Carry On Christmas
1973 (TV)
Santa AKA Mr Belcher: What's your name, then? Virginia: Oh, here we go. It's Virginia. Then Mum says we call her virgin for short, and then you say not for long, all right? Santa AKA Mr Belcher: (turning to Virginia's mother) She's very forward for her age! Virginia's Mother: Yes, well we had a French student living with us - she probably got it from him. Santa AKA Mr Belcher: (looks at Virginia, then turns back to face the mother) I wouldn't be at all surprised!
Captain Ffing-Burke: I don't like it. I don't like it Private Parkin: Would you like some corned beef, sir? Captain Ffing-Burke: I don't like it at all. Private Parkin: Neither do I, but you've got to eat something!
(Sgt Ball enters the trench, and explains that he was in No-Man's-Land on reconisance) Captain Ffing-Burke: Reconisance! That's a darn silly idea! Sgt. Ball: You should know - it was yours!
Private Parkin: There's someone coming! Sgt Ball: Leave this to me, sir. (aiming his rifle down the trench) Halt! Who goes there! Adelle: (from outside the trench) Amiee? Sgt Ball: A couple of frogs, sir. Advance, Amiee, and give the password. Adelle: (walking into the trench) Derrière? Sgt Ball: Derrière? I said , "Password"! Adelle: Oh, pardon, monsieur!
Santa AKA Mr Belcher: Why can't we go back to living like cavemen? I know it was a rough and ready existence - the men where always rough and the women were always ready!
Anthro Pod: How long have I been asleep? Senna Pod: Since October! Bodkin Pod: We nearly buried you twice!
Robin Hood: I shot an arrow in the air, it came to earth, I know not where! Friar Tuck: I'll show you! (stands up, and turns to reveal the arrow sticking out of his cloak) Robin Hood: You should have turned the other cheek!
Robin Hood: I'll follow you into hell itself. Maid Marion: I'm going home to Mother! Robin Hood: That's what I just said!
(Seed has introduced Crompet to Bodkin, Anthro and Senna) Crompet: Senna Pod? Oh, what a funny name! Seed Pod: It runs in the family!
(Seed Reveals that Crompet is Bodkin's Christmas Present) Bodkin Pod: What do I do with it? Seed Pod: 19 years old, and he asks, "What do I do with it?" Anthro Pod: I'll show you. Seed Pod: (bashes Anthro with a club) You will not! Anthro Pod: Why not? I taught you everything you know! Seed Pod: I don't want you teaching *him* everything I know!