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Carry On Cleo

1964

Julius Caesar: Infamy, infamy. They've all got in for me.

Soothsayer: I will see whether the goddess will grant us a further vision. Oh Isis, sweet Isis... Hengist Pod: They're lovely. I'm very sorry sir, it's an old saying we have back in Britain.

Cleopatra: (to Hengist who is dressed as Caesar) You do not look like your bust. Julius Caesar: (who is dressed as Hengist) No, he's not. He's just a bit cracked.

(running gag) Julius Caesar: Friends, Romans... Whoever happens to be next to him: Countrymen. Julius Caesar: I know!

Julius Caesar: I've cleaned up this city. Have you forgotten my slogan? 'Nihil expectore in omnibus' - no spitting on the public transport.

Hengist Pod: My name's Pod. Hengist Post, this is my wife Senna. Horsa: Oh, that's a pretty... Hengist Pod: Pretty what? Horsa: Er... pretty name. Senna Pod: It was, 'til I married somebody called "Pod".

Mark Antony: All right, look here Marcus... Spencius: No, no, I'm Spencius. 'S my brother what's Marcus. We're in partnership now, you know. Marcus & Spencius.

Mark Antony: Look at them. All solid bone and muscle. Spencius: Bone and muscle I've got plenty of. It's brains what people want nowadays. Mark Antony: They've got brains. Artisans, every one of them. Here you, what did you do in Britain? Hengist Pod: I was a wheelmaker. Mark Antony: See that? He makes wheels. Hengist Pod: Square ones. Mark Antony: Square... Never mind. Here, you. What did you do? Horsa: I was a hunter. Spencius: A hunter? Mark Antony: A hunter! Now, what about that then? A hunter. What did you hunt? Horsa: Romans.

(Hosa comes in with WC marked on his arm) Hengist Pod: I think someone's making a convenience of you!

(The gaurd has just told Hengist that he will be going to the lions) Hengist Pod: I hope they'e a nice family! Horsa: Eh, Hengist, what he means is that you will be thrown to the lions, in the arena Hengist Pod: oh, THOSE lions! Yahhh! (Hengist jumps into Horsa's arms. Horsa puts Hengist down) Horsa: Don't worry. Head in the mouth, quick snap of the jaws and it'll all be over! Hengist Pod: Yes, but how am I going to get his head into my mouth?

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