dog! Dot: What, the police? Pauline Fowler: Yes, just now! Dot: They've arrested Betty?
Jim Branning: (Den's coffin is struggling to go through the doors of the Vic) You should have lent them your doorstop, Pauline.
Lucy Beale: (about Ian and Jane) So do you think they've gone all the way? Stacey Slater: I think they've gone all the way, turned round and come back again!
Johanthon 'Johnny' Allen: Peggy, what are you having? Peggy Mitchell: I'd rather burn in hell than take a drink from you! Johanthon 'Johnny' Allen: Really? Why wait 'till then?
Chrissie Watts: (throwing a bowel of roast potatoes at Sharon, Dennis and Den) For once in your selfish little lives could you at least wait until *after* dinner?
Phil Mitchell: Referring to their last meeting "Sorry for trying to shoot you". Grant Mitchell: "Sorry for trying to drown you".
Andy: We are going to be clinically obese. Sam Mitchell: Yeah, but you'll still love me when I'm fat, won't you? Andy: No.
Stacey Slater: The two birds that run the pub, they're right up themselves. The bird in the café she's a bit up herself but not too bad. Yolande in the shop, she's up herself. She's all right sometimes. Pauline in the launderette, she's a right old dragon and she's up herself. The other one just goes on about God all day. My Nan's a battleaxe. My cousin Mo's all right but my cousin Zoë, wait till you get a load of her. She's so far up herself she's coming back out again! Ruby Allen: Do you ever say anything nice about anyone?
Frank Butcher: You're a wave short of an ocean, aint ya?
Frank Butcher: What do ya take me for? Some kind of ice cream?
Frank Butcher: What do you take me for? Some kind of Donut?
Frank Butcher: What do you take me for? Some kind of Pilchard?
Frank Butcher: I'll tell you what, pal, you talk to me like that again and you're gonna get a dry slap.
'Nasty' Nick Cotton: 'Ello, Phil, your hair looks different. Phil Mitchell: So will your teeth if you don't keep your mouth shut.
Tina Stewart: Why didn't you come to bed? Johanthon 'Johnny' Allen: I prefer the sofa - it doesn't nag.
Ethel Skinner: (referring to punk Mary) You know what the bible said, "Help thy neighbour". Dorothy 'Dot' Cotton: But it didn't say, "Help thy common slut that won't help thyself."
'Dirty' Den Watts: (on seeing a miserable-looking Pauline) They cancelled public hangings or something?
Alfie Moon: You know what they say, darlin', the course of true love never runs smooth. Kat: I don't want smooth, just something that's less like roller-blading down the Himalayas with a rocket up me backside.
Sharon Watts: (to Chrissie) I may not have been the first person to do this (punches Chrissie in the face) and I hope I'm not the last!
Pat Evans: (referring to Barry's passport that Janine threw in the trash after she killed Barry) What you doin'throwing this out? Janine Butcher: Well, he's not going to need it where he is now, is he?
Janine Butcher: (talking to police officers about the night she and Laura had a fight) I'm not sure, she just came at me shouting things for God knows what reason. She was pretty drunk. Two Police Officers: What about you, were you drinking? Janine Butcher: No, I never drink.
Kat: (complaining about olives in her drink) These grapes are 'orrible! Dr Anthony Trueman: They're olives! Kat: Tell 'er she can 'ave 'em back then!
Trevor: (caught in the fire at the Slaters') I cannae see straight!
Den Watts: (after Ian punches him for sleeping with Kate) I always said to Pete your boxing lessons were useless!
Garry Hobbs: (flirting with Sharon at the Vic's Halloween party) Those Apples ain't the only things bobbing, Shazza!
Dennis Rickman: (after some advice from Big Mo) Apparently, you put a penny in a jar for every time you do it for the first six months of marriage, then take one out for every time afterwards. And the idea is, the jar's never empty!