Columbo: Étude in Black

Jenifer Welles: I thought you might be a little angry. Alex Benedict: How could I be angry looking at you? I just don't like ultimatums, that's all. Jenifer Welles: Well, I don't like being a secret mistress. It's not my style. Alex Benedict: I know. You told me.

Jenifer Welles: (to Alex) Darling, I know you. I know you're not really afraid of hurting Janice. You're just reluctant to lose her mother's backing... and all that money. Don't worry. You're a genius You'll always have everything. You're just a little weak, deep inside. And all you really need is me. And I need you. Because I'm the same.

Dr Benson: (referring to Columbo's dog) Say, how old is he? Lieutenant Columbo: Kinda hard to say. You see, I just picked him up at the pound. His time was up, if you know what I mean.

Lieutenant Columbo: Okay, Doc. Thanks for staying open. I got these peculiar hours... Dr Benson: Ah, no sweat. My wife doesn't like music. She watches murder mysteries, so whenever the concert's on, I work late.

Lieutenant Columbo: I can't stand suicide. Murder is bad, but suicide is sadder.

Lieutenant Columbo: But that's me, I'm paranoid. Like every time I see a dead body, I think it's a murder. Can't imagine anyone murdering themselves. Especially a young girl like that, beautiful eyes. But that's me. I'd like to see everyone die of old age.

Janice Benedict: How well did you know her, Alex? Alex Benedict: Oh, you know. Janice Benedict: I don't know. Alex Benedict: Now what is that supposed to mean? Janice Benedict: You know her phone number by heart. Alex Benedict: I know a lot of telephone numbers of people I work with by heart.

Alex Benedict: You're always imagining that I'm, I'm leaping into beds all over town. I've never done that. Janice Benedict: Oh, Alex, don't. I know you. Alex Benedict: Why do all these people feel that they know me?

Lieutenant Columbo: Terrific place. Terrific. Alex Benedict: Thank you. We like it.

Lieutenant Columbo: Can I ask you a personal question? Alex Benedict: Please. Lieutenant Columbo: What do you pay in taxes on this place?

Lieutenant Columbo: Anyway, what I was going to ask you is this: How much do you make?

Lieutenant Columbo: I have a thought. Listen to this; what if she didn't commit suicide? Alex Benedict: Isn't that peculiar? Because that's what I was gonna say. I was awake, almost all night, thinking about the same thing! Lieutenant Columbo: No kidding. Alex Benedict: Yes... only I rejected the idea.

Lieutenant Columbo: Oh, she could've passed out from the gas. She could've fallen off the chair and she could have bumped her head. But you know, that was a pretty good bump. You know, someone could've hit her. Alex Benedict: That's just an assumption on your part. Lieutenant Columbo: Right. Very difficult to prove.

Audrey: Chopin was a composer. He wrote piano pieces. She named her bird after him.

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