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Calamity Jane

1953

Calamity Jane: Make mine sarsparilly!

(the singer is a man in drag) Wild Bill Hickok: She ain't very good lookin' Calamity Jane: That ain't all she ain't.

Calamity Jane: This town ain't big enough! Not for me and that frilled-up, flirtin', man-rustlin' petticoat, it ain't!

Calamity Jane: Look at these! Silk, pure silk! I'll bet her mother spun 'em!

Calamity Jane: (singing) At last my heart's an open door / And my secret love's no secret any more.

Calamity Jane: That's better. Next time I tell a story, keep your hands in your *pockets* you toothless old buffalo!

Calamity Jane: Excitement? Why, I got more arrows in the back of that coach than a porcupine has got stickers!

Henry Miller: (looks inside stage coach) Is there a woman in here? (Indians are looking at and touching Frances clothes and bag inside the stage coach) Francis Fryer: No sir. Just Indians.

(Bill is dressed as an Indian woman with a baby) Calamity Jane: Gosh almighty, it's Bill Hickok! (proceeds to laugh along with everyone else) Wild Bill Hickok: (hands baby over) Here take him. (stands up) Wild Bill Hickok: The next man that laughs is gonna get his head ventilated. (silence and Bill sits down. Calamity laughs again after a few moments)

Calamity Jane: (singing) Hi Joe / say where'd you get them fancy clothes? / I know / off some fella's laundry line. / Hi Bow / aren't you the prairie rose / Smell like a watermelon vine.

(Katie is looking in a mirror talking to herself in a dressing room) Katie Brown: You'd like to run away wouldn't you? Catch a train get out of this crazy town. But you can't. Your trapped. There is no train. Oh clever, clever you... (starts to powder her face is startled by a knock and told she has five minutes. She looks in the mirror and sees her face is white with powder) Katie Brown: Five minutes and look at you. You haven't even got a face

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