Dungeons & Dragons
2000
Snails: I've got a new word for "stupid" now: "Ridley"! This is the Ridleyest thing I've ever heard!
(while scaling the towers of the magic school, to Ridley) Snails: Why don't we just rob God while we're up here.
Ridley: I thought you said this was going to be easy. Snails: No, I said it wasn't impossible. Ridley: See that's the same thing you said when we robbed that halfling's house. (Ridley begins mouthing in time as Snails says;) And who did he catch? Me. And who did he beat from the waist down? Me. Snails: Are you gonna jump? Ridley: You gonna catch me? Snails: I'm gonna catch you. Snails: Promise? Ridley: I promise. Now jump. Snails: All right. (There is a noise off to the side and Ridley turns around as Snails screams then falls to the ground) Ridley: Sorry, I though I heard something. Snails: You did. Me hitting the ground.
(Marina Pretensa ties up Ridley and Snails with magic rope) Snails: She must've put some kind of holding spell into that bracelet. Ridley: Yeah, must be the only way she can get guys to come home with her. Marina Pretensa: I'll have to put a feeble mind spell on myself to want to take you home.
Ridley: Yeah well, have you ever heard of honor amongst thieves? We might live outside the law but we respect each other.
(Ridley has just completed a deadly maze and retrieved the Eye of the Dragon) Xilus: So, why don't you give what's rightfully mine? Hmm? Ridley: What about honor amongst thieves? (Xilus laughs) Xilus: Oh, what a romantic notion. Do you honestly believe that I could've amass the wealth that I have if I worried about honor? Ooh, no, no, no, no, no, tisk, tisk, tisk. So, pretty boy, if you don't want Hugo over here to come rearrange your features for you, I suggest you just give it up.
Elwood: If I ain't drinking, you sure ain't shopping.
Ridley: We gotta save Marina. Snails: Wait. What about the dwarf? Ridley: You get the dwarf. I get the girl. Snails: Wait, how come I always got to get the dwarf?
Norda: How old are you? Snails: Twenty-three. Yeah, I know I'm a little young for you, but what if I get my hnds on an aging potion, huh? I'll sacrifice a couple of years for you. Norda: I'm two hundred and thirty-four.
(to Damodar during a sword fight) Ridley: Oh look, I've cut you. What a shame.
Damodar: Just like you thieves, always taking things that don't belong to you.
Marina: I'm an aristocrat! A mage! Ridley: A low level mage; completely expendable...
Profion: Not so talented eh, Mr Ridley!
(Ridley recites an incantation, hoping to decode a scroll) Ridley: Alanor, salah, bedara! (Nothing happens. Hands scroll to Marina) Ridley: Can't blame me for trying. At least I... (Ridley is sucked into the map) Snails: Woo hoo! I knew that boy had talent!
Elwood: She's too skinny lad! What you need is a good dwarven woman... with a beard you CAN HANG ON TOO! AHAHAH!
Empress Savina: (after giving a long speech adressing the council) Know one thing... I am not afraid.