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Chelmsford 123

1988

Aulus Paulinus: Grasientus, go to your room and write a farewell note to your testicles!

Badvoc: So far we've had a woman with no hair, a woman with no teeth, and a woman with hair on her teeth.

Mungo: They call me Mungo the Contradictory. Roman: Do they? Mungo: No.

Mungo: They call me Mungo, the Evasive. Roman: Why is that? Mungo: Who wants to know?

(Aulus has become fed up with the fact that Viatorus can't include noses in his artwork) Aulus Paulinus: I want a new bust, by next week, *with* a nose! Viatorus: Oh, very well. (pauses) You wouldn't settle for an extra ear, would you?

Aulus Paulinus: What have I done to deserve this? I'm not a bad person! I haven't killed my father or slept with my mother! Mungo: Hey, don't knock it till you've tried it.

Mungo: I'm going into town to throw rocks at old people, d'you fancy coming? Badvoc: You need help, Mungo. Mungo: Yeah, Blag's gonna carry the rocks.

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