Carry On Emmannuelle
1978
Emile Prevert: I can't straighten anything. I'm completely bent.
Emile Prevert: Why me? You could have Tom, Dick or Harry. Emmannuelle Prevert: I don't want Tom or Harry!
Mrs Dangle: Gordon Bennett, they're having a phonographic orgy.
Immigration Officer: What is your purpose of your visit to the United Kingdom? Emmannuelle Prevert: To make some friends with ze British. Immigration Officer: Is the purpose of your visit business or pleasure? Emmannuelle Prevert: Pleasure... definitely.
(Lyons, the butler, meets the Emmannuelle for the first time. She turns up to surprise her husband at the French Ambassador's Residence in Central London) Lyons: Can I help you? Emmannuelle Prevert: I am your mistress. Lyons: Oh my gawd! (Panicked, he slams the door. Pause, to himself:) I don't have a mistress! (Opening the door again:) I don't have a mistress. Emmannuelle Prevert: You have now! To begin with you can tell the Ambassador that his wife is here!
Emile Prevert: Please excuse my masculine odour, I have been pumping iron.
Emile Prevert: Cheri, Loins... Lyons: His excellency meant Lyons, madam. My name is Lyons. Emmannuelle Prevert: I prefer Loins. Lyons: Likewise, madam.
Emmannuelle Prevert: Turn over! Emile Prevert: No, no! I don't like. Emmannuelle Prevert: Emile, I am a woman. I am your wife; you should not have to hide anyway from me. Emile Prevert: There's not much to hide!
Theodore Valentine: Mother, I've met someone who is very dear to me. Mrs Valentine: Was it your Auntie Hilda, dear? Theodore Valentine: No, mother, I met this girl, this wonderful girl. Mrs Valentine: Don't be silly, dear, there's no such thing. Theodore Valentine: I think I'm in love. Mrs Valentine: Nonsense, you're far too young. Theodore Valentine: I'm thirty-four. And a half. Mrs Valentine: You've got your whole life in front of you, you don't want to fritter it away on some slip of a girl! Theodore Valentine: She's exquisite, I know you'd like her. Mrs Valentine: I wouldn't count on it, dear. Theodore Valentine: I want to marry her. Mrs Valentine: Nonsense, I'd never give you my permission. Theodore Valentine: I don't need your permission, mother. Mrs Valentine: You're just like your father! He went off with some slip of a girl and he didn't ask my permission either!
Emmannuelle Prevert: They are very sexy, these guards. Leyland: When they get a butcher's at you, dear, you'll need to be on guard. Emmannuelle Prevert: What is the matter with them? They never even looked at me! Leyland: Well, they're not allowed to, not on duty. Do you know, you could strip in front of one of them and they wouldn't bat an eyelid. Emmannuelle Prevert: We will see about that. Take me to St. James' palace, Leyland.
Emmannuelle Prevert: Nudity is perfectly natural. Emile Prevert: No, no! Even Adam and Eve had a fig leaf.
Emile Prevert: I was saying, my wife is a beter diplomat than I! Emmannuelle Prevert: Yes, I have it off with everybody! Emmannuelle Prevert: Er... she means hit it off, she means she hits it off with everybody!
The Prime Minister: What were you doing in the far east, my dear? Emmannuelle Prevert: Sleeping around mostly. Emile Prevert: Er... she means sleeping around in many parts of the world.
Mrs Dangle: As anyone knows, laundrettes are better than a pub if your after a pick-up.
Harry Hernia: I'm determined to go out with a bang! Emmannuelle Prevert: That's exactly what I had in mind...