Constantine
2005
John Constantine: Angels and Demons can't cross over into our plane. So, instead we get what I call half-breeds. The influence peddlers. They can only whisper in our ears. A single word can give you courage, or turn your favorite pleasure into your worst nightmare. Those with the demon's touch and those part angel, living alongside us. They call it the balance. I call it hypocritical bullshit.
John Constantine: So when a half-breed breaks the rules, I deport their sorry ass straight back to hell. I don't get them all, but I've been hoping to get enough to ensure my... retirement. Angela Dodson: I don't understand. John Constantine: I'm a suicide, Angela. When I die, the rules say I've got just one place to go... Angela Dodson: You're trying to buy your way into heaven. John Constantine: What would *you* do if you were sentenced to a prison where half the inmates were put there by you?
Satan: You're the one soul I would come up here to collect myself. John Constantine: So I've heard.
Angela Dodson: How long? (as in how long under water) John Constantine: As long as it takes.
Angela Dodson: I always denied I could see.
Angela Dodson: When we were girls, we would leave each other messages in light... and breath... on the windows.
John Constantine: I need you to leave... Angela Dodson: Okay. (heads for her room) John Constantine: ... the apartment. (waits for her to leave and looks down at cat) Angela Dodson: Be careful with that cat. (cat meows and Angela begins to close the door) John Constantine: God, I hate this part.
Midnite: (shouts) You know the rules of my house. (normal voice) While here you *will* abide by them.
Angela Dodson: Hold the door. You going down? John Constantine: Not if I can help it.
John Constantine: (flips off demon) For your boss.
John Constantine: (speaking to God) I know I'm not one of your favorites, and I'm not welcomed in your house, but I could really use some attention.
Satan: Sonny, I've got a whole theme park full of red delights for you.
Midnite: (laughing, to John, regarding Chas) Take him, John. Kill him after.
Angela Dodson: I guess God has a plan for all of us. John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm, lady. He's not planning anything.
John Constantine: (from Easter Egg at end of credits) You did good, kid.
Gabriel: (holding Constantine's Holy Shotgun against his chest) You want revenge? Go ahead. I deserve it. Pull the trigger. John Constantine: (takes the gun and aims it at Gabriel) Yea... (punches Gabriel) It's called pain! Get used to it. (goes to leave with Angela) Gabriel: (smiling) You could have shot me, John! (Constantine continues to leave) Gabriel: You chose a higher path. (Constantine continues to leave) Gabriel: Look how well you're doing! (Constantine leave the building) Gabriel: (Gabriel submerses into a pool)
Angela Dodson: She was a patient at Ravenscar. She... jumped off the roof. John Constantine: I thought you said she was murdered? Angela Dodson: Yeah, well, Isabel wouldn't have taken her own life. John Constantine: Yeah, what kind of mental patient kills herself? That's just crazy.
John Constantine: (regarding Satan's son) He's in there with Gabriel. Satan: No accounting for taste.
Midnite: (to Hugh) I heard thunder last night. Must have been Satan's stomach growling.
Balthazar: (after being shot by Dragon's breath from John's Holy Shotgun) Fire! I was born of this!
Gabriel: (as Gabriel falls from God's grace) Father!
Gabriel: I shall smite thee, in his honour. Satan: (Gabriel attempts to punch Lucifer, but is unable) Looks like someone doesn't have your back any more.
Balthazar: Word is that you're on your way down. Fresh meat. (puts fingers in his mouth, hisses, and leans forward) Balthazar: Finger lickin' good.
Angela Dodson: Hold the elevator, you going down? John Constantine: Not if I can help it.
Angela Dodson: You tried to kill yourself. John Constantine: I didn't *try* anything.
Dr Leslie Archer: John, you really need to prepare... make arrangements. John Constantine: No need. I already know exactly where I'm going.
John Constantine: (whispering into the ear of a possessed girl) This is Constantine. John Constantine. Asshole.
(from trailer) (Constantine traps a spider under a cigarette-smoke filled glass) John Constantine: Welcome to my life.
John Constantine: What if I told you that God and the devil made a wager, a kind of standing bet for the souls of all mankind? Angela Dodson: I'd tell you to stay on your meds.
John Constantine: Heaven and hell are right here, behind every wall, every window, the world behind the world. And we're smack in the middle.
John Constantine: You don't need His protection. It'll be like back in the day.
Chas Chandler: This is Kramer. Chas Kramer. Asshole.
John Constantine: Not bad, kid.
Chas Chandler: Right, John. It's not like in the books, huh?
Chas Chandler: John, why would you do that if you don't sell my car? John Constantine: I told you to move it. Chas Chandler: Right, John, you did tell me to move it, but if you would have told me there was a three hundred pound mirror you were dropping with a pissed-off demon, I would have moved it further, John!
Angela Dodson: (Angela is about to transport into Hell via bathtub and has taken off her jacket) So, do I have to take the rest of my clothes off or can I leave them on? (pause) Angela Dodson: John? John Constantine: I'm thinking...
Gabriel: You're going to die young because you smoked 30 cigarettes a day since you were 15... and you're going to go to hell because of the life you took. (pause, Gabriel leans in) You're fucked.
Gabriel: (to Constantine) You're going to die because you smoked 30 cigarettes a day since you were 15, and you're going to hell because of the life you chose.
Gabriel: (Gabriel sits on top of John Constantine, explaining her rebellion) You're handed this precious gift, right? Each one of you granted redemption from the Creator - murderers, rapists, molesters - all of you just have to repent, and God takes you into His busom. In all the worlds and all the universe, no other creature can make such a boast, save man. It's not fair. (Gabriel leans closer to Constantine's face) If sweet, sweet God loves you so, then I will make you worthy of His love. But it's only in the face of horror that you truly find your noble self, and you can be so noble. So... I will bring you pain, I will bring you horror. (Gabriel lifts up Constantine from his collar) So that you may rise above it. So that those of you who will survive this reign of hell on earth will be worthy of God's love. John Constantine: Gabriel, you're insane! Gabriel: (Gabriel smiles) The road to salvation begins tonight. Right now. (Gabriel blows, sending Constantine crashing to the door)
Vermin Man: (just before he attacks Constantine, who is coughing blood on the sidewalk) Hey, buddy, got a light?
Chas Chandler: How much longer do I have to be your slave, John? John Constantine: You're not my slave, Chas, you're my very appreciated apprentice, like Tonto, or Robin, or that skinny fellow with the fat friend.
Midnite: (as he is preparing to spread water and alcohol on the floor) Tell me this isn't about the girl? John Constantine: Definitely, mostly not about the girl.
Midnite: (holding the lamp containing the glowing filament of the smashed bulb) Are you sure about this? John Constantine: No. (Midnite electrocutes him, John screams)
Beeman: (his last lines) I know you never had much faith, John, you never had much reasons to. But that doesn't mean we never had any faith... in you.
Balthazar: (as he chokes John to death) Don't fight it, Johnny boy, enjoy it.
Chas Chandler: (to Midnite's knocked-out bouncer) Who's the rat in the dress now, bitch?
John Constantine: How's the family? Satan: Family's doing just fine. Busy, busy, busy, busy. Need a vacation.
John Constantine: (to a room full of demons) Hi, my name's John, you are in violation of the balance. Leave immediately or I will deport you. All of you. John Constantine: (no reaction, John stands on a chair) Go to hell. Ellie: (John ignites a lighter and places it under a fire-detector, holy water sprinkles down) Holy water? (the demons' flesh burns and they scream in agony)
Gabriel: Son of perdition. Little horn! Swine! Most unclean! Satan: (nostalgic) I do miss the old names.
Satan: No. You will live, John Constantine. You will live so will have the chance to prove that your soul truly belongs in hell. Satan: (his last lines) Oh, you will live. You will live...
(first English spoken lines) Father Hennessy: Hey, John, I think I found you one.
(first lines) Father Hennessy: John, I think I found you one.
(last lines) John Constantine: I guess there's a plan for all of us. I had to die, twice, just to figure that out. Like the book says "The Lord works in mysterious ways." Some people like it... John Constantine: (pops some gum) ... some people don't.
Satan: So what do you want? An extension?
Angela Dodson: I don't believe in the devil. John Constantine: You should. He believes in you.
John Constantine: (as Midnight holds him up against a wall) Is this neutral? Bullshit! You're the only one still playing by the rules, Midnite, and while you are people are dying. (Midnite burns him) (screams) John Constantine: I need your help! Consider it a last request. John Constantine: (Midnight lets him slump to the ground) Two hundred dollar shirt, by the way.
Balthazar: What are you doing? John Constantine: I'm reading you your last rites. Balthazar: Spare me your remedial incantations. John Constantine: You do know what it is to truly be forgiven ? To be welcomed into the Kingdom of God. Demon in heaven, I'd love to be a fly on that wall. Balthazar: You're not a priest. You have no power. John Constantine: Just tell me how Mammon is crossing over and you can go back to your shit hole. Okay, Bally, enjoy it. (after Balthazar gives him the info) By the way... you have to *ask* for absolution to be forgiven ... asshole.
Angela Dodson: Can you at least point me in the right direction? (Constantine points to door of apartment)