Can Hieronymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?
1969
Hieronymous Merkin: "Birth of a Nation" was a hit, but imagine how amazing it would have been with a few songs and dances.
Skinny Writer: Fade out on director and writers confused and unable to think of an ending.
Hieronymous Merkin: You Hollywood people! If Van Gogh could see what you did to his life story, there goes the other ear. And if old Tootles LeTrec could see what you did to *his* life story, he'd punch you all in the knee.
Goodtime Eddie Filth: Hey, Eroticus, do you want me to throw you a line? I wish someone would throw me a line in this picture.
Hieronymous Merkin: Why couldn't we get Ingmar Bergman to direct this thing? His films never have an end. As a matter of fact, most of them don't even have a beginning!
Goodtime Eddie Filth: Hey, Anonymous... I mean, Heironymus. Where have you been? Everyone has missed you. My boy, I'd like to introduce one of my finest temptresses. Her name is Hope Climax.
(repeated line) Goodtime Eddie Filth: Definitely Hall of Flame material.
The Presence: (after being told off by Heironymus) I think I should warn you, I'm getting new material.
Fat Writer: We had to cut the part out where you go to prison. We just couldn't get a song out of it.