Brotherly Love
1995
(Anne is pregnant) Andy: How'd it get in there? Claire: Andy, we've already had this discussion about where babies come from. Andy: I know, but I want to hear it from her. Claire: Andy! Andy: I just want a second opinion. Anne: Andy, it's really simple, when a boy and a girl really like eachother a lot, and they spend enough time together, sometimes they just make a baby. Andy: Spending time together, huh? I'd better call Susie, and tell her we have to cool it!
Matt: (singing) Hey, Leo! Look, Leo... There's a pigeon on your car! Hey, Leo! Look, Leo... There's a pigeon on your car! Well, you can't go far with a bird on your car. Everybody knows that's true. Hey, Leo! Look, Leo... whadya think you're gonna do?
Andy: I've invented vegetable ice cream. I call this, Brocoli Surprise. Be brutal. Joe: All right, just give me this. It's not bad, Andy. What is the, uh, surprise? Andy: No brocoli.
Joe: Hey, Lou, you still having those wild dreams about me? Lou: Yeah, I am. Every night, it's exactly like one of those Calvin Klein commercials. Joe: You mean hot and sexy, huh? Lou: No, I mean annoying, confusing, and about thirty seconds long.
Matt: Feel me. Joe: What? Matt: Feel me, am I warm? Joe: Get lost!
Matt: (about Andy) Look at him, Mom, he's disgusting. He's always pulling things out of his nose, his ears. Wipin' it on his shirt. He's like a third base coach. (wipes his hands on a napkin) Andy: That's my napkin. Matt: Excuse me, Mom, I have to go wash my hands. Andy: (picking up his napkin) Hahah, I love doing that!
Andy: If you like someone, does it matter if they're not the same age? Claire: No, of course not. Andy, do you like a girl? Andy: That's a little personal, don't you think, Mom?
Matt: What, what are you lookin' at? Joe: Nothing! Matt: It's the shirt, right? Joe: No! Matt: I was gonna change. Joe: So change! Matt: It is the shirt!
Joe: After your dad was, ah, "Lost at Sea," um, did your mom date a lot? Lloyd: We had to eat. Joe: Did, she, like, ever get married without letting you know? Lloyd: Just once in the 60's, but it was null the next day. The Kennedys are a very powerful family... We had to eat!
Matt: Neurotic, Germiphobic, Afraid of Heights. Joe: What are you working on, buddy, your résumé?
Joe: You think The Sound of Music is the scariest movie of all time? Lloyd: The hills are alive!
Joe: What're you doing? Matt: Getting into bed. Joe: Yeah, this is my bed. There's a sleeping bag on the floor for you. Matt: The floor's drafty, Joe. If I get sick, I'll be of no help to you. Joe: You're no help to me now! Matt: My God... There is a bag... Of corn chips in your bed! Joe: I take that back, you are helping out.
(about Matt's pimple) Joe: I can't see anything. Matt: Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it isn't there!
Andy: (with a French accent) Ack, Americans!
Andy: Let's party! (the guys cheer)
Andy: Master Kim says that a true warrior fights alone. Matt: Master Kim works nights at Seven Eleven. Andy: So who should know better than him?
Andy: Master Kim says a man who faces combat has already won. Matt: The last thing Master Kim said to me was "Shut freezer door. You melt popsicle."
Joe: How did your date go? Lou: First I was yelled at for being late; I was told I looked like a mess. Then I got stuck with the check. Joe: What kind of guy would do that? Lou: He was long gone. I mean Claire.
Lloyd: (from inside a limousine) Pardon me, have you any Grey Poupon?
Joe: How much does Chevy Chase make for six films? Andy: I don't know, noe? Joe: Right on!
trick or treater: Nut! Lloyd: No, thank you!