Deliver Us from Eva
2003
Darrell: Don't mind us. We're just having sex. Eva: Oh so I should come back in, what, two minutes?
Ray: She's cute, but why's she scowling? Darrell: That's her sexy smirk, brother.
Eva: We went back to my place for a nice, respectable evening... And-then-we-burned-a-hole-in-the-floor!
Ray: I think I might love her. Darrell: Love! You forgot the rule. Players don't feel. That's like a pimp with a health plan.
Eva: Did I hurt you? Ray: Yeah... But I liked it.
Eva: That's it, gentleman. End of story. The fat lady singeth!
Telly: (on the phone with his girlfriend) No, you can't come by here... because I'm pretending to be gay... because in L.A., a straight male hairdresser is an unemployed male hairdresser.
Telly: The best way to get over an old man... Ormandy: ... is to get under a new one!
Eva: How much did they pay you? Ray: Eva, that's not... Eva: HOW MUCH? Ray: $5000 - but I'm giving it back to them... Eva: (punches Ray) You are exactly the person I thought you were.
Eva: Holy Mother of God! Ray: (on horse in building lobby) HEY EVA!
Ray: Most women have a few barriers around their heart, but Eva has an electrified fence with rabid pit bulls.
Ray: I'm thinking next time we'll actually make it to the bed.
Ray: You give me your body and then you offer me your friendship?
Eva: You three have yet to feel my rage.
Eva: You know, let's do something you want to do. Ray: Anything? Eva: Yeah - Sure.
Ray: Scared? I said I was a multi-talented guy that likes to travel. I didn't say I was scared.
Tim: Yeah! Life, Liberty and getting away with shit - Ray!
Eva: If I don't leave right now I'm gonna start saying all kinds of hot, nasty, dirty things.
Eva: So why don't you think about that the next time you are toting around a pig's ass.
Jacqui: So if being gone makes you happy - I'm happy.
Eva: So what is it that you do again? Ray: I deliver meat.
Eva: Oh! One car breaks down, you just hop into another?
Ormandy: Ooh, that's a good looking man. I can't keep my legs together. Telly: The sun rises and you can't keep your legs together.
Eva: Who told you I like lilies? Ray: Sometimes a man gets lucky.
Eva: This is what you drive when you take a woman out? Ray: It's clean and it's free. Ray: (pauses) I'm saving to buy a house.
Eva: Just drive your meat wagon.
Eva: (nonchalantly) If food isn't prepared right your throat could close up and you'll drown on your own vomit.
Ray: You're just a civil servant, not the FBI. Eva: Well excuse the hell out of me.
Ray: I can't do this... Eva: The bulge in your pants didn't get that memo, so...
Eva: Oh what, you don't want Kareenah to make a good impression on the book club? Tim: No. Kareenah: Excuse me? Tim: Yes.
Darrell: Eva's sisters gave her a cross with Jesus on it for her birthday, the next day Jesus was gone!
Ormandy: (to the deliver guy at the hair salon) I need a real man Not a child or a boy Give me a hard rock Not a soft little toy You think women are hard You thick we're evil and mean Well I think maybe you don't need us Telly: Maybe you on the wrong team Ormandy: So I need a real man And my standards are high Don't like what you just heard Then you need not apply