Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star
2003
Sally Finney: Dickie, there has to be water on it!
Dickie Roberts: This is Nuckin' Futs!
(Acting as a 6-year-old, finding a new bike on Christmas morning) Dickie Roberts: Holy shit, a bike! Rob Reiner: You're six. Dickie Roberts: Holy crap, a bike! Rob Reiner: You're six. Dickie Roberts: Goo-goo, ga-ga, bikey! Rob Reiner: Too far back.
Mrs Gertrude: Aren't you a bit big to be in a stroller? Dickie Roberts: Aren't you bit big to be on the sidewalk?
Sally Finney: Brick wall, waterfall. Dickie thinks he got it all but he don't, and I do, so Boom with that attitude. Peace, punch Captain Crunch. I've got something you can't touch. Bang- Bang choo-choo train. Wind me up I do my thing. Reeses Pieces, 7-Up. You mess with me, I'll mess you up.
Bully: Hey! Dickie Roberts: Hey? Don't you mean "Oink"?
Grace: (Grace is pushing Dickie down the sidewalk in a stroller) Grace: This feels a little odd. Dickie Roberts: Dude, I'm the one in the stroller. Grace: Did you just call me, dude? Dickie Roberts: I mean mommy.
Dickie Roberts: (to a bully picking on Sam) Is that red hair, or did someone light a fart off your mouth?
Dickie Roberts: Whoa! You ever have such a bad wipeout you don't even feel it? (falls) Sam Finney: That wasn't one of them!
Dickie Roberts: (having cereal) Hey, look, there's a prize inside! (Gives Grace the middle finger)
Dickie Roberts: May I help you? Was I being too loud in my treeehouse?
Sidney Wernick: I may have to go to the bathroom every 45 minutes, but at least I get to pee in a gold toilet.
Sally Finney: Dickie, you promised to help me with my pep squad tryouts. Dickie Roberts: Oh, I will. That pep squad spot's got your name all over it. Did I ever tell you I was a backup dancer for Vanilla Ice? Sam Finney: (laughs) No way! Dickie Roberts: Oh, yeah, I owe him a call.
Sally Finney: (both looking outside at treehouse) I wonder what he's doing up there. Sam Finney: Who cares, just as long as Stranger Danger's out of our house. Sally Finney: But still. Sam Finney: Yeah. It actually looks pretty cool. Is that a disco ball? Dickie Roberts: (inside treehouse) Woo! Sally Finney: Seem, maybe we should peek our heads in.
Dickie Roberts: Insane in the membrane! Insane, got no brain!
Dickie Roberts: You know who else I don't get? Vin Diesel. I mean, is he good looking? Is he Chinese, or what? I mean, I don't know... Leif Garrett: That's so horrible, man. Geez, you're such a dick. Besides, he would kick your ass.
Girl: (two girls spot Leif Garrett and Dickie talking on the sidewalk) Oh, my God! You're Leif Garrett! I used to have such a crush on you! Girl: Can I have your autograph? Dickie Roberts: You want my autograph too? Dickie Roberts. Girl: No, I'm fine. Dickie Roberts: How about if I put it on a $5 bill? Girl: Make it a 20?
Dickie Roberts: (while talking to an overweight woman) What? Cat got your tongue or did you eat that for breakfast too?
Barry Williams: I bet you a thousand dollars... no, make that a hundred dollars and the actual football we used to hit Marcia with in the whole "My nose, My nose" episode, that Brendan Frasier never calls. (Dickie's phone rings) Dickie Roberts: Hold on. (answers phone) Gopher Dickie. (everyone else laughs) Brendan? Yes, of course I can meet Rob Reiner tomorrow! Corey Feldman: (laughs and points at Barry Williams, who glares at him)
Dustin Diamond, Corey Feldman, Barry Williams: Brick wall, waterfall, Danny thinks he's got it all. But he don't, and we do, so boom with that attitude or Reese's Pieces, Seven-Up, mess with us, we'll mess you up! Sally Finney: Cut! That was *so* good! (turns around and whispers) They're driving me *crazy*!