Crackerjack
2002
Dave Jackson: Forty-four. Two fat whores.
Dave Jackson: Number ten... um... stab me in the eye with a ball-point pen.
Jack Simpson: Watch where you're going you hat wearing fool! Where did you learn to drive? On horseback?
Bernie Fowler: I like cheese.
Stan Coombs: And remember, this is a game of skill, touch and patience. A true revealer of character. Jack Simpson: All it's revealing right now is two inches of arse-crack poking out the top of my pants!
Stan Coombs: (introducing Nance) Her name's Nance. In case your interested? Jack Simpson: Am not, I've got a girlfriend. Mandy: (walks in angrily) No you don't! Jack Simpson: Mandy, what are you doing here? Mandy: Returning your things. (throws a pack of cigarettes into Jack's hands, Stan laughs) Jack Simpson: (shouting to Mandy) Better all be here!
Supervisor: (about to review one of Jack's phone conversation) Why don't we listen into one of your calls shall we? Jack Simpson: Excellent Idea Jack Simpson: (over phone) Good afternoon, My name is Jack Simpson and you are a good-for-nothing layabout. Ha Ha! Dave Jackson: (over phone) Hi Jack. How's it going? Jack Simpson: Shithouse. I just had this idiot on the line going on and on, so i told her to blow it out her arse. Still on for later? Dave Jackson: Yeah. Jack Simpson: Okay, I'll see you at the bowls club. I told that dumbfuck supervisor I've got a migraine coming on, so I reckon I'll get the arvo off. Ha ha ha (Supervisor stops recording) Jack Simpson: (sarcastically) Maybe a little long but otherwise I'd give it an... 85.21% Supervisor: Hmm. You're fired, Simpson.
(repeated lne) Eileen: Swear jar, Nance