Casanova

2005/II (TV)

Giacomo Casanova: I'm a spy. Grimani: A spy? Giacomo Casanova: Yes, that's right, a spy. Of course, being a spy I shouldn't say I'm a spy or I could get spied by a spy. Grimani: I suppose you can prove it? Giacomo Casanova: What? You want me to spy on something? Look, there's a canal, I spied it. Look, it's still there. Look, and again.

Edith: Is it all going to be like this? Older Casanova: Like what? Edith: Pornography. Older Casanova: No. Pornography's over there, second shelf on the left.

Giacomo Casanova: Now you see the puzzle is, if I were married to Henriette, and separated by hundreds of miles, I'd do anything to be with her. To hell with the job, I'd resign, I'd walk barefoot. Yet you seem decidedly static, why is that? I don't suppose your having problems... In the marital bed, perhaps? Dare I suggest on your side of the bed. Bit of trouble with the old (whistles) . If you need advice, I'm very good. Grimani: How could you possibly advise me? You're a con-man I'm an ambassador. I have a wife, you have whores. I have children, you have a bastard. Giacomo Casanova: Look, if you want a measuring contest I'll drop my pants right now and I'll win. Grimani: You talk like a pervert. Giacomo Casanova: No, I'm just not scared of what's down there, that's all. Tell me, is cock fighting illegal in this country cause that's what this is. Grimani: You sound more in love with men than women. Giacomo Casanova: Men I understand. I know what men think about, all day long. Those stupid little inches, driving you mad every waking hour. I know exactly what's going on in your head. Is it big? Is it big enough? Is it hard enough, will it work every time on demand; cause that's the only thing, that is the only bastard question - am I any good in bed? Is every other man better than me? Is every other man bigger and faster and slower and longer and deeper and harder - what am I doing wrong? How do I find out, cause no one ever talks about it, no one ever says. How can I ever find out what I'm doing wrong?... Ask me.

Giacomo Casanova: Never lose your heart, Jack. Never let them take it.

Giacomo Casanova: As they say in these parts, 'ta'.

Giacomo Casanova: My marriage is none of your business. Grimani: And yet I think of nothing else. Giacomo Casanova: And that is your curse.

Grimani: I have considerable influence within the English court, I can demand an audience with King George the second himself. So go on, try your tricks, and you will fail, I'll see to that. Giacomo Casanova: You're just dying to kiss me.

Henriette: The man of parts. Giacomo Casanova: Many parts. Henriette: Is that how you win over the ladies? Cheap innuendo? Giacomo Casanova: No, you just make all my best lines rubbish.

Giacomo Casanova: That's my name, people call me Jack. Can't we change his name? Rocco: No. Giacomo Casanova: Lorenzo, or Caesar, Marco, Stefano, Giovanni... Alison? Rocco: No.

Giacomo Casanova: I wonder if he's an idiot. I talk and talk and he gives nothing back. Rocco: Well, maybe if it wasn't all about you... Giacomo Casanova: Well I don't know anyone else.

Giacomo Casanova: This blessed plot, this septic isle, this England. What do you think? Rocco: Bloody freezing. Giacomo Casanova: Yeah that's one thing, what else? Jack - anything? Anything, Jack? Then pay attention both of you, English lesson. The currency's different here, they spend guinea's. Scratching in public is forbidden, that's for you Rocko. But not that - look over there, observe. Rocco: That's disgusting. Giacomo Casanova: Uh, that's England. They don't piss in doorways like we do, they do it right out in the open. Rocco: These English are crazy. Giacomo Casanova: And the food tastes different. I'm told the milk is terrible. Oh! And a lot of the men are homosexual... that might have something to do with the milk... might not.

Grimani: How can the church maintain its authority when the language itself is beyond reason? For example; in the Latin, can anyone explain to me why the word for vagina is masculine and the word for penis feminine, he had no answer. Giacomo Casanova: Well I suppose you could say it's because the slave always takes its name from the master.

Henriette: If your going to pretend in this city then you only have to remember one thing; they're all pretending - high born, low born, the people in between, everyone's wishing they were someone else. All you have to do is lie with conviction.

Rocco: Its all bollocks that stuff. Giacomo Casanova: Ah, but since you were born under the sign of a ram, with you're tangent in the ascendant, I knew you were going to say that. Rocco: Very funny. Giacomo Casanova: And that. Rocco: You can't just... Giacomo Casanova: And that. Rocco: Don't you... Giacomo Casanova: And that. Rocco: It's not... Giacomo Casanova: And. Rocco: If you... Giacomo Casanova: And!...

Giacomo Casanova: This is beginning to scare me.

Edith: You don't have to go into detail. I'd appreciate it if you kept it clean. Older Casanova: That leaves about three pages.

Henriette: Quite the gentleman. Giacomo Casanova: Quite the lady. Henriette: Quite bored of this. Goodbye.

Landlord: That smell's the tannery; God help you in summer. If there's one good thing, the rats can't climb this high, but the water can - that roof hasn't got long. Giacomo Casanova: You're not exactly selling it.

Angela Tosello: I find all forms of theatre vulgar. Giacomo Casanova: Yes, absolutely, good point. Even puppet shows?

Giacomo Casanova: (Bellino has removed the fake penis from her pants) ... well mine certainly doesn't do that

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