Con Air

1997

(They can't reach Vince Larkin) Duncan Malloy: Well of course you can't reach him. He's off saving the rain forest, or recycling his sandals or some shit.

(Cyrus is about to burn Cindino alive) Francisco Cindino: Cy! Cyrus Grissom: ... onara!

(Holding a gun up to the head of a stuffed pink bunny) Cyrus Grissom: Make a move and the bunny gets it.

Cameron Poe: Put... the bunny... back... in the... box.

Cyrus Grissom: I despise rapists. For me, they're somewhere between a cockroach and that white stuff that accumulates at the corners of your mouth when you're really thirsty. But, in your case, I'll make an exception.

Agent Sims: I'm DEA, d'you know what the fuck that means? Pinball: It means you're the most crooked nigger on the plane!

Local cop: I got a problem with a corpse. Larkin: Yeah? Local cop: Yeah, fell from the sky. I don't think he's an astronaut.

Duncan Malloy: Beautiful? Sunsets are beautiful, newborn babies are beautiful. This... this is fucking spectacular!

Garland Greene: What if I told you insane was working fifty hours a week in some office for fifty years at the end of which they tell you to piss off; ending up in some retirement village hoping to die before suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time? Wouldn't you consider that to be insane?

(to Cyrus, while holding a gun) Pinball: You didn't mean that "two-bit negro crackhead" shit, did you? Cyrus Grissom: Give me that gun. (takes the gun) Hell yes, I meant it.

(to the pilot whom he is holding at gunpoint) Cyrus Grissom: Say a word about this over the radio, and the next wings you see will belong to the flies buzzing over your rotting corpse!

Vince Larkin: Do you understand me, or do you need me to draw it in crayon, like usual?

Garland Greene: He's a fountain of misplaced rage. Name your cliche; Mother held him too much or not enough, last picked at kickball, late night sneaky uncle, whatever. Now he's so angry that moments of levity actually cause him pain; give him headaches. Happiness, for that gentleman, hurts.

Pinball: I hate to say this, Cyrus, but we are three white dudes short. Or as they say in Ebonics, "We be fucked".

William 'Billy Bedlam' Bedford: Have you lost your mind? Cyrus Grissom: According to my last psych evaluation, yes.

Cyrus Grissom: Johnny, can you fly? Johnny 23: No. Cyrus Grissom: You keep that in mind, cause if your dick jumps out of your pants, you jump off this plane!

Duncan Malloy: What's with "dictionary-boy" over here? Vince Larkin: I believe "thesaurus-boy" would be more appropriate.

Sally Can't Dance: What can I do? Cyrus Grissom: Take this, (hands Sally a gun and stuffs ammo down his shirt) Cyrus Grissom: And head to the boneyard. Anyone makes it through, you scratch their eyes out! Sally Can't Dance: You got it!

(Sally Can't Dance is surrounded by cops) Sally Can't Dance: Ooh. Men in uniform.

Baby O: What's wrong with him? Cameron Poe: My first guess would be... a lot.

Vince Larkin: Cyrus, where are you taking my plane? Cyrus Grissom: We're going to Disney Land. Vince Larkin: You're lying, Cyrus. Cyrus Grissom: So are you, Vince. (singing mockingly) Ohh... nothing makes me sadder than the agent lost his blader in the... aaaiirrrplane Vince Larkin: (throws the headset he's using)

Cyrus Grissom: (holding a gun to Cameron Poe's head) I just want you to know before you die that the last thing little Casey Poe will smell will be my stinking breath!

Cyrus Grissom: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. I have the only gun on board. Welcome to Con Air.

Cameron Poe: That gun work? Vince Larkin: Yeah. Cameron Poe: Then shoot that piece of shit!

Vince Larkin: If you can't trust a South American drug lord, who can you trust? (silence) That was a joke. Cameron Poe: I'm glad you told me.

Johnny 23: Do you know what I am? Cameron Poe: Ugly all day?

Cameron Poe: Somehow they managed to get every creep and freak in the universe on this one plane.

Vince Larkin: Cyrus is a poster child for the criminally insane.

(after seeing a Corvette being towed in the air by a plane) Cameron Poe: On any other day, that might seem strange.

Garland Greene: One girl, I drove through three states wearing her head as a hat.

Vince Larkin: This one has done it all: kidnapping, robbery, murder, and extortion. His name is Cyrus Grissom, A.K.A. Cyrus the Virus. Thirty-nine years old, twenty-five of them spent in our institutions. But he's bettered himself on the inside. Earned two degrees, including his juris doctor. He's also killed eleven fellow inmates, incited three riots, and escaped twice. Likes to brag he's killed more men than cancer.

Cameron Poe: (referring to his wife) If this goes bad, you tell her I love her. She's my hummingbird. But I can't leave a man behind. You'll do that for me, won't you, Larkin? Vince Larkin: Sure. What are you gonna do for me? Cameron Poe: What do you think I'm gonna do? I'm gonna save the fuckin' day!

("Sweet Home Alabama" plays in background) Garland Greene: Define irony: a bunch of idiots dancing around on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash.

Cameron Poe: There's only two men I trust. One is me. The other is not you.

Cameron Poe: There's now three people I trust. Vince Larkin: Am I one of them?

Cyrus Grissom: Oh, nothing makes me sadder than the agent lost his bladder on the aeroplane.

Garland's Craps Dealer: (last scene of film) New shooter! Does the new shooter feel lucky? Well, does he? Garland Greene: (having successfully escaped) Yes... yes he does.

Cyrus Grissom: Thank you Poe, you've proven to be a most useful mammal. Cameron Poe: Many hands make light work. My father taught me that. Cyrus Grissom: Know what my father taught me? Nothing. Cameron Poe: Self-educated man.

Cyrus Grissom: It's not difficult to surmise Nathan's feelings towards killing these guards; and my own proclivities are well-known and often-lamented facts of penal lore.

Pinball: Hey, man. You Swamp Thing? Swamp Thing: That's right. Pinball: You gonna fly the plane? Swamp Thing: That's right. Pinball: It's amazing the shit you white trash know. Swamp Thing: That's right.

Cyrus Grissom: If we let you out, are you gonna play nice, Billy? William 'Billy Bedlam' Bedford: Probably not.

Guard Falzon: If any of you so much as pass gas in my direction and upset my delicate nasal passages, your testicles will become my private property.

Little Girl: Are you sick? Garland Greene: Why do you ask? Little Girl: You look sick. Garland Greene: I am sick. Little Girl: Do you take medicine? Garland Greene: There is no medicine for what I have.

Duncan Malloy: This is a situation that needs to get unfucked, right now!

Vince Larkin: Contingency plans for something like this don't exist. The situation has never been contemplated. Duncan Malloy: Well, you'd better start contemplating it because this is a situation that needs to get *un-fucked* right now!

Vince Larkin: He brought a gun on the plane! Duncan Malloy: If I'd known this is the way you guys run things I'd have told him to take a fuckin' UZI on board!

Cameron Poe: (smashing Johnny 23's head into the cage wall on each syllable) You *don't*... *treat*... *women*... *like*... *that*!

(referring to Malloy's Corvette falling from the plane) Vince Larkin: I know a good body shop in Fresno if it's insured. Duncan Malloy: Nah, I was bored with it anyway. Vince Larkin: Oh, well it worked out better this way, then.

Vince Larkin: (quoting Dostoyevsky) "The degree of civilization can be judged by its prisoners." Dostoyevsky said that, (pauses) after doin' a little time.

Cyrus Grissom: Guard Falzon? Guard Falzon: What is it, Cyrus? Cyrus Grissom: Oh, Stewardess? Stewardess? What's the in-flight movie today? Guard Falzon: Well, I think you'll like it, Cyrus. It's called "I'll Never Make Love to a Woman on the Beach Again", and it's preceded by the award-winning short, "No More Steak For Me, Ever". (Guard Falzon walks away chuckling) Cyrus Grissom: (mumbles) Funny fucker, aren't ya?

Guard Falzon: It smells like someone shit in your mouth. Pinball: He told me he loved me.

Garland Greene: (singing in the crashing plane) He's got the who-ole wo-orld in his hands...

Nathan 'Diamond Dog' Jones: (getting Poe's attention) Yee-haw! Hey, Hillbilly! What's on your mind? Cameron Poe: What was I thinking again? Oh, that's right, "yee-haw". I was just wondering what a black militant - that would be you - was doin' takin' orders from a white boy on a power trip? Don't you think that's strange? Nathan 'Diamond Dog' Jones: It's a means to an end, my white friend. A means to an end. See, I's can play house nigger till we get to where we're goin'. And then, the day of the dog begins.

Cameron Poe: (taking daughter's picture back) Told you I'd be getting this back. Guard Falzon: Fuck you, trailer trash! Cameron Poe: Hey! My mom lives in a trailer!

Cyrus Grissom: Considering my audience, I am going to make this quick and simple. Cyrus Grissom: (points to objects in the sand) This is the boneyard, this is the hanger and this is our plane. Con #1: (points to a rock) Okay, what's that? Cyrus Grissom: That? That's a rock! (knocks it out of the way) Con #1: Okay.

Larkin: Nathan Jones, A.K.A. Diamond Dog. Former general of the Black Guerillas. He blew up a meeting of the National Rifle Association saying, and I quote, "They represented the basic negativity of the white race." He wrote a book in prison, "Reflections in a Diamond's Eye". New York Times called it a wakeup call for the Black Community. They're talking to Denzel for the movie.

Vince Larkin: (desperately trying to start a truck) Come on, you stinking piece of shit car!

Johnny 23: They would call me Johnny 600 if they knew the truth.

Francisco Cindino: Don't they have a way of tracking these planes? Swamp Thing: That's right. It's called a transponder. Every plane's got one Cindino. Nathan 'Diamond Dog' Jones: (sarcastic) Swamp, where is the transponder? Cyrus Grissom: (looks at the empty bay) Ah, where indeed.

Cyrus Grissom: You know, the next time you choose a human shield, you're better off not picking a two-bit negro crackhead.

Cyrus Grissom: Where's the plane Cindino? Francisco Cindino: It'll be here, have patience. Cyrus Grissom: The last guy who told me to have patience, I burned him down, bagged his ashes.

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