Buffy: We have a marching jazz band? Oz: Yeah, but, you know, since the best jazz is improvisational, we'd be going off in all directions, banging into floats... scary.

Willow: I knew it. I knew it. Well, not in the sense of having the slightest idea, but I knew there was something I didn't know.

Spike: You didn't tell me. You brought her back and you didn't tell me. Xander: Well, now you know. Spike: I worked beside you all summer. Xander: We didn't tell you. It was just... we didn't, okay?

(Xander and Buffy confront Anya and Spike after catching them having sex) Xander: Don't deny it. I saw it. We all saw it! Anya: Look, Xander, it's nothing. It's just I was feeling down, and he was just there. Xander: Oh, he was just there? Like I was? Like I used to me? Anya: And then you weren't. You left me, Xander, at the altar. I don't owe you anything! Xander: So you just go out and bang the first body you can find? Dead or alive? Anya: Where do you get off judging me? Xander: When this is your solution to our problems. I hurt you, and you get me back. Very mature. Anya: No, the mature solution is for you to spend your whole life telling stupid, pointless jokes so that no one will see that you're nothing but a scared, insecure, little boy! Xander: I'm not joking now. You wanted to hurt me? Well, it worked. I look at you now and I feel sick. To think that you had sex with... that, just makes me disgusted. Spike: Hey, it's good enough for Buffy. Xander: Shut up and leave her out of... (both Xander and Anya stare in stunned silence at Buffy) Xander: No. I don't want to hear any more of this! (Xander runs off, followed by Buffy) Spike: Goody Xander. Always messing things up and still not comprehending the meaning of his own actions. You know, I wish... Anya: Don't.

Spike: I love you, Buffy!

(Angelus has just grabbed Willow) Xander: Hey! Don't do that! Angelus: Oh, I think I'll do that! Jenny Calendar: (holding up a cross) Let her go, Angelus. Willow: Angel? Jenny Calendar: He's not Angel any more. Are you? Angelus: Wrong. I am Angel... at last! Xander: Oh, my God. Angelus: And, I want to leave a message for Buffy. (Buffy appears behind Angelus) Buffy: Why don't you give it to me in person? Angelus: Gee, Buff, it's not the sort of message you tell. It sort of involves finding the mangled bodies of all your friends.

Angelus: It was a good time. It doesn't mean like we have to make a big deal. Buffy: It is a big deal. Angelus: It's what? Bells ringing, fireworks, a dulcet choir of pretty little birdies? Come on, Buffy. It's not like I've never been there before. Buffy: Don't touch me. Angelus: I should've known you wouldn't be able to handle it. Buffy: Angel. I love you. Angelus: Love you, too. (turns away) Angelus: I'll call you.

Spike: Are you insane? We're supposed to kill the bitch, not leave gag gifts in the friends' beds. Drusilla: But, Spike, the bad teacher was going to restore Angel's soul. Spike: What if she did? If you ask me, I find myself preferring the old Buffy-whipped Angelus. This new, improved one is not playing with a full sack. I love a good slaughter as much as the next bloke, but his little pranks will only leave us with one incredibly brassed-off Slayer. Angelus: Don't worry, roller boy. I've got everything under control. (a Molotov cocktail smashes through a window, setting the place afire)

Buffy: Dawn, listen to me. Listen. I love you. I will always love you. But this is the work that I have to do. Tell Giles, tell Giles I figured it out. And, and I'm okay. And give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me.

Buffy: We missed the bed again. Spike: Lucky for the bed.

Buffy: Tell me you love me. Spike: I love you, you know I do. Buffy: Tell me you want me. Spike: I always want you. It's. Buffy: Shut up.

Xander: They'll never know how tough it is, Dawnie, to be the one who isn't chosen. To live so near to the spotlight and never step in it. But I know. I see more than anybody realizes because nobody's watching me. I saw you last night. I see you working here today. You're not special. You're extraordinary.

Riley: (realizing Forrest is a zombie-robot) Oh, God. Forrest: God has nothing to do with it.

(talking to Spike) Sired Vampire: Is that all I was to you? A one-bite stand?

Jonathan: (presenting the class awards at the prom) We're not good friends. Most of us never found the time to get to know you. But that doesn't mean we haven't noticed you. We don't talk about it much, but it's no secret that Sunnydale high isn't really like other high schools. A lot of weird stuff happens here. Student: Zombies! Second student: Hyena people! Third student: Snyder! Jonathan: But whenever there was a problem or something creepy happened, you seemed to show up and stop it. Most of the people here have been saved by you or helped by you at one time or another. We're proud to say that the Class of '99 has the lowest mortality rate of any graduating class in Sunnydale history. And we know at least part of that is because of you. So the senior class offers its thanks and gives you this. It's from all of us. And it has written here - Buffy Summers Class Protector.

Jonathon: (presenting the class awards at the prom) We're not good friends. Most of us never found the time to get to know you. But that doesn't mean we haven't noticed you. We don't talk about it much, but it's no secret that Sunnydale high isn't really like other high schools. A lot of weird stuff happens here. Student: Zombies! Second student: Hyena people! Third student: Snyder! Jonathon: But whenever there was a problem or something creepy happened, you seemed to show up and stop it. Most of the people here have been saved by you or helped by you at one time or another. We're proud to say that the Class of '99 has the lowest mortality rate of any graduating class in Sunnydale history. And we know at least part of that is because of you. So the senior class offers its thanks and gives you this. It's from all of us. And it has written here - Buffy Summers Class Protector.

Principal Snyder: All right, what's in the bag? Student: My lunch. Principal Snyder: What is that, the new drug lingo? Student: No, it's my lunch.

Anya: Look, I know you find me attractive; I've seen you looking at my breasts. Xander: Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open.

Buffy: Honey, we need to talk about the invitations. Now do you wan to be William the bloody or just Spike? Coz either way it's gonna look majorly weird. Spike: Where as the name Buffy gives it that touch of classic elegance. Buffy: What wrong with Buffy? Giles: Oh, such a good question.

Giles: How did you get in? Spike: The door was unlocked. You might want to watch that, Rupert. Someone dangerous could get in. Giles: Or, someone formerly dangerous and currently annoying.

Anya: (to a customer who just finished her purchase) Please go. Xander: Anya, the Shopkeepers of America Union just called. They wanted me to tell you that Please go just got replaced with Have a nice day. Anya: But I have their money. Who cares what kind of day they have? Xander: No-one. It's just a long cultural tradition of raging insincerity. Embrace.

Spike: Okay, how 'bout this one. Twice in recent memory, she's had the lover-wiccas do a deinvite on the house. Keep out specific vamps. Ever ask yourself why she's never taken my name off the guest list? Riley: Because you're harmless Spike: Oh yeah, right. Takes one to know, I suppose. Least I still got the attitude. What do you got, a piercing glance? Face it, white bread. Buffy's got a type, and you're not it. She likes us dangerous, rough, occasionally bumpy in the forehead region. Not that she doesn't like you but sorry Charlie, you're just not dark enough.

Xander: (to Anya) I've gotta say something, 'cause I don't think I've made it clear. I'm in love with you. Powerfully, painfully in love. The things you do, the way you think, the way you move... I get excited every time I'm about to see you. You make me feel like I've never felt before in my life. Like a man. I just thought you might wanna know.

Spike: What is the bleeding problem with you bloody women? Huh? Why do you bitches torture me? Buffy: Which question do you want us to answer first?

Spike: Is everyone here very stoned?

(Snyder and the police chief survey the school after a ghostly attack) Principal Snyder: What should I say this time? Bob, Sunnydale Chief of Police: Schoolboy prank? Principal Snyder: Never sell. Bob, Sunnydale Chief of Police: The sewer lines got backed up? Principal Snyder: Better, I can probably make that one fly. But this is getting out of hand. People will talk. Bob, Sunnydale Chief of Police: You'll take care of it. Principal Snyder: I'm doing everything I can. But you people have to realize... Mr Miller: Snyder, what's going on? Principal Snyder: (to passerby) Backed-up sewer line, this happened in San Diego last week. (the passerby leaves and Snyder turns back to the police chief) Principal Snyder: We're on a Hellmouth. Sooner or later, people are going to find out. Bob, Sunnydale Chief of Police: The city council was told you could handle this job. If you feel you can't, perhaps you'd like to take that up with the Mayor. Principal Snyder: (suddenly frightened) I'll handle it. I will.

Andrew: (splitting into pairs for the final battle at the Hellmouth) We will defend it with our very lives. Anya: Yes, we will defend it with his very life.

Willow: It's a doodle. I do doodle. You too, you do doodle too.

Angelus: Fun fact about wasps. They have no taste for the undead. Not that a sting would do me any damage, it's just... tonight's special. I wanted to look my best for you. Buffy: (possessed by the ghost James) You're the only one. The only person I can talk to. Angelus: Gosh, Buff. That's really pathetic. Buffy: (faces him) You can't make me disappear just because you say it's over. Angelus: Actually... (approaches her) Angelus: I can. In fact... (Angelus is possessed by the ghost Grace) Angelus: I just want you to be able to have some kind of normal life. We can never have that, don't you see? Buffy: I don't give a damn about a normal life! I'm going crazy not seeing you. I think about you every minute.

Buffy: Angel? Angel: Hmm? Buffy: Do you snore? Angel: I don't know. It's been a long time since anybody's been in a position to let me know.

Cordelia: Guys from our grade, forget about it, they're children. Y'know? Like Jesse. Did you see him last night, following me around like a little puppy dog? You just wanna put him to sleep. But senior boys, they have mystery. They have... What's the word I'm searching for? Cars!

Buffy: No, I'm not saying she craned her neck, we are talking full-on Exorcist twist.

Buffy: I cannot believe that you of all people are trying to Scully me.

Buffy: I can just tell something is wrong - my spider sense is tingling. Giles: Your spider sense? Buffy: Pop culture reference... sorry.

Willow: When Buffy was a vampire, you weren't still, like, attracted to her, were you? Xander: Willow, how can you... I mean, that's really bent! She was... grotesque! Willow: Still dug her, huh? Xander: I'm sick, I need help. Willow: Don't I know it.

Spike: A slayer with family and friends. That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure.

Ford: I want to be one of you. A vampire. Spike: I've known you for two minutes and I can barely stand you. I don't really feature you living forever.

Cordelia: I aspire to help my fellow man. Check. As long as he's not smelly, dirty or something gross. Xander: Cordelia Chase, always ready to give a helping hand to the rich and the pretty. Cordelia: Which, lucky me, excludes you. Twice. Xander: (to Willow and Buffy) Is murder always a crime?

Willow: Well, I like you. You're nice, and you're funny, and you don't smoke. Yeah, okay, werewolf, but that's not all the time. I mean, three days out of the month I'm not much fun to be around either.

Angelus: Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping... waiting... And though unwanted... unbidden... it will stir... open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us... guides us... Passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love... the clarity of hatred... and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank... Without passion, we'd be truly dead.

Xander: Man, Buffy! My whole life just flashed before my eyes! I gotta get me a life!

Xander: He killed a person and killed himself. Those are pretty much two of the dumbest things you could do. Willow: I know, but... Well, don't you feel kind of bad for them? Buffy: Sure I feel lousy. For her. He's a murderer and he should pay for it. Willow: With his life? Buffy: No, he should be doing sixty years in a prison, breaking rocks and making special friends with Roscoe the Weightlifter. Xander: Yikes. The quality of mercy is not Buffy.

Angelus: There are moments in your life that make you, that set the course of who you're gonna be. Sometimes they're little, subtle moments. Sometimes... they're not. I'll show you what I mean.

Giles: How long exactly did you rest your eyes for? Xander: A little now, uh, a little then. But I never heard Oz leave, and he was here in the morning when I, um when I - Giles: (yells) Woke up! Xander: You could put it that way if you want to, Mr Technical.

Buffy: I thought, Homecoming Queen, I could open a yearbook someday and say, "I was there, I went to high school and had friends and for just one minute I got to live in the world." And there'd be proof. Proof I was chosen for something other than this. Besides, I look cute in a tiara.

Cordelia: What gives you the right to suck face with your demon lover again? Buffy: It was an accident! Xander: What, you just tripped and fell on his lips?

Giles: I won't remind you that the fate of the world often lies with the Slayer. What would be the point? Nor shall I remind you that you've jeopardized the lives of all that you hold dear by harboring a known murderer. But, sadly, I must remind you that Angel tortured me... for hours... for pleasure. You should have told me he was alive. You didn't. You have no respect for me or the job I perform.

Spike: Real love isn't brains, children, it's blood; it's blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.

Buffy: I can fool Giles, and I can fool my friends, but I can't fool myself Or Spike, for some reason.

Buffy: World is what it is. We fight, we die. Wishing doesn't change that. Giles: I have to believe in a better world. Buffy: Go ahead. I have to live in this one.

Buffy: Angel, you have the power to do real good, to make amends. But if you die now, then all that you ever were was a monster.

Giles: Feel up to some training? Buffy: Sure! We can work out after school, you know, if you're not too busy having sex with my *mother*!

Buffy: You're Watchers. Without a Slayer, you're pretty much just watchin' Masterpiece Theater. You can't stop Glory. You can't do anything with the information you have except maybe publish it in the "Everyone Thinks We're Insane-O's Home Journal." So here's how it's gonna work. You're gonna tell me everything you know. Then you're gonna go away. You'll contact me if and when you have any further information about Glory. The magic shop will remain open. Mr Giles will stay here as my official Watcher, reinstated at full salary... Giles: Retroactive. Buffy: ... to be paid retroactively from the month he was fired. I will continue my work with the help of my friends... Lydia: I, uh, I... don't want a sword thrown at me, but, but, civilians, I - we're talking about children. Buffy: We're talking about two very powerful witches and a thousand-year-old ex-demon. Anya: Willow's a demon?

Angel: (as Angelus) Fun fact about wasps. They have no taste for the undead. Not that a sting would do me any damage, it's just... tonight's special. I wanted to look my best for you. Buffy: (possessed by the ghost James) You're the only one. The only person I can talk to. Angel: Gosh, Buff. That's really pathetic. Buffy: (faces him) You can't make me disappear just because you say it's over. Angel: Actually... (approaches her) Angel: I can. In fact... (Angelus is possessed by the ghost Grace) Angel: I just want you to be able to have some kind of normal life. We can never have that, don't you see? Buffy: I don't give a damn about a normal life! I'm going crazy not seeing you. I think about you every minute.

(Angelus has just grabbed Willow) Xander: Hey! Don't do that! Angel: (as Angelus) Oh, I think I'll do that! Jenny Calendar: (holding up a cross) Let her go, Angelus. Willow: Angel? Jenny Calendar: He's not Angel any more. Are you? Angel: Wrong. I am Angel... at last! Xander: Oh, my God. Angel: And, I want to leave a message for Buffy. (Buffy appears behind Angelus) Buffy: Why don't you give it to me in person? Angel: Gee, Buff, it's not the sort of message you tell. It sort of involves finding the mangled bodies of all your friends.

Angel: (as Angelus) It was a good time. It doesn't mean like we have to make a big deal. Buffy: It is a big deal. Angel: It's what? Bells ringing, fireworks, a dulcet choir of pretty little birdies? Come on, Buffy. It's not like I've never been there before. Buffy: Don't touch me. Angel: I should've known you wouldn't be able to handle it. Buffy: Angel. I love you. Angel: Love you, too. (turns away) Angel: I'll call you.

Angelus: You can't do it. You can't kill me. Buffy: (kicks him in the groin) Give me time.

Anya: Well... I guess I was kinda new to being around humans before... but now I've seen a lot more, gotten to know people, seen what they're capable of. And I guess I just realized how amazingly screwed up they all are. I mean really, really screwed up in a monumental fashion. And they have no purpose that unites them, so they just drift around blundering through life until they die. Which they- they know is coming, yet every single one of them is surprised when it happens to them. They're incapable of thinking about what they want beyond the moment. They kill each other, which is clearly insane. And yet, here's the thing - when it's something that really matters, they fight. I mean, they're lame morons for fighting, but they do! They never... they never quit. So I guess I will keep fighting too.

Giles: The world is going to end. Buffy, Willow, Xander: Again?

Buffy: (Spike's chip is causing him pain even when he doesn't attack humans) There's gotta be a reason why the chip is going all wonky. Maybe it's related to the trigger. Or maybe it has something to do with the new soul. Spike: Or maybe I wasn't meant to last this long. (pause) Spike: One more thing you and I have in common, eh, pet? Buffy: Well, we'll fix it. We'll hit serious research and... Spike: (interrupting) Good. Try behavior modification software throughout the ages. Buffy: (sighs) Okay, you're right. Not a book thing. (pauses, comes to a realization) Buffy: It's a phone thing. Spike: Who ya gonna call? (awkard look from Buffy) Spike: God, that phrase isn't gonna be usable again, is it? Buffy: Doubt it.

Xander: Does this mean I have to... be your queen? Sweet: It's tempting. But I think we'll waive that clause just this once.

Buffy: (after coming out of the movies with Angel) Well. Angel: Well. Buffy: That was very... artistic. Angel: Yeah. Buffy: It wasn't what I expected. I mean I've never actually seen... Well, from the title, I thought it was about food. Angel: Well, there was food. Buffy: Right. Th- The scene with the... food. So feel like getting some hot chocolate, or some cold shower? Angel: I'm sorry. I wanted to take you out somewhere fun. It's been a long time since I've been to the movies. They've changed. Buffy: A little scary. And a little not, which is also scary. I'm sorry. I just don't like getting you worked up like that. We can't actually do any of those things. You'd lose your soul, and besides, I don't even own a kimono. Angel: Buffy, you don't have to worry about me. Buffy: I just don't like to rub your nose in it... Suddenly wondering where that expression comes from. Angel: Look, I don't need to see movies to get worked up. Just being around you does that just fine. It doesn't mean that I'm going to lose control, or that I'm going to be frustrated around you. It feels nice just to feel. Buffy: It doesn't drive you crazy when we're close? Angel: Watch this. (kiss) See? Safe as houses. (kiss again) Faith: Check out the lust bunnies. (Buffy and Angel pull away) Buffy: Patrol? (Faith nods) Angel: The council has you back on active duty? Faith: Finally. They want us down by Mercer. Buffy: Ok. (Turns toward Angel) Good night. Angel: I'll see you soon. Faith: Don't worry big guy. Just keeping her warm for you. (Buffy and Faith leave) Angel: Yeah.

Angel: (while walking back to the library) Are you mad at me for being round too much or for not being around enough? Buffy: Duh, yes. Angel: Which? Buffy: What? Angel: I don't get you. Buffy: No, you don't. Not any more. Angel: Are you just making this harder to make it easier on yourself? Buffy: Can we stop with the brainteasers? I just wish this was over. Done. Angel: Huh. It's not that simple. Once the mayor ... Buffy: I know. World in peril and we have to work together. This is my last office romance, I'll tell you that. Angel: You want me out of your face? (throws down the box of books and starts to walk away) Buffy: Isn't it a little hard for you? Angel: How can you ask me that? Just 'cause I'm not acting like a brat doesn't mean I don't feel anything. Buffy: Nice to know what you think of me. Angel: What do you expect me to say when you just attack? Buffy: I just can't do this any more. I can't have you in my life when I'm trying to move o- (Angel gets shot and they both fall to the ground) Angel! Vampire: Missed the heart. Faith: Meant to.

Buffy: OK, ready? Angel: Yeah. Buffy: On 3. 1... (pulls out arrow) Angel: Ahh. I knew you were gonna do that. Giles: Not too much blood here. Angel: I heal pretty fast. I should be all right. Buffy: I'm just glad Faith is such a suck shot. Giles: We're sure it was her? Buffy: I've narrowed down my list of one suspect. Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Fascinating. Giles: What? Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It seems our Mr Worth headed an expedition in Kauai, digging through old lava beds near a dormant volcano. Buffy: I'm not fascinated yet. Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: He found something underneath. A carcass, buried by an eruption. Giles: A carcass? Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: A very large one. Mr Worth posits that it might be some heretofore undiscovered dinosaur. Angel: A demon? Giles: Yes, that would be something the mayor would want to keep a secret. If it's the same kind of demon he's turning into and it's dead, it means... well, he's only impervious to harm until the ascension. In it's demon form, it can be killed. Buffy: Great. So all we need is a million tons of burning lava. We're saved. Angel: Well, it's a start anyway - (as he tries to stand up) Buffy: Ok, you have been a real klutz today. You need to ... Angel: Damn. (ss he falls to the ground)

Willow: (in Angel's house after he was poisoned) You're awake. Angel: You - you've been watching over me? (grabs Willow's hand and kisses it) Willow: Well, we've been taking turns. Angel: I thought... I thought I'd never see you again. I can't leave you. I-I... I was wrong. I need you. Willow: Oh. You mean you need Buffy. Angel: (looking confused) Willow? Willow: Yes. Right. Willow. Angel: Where is she? Willow: She'll be back soon. (Angel falls back asleep and Willow leaves) Oz: Any change? Willow: He's delirious. He thought I was Buffy. Oz: You too, huh? Willow: I hope she gets here soon. She'd better if ... Oz: Yeah.

Willow: (Giles, Willow, Xander and Buffy in the library discussing vamp Willow) This is creepy. I don't like the thought that there's a vampire out there that looks like me. Xander: Not looks like... is. Buffy: It was exactly you, Will, every detail. Except for your not being a dominatrix... as far as we know. Willow: Oh, right. Me and Oz play Mistress of Pain every night. Xander: Did anyone else go to a scary visual place? Buffy: Oh, yeah. Angel: Buffy, I... something's happened that... Willow's dead. (no-one looks surprised) Angel: (Angel sees Willow) Hey, Willow. (takes another look at her) Angel: Wait a second. (looking very freaked out) Xander: We're right there with you, buddy. Buffy: We saw her too. At the Bronze. Angel: (turns to Willow, and back to Buffy) OK. Uh. She's there now with a cadre of vampires looking to party. Buffy: We can figure out who she is after we stop the feeding frenzy. (all exit the library)

Harmony: (to Spike) I gave you the best... bunch of months of my life!

Tara: I thought vengeance demons only punished men who wronged women. Halfrek: Oh, that was Anya's little raison d'e?tre. Most of us try to be a little more well-rounded. And actually, we prefer 'justice demon.' Okay? FYI.

Xander: Right, you can't just go 'librum incendere' and expect... (the page he is reading from bursts into flame. Xander looks at it in shock, then slams it shut to put out the flames) Giles: Xander, don't speak Latin in front of the books

Buffy: Angel was cured. Giles: I'm sorry? Buffy: When I killed him, Angel was cured. Your spell worked at the last minute, Will. I was about to take him out, and, um... something went through him... and he was Angel again. He-he didn't rememebr anything that he'd done. He just held me. Um, but i-it was... it was too late, and I, I had to. So I, I told him that I loved him... and I kissed him... and I killed him... I don't know if that helps with your spell or not, Giles. Giles: Uh, yes, I, I believe it will. Willow: I'm sorry. Buffy: It's okay. I've been holding onto that for so long. Felt good to get it out... I'll see you guys later. Willow: Giles, I know you don't like me playing with mystical forces, but I can really help with this binding spell. Giles: There is no spell.

Buffy: All right, what do you want? Spike: I told you. I want to help you stop Angel. I... I want to save the world. Buffy: Okay... and you do remember you're a vampire right? Spike: We like to talk big, vampires do. "I'm going to destroy the world." It's just tough guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I like this world. You've got... dog racing, Manchester United, and you've got people. Billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. But then someone comes along with a vision. With a real... passion for destruction. Angel could pull it off. Goodbye, Piccadilly. Farewell, Leicester Bloody Square. You know what I'm saying?

Dawn: You wanna know what I'm scared of, Spike? Me. Right now, Glory thinks Tara's the Key. But I'm the Key, Spike. I am. And anything that happens to Tara... is 'cause of me. Your bruises, your limp... that's all me, too. I'm like a lightning rod for pain, and hurt... and everyone around me suffers and dies. I must be something so horrible to cause so much pain and evil. Spike: Rot. Dawn: What do you know? Spike: I'm a vampire. I know something about evil. You're not evil. Dawn: Maybe I'm not evil. But I don't think I can be good. Spike: Well, I'm not good, and I'm okay.

Buffy: She was looking to go all payback-y on Glory for a minute, but I cooled her down a little. Actually a lot. Spike: So, she's not gonna do anything rash then. Buffy: No. I explained there was no point. Spike: Mm-hmm. Buffy: What? Spike: You... so you're saying that a powerful and mightily pissed off witch was planning on going and spilling herself a few pints of god blood until you, what... "explained"? Buffy: You think she... ? No. I told Willow it would be like suicide. Spike: I'd do it. Right person. Person I loved. I'd do it.

(a student has been murdered) Cordelia: All I can think is, it coulda been me. Xander: We can dream.

Giles: We are not your friends. We are not your way to Buffy. There is no way to Buffy. Clear out of here. And Spike, this thing, get over it. Spike: I don't know what you mean. Giles: Yes you do. Move the hell on.

Giles: I don't understand. What did this? (Buffy's final line) Buffy: Spike.

(a bloodied Spike is thrown out of Willy's Bar by a group of angry demons) Rough-Looking Demon: What did you expect Spike? A welcome party? Word's out you've been making war on the demon world. Spike: War? Rough-Looking Demon: With the Slayer! You kill other demons, and the rest of us don't hold with that. We have a code. We never kill our own kind whatever the circumstance. Still, if I see you around here again, I'll be inclined to break that code!

Spike: Are you insane? We're supposed to kill the bitch, not leave gag gifts in the friends' beds. Drusilla: But, Spike, the bad teacher was going to restore Angel's soul. Spike: What if she did? If you ask me, I find myself preferring the old Buffy-whipped Angelus. This new, improved one is not playing with a full sack. I love a good slaughter as much as the next bloke, but his little pranks will only leave us with one incredibly brassed-off Slayer. Angel: (as Angelus) Don't worry, roller boy. I've got everything under control. (a Molotov cocktail smashes through a window, setting the place afire)

Buffy: Will, you know how bad I feel about this. It's eating me up... (to Anya) Buffy: 1/4 Cup of brandy and let it simmer. (to Willow) Buffy: But even though it's hard, we have to end this. Yes, he's been wronged, And I personally would be ready to apologize. Spike: Oh, someone put a stake in me. Xander: You got a lot of volunteers in here. Spike: I just can't take all this namby-pamby boo-hooing about the bloody indians. Willow: Uh, the preferred term... Spike: You won. All right? You came in and you killed them and you took their land. That's what conquering nations do. It's what Caesar did, and he's not going around saying, "I came, I conquered, I felt really bad about it." The history of the world isn't people making friends. You had better weapons, and you massacred them. End of story. Buffy: Well, I think the Spaniards actually did a lot of - Not that I don't like Spaniards. Spike: Listen to you. How you gonna fight anyone with that attitude? Willow: We don't wanna fight anyone. Buffy: I just wanna have thanksgiving. Spike: Heh heh. Yeah... Good luck. Willow: If we could talk to him... Spike: You exterminated his race. What could you possibly say that would make him feel better? It's kill or be killed here. Take your bloody pick. Xander: Maybe it's the syphilis talking, but... Some of that made sense.

(to Jonathan) Xander: Oh! Oh! He's like, your kryptonite.

Xander: No, it's just... this Malcolm guy? What's his deal? I mean, tell me you're not slightly wigged. Buffy: Okay, slightly. I mean, just not knowing what he's really like. Xander: Or who he really is. I mean, sure he says he's a high school student, but I can say I'm a high school student. Buffy: You are. Xander: Okay, but I can also say that I'm an elderly Dutch woman. Get me? I mean, who's to say I'm not if I'm in the elderly Dutch chat room? Buffy: I get your point! (gets his point) I get your point. Oh, this guy could be anybody. He could be weird, or crazy, or old, or... He could be a circus freak. (panicked) He's probably a circus freak! Xander: Yeah. I mean, we read about it all the time. Y'know, people meet on the 'Net, they talk, they get together, have dinner, a show, horrible ax murder. Buffy: Willow ax murdered by a circus freak... Okay, okay, what do we do? (realizes her paranoia) What are we doing? Xander, you get me started! We are totally overreacting! Xander: But it's fun, isn't it?

Buffy: You know, chocolate is the cure to everything. Willow: I think I'm gonna puke... Buffy: Except that. Giles: Bloody hell! The inscription! Buffy: What's it say? Giles: Actual size.

Giles: How did you know it was me? Buffy: Your eyes. You're the only person in the world that can look that annoyed with me.

Spike: Look at you. All afraid I'm hot for your honey. Riley: Because you are. Spike: Well... yeah. But that's not your problem. Even if I wasn't in the picture, you're never gonna be able to hold onto her.

(Anya and Willow are about to do a spell) Anya: This isn't gonna get all sexy, is it? Willow: I'd be shocked.

Buffy: We saved the world. I say we party.

Xander: How can I say this clearly? I don't like you. At the end of the day, I pretty much think you're a vampire. But Buffy's got this big old yen for you. She thinks you're a real person. And right now I need you to prove her right. Angel: You're in love with her. Xander: Aren't you?

Willow: Happy hunting. Buffy: Wish me monsters.

Angel: Do you love me? Buffy: What? Angel: Do you? Buffy: I love you. I don't know if I trust you.

Spike: Harm, what are you doing? Harmony Kendall: I'm writing "Spike loves Harmony" on your back. Spike: Why? Harmony Kendall: I don't know, it's fun. I'm bored. You can write on me. Spike: I've got to get back to work. Harmony Kendall: You love that tunnel more than me. Spike: I love syphilis more than you.

Buffy: Professor Walsh, that simple little recon you sent me on... wasn't a raccoon. Turns out it was me trapped in the sewers with a faulty weapon and two of your pet demons. If you think that's enough to kill me, you *really* don't know what a Slayer is. Trust me when I say you're gonna find out.

Ken: Ricky's no more dead than I am.

Larry: This is our year, I'm telling you. Best football season ever. I'm so in shape, I'm a rock. It's all about egg whites. If we can focus, keep discipline, and not have quite so many mysterious deaths, Sunnydale is gonna *rule!*

Ken: That... was not... *permitted*. Buffy: Yeah, but it was fun.

Buffy: I don't want any trouble. I just wanna be alone and quiet in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy. I don't even know what a tea cozy is, but I want one.

Xander: It's time for me to act like a man... and hide!

Willow: (Spike has returned to Sunnydale after Drusilla has left him. In an attempt to get her back, Sike has kidnapped Xander and Willow in the hopes that Willow will perform a love spell for him) I'm not a real witch, you know. I'm not... sure it'll work right away. Spike: Well, if at first you don't succeed, (pointing to Xander) I kill him and you try again.

Willow: But you have whipped cream. I saw it Giles's fridge. Buffy: But that's whipped cream in a canister. It's only right if you whip it yourself. Willow: Hey, and then later, we can churn our own butter and make sweaters out of sheep.

(the Yoko Factor - after Buffy returns from seeing Angel in LA) Riley: I don't know much about Angel, or your relationship with him, but all I ask is, if you're gonna break my heart, do it fast. Buffy: What? You think that Angel and I... Riley: Didn't you? Buffy: No. Of course not. How can you even ask me that? Riley: I don't know. Xander said... Buffy: Xander? Oh, he's the deadest man in Deadonia!

Spike: In my head. The chip in my head. Warren Meers: We're kind of in the middle of something. Spike: Well, you can play holodeck another time. Right now, I'm in charge. Warren Meers: Yeah, what are you gonna do if we don't especially feel like maybe playing your... (Spike rips Boba Fett action figire off its base) Warren Meers: What are - wait, what are you doing? Spike: Examine my chip or else Mr Fett here is the first to die. Jonathan: Hey! All - All right. Let's not - Let's not not do anything crazy here. Andrew Wells: That's a limited edition, 1979 mint condition Boba Fett. Warren Meers: All right, dude, chill. You can still make it right. You know you don't wanna do this. Spike: What I want is answers, nimrod! Warren Meers: Right. But you don't want to hurt the Fett... because, man, you're not coming back from that! Spike: That right? Let's find out. (about to rip head off of action figure) Warren Meers: One sec - Once second.

Buffy: (sighing) We need to find Willow. Xander: Yeah, she's really off the wagon big-time. Warren's a dead man if she finds him. Dawn: (bitterly) Good. Buffy: Dawn, don't say that. Dawn: Why not? I'd do it myself if I could. Buffy: Because you don't really feel that way. Dawn: Yes I do. And you should too. He killed Tara, and he nearly killed you. He needs to pay. Xander: Out of the mouths of babes. Buffy: Xander. Xander: I'm just saying he's... Dawn's right. We have to kill Warren. He's just as bad as any murderous vampire you've sent to dustville. Buffy: Being a Slayer doesn't give me a license to kill. Warren's human. Dawn: (scoffs) So? Buffy: So the human world has its own rules for dealing with people like him. Xander: (scoffs) Yeah, we all know how well those rules work. Buffy: Sometimes they do. And... you're right, sometimes they don't. Look, we can't control the universe. If we were supposed to... then the magic wouldn't change Willow the way it does. And... we'd be able to bring Tara back. Dawn: (quietly) And Mom. Buffy: There are limits to what we can do. There should be. Willow doesn't want to believe that. And now she's messing with forces that want to hurt her. All of us. Xander: I know, it's just... I've had blood on my hands all day. Blood from people I love. Buffy: I know. And now it has to stop. Warren's going to get what he deserves, I promise! But I will not let Willow destroy herself.

Old Xander Harris: I'm you from the future. Xander: Oh, from the future. For a minute there I thought you were a nutbag, but now that you're from the future...

Andrew: Get out of my brain!

Buffy: (as The First) Oh no... Ow! Mommy, this mortal wound is all... itchy. You pulled a nice trick. You came pretty close to smacking me down. What more do you want? Buffy: (through gritted teeth) I want you... (sits up) Buffy: to get out of my face. (stands)

Cordelia: (referring to Wesley) Check out Giles: The Next Generation.

Willow: Did you find out anything about the scythe? Buffy: It slices, dices, and makes julienne preacher. Giles: Caleb? Willow: All right! Anya: He had that coming. Xander: Hey, party in my eye socket, and everyone's invited. (everyone stares at Xander) Xander: Sometimes I shouldn't say words.

Faith: It's pretty radical, B. Giles: It's more than that. Buffy, what you said, it-it flies in the face of everything we've ever - every generation has ever done in the fight against evil. I think it's bloody brilliant. Buffy: You mean that? Giles: If you want my opinion.

Caleb: I will overrun this earth. And when my army outnumbers the humans on this earth... the scales will tip, and I will be made flesh. Buffy: Talk on. I'm not afraid of you. Caleb: Then why aren't you asleep in your dead lover's arms? 'Cause he can't help you. Nor Faith. Nor your friends. Certainly not your wanna-slay brigade. None of those girlies will ever know real power unless you're dead. Now, you know the drill. (the First turns into Buffy) Buffy: Into every generation, a Slayer is born. One girl in all the world. She alone will have the strength and skill to - There's that word again. What you are. How you'll die - alone. Where's your snappy comeback? Buffy: You're right. Buffy: Hmm. Not your best.

Warren Meers: (appears with gun) You think you can just do that to me? You think I'd let you get away with it? Think again! (fires gun)

Buffy: I don't know what it is, Spike, but I know there's something you're not telling me. Spike: You're right, there is; but we aren't best friends anymore. So, too bad for me. I'm not sharing. We've been through things, the end of the world and back. I can be useful because, honestly, I've got nothing better to do. You can make use of me if you want.

Angel: You and me, Faith, we're a lot alike. Time was, I thought humans existed just to hurt each other. But then I came here. And I found out that there are other types of people. People who genuinely wanted to do right. And they make mistakes. And they fall down. You know, but they keep caring. Keep trying. If you can trust us, Faith, this can all change. You don't have to disappear into the darkness.

Xander: (Upon finding Spike trying to stake himself) We've shared a lot here. You should have trusted me enough to do it for you. Willow: Xander. Xander: What? He wants to die, I wanna help... Willow: It's ooky. We know him. We can't just let him poof himself. Spike: Oh, but you can. You know I'd drain you drier than the Sahara if I had half a chance.

Buffy: Hi. Angel: Hi. Buffy: So, is there danger at the Bronze? Should I beware? Angel: I can't help thinking I've done something to make you angry. And that bothers me more than I'd like. Buffy: I'm not angry. I don't know where that comes from. Angel: What are you afraid of? Me? Us? Buffy: Could you contemplate getting over yourself for a second? There's no 'us'. Look, Angel, I'm sorry if I was supposed to spend the summer mooning over you, but I didn't. I moved on. To the living.

Buffy: I don't know what to do. Angel: Then let me decide for you. I can face this thing. Buffy: You can't. Angel: Look, I, I can at least buy you enough time for Willow's spell to bind it. Buffy, this is worse than anything we've ever faced. It's the only way. Buffy: I can't watch you die again. Angel: I love you. Buffy: I love you. Angel: Nothing can change that. Not even death.

(Buffy has learned that Giles has robbed her of her powers for a Council test) Giles: You have to listen to me. Because I've told you this, the test is invalidated. You will be safe now, I promise you. Now, whatever I have to do to deal with Kralik... and to win back your trust... Buffy: You stuck a needle in me. You poisoned me. Cordelia: What's going on? Oh, God. Is the world ending? I have to research a paper on Bosnia for tomorrow, but if the world's ending, I'm not gonna bother. Giles: You can't walk home alone, Buffy. It isn't safe. Buffy: I don't know you. Cordelia: Did something take her memory? He's Giles. Giiillles. He hangs out here a lot. Buffy: Cordelia, could you please drive me home? Cordelia: Of course. But if the world doesn't end, I'm gonna need a note.

Riley: (realizing Forrest is a zombie-robot) Oh God. Forrest: God has nothing to do with it.

(after Spike slays a vampire for her) Buffy: Spike. Why did you do that? Spike: Not for money, if that's what you're thinkin'. Your heartfelt gratitude is plenty. Expect I'll be getting that any moment. Buffy: Gratitude? For getting in my way? Spike: Getting in your way? I saved you. Buffy: I was regrouping. Spike: You were about to be regrouped into separate piles. You needed help. Buffy: I didn't need you. I never need you, Spike. Spike: Oh, I get it. You just don't like who did the rescuing, that's all. Wishin' I was your boyfriend what's-his-height - oh wait, he's run off. Buffy: You know what? I don't need a boyfriend. To rescue me or for any other reason. Spike: Don't need or can't keep? You keep making notches on the headboard, but eventually they get out of bed and run off, don't they? Buffy: You're disgusting. Spike: Rough talk. Maybe that's your problem - maybe you push 'em away? Or is it the other - maybe you cling too much? Or maybe... your beauty's fading. The stress of slaying aging you prematurely. Things not as high, not as firm. Buffy: You know what, Spike? The more I get to know you, the more I wish I didn't. Spike: Or maybe you just don't hold their interest. (walks away)

Riley: You actually think you've got a shot with her? Spike: No, I don't. Fella's gotta try, though. Gotta do what he can. Riley: If you touched her... you know I'd kill you for real. Spike: If I had this chip outta my head, I'd have killed you long ago. Ain't love grand?

Spike: Something's happening to me. I can't stop thinking about you. And if that means turning my back on the whole evil... Buffy: You don't know what you mean. You don't know what feelings are. Spike: I damn well do. I lie awake every night... Buffy: You sleep during the day. Spike: Yeah but- you are missing the point. This is real here. I lov... Buffy: Don't. Don't say it. I'm going.

Willow: Uh, Angel? If I say something you really don't wanna hear, do you promise not to bite me? Angel: Are you gonna tell me that I'm jealous? Willow: Well, you do sometimes get that way. Angel: You know, I never used to. Things used to be pretty simple. A hundred years, just hanging out, feelin' guilty... I really honed my brooding skills. Then she comes along. Yeah, I get jealous. But I know people. And my gut tells me this is a wrong guy.

(Spike can't bite Willow) Spike: I don't understand. This sort of thing has never happened to me before. Willow: Maybe you were nervous. Spike: I felt all right when it started. Well let's try it again. (Spike tries to bite Willow and he backs off screaming in pain) Spike: Damn it. What's wrong with me? Willow: Maybe you're trying too hard. Doesn't this happen to every vampire? Spike: Not to me it doesn't. Willow: It's me isn't it? Spike: What are you talking about? Willow: Well you came here looking for Buffy, and settled. You didn't want to bite me, I just happened to be around. Spike: Piffle. Willow: I know I'm not the kind of girl vamps like to sink their teeth into. It's all ways, "ooo, you're like a sister to me," or "oh, we're such good friends." Spike: Don't be ridiculous. I'd bite you in a heartbeat. Willow: This doesn't make you anymore scary. Spike: Don't patronize me. I'm only 126 years old. Willow: Your being too hard on yourself. Why we don't wait a half an hour and try again?

Anya: It's like we live in Slayer Central. I swear, if Buffy rooms or boards one more of the potential girls, I'm gonna call a health inspector. Spike: I like my plan better. Get up, get out, get drunk, repeat as needed. It's just more elegant.

Buffy: You know me, not much with the damseling.

Cassie Newton: (as the First) You don't know hurt. This last year is going to seem like cake after what I put you and your friends through and I am not a fan of easy death. Fact is, the whole good versus evil, balancing the scale, I'm over it. I'm done with the moral coil, but believe me, I'm going for a big finish. Willow: From beneath you, it devours. Cassie Newton: Oh, not it. Me.

Kralik: (to Buffy's mother) Mother. May I call you "mother"? My own mother was a person with no self-respect of her own, so she tried to take mine. Ten years old, she had the scissors. You wouldn't believe what she took with those. But she's dead to me now. Mostly because I killed and ate her, but also because I know I won't be alone much longer. I'll have your daughter. I won't kill her - I'll just make her like me. Different. She'll go to sleep, and when she wakes up, your face will be the first thing she eats. (considers) I have a problem with mothers. I'm aware of that.

Spike: You'd think if the government was gonna put a chip in my head, they'd at least make it so that I could attack criminals and that sort. Buffy: Right, because muggers deserve to be eaten. You'll just have to get your rocks off fighting demons. Spike: (looking at her suggestively) There are other ways. Buffy: And to that, an extreme "See you later."

Spike: So you wanna jump right to the kissing, then, eh? Buffy: I am not kissing you, Spike. Once was... Spike: Twice.

Buffy: I now have my weapons categorized from A to Z, from "axe" to... "zee other axe".

Buffy: (answers phone) Hello, Magic Box. Spike: (deep voice) Slayer. Buffy: Spike? Spike: (deep voice) Meet me at the cemetery. 20 minutes. Come alone. Buffy: Spike? Spike: (mutters under breath) Bloody hell. (normal voice) Yes, it's me. Buffy: You're... calling me on the phone? Spike: Just be there. Buffy: Why? Are you helping again? You have a lead on this frost monster thingy? Spike: Something like that, yeah. Thought you might be up for a little grunt work. Buffy: What? (whispering) No, no grunting! Spike: (pause) I was talking shop, luv, but if you've got other ideas. You. Me. Cosy little tomb with a view. (Buffy hangs up quickly)

Buffy: You were parking? With a vamp? Dawn: I-I didn't know he was dead! Justin: Living dead Dawn: Shut up! Buffy: How could you not know? Dawn: I just met him Buffy: Oh, so you went parking in the woods with a boy you just met.

Giles: (after Anya decides to have an after-holiday sale) Brooms all around, then. Willow: Or I could whip up a jaunty self-cleaning incantation. It'll be like Fantasia. Giles: We all know how splendidly that turned out for Mickey. Willow: I think I'm a little more adept than a cartoon mouse. Tara: And you have more fingers which is good... cause then there's no need to wear those big, white gloves to overcompensate.

Spike: Strong. Someday he'll be a real boy.

Angel: You know, I started it. The whole... having a soul thing. Before it was all the "cool new thing". Buffy: Oh, my God, are you twelve? Angel: I'm getting the brush off for Captain Peroxide. It doesn't necessarily bring out the champion in me. Buffy: You're not getting the brush off. Are you just going to come here and go all Dawson on me every time I have a boyfriend? Angel: Aha! Boyfriend! Buffy: He's not. But he is in my heart. Angel: That'll end well. Buffy: And what was the highlight of our relationship? When you broke up with me or when I killed you?

Giles: Jonathan? How's he? Buffy: Pretty crappy. His parents are freaking. He got suspended. And toting a piece to school, not exactly winning him a place with the in-crowd. But, I think he's dealing. Giles: Well, it's good of you to check on him. Buffy: Well, it's nice to be able to help someone in a non-slaying capacity. Except, he's starting to get that look, you know, like he's gonna ask me to Prom. Giles: Well, it would probably be good for his self-esteem, if you... Buffy: Oh come on. What am I, Saint Buffy? He's like three feet tall.

Buffy: They're gonna expect me to... to be like a Slayer and, and know stuff, but I'm just me and I don't know anything and they're gonna to go away and they're not gonna tell me how to fight Glory and I'm not gonna be able to protect Dawn. Giles: Buffy, calm down. The scandal here is not anything you've done wrong, it's the way they're behaving. Holding what they know hostage, with a gun pointed at my bleeding green card no less. It's humiliating. Buffy: Also smart. They picked the perfect thing. I can't lose you.

Willow: What about Angel? Buffy: Angel? I can just see him in a relationship. 'Hi, honey, you're in grave danger. I'll see you next month.' Willow: He's not around much, it's true. Buffy: When he is around... it's like the lights dim everywhere else. You know how it's like that with some guys? Willow: Oh, yeah.

Buffy: You're Watchers. Without a Slayer, you're pretty much just watchin' Masterpiece Theater. You can't stop Glory. You can't do anything with the information you have except maybe publish it in the "Everyone Thinks We're Insane-O's Home Journal." So here's how it's gonna work. You're gonna tell me everything you know. Then you're gonna go away. You'll contact me if and when you have any further information about Glory. The magic shop will remain open. Mr Giles will stay here as my official Watcher, reinstated at full salary... Giles: Retroactive. Buffy: ... to be paid retroactively from the month he was fired. I will continue my work with the help of my friends... Watcher: I, uh, I... don't want a sword thrown at me, but, but, civilians, I - we're talking about children. Buffy: We're talking about two very powerful witches and a thousand-year-old ex-demon. Anya: Willow's a demon?

(Buffy is pretending to be the Buffybot) Buffy: Why did you let that Glory hurt you? Spike: She wanted to know who the key was. Buffy: Oh, well, I can tell her, and then you'll... Spike: No. You can't ever. Glory never finds out. Buffy: Why? Spike: 'Cause Buffy... the other, not so pleasant Buffy... anything happened to Dawn, it'd destroy her. I couldn't live, her bein' in that much pain. Let Glory kill me first. Nearly bloody did.

Faith: I'm looking at you, everything you have, and, I don't know, jealous. Then there I am. Everybody's looking to me, trusting me to lead them, and I've never felt so alone in my entire life. Buffy: Yeah. Faith: And that's you every day, isn't it? Buffy: I love my friends. I'm very grateful for them. But that's the price. Being a slayer. Faith: There's only supposed to be one. Maybe that's why you and I can never get along. We're not supposed to exist together. Buffy: Also, you went evil and were killing people. Faith: Good point. Also a factor. Buffy: But you're right. I mean, I... I guess everyone's alone. But being a slayer? There's a burden we can't share. Faith: And no one else can feel it. Thank God we're hot chicks with superpowers.

Giles: I'm not supposed to have a private life? Buffy: No. Because you're very, very old and it's gross.

Professor Maggie Walsh: So, the Slayer. Buffy: Yeah, that's me. Professor Maggie Walsh: We thought you were a myth. Buffy: Well, you were myth-taken.

(Willow has found out Xander and Cordelia are together) Xander: I know it's weird... Willow: Weird? It's against all laws of God and Man. It's Cordelia. Remember? The, the 'We Hate Cordelia' club, of which you are the treasurer. Xander: Look, I was gonna tell you. Willow: Gee, what stopped you? Could it be shame? Xander: All right, let's overreact, shall we? Willow: But I'm... Xander: Willow, we were just kissing. It doesn't mean that much. Willow: No. It just means that you'd rather be with someone you hate than be with me.

Willow: Do you wanna make out with me? Oz: What? Willow: Forget it. I'm sorry. Well, do you? Oz: Sometimes when I'm sitting in class... You know, I'm not thinking about class, 'cause that would never happen. I think about kissing you. And it's like everything stops. It's like, it's like freeze frame. Willow kissage. Oh, I'm not gonna kiss you. Willow: What? But freeze frame. Oz: Well, to the casual observer, it would appear that you're trying to make your friend Xander jealous or even the score or something. And that's on the empty side. See, in my fantasy when I'm kissing *you*, you're kissing *me*. It's okay. I can wait.

Buffy: It's over. Spike: I've memorized this tune, luv. Think I have the sheet music. Doesn't change what you want. Buffy: I know that. I do want you. Being with you... makes things... simpler. For a little while. Spike: I don't call five hours straight a little while. Buffy: I'm using you. I can't love you. I'm just... being weak, and selfish... Spike: Really not complaining here. Buffy: And it's killing me. I have to be strong about this. I'm sorry William.

(the gang angrily confronts Buffy on Angel's return) Giles: To hide this, to take this in your own hands... Buffy: I was going to tell you. But I didn't know why he was back or anything. I wanted to wait. Xander: For what? For Angel to go psycho again the next time you give him a happy? Buffy: I'm not going to... We're not together like that. Oz: But you were kissing him. Buffy: (to Xander) You were spying on me? What gives you the right? Cordelia: What gives you the right to suck face with your demon lover again? Buffy: It was an accident. Xander: What? You just tripped and fell on his lips? Buffy: It was wrong. It can't happen again. But I... I'd never put you guys in danger. If I knew Angel was going to hurt anyone... Xander: You'd stop him? Like you tried when he took out Miss Calendar? Buffy: Gee, you'd just love a reason to kill him. Wouldn't you? Xander: I don't need a reason. A lot of dead people, including Jenny Calendar, already constitutes a reason.

Spike: Oh, poor little lost girl. She doesn't fit in anywhere. She's got no one to love. Buffy: Me? I'm lost? Look at you, you idiot. Poor Spikey. Can't be a human, can't be a vampire. Where the hell do you fit in? Your job is to kill the slayer. But all you can do is follow me around making moon eyes. Spike: I'm in love with you. Buffy: You're in love with pain. Admit it. You like me... because you enjoy getting beat down. So really, who's screwed up? Spike: Hello. Vampire. I'm supposed to be treading on the dark side. What's your excuse?

Buffy: I love you. Spike: No, you don't. But thanks for sayin' it.

Buffy: Oh, Spike, devour me. Spike: All right. Buffy: Spike, I can't help myself. I love you. Spike: You're mine, Buffy. Buffy: Should I start this program over? Spike: Shh. No programs, don't use that word. Just be Buffy.

Buffy: I just don't want you to get your hopes up. Xander: Hopes? Oh, no no no no. There are no hopes. Anya and I are done. I love being single. I'm a strong, successful male who's giddy at the thought of all the women I will no doubt be dating in the near future. Buffy: Strong, successful males say "giddy"?

Buffy: Well, I've got a news flash for you, braintrust: that's not how it works. You die, and a demon sets up shop in your old house, and it walks, and it talks, and it remembers your life, but it's not you. Ford: It's better than nothing. Buffy: And your life is nothing? Ford, these people don't deserve to die. Ford: Well, neither do I. But apparently no one took that into consideration, 'cause I'm still dying.

Ford: I'm sorry, Summers. Did I screw up your righteous anger riff? Does the nest of tumors liquefying my brain kinda spoil the fun? Buffy: I'm sorry. I had no idea. But what you're doing is still very wrong. Ford: Okay, well, you try vomiting for twenty-four hours straight because the pain in your head is so intense, and then we'll discuss the concept of right and wrong. These people are sheep. They wanna be vampires 'cause they're lonely, miserable or bored. I don't have a choice. Buffy: You have a choice. You don't have a good choice, but you have a choice. You're opting for mass murder here, and nothing you say is gonna make that okay.

Willow: Ask her to dance. Riley: Right. Dance. Wait. No. Willow: What's the matter? Riley: I can't dance. Willow: Then, talk. Keep eye contact. Funny is good, but don't be glib. And remember, if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel. (Riley looks frightened) A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend.

Andrew Wells: Hi everybody. I missed you guys a lot. Sorry it took so long to get back from our mission-mission, but we had to wait out the sun. Well, I think our mission went very well. We, uh, we rode on Spike's hog, which was very cool, and, uh, played some amusing games, and - oh. We got some new information. You know what? I really need to urinate. Spike: He's a breath of fresh air, isn't he? Thank God I don't breathe.

Giles: It's not over. I-I-I suppose you know that. He'll come after you, particularly. His profile, uh, well, he? he's likely to strike.

Buffy: You must be so disappointed in me. Giles: No. No, no, I'm not. Buffy: But this is all my fault. Giles: No. I don't believe it is. Do you want me to wag my finger at you and tell you that you acted rashly? You did. A-and I can. I know that you loved him. And... he... has proven more than once that he loved you. You couldn't have known what would happen. The coming months a-are gonna, are gonna be hard... I, I suspect on all of us, but... if it's guilt you're looking for, Buffy, I'm, I'm not your man. All you will get from me is, is my support. And my respect.

Joyce: I don't have to tell you that you and Buffy come from different worlds. Angel: No, you don't. Joyce: Good. Because when it comes to you, Angel, Buffy's not a Slayer. She's just like any other young woman in love. You're all she can see of tomorrow. But I think we both know there's gonna be some hard choices ahead. If she can't make them, you're going to have to. I know you care about her. I just hope you care enough.

Xander: But you missed the point. You shut down, Buffy. And you've been treating Riley like the rebound guy. When he's the one that comes along once in a lifetime. He's never held back with you. He's risked everything. And you're about to let him fly because you don't like ultimatums? If he's not the guy, if what he needs from you just isn't there, let him go. Break his heart, and make it a clean break. But if you really think you can love this guy... I'm talking scary, messy, no-emotions-barred need... if you're ready for that... then think about what you're about to lose.

Spike: Last night was... God, I'm such a jerk. I can't do this. Buffy: Spike... Spike: It was the best night of my life. If you poke fun at me you bloody well better use that 'cause I couldn't bear it. It may not mean that much to you. Buffy: I just told you it did. Spike: I know, I hear you say it, but... I've lived for sodding ever, Buffy, I've done everything ? I've done things with you I can't spell, but I've never? been close. To anyone, least of al you? until last night. All I did was hold you, and watch you sleep, and it was the best night of my life. So I'm yeah. Terrified.

Anya: You're proposing to me 'cause we're gonna die. And you think it's romantic and sexy and, and you know you're not gonna have to go through with it 'cause the world's gonna end. Xander: I'm proposing to you, Anya, because it's not.

Angel: (as Angelus) You're going to hell! Buffy: Save me a seat.

Buffy: I hate this. I hate being here. I hate that you have to be here. I hate that there's evil and I've been chosen to fight it. I wish a whole lot of the time that I hadn't been. I know a lot of you wish I hadn't been either. This isn't about wishes. It's about choices. I believe we can beat this evil. Not when it comes. Now when its army is ready. Now. Tomorrow morning I'm opening the seal. I'm going down into the Hellmouth and I'm finishing this once and for all. Right now you're asking yourself what makes this different. What makes us more than a bunch of girls being picked off one by one? It's true. None of you have the power that Faith and I do. So here's the part where you make a choice.

(talking to Spike) Vampire: Is that all I was to you? A one-bite stand?

(Spike is practicing talking to Buffy) Spike: Um... there's something I got to tell you. About showing you Riley in that place. I didn't mean to... Anyway, I know you're feeling all betrayed - by him, not me. I was trying to help, you know. Not like I made him be there, after all. Actually trying to help you. Best intentions. I mean, you know, pretty state you'd be in, thinking things are all right while he's toddling halfway round the bend. Oh, I'll insult him if I want to. I'm the one who's on your side. Me. Doing you a favor. And you, being dead petty about it - me, getting nothing but your hatred and your venom and- you ungrateful bitch. Fuc- bitch. (He loses control and smashes a box of chocolates over the mannequin's head) Spike: Buffy... there's something I want to tell you.

Buffy: You guys didn't come all the way from England to determine whether or not I was good enough to be let back in. You came to beg me to let you back in. To give your jobs, your lives some semblance of meaning. Nigel: This is beyond insolence... (Buffy throws a sword at him) Buffy: I'm fairly certain I said no interruptions. Xander: That was excellent.

Faith: (trying to convince Giles she's really Buffy in Faith's body) Giles, you turned into a demon, and I knew it was you. Can't you just look into my eyes an be all intuitive? Giles: How did I turn into a demon? Faith: Oh, 'cause, uh, Ethan Rayne. And you have a girlfriend named Olivia... and you haven't had a job since we blew up the school... which is valid lifestyle-wise. I mean, it's note like you're a slacker type, but - Oh, oh. When I had psychic power I heard my mom think that you were like a stevedore during sex. Do you want me to continue? Giles: Actually, I beg you to stop? Faith: What's a stevedore?

Buffy: (to Turok-Han) Looks good, doesn't it? They're trapped in here. Terrified. Meat for the beast and all they can do is wait. That's all they've been doing for days. Waiting to be picked off one by one. Having nightmares about monsters that can't be killed... but I don't believe that. I always find a way. I am the thing that monsters have nightmares about, and right now you and me are gonna show them why. It's time. Welcome to Thunderdome. Andrew Wells: Two men enter. One man leaves.

(an assassin has trapped Cordelia and Xander in Buffy's basement) Xander: What are you doing? Cordelia: Going to see if he's gone. Xander: That's brilliant. What if he isn't? Cordelia: Oh, right. You think we should just slack here and hope that somebody else decides to be a hero? Sorry, forgot I was stranded with a loser! Xander: And yet I never forgot that I'm stuck with the numb-brain that let Mr Mutant in the house in the first place! Cordelia: He looked normal! Xander: What? Is he supposed to have an arrow with the word 'assassin' over his head? All it took was the prospect of a free makeover, and you licked his hand like a big, dumb dog.

Rupert Giles: We have to put this in your brain. Spike: Bugger that.

Buffy: What if you could have that power? Now. All of you. In every

(Buffy has said that Spike only loved her because she was unattainable) Spike: You listen to me. I've been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine, and done things I'd prefer you didn't. I don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker; I follow my blood, which does not always rush in the direction of my head. So I've made a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred plus years, only one thing I've ever been sure of. You. Look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I tell you that I love you, it's not because I want you, or 'cause I can't have you, it has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try... I've seen your strength, and your kindness, I've seen the best and the worst of you and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You are a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy. Buffy: I don't... I don't want to be the one. Spike: I don't want to be this good-looking and athletic. We all have crosses to bear.

Buffy: What part of punching you in the face do you not understand?

(last line of the series) Dawn: Buffy? What are we gonna do now?

Buffy: You got your soul back. How? Spike: It's what you wanted, right? It's what you wanted, right? And-and now everybody's in here, talking. Everything I did, everyone I- and him. And it. The other... the thing... beneath... beneath you. It's here, too. Everybody... they all just tell me go. Go... to hell. Buffy: Why? Why would you do that? Spike: Buffy, shame on you. Why does a man do what he mustn't? For her. To be hers. To be the kind of man who would nev- To be a kind of man. And she shall look on him with forgiveness... and everybody will forgive and love. He will be loved. So everybody's okay, right? C-can we rest now? Buffy? Can we rest?

Buffy: So, what do you guys want to do tomorrow? Willow: Nothing strenuous. Xander: Well, mini-golf is always the first thing that comes to mind. Giles: I think we can do better than that. Buffy: I was thinking about shopping. As per usual. Willow: Oh. There's an Arden B. in the new mall. Xander: I could use a few items. Giles: Well, now aren't we gonna discuss this? Save the world to go to the mall? Buffy: I'm having a wicked shoe craving. Xander: Aren't you on the patch? Willow: Those never work. Giles: Here I am, invisible to the eye... Xander: See, I need a new look. It's this whole eye patch thing. Buffy: Oh, you could go with full black secret agent look. Willow: Or the puffy shirt, pirate slash... Giles: The earth is *definitely* doomed.

Buffy: When your blood pours out it might save the world. What do you think about that? Does it buy it all back? Are you redeemed? Andrew: No. Buffy: Why not? Andrew: Because I killed him. Because I listened to Warren, and I pretended I thought it was him, but I knew-I knew it wasn't. And I killed Jonathan. And now you're gonna kill me. And I'm scared, and I'm going to die. And this-this is what Jonathan felt.

Xander: You think we haven't all seen this before? The part where you just cut us all out? Just step away from everything human and act like you're the law? If you knew what I... Buffy: I killed Angel. Do you even remember that? I would've given up everything I had to be with- I loved him more than I will ever love anything in this life and I put a sword through his heart because I had to. Willow: And that all worked out okay. Buffy: Do you remember cheering me on? The both of you? Do you remember giving me Willow's message? 'Kick his ass'? Willow: I never said that... Xander: This is different. Buffy: It is always different. It's always complicated. And at some point someone has to draw the line and that is always going to be me. You-you get down on me for cutting myself off, and in the end the slayer is always cut off. There's no mystical guide book, no all knowing council. Human rules don't apply. There's only me. I am the law. Xander: There has to be another way. Buffy: Then please find it.

Willow: You dreamed about Angel again? Buffy: Third night in a row. Willow: What did he do in the dream? Buffy: Stuff. Willow: Oh. Stuff. Was it one of those vivid dreams where you could feel his lips and smell his hair? Buffy: It had surround sound. I'm just thinking about him so much lately. Willow: You two are so right for each other. Except for the uh, Buffy: Vampire thing.

Angel: You're not a vampire. Whistler: I'm a demon, technically. But I'm not a bad guy. Not all demons are dedicated to the destruction of all life. Someone has to maintain balance, you know. Good and evil can't exist without each other, blah blah blah. I'm not like a good fairy or anything. I'm just trying to make it all balance, do I come off defensive?

Glory: You're lying to me. Spike: Yeah... but it was fun. And guess what, bitch. I'm not telling you jack. You're never gonna get your sodding key, 'cause you might be strong, but in our world, you're an idiot. Glory: I'm a god. Spike: The god of what, bad home perms? Glory: Shut up! I command you to shut up! Spike: Yeah, okay, sorry, but I just had no idea that gods were such prancing lightweights. Mark my words, the Slayer is going to kick your skanky, lopsided ass back to whatever place would take a cheap, whorish, fashion victim, ex-god like you.

Xander: (to Ted) Can I just say, this is the finest pizza *ever* on God's green Earth. What is your secret?

Spike: That's right! I'm back, and I'm a bloody animal!

(to Buffy) Spike: Dru bagged a slayer? She never told me. Good for her. Though not from your perspective, I suppose.

Cordelia: We came here to do the thing I can never tell my father about because he still thinks I'm a good girl.

Spike: I'm a vampire. I know something about evil. You're not evil. Dawn: Maybe, maybe not. Maybe I'm not evil but I don't think I can be good. Spike: Well, I'm not good and I'm okay.

Buffy: (jumps down from window) What are you doing here? Spike: I... Buffy: Five words. Spike: (counts on his fingers) Out... for... a... walk. Spike: (pause) ... biatch!

(repeated line) Faith: Five by five.

Willow: Don't worry, we're sure to spot Faith first. She's like this cleavagey slutbomb walking around going, "Ooh, check me out, I'm wicked cool, I'm five by five". Tara Maclay: "Five by five?" What does that mean? Willow: See, that's the thing. No one knows.

Cordelia: Buffy, it's like we're sisters. With really different hair.

Larry: I would love to get me some of that Buffy and Willow action, if you know what I mean. Oz: That's great, Larry, you've really mastered the single entendre.

Anya: Well, at first it was confusing. Just the idea of computers was like, whoa, I'm eleven hundred years old. I had trouble adjusting to the idea of Lutherans. Tara Maclay: I go online sometimes, but everyone's spelling is really bad, and it's depressing.

Buffy: Harmony, when you tried to be head cheerleader you were bad, when you tried to chair the homecoming committee you were really bad, but when you try to be bad, you suck.

Kendra: He's lying to us. Buffy: That's really good percepto girl, but we're not gonna get much outta him if he's oh, say, unconscious.

Ted Buchanan: You're such a pretty girl, the boys must be swarming. Buffy: No, not really. Willow: Besides, she's only interested in her studies. Book-cracker Buffy is sort of her nickname.

Buffy: See, that's my secret to attracting men. You know, it's simple, really. You slap 'em around a bit, you torture 'em, you make their lives a living hell, and sure, the nice guys, they'll run away, but every now and then you'll come across a real prince of a guy like Spike who gets off on it.

Willow: Buffy's like my best friend, and she's really special, plus, you know, a Slayer, that's a deal, and there's the whole bunch of us, and we have this group thing that kind of revolves around the slaying and I really want you to meet them and meet Buffy but I just sort of like having something that's just, you know, mine. I don't usually use that many words to say stuff that little. But do you get it at all? Tara Maclay: I do. Willow: Well, I should check in with Giles, get a situation update. Tara Maclay: I am, you know. Willow: What? Tara Maclay: Yours.

(after Percy calls her a nerd) Willow: Of course, the Percy thing isn't really important, it's the dead guy on the bed.

Spike: Drink? Buffy: A world of no. So any idea what's causing this? Spike: Oh. So that's all. You just come to pump me for information? Buffy: What else would I want to pump you for? I really just said that,

Buffy: I was happy. Wherever I was... I was happy... at peace. I knew that everyone I cared about was all right. I knew it. Time didn't mean anything. Nothing had form. But I was still me, you know? And I was warm, and I was loved, and I was finished. Complete. I - I don't understand theology or dimensions, any of it really... but I think I was in heaven. And now I'm not. I was torn out of there, pulled out, by my friends. Everything here is hard and bright and violent. Everything I feel, everything I touch, this is Hell. Just getting through the next moment, and the one after that, knowing what I've lost. They can never know. Never.

Joyce: This is not a good town. How many of us have lost someone who just... disappeared or got skinned or suffered 'neck rupture'? And how many of us have been to afraid to speak out? I was supposed to lead us in a moment of silence. But silence is this town's disease. For too long it has been plagued by unnatural evils. It's not our town anymore. It belongs to the monsters, to the witches and Slayers.

Spike: And the thing about the dance is, you never get to stop. Every day you wake up, it's the same bloody question that haunts you: is today the day I die? Death is on your heels, baby, and sooner or later it's gonna catch you. And part of you wants it... not only to stop the fear and uncertainty, but because you're just a little bit in love with it. Death is your art. You make it with your hands, day after day. That final gasp. That look of peace. Part of you is desperate to know: What's it like? Where does it lead you? And now you see, that's the secret. Not the punch you didn't throw or the kicks you didn't land. Every Slayer... has a death wish. Even you. The only reason you've lasted as long as you have is you've got ties to the world... your mum, your brat kid sister, the Scoobies. They all tie you here but you're just putting off the inevitable. Sooner or later, you're gonna want it. And the second- the second- that happens... You know I'll be there. I'll slip in... have myself a real good day. Here endeth the lesson. I just wonder if you'll like it as much as she did. Buffy: Get out of my sight. Now. Spike: Oh... did I scare ya? You're the Slayer. Do something about it. Hit me. Come on. One good swing. You know you want to. Buffy: I mean it. Spike: So do I. Give it me good, Buffy. Do it.

Jenny Calendar: The part that gets me, though, is where Buffy is the Vampire Slayer. She's so little.

Angel: I'm getting the brush off for Captain Peroxide. It doesn't necessarily bring out the champion in me. Buffy: You're not getting the brush off. Are you just going to come here and go all Dawson on me every time I have a boyfriend? Angel: Aha. Boyfriend.

Dawn: The hardest thing in this world, is to live in it.

Buffy: Dawn, listen to me. listen. I love you. I will *Always* love you. But this is the work that I have to do. Tell Giles... tell Giles I figured it out. And, and I'm okay. And give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to be strong. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world... it to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me.

Willow: So, that's it? Buffy: That's it. Assuming we survive this Ascension thing, he's gonna leave town. Willow: Well, he's a fool. He's just a big, dumb, jerk person. If you ask me. And he's a super maxi-jerk for doing it right before the prom. Buffy: It's not his fault. He's 243 years old. He doesn't exactly get the prom. Willow: But he should. If he... Buffy: Will, it's okay. You don't have to make him the bad guy. Willow: But, that's the best friend's job. Vilifying and grousing. Buffy: Usually, yeah. But he's right. I think that maybe in the long run, he's right. Willow: Yeah. I think he is. I mean, I tried to hope for the best, but... I'm sorry. Must be horrible. Buffy: I think horrible is still coming. Right now, it's worse. Right now, I'm just trying to keep from dying. Willow: Oh Buffy. Buffy: I can't breathe Will. I feel like I can't breathe.

Anya: There was this other apocalypse this one time. And I took off. But this time... Andrew: What's different? Anya: Well, I was kinda new to being around humans before. And now I've seen a lot more, gotten to know people, seen what they're capable of and I realize now that they're just so... amazingly... screwed up. I mean, so really, really screwed up in a monumental fashion. Andrew: Oh. Anya: They have no purpose that unites them so they drift around, blundering through life until they die. Which they know is coming and yet every single one of them is surprised when

Xander: I think we're gonna get through this. I think I'm gonna live a long... and silly life, and I'm not interested in doing that without you around. Anya: Oh. Okay. Xander: Okay? Anya: Yes. I mean, yes. No. Xander: No? Anya: After. Give it to me when the world doesn't end.

Drusilla: (as The First) What reason do you have to live? Spike: Her. Because she believes in me.

Giles: She lied to me? Willow: Well... Angel: Did... she have a date? Willow: Well... Well, why do you think she went to that party? Because you gave her the brush-off. And you, you never let her do anything except work and patrol. And I know she's the Chosen One, but you're killing her with the pressure. I mean, she's sixteen going on forty. And you. I mean, you're gonna live forever. You don't have time for a cup of coffee? Okay, I don't feel better now, and we've gotta help Buffy.

Buffy: I've had a lot of people talking at me the last few days. Everyone just lining up to tell me how unimportant I am. And I've finally figured out why. Power. I have it. They don't. This bothers them. Glory... came to my home today. Giles: Buffy, are you... Buffy: Just to talk. She told me I'm a bug, I'm a flea, she could squash me in a second. Only she didn't. She came into my home, and we talked. We had what in her warped brain probably passes for a civilized conversation. Why? Because she needs something from me. Because I have power over her.

Anya: We're just kinda thrown by the, you having sex with Spike. Buffy: The who whatting how with huh? Anya: Okay, that's denial. That comes before anger. Buffy: I am not having sex with Spike. Anya: Anger. Xander: No one is judging you. It's understandable. Spike is strong and mysterious and sort of compact but well-muscled... Buffy: I am not having sex with Spike, but I'm starting to think you are.

Spike: Shouldn't you be tucked away in your beddy-bye all warm where nothing can eat you? Dawn: Is that supposed to scare me? Spike: Little tremble wouldn't hurt. Dawn: Sorry, it's just that, I'm badder than you. Spike: Are not. Dawn: Am too, your standing in the bushes hugging a bent box of chocolates, and I'm... Spike: What? sneaking out to braid hair and watch Teletubbies with your mates?

Spike: The last time I looked in on you two, you were fighting to the death. Now you're back making googly-eyes at each other like nothing happened. Makes me want to heave. Buffy: I don't know what you're talking about. Spike: Oh, yeah. You're just friends. Angel: That's right. Spike: You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, you'll shag and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains children, it's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.

(after the group finished singing together for the first time) Xander: Now, see... that was disturbing. Willow: I thought it was neat. Buffy: So what is it? What's causing it? Giles: I thought it didn't matter. Buffy: Well, I'm not exactly quaking in my stylish, yet afforable boots, but there's definitely something unnatural going on here... And that doesn't usually lead to hugs and puppies.

Jenny Calendar: Well, you really are an old-fashioned boy, aren't you? Rupert Giles: Well, I don't dangle a corkscrew from my ear. Jenny Calendar: That's not where I dangle it.

(to Giles) Cordelia: God, you really were the little youthful offender. You must just look back at that and cringe.

(on the stupidity of the vampire worshippers) Buffy: Spike and all of his friends are going to be pigging out at the All You Can Eat Moron Bar.

Buffy: I told you. I'm a vampire slayer. Joyce: Well I just don't accept that.

Angel: Why are you riding me? Buffy: Because I don't trust you. You're a vampire. Or is that an offensive term? Should I say 'undead American'?

Kendra: Who are you? Buffy: You attacked me, who the hell are you?

Buffy: Angel, there must be some part of you inside that still remembers who are. Angel: (as Angelus) Dream on, schoolgirl. Angel, your boyfriend, is dead and you're all going to join him.

Xander: Uh-huh. Go away. Spike: Now why would I do that when it's bugging you so much having me here? They have chicken wings, too. Also, a sort of a flower-shaped thing made from an onion. It's brilliant. Xander: Are you talking to me hoping that I'll get so depressed that I'll impale myself on a fork right in front of you? Spike: Lovely thought. If I don't hurt you myself, the chip won't zap me. I could eat you that way, beats the onion thing to Hell.

Rona: They told me I'd be safe here. Buffy: Right. Well, you are. I mean, you will be safer with me around. Rona: That's good. Buffy: Next time you're attacked... Rona: Whoa, next time? You saying I'm gonna get attacked again? Buffy: Welcome to the Hellmouth.

Buffy: This is all you get. I'm listening. Tell me what happened. Spike: I tried to find it of course. Buffy: Find what? Spike: The spark. The missing, the piece, that fit. That made me fit because you didn't want- I can't. Not with you looking. I dreamed of killing you. I think they were dreams. So weak. Did you make me weak? Thinking of you? Hauling myself, spilling buckets of useless salt over your- ending. Angel, he should've warned me. Makes a good show, to watch it. It's here. In me. All the time. The spark. I wanted to give you what you deserved. And I got it. They put the spark in me and all it does, is burn. Buffy: Your soul. Spike: Bit worse for lack of use.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Excuse me, but Lohesh was a four-winged soul killer. I was told there're not quite that fierce of all the demons we faced. Anya: You've never seen a demon. Buffy: Excuse me, killing them professionally four years and running. Anya: No, you don't understand. All the demons that walk the Earth, myself included, are tainted, human hybrids, like vampires. The ascension means that a human becomes pure demon. They're different. Buffy: How? Anya: Well for one thing, there're bigger.

Willow: Our friends are in trouble. Now, we have to put our heads together and get them out of it. And it you two aren't with me a hundred and ten percent, then get the hell out of my library! Cordelia: We're sorry. Xander: We'll be good.

(Willy the Snitch brings a captive Buffy before Spike) Spike: Are you tripping? I told you not to bring her in here.

Buffy: The rest of you are just waiting for me. Xander: Well, yeah, but only because you kinda told us to. You're our leader, Buffy, as in "follow the". Buffy: Well, from now on, I'm your leader as in "do what I say". Xander: Ja wohl. But let's not try to forget, we're also your friends. Anya: I'm not. Buffy: Then why are you here? Aside from getting rescued, what is it that you do? Anya: I provide much needed... sarcasm. Xander: Um, that would kinda be my job, actually.

Spike: I'm insane. What's his excuse?

Xander: Being popular isn't so great. Or so I've read in books.

Buffy: Can you vague that up for me?

(the Yoko Factor - in Giles' apartment) Buffy: Sorry you guys, we're on a clock here. Okay, Adam was at that cave, so maybe he was there for a reason. I, I, I could, I could go back, scope it out, track him if I have to. Willow: Right, and then, maybe you'll get lucky, and he'll still be there and he can rip your arms off for you. Buffy, you can't go back alone. Giles: (drunkenly) You never train with me anymore; he's going to kick your arse. Buffy: Giles! Giles: (next drink in hand) Sorry, was that a bit honest? (not caring) Terribly sorry.

Spike: Dawn, I get that you're scared, but I'm your sitter, so mind me. I'm not about to let any of those buggers lay so much as a warty digit on you.

Harmony: Is it safe? Has Buffy gotten to you yet? I saw her patrolling just now... with a stake. She won't give up until she's killed me to death. Spike: Buffy's looking for you? Harmony: Of course. That's why I'm on the lam. Didn't you hear? I'm totally her arch-nemesis. Spike: Is that right? I must've missed the memo. Harmony: There was a mem- Spike, oh my God, this is like a real emergency.

Angel: Hey. I was wondering when you were coming. Buffy: I'm not coming back. We're not friends. We never were. And I can fool Giles, and I can fool my friends, but I can't fool myself. Or Spike, for some reason. What I want from you I can never have. You don't need me to take care of you anymore. So I'm gonna go. Angel: I don't accept that. Buffy: You have to. Angel: How can... There's gotta be some way we can still see each other. Buffy: There is: tell me that you don't love me.

Miss Natalie French: Oh, Xander. (gets up) Miss Natalie French: I've done something really stupid. I hope you can forgive me. Xander: Oh, forgiveness is my middle name. Well, actually it's LaVelle, and I'd appreciate it if you guard that secret with your life.

Xander: For what its worth... Principal Snyder: It's worth nothing, Harris. Whatever comes out of your mouth is a meaningless waste of breath. An airborne toxic event. Xander: Well, I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to be so honest with me. And I can only hope that one day I'm in a position to be that honest with you.

Giles: Dear god, Buffy, there's only so much I can take. We're going to have to change the system. A fourteen-year-old's too old to be babysat, and it's not fair on her. Buffy: What'd she make you do? Giles: Um, well, we listened to aggressively cheerful music sung by people chosen for their ability to dance. Then we ate cookie dough, and talked about boys. Buffy: (laughing) I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry, but if it makes you feel any better, my "fun time Buffy party night" involved watching a robot throw Spike through a window, so if you wanna trade... no... wait... I wouldn't give that memory up for anything.

Xander: Maybe we can save the "maybes" for a more dayish part of the day, girls. Potential slayers can function without sleep. Me, I'm no good without my usual ninety minutes. Andrew Wells: I'm with him. Keep the chatter down. Or speak up so I can hear you. I'm bored. Episode One bored.

Lyle Gorch: I'm gonna kill both you Slayers for this! You hear me? Cordelia: I hear you, you redneck moron. You got a dress that goes with that hat? Lyle Gorch: I'm gonna... Cordelia: Rip out my innards, play with my eyeballs, boil my brain and eat it for brunch? Listen up, needle brain, Buffy and I have taken out four of your cronies, not to mention your girlfriend. Lyle Gorch: Wife! Cordelia: Whatever. The point is, I haven't even broken a sweat. See, in the end Buffy's just the runner up. I am the queen. You get me mad, what do you think I'm gonna do to you? Lyle Gorch: (runs away) Later.

Buffy: It's not your fault. You're not the one doing this. Spike: I already did it. It's already done. You wanna know what I've done to girls Dawn's age? This is me Buffy. You've got to kill me before I get out. Buffy: We can keep you locked up. Keep you here and we'll figure out... Spike: Have you ever really asked yourself why you can't do it? Off me? After everything I've done to you, to people around you. It's not love. We both know that. Buffy: You fought by my side. You've saved lives. You've helped... Spike: Don't do that. Don't rationalize this into some noble act. We both know the truth of it. You like men who hurt you. Buffy: No. Spike: You need the pain we cause you. You need the hate. You need it to do your job, to be the slayer. Buffy: No. I don't hate like that. Not you, or myself. Not anymore.

Anya: Are they gonna cut the body open? Willow: Oh my god. Would you just... stop talking? Just... shut your mouth. Please. Anya: What am I doing? Willow: How can you act like that? Anya: Am I supposed to be changing my clothes a lot? Is that the helpful thing to do? Xander: Guys... Willow: The way you behave. Anya: Nobody will tell me. Willow: Because it's not okay for you to be asking these things. Anya: But I don't understand. (begins to cry) I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's, there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid. And, and Xander's crying and not talking, and, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why.

Mr Trick: Sunnydale. Town's got quaint, and the people: he called me "sir", don't you miss that? Admittedly, not a haven for the brothers. Strictly the Caucasian persuasion in the Dale. But you gotta stand up and salute their death rate. I ran a statistical analysis and, Hello Darkness, makes D.C. look like Mayberry. And nobody sayin' boo about it. We could fit right in here. Have some fun.

(to Angel) Mayor Richard Wilkins III: To be frank, I don't see any future in store for you two. You're immortal, and she's not. It's not easy. I married my wife Edna Mae in 1903 and I was with her right until the end. Not a pretty scene, those last few years. Wrinkled and senile and cursing me for my youth, it wasn't our happiest time. And let's not forget the fact that any moment of true happiness will turn you evil. What kind of life can you offer her? I don't see a lot of Sunday picnics in the offing. I see skulking in the shadows, hiding from the sun... she's a blossoming young girl. You want to keep her from the life she should have till it's passed her by and, God I think that's a little selfish. Is that what you came back from Hell for? Is that your greater purpose?

(Spike tells Willow about his breakup with Drusilla) Spike: She wouldn't even kill me. She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know, some little sign that she cared? It was that truce with Buffy that did it. Dru said I've gone soft. I wasn't demon enough for the likes of her. I told her it didn't mean anything I was thinking of her the whole time, but she didn't care. So, after we got to Brazil she was just... different. I gave her everything. Beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them. But nothing made her happy. And she would flirt. I caught her one night on a park bench making out with a Chaos Demon. Have you ever seen a Chaos Demon? They're all slime and antlers, there're disgusting. She only did it to hurt me. So I said, "I'm not putting up with this anymore." And she said "fine." And I said, "yeah well, I've got an unlife you know." And she said... she said, "we could still be friends." God, I'm so unhappy. Friends. How could she be so cruel?

(Ghost Indian transforms into a large bear while fighting Buffy) Spike: A bear! You made a bear! Buffy: I didn't mean to. Spike: Undo it! Undo it!

Angel: (to Giles as Angelus) I wanna torture you. I used to love it, and it's been such a long time. I mean, the last time I tortured someone, they didn't even "have" chainsaws.

Xander: I have a theory. Your snide remarks earlier? I'm guessing grapes a little on the sour side. Didn't get into any schools, did you? The grades were there, but ooh, if it weren't for that pesky interview. Ten minutes with you and the Admissions Department decided that they'd already reached their mean-spirited superficial princess quotas. Cordelia: And once again, the gold medal in the Being Wrong event goes to Xander "I'm as stupid as I look" Harris.

Willow: Faith, wait. I want to talk to you. Faith: Oh yeah? Give me the speech again, please. Faith, we're still your friends. We can help you. It's not too late. Willow: It's way too late. You know, it didn't have to be this way. But you made your choice. I know you had a tough life. I know that some people think you had a lot of bad breaks. Well, boo hoo. Poor you. You know, you had a lot more in your life than some people. I mean, you had friends in your life like Buffy. Now you have no one. You were a Slayer and now you're nothing. You're just a big selfish, worthless waste. Faith: You hurt me, I hurt you. I'm just a little more efficient. (punches Willow) Willow: Aw, here I just thought you didn't have a come-back.

Xander: Can I have you? Duh... Can I help you?

(the gang is fighting a troll) Anya: How can I help? Willow: Uh, distract him from Buffy. Uh, piss him off. Anya: I don't know how. Willow: Anya, I have faith in you. There is no one you cannot piss off.

Willow: (after being attacked by the Troll) Piss him off! Anya: I can't! I don't know how! Willow: Anya, I have faith in you. There is *no-one* that you cannot piss off!

Willow: I wish Buffy was here! Buffy: I'm here! Willow: I wish I had a million dollars! (everyone stares ant her) Just checking.

Anya: How do I know you won't make another pass at Xander as you did two years ago when he was with Cordelia? Willow: Hello? Gay now.

(Spike surveys the chaos caused on Halloween by Ethan Rayne's costume transformation spell) Spike: Well, this is just... neat.

Giles: Buffy, maintaining a normal social life as a Slayer... i-i-is problematic at best. Buffy: This is the '90s. The 1990s, in point of fact, and I can do both. Clark Kent has a job. I just wanna go on a date. Giles: Well, I, I suppose it was a fairly slim lead... Buffy: (pleased) Thank you, thank you, thank you! And look, I won't go far, okay? If the apocalypse comes, beep me.

Oz: We should figure out what kinda deal this is. I mean, is it a-a gathering, a shindig or a hootenanny? Cordelia: What's the difference? Oz: Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings; shindig, dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage; and hootenanny, well, it's chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny. Xander: Well, I hate brie. Cordelia: I know. It smells like Giles' cat.

Spike: And just what brings our good principal to this neck of the gloom? Buffy: I'm showing him our operation. Us. Spike: Fine by me. Big fight against evil coming up. The more good guys we've got, the longer we'll all live. Principal Robin Wood: Is that what you are? A good guy? Spike: I haven't heard any complaints. Well, I have heard a few complaints over the years, but then I just killed whoever spoke up, and that was pretty much that. Buffy: He's joking. Spike: No, I'm not.

Willow: Anya, you're a vengeance demon. Just teleport. Anya: Well, as it turns out, teleporting isn't a right, it's a privilege. I withdrew a vengeance spell last week, and this is my punishment. I can only teleport for official business. I have to file a flight plan and everything.

Mayor Richard Wilkins III: Well, here we are. Journey's end. And what is a journey? Is it just distance traveled? Time spent? No, it's what happens on the way. It's the things that shape you. At the end of the journey, you're not the same. Today is about change. Graduation doesn't just mean your circumstances change, it means you do. You ascend to a higher level. Nothing will ever be the same. Nothing. So as we look back on... (begins changing into a demon) ... on the events that have brought us to this day we... we must all... AHH. It has begun, my destiny. A little sooner that I expected. I had this whole section about civic pride, but... I guess we'll just skip to the big finish.

Willow: What did I have for breakfast this morning? I want to say bagel, but I think that was yesterday. You had two eggs sunny side up. I remember because they were wiggling at me like little boobs.

Spike: And my robot? Buffy: The robot is gone. The robot was gross and obscene. Spike: It wasn't supposed to... Buffy: Don't. That... thing, it... it wasn't even real. What you did, for me, and Dawn... that was real. I won't forget it.

Ben: She nearly killed me. Rupert Giles: No she couldn't. She's a hero, you see - she's not like us. Ben: Us?

Joyce: I think we're just about ready for pie. Xander: Then I'll be pretty much ready for barf. Buffy: Xander. Xander: No, no, barf from the eating. 'Cause all was good, and too much goodness... Joyce: I'm taking it as a compliment.

Joyce: I... love... what you've neglected to do with the place.

Spike: Well, our old place was just fine till you went and had it burned down. Angel: Things change, Spikey. You gotta roll with the punches. Well, actually, you pretty much got that part down, haven't you? Spike: Very funny, mate. Angel: What can I say? I just love to see you smile, buddy.

(Spike tells Joyce about his breakup with Drusilla) Spike: So I'm strolling through the park looking for a meal, I happen to walk by and she making out with a Chaos Demon. And so I said, "you know, I don't have to put up with this." And she said, "fine." So I said, "fine, do whatever you like." I thought we were going to make up. Joyce: Well, she sounds very unreasonable. Spike: She is, she's out of her mind. That's what I miss most about her. Joyce: Well Spike, sometimes even when two people seem right for each other their lives just take different paths. Like when Buffy's father and I... Spike: No, this is different. Our love was eternal, literally. By the way, you got any more of those little marshmallows?

Glory: Funny. 'Cause I look around at this world you're so eager to be a part of... and all I see is six billion lunatics looking for the fastest ride out. Who's not crazy? Look around. Everyone's drinking, smoking, shooting up... shooting each other, or just plain screwing their brains out 'cause they don't want 'em anymore. *I'm* crazy? Honey, I'm the original one-eyed chicklet in the kingdom of the blind. 'Cause at least I admit the world makes me nuts.

Willow: I'll give Xander a call. What's his number? Oh, yeah, 1-800-I'm-Dating-A-Skanky-Ho. Buffy: Meow. Willow: Really? Thanks. I've never gotten a "meow" before.

(to Cordelia) Buffy: Well, that works out great. You won't tell anyone that I'm the Slayer, and I won't tell anyone you're a moron.

Cordelia: When did you become Martha Stewart? Buffy: First of all, Martha Stewart knows jack about hand-cut prosciutto. Xander: I don't believe she slays, either. Oz: Oh, I hear she can, but she doesn't like to.

Faith: I've had my share of losers, but you - you boinked the undead.

Faith: When I'm fighting, it's like the whole world goes away. I only know one thing: that I'm gonna win, and they're gonna lose. I *like* that feeling. Buffy: Well sure, beats that "dead" feeling you get when they win and *you* lose.

Faith: You can't trust guys. Buffy: You can trust some guys. Really, I've read about them.

Buffy: I just wanna get my life back, you know? Do normal stuff. Willow: Like date? Buffy: Well... Xander: Aw, you wanna date. I saw that half-smile, you little slut. (Buffy punches him on the arm) Xander: Ow. Buffy: All right... yes, date, and hang out and go to school and save the world from unspeakable demons. You know, I wanna do girlie stuff.

Buffy: Mom, dead people are talking to you. Do the math.

Buffy: Oh, no... I have to go take an English make-up exam. They give you credit just for speaking it, right?

Buffy: What are you guys talking about? Oz: Oddly enough, your boyfriend. Again. Buffy: He's not my boyfriend. Really and truly, he's... I don't know. Are we cool? Xander: Yeah. Just, seeing the two of you kissing, after everything that happened... I leaned toward the postal. But I trust you. Cordelia: I don't. Just for the record.

Willow: Maybe we shouldn't be too coupley around Buffy. Cordelia: Oh, you mean 'cause of how the only guy that ever liked her turned into a vicious killer and had to be put down like a dog? Xander: Can she cram complex issues into a nutshell, or what?

Anya: I swear, I am just trying to find my necklace. Willow: Well, did you try looking inside the sofa in hell?

Buffy: Do you remember that demon that almost got out the night I died? Willow: Every nightmare I have that doesn't revolve around academic failure or public nudity is about that thing. In fact, once I dreamt that it attacked me while I was late for a test and naked.

Buffy: Hey. Look at us. We came up with a plan, a good plan.

Buffy: I can't believe you got into Oxford. Willow: It's pretty exciting. Oz: That's some deep academia there. Buffy: That's where they make Gileses. Willow: I know. I can learn, and have scones.

Buffy: What should we do with the trio over here? Should we burn them? Willow: I brought marshmallows.

Oz: Sometimes when I'm sitting in class... you know, I'm not thinking about class 'cause that would never happen... I think about kissing you. And it's like everything stops, it's like, freeze frame: Willow kissage.

Willow: I'm a bloodsucking fiend. Look at my outfit.

Spike: How was your walk, pet? Drusilla: I met an old man. I didn't like him. He got stuck in my teeth.

Xander: Willow, did you remember to tape "Biography" last Friday? Willow: Uh huh. Buffy: See? I told you... old reliable. Willow: Oh, thanks. Buffy: What? Willow: "Old reliable"? Yeah, there's a sexy nickname. Buffy: I-I didn't mean it as... Willow: No, it's fine. I'm "old reliable." Xander: She just means, you know, the geyser. You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals. Willow: That's Old Faithful. Xander: Isn't that the dog that the guy had to shoot... Willow: That's Old *Yeller*. Buffy: Xander, I beg you not to help me.

Anya: Uh, Willow? Willow: Hi, uh... I'm sorry I don't know... Anya: Anya. I'm sort of new here. I know Cordelia. You may have seen me hanging around her as well as here and there. Willow: Oh yeah, fun. Anya: Listen, I have this little project I'm working on, and I heard you were the person to ask if... Willow: Yeah, that's me. Reliable dog-geyser-person.

Anya: What a day. Gimme a beer. Waiter: ID. (Anya glares at him) Waiter: ID. Anya: I'm eleven hundred and twenty years old. Just gimme a frickin' beer! Waiter: ID. Anya: (sigh) Gimme a Coke.

Willow: (as Vamp Willow) This world's no fun. Willow: You noticed that, too?

(the gang looks at the vampire version of Willow from an alternate reality) Giles: It's extraordinary. Willow: It's horrible. That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil, and skanky... and I think I'm kinda gay Buffy: Willow just remember, a vampire's personality has nothing to do with the person it was. Angel: Well actually... uh, good point.

Spike: Ahhhh, my head. I think I'm sobering up. It's horrible. Ah... God... I wish I was dead.

Willow: So, how did it go? Xander: On a scale from one to ten? It sucked.

Xander: You're considered somewhat cool. Oz: I am? Xander: Is it because you always tend to express yourself in short, non-commital sentences? Oz: Could be.

Buffy: What do you want? Angel: The same thing you do. Buffy: Okay. What do I want? Angel: To kill 'em. To kill 'em all. Buffy: Sorry, that's incorrect. But, you do get this watch and a year's supply of turtle wax. What I want is to be left alone.

Xander: Guess who our commencement speaker is? Willow: Sigfreid? Xander: No. Willow: Roy? Xander: No. Willow: One of the tigers?

Cordelia: Everything has been taken away because Daddy made a little mistake on his taxes... for the last twelve years.

Anya: Men like sports. I'm sure of it. Xander: Yes. Men like sports. Men watch the action movie, they eat of the beef, and they enjoy to look at the bosoms. A thousand years of avenging our wrongs, and that's all you've learned?

Anya: You're going to die if you stay here. Xander: I guess I might. Anya: When I think that something could happen to you, it feels bad inside, like I might vomit. Xander: Welcome to the world of romance. Anya: It's horrible. No wonder I used to get so much work.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The Council's orders are to concentrate on... Buffy: Orders? I don't think I'm gonna be taking any more orders. Not from you. Not from them. Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You can't turn your back on the Council. Buffy: They're in England. I don't think they can tell which way my back is facing.

Buffy: I'm gonna give you all a nice, fun, normal evening if I have to kill every person on the face of the Earth to do it. Xander: Yay?

Anya: I have witnessed a millennium of treachery and oppression from the males of the species, and I have nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them. Xander: Then why are you talking to me? Anya: (sighs) I don't have a date for the prom. Xander: Well, gosh, I wonder why not? It couldn't possibly have anything to do with your sales pitch. Anya: Men are evil. Will you go with me?

Mayor Richard Wilkins III: (his last words) Well, gosh.

Anya: Look, I know you find me attractive. I've seen you looking at my breasts. Xander: Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open.

Angel: You know, I never properly thanked you for sending me to Hell. Buffy: No... Angel: I'm wondering, where do I start? A card, fruit basket, hmm? Evisceration?

Faith: No one can stop the Ascension. Mayor's got it wired, B. He built this town for demons to feed on, and come graduation day, he's gettin' paid. And I'll be sittin' at his right hand - assuming he still has hands after the transformation, I'm not too clear on that part. And all your little lame-ass friends are gonna be kibbles 'n' bits.

Xander: The Mayor's going to kill us all during graduation. Cordelia: Oh. Are you gonna go to fifth period? Xander: I'm thinking I might skip it. Cordelia: Yeah. Me too.

Willow: This is so frustrating. Oz: Nothing useful? Willow: No, it's great. If we wanna make ferns invisible or communicate with shrimp, I've got the goods right here. Oz: Our lives are different than other people's.

Buffy: I went to Angel's last night, and Faith was there. They looked sort of... intimate. Willow: No way. I know what you're thinking, and no way. Buffy: You're right. Faith would never do that. Willow: Faith would *totally* do that. Faith was *built* to do that. She's the *do that* girl. Buffy: Comfort, remember? Comfort here. Willow: I mean, please. Does Angel come up to Faith's standards for a guy? Let's see... is he breathing? Buffy: Actually, no.

Mayor Richard Wilkins III: I have two words that are going to make all your troubles go away. "Miniature". "Golf".

Mayor Richard Wilkins III: There's more than one way to skin a cat. And I happen to know that factually that's true.

Willow: When I'm with a boy I like I can't say anything cool, or witty - or at all. I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away.

Buffy: Okay, that was too close for comfort. Not that slaying is ever comfy, but... you know what I mean.

Buffy: The world is what it is - -we fight, we die. Wishing doesn't change that. Rupert Giles: I have to believe in a better world. Buffy: Go ahead. I have to live in this one.

Xander: But you know what really bugs me? Okay, we were kissing, it was a mistake, but I know that was positively the last time we were ever gonna kiss. Willow: Darn tootin'. Xander: And they burst in rescuing us, without even knocking? I mean this is really all their fault. Buffy: Your logic does not resemble our earth logic. Xander: Mine is much more advanced.

Cordelia: I wish that Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale. Anya: Done. Cordelia: That would be cool. No wait, I wish Buffy Summers had never been born. Anya: Done. Cordelia: And I wish that Xander Harris never again knows the touch of a woman. And that Willow wakes up tomorrow covered in monkey hair. Anya: Done. Cordelia: In fact, I wish all men, except maybe the dumb and really beautiful kind, disappear off the face of the Earth. That would be so cool.

Cordelia: No, no, no way. I wish us into bizarro-land and you guys are still together?

Cordelia: Okay, not funny. Hey. You. Where did you put my car? Caretaker: Pardon? Cordelia: My auto. El convertablo.

Xander: I can not stress enough how much I don't have plans.

Xander: Is it too much to ask for a little backup? Buffy: I'm here for you Xand. I'm supporto gal.

Xander: (as Vamp Xander) Buffy. Isn't that what they call The Slayer? Willow: (as Vamp Willow) Buffy, ohh scary. Xander: (as Vamp Xander) Someone has to talk to her people. That name is striking fear in nobody's hearts.

Angel: The Master arose. He let me live... to punish me. I kept hoping you'd come. My destiny... Buffy: Is this a get-in-my-pants thing? You guys in Sunnydale talk like I'm the second coming.

Angel: What's the plan? Buffy: (holding a stake) Don't fall on this.

Anya: (as Anyanka) You trusting fool! How do you know the other world is any better than this? Rupert Giles: Because it has to be.

Buffy: I don't play well with others.

Angel: I lurk.

Dawn: Lurk much? Spike: I wasn't lurking, I was standin' about. It's a totally different vibe.

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