Desperate Living
1977
Peggy Gravel: Hello? What number are you calling? You've dialed the wrong number! Sorry? What good is that? How can you ever repay the last thirty seconds you have stolen from my life? I hate you, your husband, your children, and your relatives!
Peggy Gravel: Have I gone to Hell? Is that it? Have I gone straight to Hell?
(after Mole's penis is cut off) Mole McHenry: Now I won't have any organs! It'll be like having a Barbie doll crotch!
Peggy Gravel: Go home to your mother! Doesn't she ever want you? Tell her this isn't some communist daycare center! Tell your mother I hate her! Tell your mother I hate you!
Flipper: You lazy bitch! I'm out working my tail off all day, and you're in there, fuckin' MIDGETS!
Peggy Gravel: Go ahead, feel her up! Just like you did to me! Find em, feel em, fuck em, forget em... is THAT your new motto? Grizelda Brown: Zip that gaping hole of a mouth up, Peggy, before I plug it up with my fist. Peggy Gravel: You're just like all the rest of the common dykes in this town!
Queen Carlotta: (surveying her subjects as they participate in her own self-enforced "Backwards Day") Look at those dummies! Hey, moron! You got your clothes on backwards! Ha ha ha! Oh, God, this is fun! Hi, stupid! Hi, ugly! Shotsie: Ewww, that senile old cunt! Mole McHenry: I wish I had a rifle with a telescopic lens. Flipper: I'd help you pull the trigger, Mole! Muffy St. Jacques: Squeaky Fromme, where are you when we need you?
Peggy Gravel: Why did you tell me to come this way, Grizelda? You know I hate nature! Look at those disgusting trees, stealing my oxygen. Oh, I can't stand this scenery another minute. All natural forests should be turned into housing developments! I want cement covering every blade of grass in this nation. Don't we taxpayers have a voice anymore?
Motorcycle Cop: I'd like to stick my whole head in your mouth and let you suck out my eyeballs!
Muffy St. Jacques: (recalling why she ended up on the lam in Mortville) You see, I wasn't always like this. Oh, I mean I was always stunningly beautiful, but I was married once, to a man, and I had a little baby name Freddy. It all started one evening when my husband and I were coming home from a cocktail party...
Muffy St. Jacques: (finding her babysitter nude in bed with a boy) OH MY GOD, what are you doing? Where's my Freddy? Babysitter: How should I know, I'm trippin'. Muffy St. Jacques: TRIPPUN? Babysitter: I think I left him in the kitchen! Muffy St. Jacques: The KITCHUN?
Queen Carlotta: Every word I ever utter shall be considered a royal proclamation!