Battlestar Galactica
2004
Crewman Specialist Cally: Why do the Cylons come every thirty-three minutes? Why not thirty-four or thirty-five... Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: Cally. Crewman Specialist Cally: What? Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: Shut up.
(after half the fleet jumps to kobol under the leadership of a renegade Laura Roslin, Adama goes to the morgue to view the copy of the "sharon" cylon model that shot him) Commander William Adama: (stares at her body and has a flashback of being shot by sharon) Why? (strokes her hair and begins to weep uncontrollably)
(Adam is walking through the corridors of Galactica with a pained expression, then stops and thinks and turns around and walks to the CIC) Commander William Adama: (Lt Gaeta and Colonel Tigh are looking over charts in the middle of the CIC as Adam enters) Mr Gaeta, I want to see all recon material on Kobol immediately in my quarters. Lt Felix Gaeta: (has a surprised look on his face) Aye, sir. Col Saul Tigh: Kobol? Commander William Adama: Yes... I'm putting the fleet back together, I'm putting our family back together. This ends now. (Petty Officer Duella stares at him in surprise that she was able to reach him) (walks out while Petty Officer Duella and several other crewman have looks of great relief and happiness on their faces)
Petty Officer 2nd Dualla: (to Adama) Com. traffic, sir. Two from Colonial One. Commander William Adama: (to Tigh) Whose ten minutes is it? Col Saul Tigh: Yours. I took ten last time. Commander William Adama: All right, I'll see you both at combat. (walks off) Petty Officer 2nd Dualla: I believe it was your ten minutes, sir. Col Saul Tigh: The old man's so tired he can't even remember it's his turn.
President Laura Roslin: (about Commander Adama) Maybe if he's more comfortable he'll be a little easier to deal with. Billy Keikeya: That's smart. President Laura Roslin: No, it's not smart. It's politics.
Commander William Adama: There's a reason you separate military and the police. One fights the enemies of the state, the other serves and protects the people. When the military becomes both, then the enemies of the state tend to become the people.
Col Saul Tigh: Where's your mommy? Boxey: Dead. Where's yours?
Number Six: Procreation is one of God's commandments. Doctor Gaius Baltar: Really? Well, I'm sure someday if you're a good Cylon, he'll reward you with a lovely little walking toaster of your very own.
Col Saul Tigh: Yes, we are tired. Yes, there is no relief. Yes, the Cylons keep coming after us time after time after time. And yes, we are still expected to do our jobs!
D'anna Biers: I came to Galactica to tell a story. In all honesty I thought I knew what that story was before I ever set foot there: how an arrogant military let their egos get in the way of doing their jobs, safeguarding the lives of the civillian population. But I found out that the truth was more complex than that. These people aren't Cylons. They're not robots blindly following orders and polishing their boots. They're people. Deeply flawed, yes, but deeply human too, and maybe that's saying the same thing. What struck me most is that despite it all; the hardships, the stress, the ever present danger of being killed, despite all that they never give up. They never lie down in the road and let the truck run them over. They wake up in the morning, put on their uniforms and do their jobs. Every day. No pay, no rest, no hope of ever laying down the burden or letting someone else do the job. There are no relief troops coming, no Colonial Fleet training new recruits every day. The people on Galactica are it. They are the thin line of blue that separates us from the Cylons. Lt Gaeta told me a remarkable statistic; not a single member of Galactica's crew has asked to resign, not one. Think about that. If you wore the uniform wouldn't you want to quit? To step aside and say "enough! Let someone else protect the fleet"? I know I would. But then, I don't wear a uniform. Most of us don't, most of us never will. The story of Galactica isn't that people make bad decisions under pressure, it's that those mistakes are the exception. Most of the time the men and women serving under Commander Adama get it right. The proof is that our fleet survives. And with Galactica at our side, we will endure. This is D'anna Biers, Fleet News Service.
D'anna Biers: Are you afraid when you go into combat? Racetrack: First thing they tell you is to assume you're already dead. D'anna Biers: Well, that sounds ghoulish. Racetrack: Yeah, maybe. But dead men don't get scared and freeze up under fire. Me, I'm just worried that hell's gonna be a lonely place, and I'm gonna fill it up with every Toaster son of a bitch I find.
President Laura Roslin: (talking about Baltar) He's an odd one, isn't he? Billy Keikeya: (in falsetto) Cuckoo...
Petty Officer 2nd Dualla: (after being taken hostage while trying to negotiate with prisoners) I don't even know how I came into this detail. Billy Keikeya: The president thought you might be valuable. Petty Officer 2nd Dualla: The president doesn't know who I am. Billy Keikeya: I told her. Sorry. Petty Officer 2nd Dualla: (sarcastically) On the other hand, it is nice to get out of the CIC. Break up the day, move around, meet new people.
Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: (Starbuck's filling in for Apollo at the squadron briefing) Now, one of you has been coming in a little hot lately, a little too hot, a little, um - oh I don't know, he's-burning-up-the-deck-with-his-skids-because-he-just-can't-pull-back-on-the-throttle hot. Now who is this speed demon, my prince? Boxey: Flat Top, sir! (the squadron catcalls) Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: Flat Top, you got a need for speed, do ya? Just can't wait to get back to the Big G and the loving embrace of your fellow pilots? Or maybe you have a hot date with your right hand? (more catcalls) Ryan 'Flat Top' Cisco: Hey, it never gets a headache! Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: Tell you what, Flat Top: you come in too hot today and you may have to start using your left. Okay, you've been fun, you've been a great audience, dismissed!
Lt Sharon 'Boomer' Valerii: I know where the Tomb of Athena is, do you?
Racetrack: Been playing with these cards for so long, I know every fold. Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: So life's a bitch. What do you want to do, cry about it? Racetrack: No, I just want it to end, okay? The bad food, the endless rotations, pretending that a card game is the high point of our day. Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: It's not going to last forever, all right? Earth is out there. Racetrack: Right. We could all be chasing our tails over some half-assed planetarium show. Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: And you guys can all go to hell. I'm going to go find Helo. Racetrack: Good idea... maybe that Cylon whore taught him a few tricks! (Starbuck calmly turns around, walks over to Racetrack, then violently grabs Racetrack by the neck and slams her head into the card table)
Duck: So he (Lt Helo) is the Cylon lover. Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: You know what? I don't care who or what he fracks. He saved my ass down there, all right? Duck: How could anyone fall in love with a toaster, though? Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: Same way I hear everyone was high-fiving our Sharon right before she put two in Adama's chest. The bastards frack with your head. Hotdog: Yeah. Just ask the Chief.
Lt Karl 'Helo' Agathon: Hey! Look, chief. I never intended for Sharon and I to - you know, it just kind of evolved. Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: Just a couple lovesick kids, huh? Lt Karl 'Helo' Agathon: I know how she felt about you, okay? She loves you. Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: Did she fill you in on the rest of the plan? She and I were going to muster out at the end of our service. You know, then we would get married. Maybe we would have children. I guess I'm just a big frackin' idiot, though, huh? Probably that goddamn Toaster's plan all along. Lt Karl 'Helo' Agathon: Don't call her that. Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: Sucker some moron into giving her a kid. Hey, you know, but you know what? I should probably be grateful to you. Probably be grateful. You know why? Because that freak in her belly could have been mine! (Helo and Tyrol break into a fight)
Lt Felix Gaeta: Sir, I'm running every diagnostic we've got. Checking each line of code could take days. Col Saul Tigh: I am not interested in excuses. Fix it. Lt Felix Gaeta: (shouting) It's not an excuse, sir. It's a fracking fact! (everyone in the CIC stares at Gaeta)
Col Saul Tigh: (Col Tigh happens upon Tyrol in a tool room) What's this, Chief? Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: I'm making solvent, sir, to clean machine parts. Col Saul Tigh: Solvent my ass. I know a still when I smell it.
Commander William Adama: Months on the run, and what do we have to show for it? Casualties. Deteriorating conditions. This crew needs a rest. It's finally hitting them, Saul. Our old lives are gone. The only thing we have to look forward to is this.
Commander William Adama: From that moment on, every day has been a gift. President Laura Roslin: From the Gods. Commander William Adama: No. From you.
D'anna Biers: (about Baltar) What a strange little man.
Col Saul Tigh: This is a military vessel, we have rumors for every occasion.
Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: What the hell happened? Kat's made the trap a hundred times. Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: Yeah, I guess 1-0-1's a real bitch, huh?
D'anna Biers: (after the Galactica gets attacked) Does this ever get any easier? Petty Officer 2nd Dualla: No, ma'am. It gets harder.
Paramedic Ishay: (after performing an emergency surgery on Adama) No more heart-massages for me, from now on I'm sticking to pills and enemas.
D'anna Biers: (interviewing) You seem to think that your pilots deserve special consideration. Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: Actually, I do. Like everyone else, my pilots have lost their families, their friends, everyone they ever cared about; but on top of that they're asked to put their lives on the line every single day, for a fleet that seems more interested in what they do wrong than in what they do right. They're not asking for your pity, but they damn well deserve your respect.
Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: I thought we were sparring. Commander William Adama: That's why you don't win.
Doctor Cottle: (to Gaius Baltar on an MRI table, who just had an outburst of yelling at no-one present) Will you stop going crazy in there? Doctor Gaius Baltar: (in the most paranoid voice imaginable) I'm not crazy!
Doctor Gaius Baltar: Lieutenant Thrace! Good to see you! Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: Good to see you too! Doctor Gaius Baltar: Really? Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: No! Number Six: Oh! Doctor Gaius Baltar: I wonder if she's a real blonde. Number Six: I doubt it.
Number Six: We're the children of humanity. That makes them our parents in a sense. Aaron Doral: True, but parents have to die. It's the only way children can come into their own.
Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: (to a new group of recruits) Attention on deck. (None of them move) That means on your feet, nuggets!
Leoben Conoy: I see love that bonds everything together. Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: You don't know the meaning of the word. Leoben Conoy: I know that God loved you more than anything. And how did you repay His divine love? With sin. Evil. So God created the Cylons. Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: The gods did not create you! We did! It was a stupid and fracked up decision, and we are paying for it. You destroyed my entire race! That is sin! That is evil! *That* is what *you* are.
Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: I have my flaws, too. Col Saul Tigh: The difference is my flaws are personal. Yours are professional.
Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: (after Starbuck has to plan a vital mission) I never wanted this kind of responsibility. Commander William Adama: The Cylons never asked us what we wanted. Welcome to the big leagues.
Doctor Gaius Baltar: (after finding out that he's being forced into becoming a politician while testing blood samples) Politics is the only thing more boring than blood samples.
Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: So... um... that bum knee of yours is looking pretty good. And the other one's not too bad either. Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: Lee, if you want to ask me to dance, just ask. Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: You want to dance? Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: Me in a dress is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Commander William Adama: I gave the order, Son. It was my responsibility. Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: I pulled the trigger. That's mine.
Doctor Gaius Baltar: You'll forgive me, Madam President, if I don't wish to be executed based solely on your... gut feeling.
Doctor Gaius Baltar: (after Baltar walks in on Boomer trying to commit suicide) Sometimes we must embrace that which opens up to us. Lt Sharon 'Boomer' Valerii: Embrace? Doctor Gaius Baltar: Life can be a curse, as well as a blessing. You will believe me when I say that there are far worse things than death in this world. Lt Sharon 'Boomer' Valerii: So what you're saying is... Doctor Gaius Baltar: No, no. What I'm saying means nothing. Listen to your heart. Do that which you truly believe to be right. (he kisses her on the forehead and walks out of the room, while he's walking down the hall he hears a gun fire)
Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: (while they're changing into their uniforms, Starbuck notices that hers isn't clean) You know, you should wash that. Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: I did. Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: When, a month ago? Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: Are you mocking my hygiene? Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: You have hygiene? Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: I clean up good sometimes, okay? Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: Well, let me know when it's one of those times.
Commander William Adama: Politics. As exciting as war. Definitely as dangerous. President Laura Roslin: Though in war, you can only get killed once. In politics it can happen over and over. Commander William Adama: You're still standing. President Laura Roslin: So are you.
Number Six: (ominously) God has a plan, Gaius. He has a plan for everything, and everyone.
Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: (before hitting an assailant over the head with a beer bottle) Were you looking for *this*?
Number Six: Life has a melody, Gaius.
Number Six: Life has a melody, Gaius. A rhythm of notes which become your existence once played in harmony with God's plan.
President Laura Roslin: Mr Zarek. Oh, don't worry, I won't be kissing you today. Tom Zarek: That's a shame. I shaved very closely in anticipation of being smacked by you.
(when Starbuck has landed in the Cylon ship) Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: Boy, when you take a souvenir, you don't screw around.
Doctor Gaius Baltar: All right, that's it! No more Mr Nice Gaius!
Crewman Specialist Cally: (analyzing the bio-mechanical Cylon Raider captured by Starbuck, Tyrol crawls inside the Raider with a flashlight while Cally reads him Starbuck's notes) Starbuck's notes on the Cylon Raider are a mess! She said the engine power-up sequence began... "By squeezing something that looks like a red ligament with blue veins on the right side... coming out of a sack of gooey fluid... shaped like a dog". Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: Are you kidding me? This whole thing is a bunch of veins and ligaments and sacks of goo! Crewman Specialist Cally: "... Squeeze the ligament with your hand, while you slide your weight on your left hip, into the lymphatic sack... " Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: Well, that's just stupid! Crewman Specialist Cally: (Col Tigh arrives) Oh, afternoon sir. Col Saul Tigh: Specialist. Chief's inside? Crewman Specialist Cally: Yeah. Col Saul Tigh: Chief? Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: Yes, sir? Col Saul Tigh: How's it coming in there? Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: Ah, I'm getting there, sir. Haven't quite figured out all the tricks but I'm getting there.
(repeated line, which a Six copy asks whenever it meets a human for the first time) Number Six: Are you alive?
Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: (Boomer is flying off in Starbuck's Cylon Raider) Bitch took my ride!
Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: (Starbuck has brought Helo to her old apartment on Caprica) You know, I never really liked this place anyway. The air conditioning doesn't work in the summer, the heater doesn't work in the winter, the rent's a crime. After the attack, I never... never pined over any of my old crap, never missed it - stupid view of that parking lot, broken toilet in the bathroom. You know, everyone I know is fighting to get back what they had. I'm fighting because I don't know how to do anything else.
Doctor Gaius Baltar: (Lt Crashdown has ordered his untrained, outnumbered men to make a suicidal attack on Cylon Centurions) This is insane. I've never fired a gun in my life! Selix: I haven't fired a weapon since 'Basic. Doctor Gaius Baltar: (to Cally) You? Crewman Specialist Cally: I only joined up to pay for dental school!
Ellen Tigh: So, you worried about Wallace Grey? I hear he's ahead in the vote count. Tom Zarek: Whatever the people want is fine by me. Ellen Tigh: Everyone has an agenda. I know I do. Tom Zarek: And what would that be? Ellen Tigh: Same as yours, Tom. Me, myself, and... ooh. I. Tom Zarek: You are... clearly a well-connected, well-informed woman. Ellen Tigh: Wife of the XO, for whatever that's worth. Tom Zarek: Ah. Quite a bit. Now, and in the future. Ellen Tigh: That's what I'm interested in, Tom. It's my place, and my... husband's place in the future. Tom Zarek: Okay. I'm looking for a friend of mine. His name is Valence. (scene immediately cuts to Valence dead in his cell in the brig with his wrists cut)
Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: She's right, huh? Sharon the Cylon is right? Let's all just listen to Sharon the Cylon! Do whatever she says. Because that's a good idea!
Crewman Specialist Cally: Tarn getting shot... it wasn't your fault, right, Chief? (Chief Tyrol is in a stunned silence) Crewman Specialist Cally: ... Talk to me, you motherfracker! Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: (snaps back to reality and laughs) Motherfracker?
Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: (Socinus has been mortally injured and Tyrol has to euthanize him with an overdose of morphine) Hey, buddy. It's the Chief. How you doing? Crewman Specialist Socinus: (wheezing) What's going on? Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: Oh, you know... listening to the birds. I got you a little something for the pain... (injects Socinus with the morphine overdose) ... Good news, buddy. The recovery party's here. Raptors just landed. We're going to put you on one and take you back to Galactica, okay? Crewman Specialist Socinus: We're... going... home? Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: Yeah... (tears welling in his eyes) We're going home. (Socinus dies)
Number Six: (Baltar has just shot and killed Lt Crashdown) Now you're a man.
Col Saul Tigh: I can't believe you sided with that woman against the Old Man, I wouldn't do that if you put a gun to my head, and you did! As far as I'm concerned you're not fit to wear the uniform. Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: Yeah, you're right about that part, I am not fit to wear the uniform. (turns to Tigh) Then again neither are you, but this isn't my ship, it sure as hell isn't yours. It's his, and when he wakes up he'll decide what to do with us both. (leaves sickbay to return to his cell)
Crewman Specialist Cally: (Chief Tyrol has been wrongly accused by Col Tigh of being a Cylon) I've known the Chief for years. He's no Toaster! Doctor Gaius Baltar: He was involved with Lieutenant Valerii, who most certainly is a Toaster. Number Six: That word is racist! I don't like it! Crewman Specialist Cally: Sure... he's shown some bad judgment getting involved with her. But that doesn't mean he's a Toaster. You've got to help him. Number Six: Say something, Gaius. Tell her you won't have racial epithets used in your presence!
Crewman Specialist Cally: (mechanics are building a new brig cell to imprison suspected Cylons) They're putting the Chief in there, you know. Jammer: I don't care if they put a giant parakeet in here. Colonel says build a cell, we build a cell. Crewman Specialist Cally: This isn't right. He's one of us! Jammer: No, he's one of them. He always was. We just never saw it. Crewman Specialist Cally: No, he's innocent! She tricked him! Jammer: Wow, such loyalty. Were you fracking him too? (Cally slams Jammer into a wall, then punches him in the face. Hard) Jammer: You want to get pissed at someone, you get pissed at Boomer. She's the one who put the Chief in the cell here, not us.
Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: (reacts to a joke) That was weak! So very, very weak! Samuel T. Anders: (playfully) Lighten up a little bit. It's only the end of the world.
Doctor Gaius Baltar: So the fate... of the entire human race depends upon my wild guess.
Commander William Adama: (Cain has not given Tyrol and Helo the court martial that she promised she would, and has sentenced them to death. Adama argues over the radio) You told me they'd get a fair trial. What kind of trial could they have possibly had?! Admiral Nelena Cain: I assure you I heard them out. I weighed their statements against those of the guards and I took into consideration their service records and commendations. It was a difficult decision Commander, but I dare say it was a fair one. Commander William Adama: They have the right to have their case heard by a jury! Admiral Nelena Cain: I am a flag officer on detached service during a time of war. Regulations give me broad authority in this matter. Commander William Adama: (to Tigh) Launch the fighters. (to Cain) You can quote me whatever regulation you'd like. I'm not going to let you execute my men! Admiral Nelena Cain: I highly suggest you reconsider that statement, Commander. Colonel Jack Fisk: Admiral, Galactica is launching Vipers and a Raptor. Admiral Nelena Cain: Commander, why are you launching Vipers?! Commander William Adama: Please arrange for Chief Tyrol and Lieutenant Agathon to be handed over to my marines as soon as they arrive. Admiral Nelena Cain: I don't take orders from you! Commander William Adama: Call it whatever you like. I'm getting my men. Admiral Nelena Cain: You are making *such* a mistake! Commander William Adama: I'm getting my men! (Adama hangs up) Admiral Nelena Cain: (back in the Battlestar Pegasus CIC) Action stations. (Alarm sounds) Colonel Jack Fisk: Admiral, this will spiral out of control fast. Admiral Nelena Cain: Launch the alert vipers. Adama has taken us over the line. He's left me with no choice. Launch the alert vipers. (Pegasus launches it's Vipers. Galactica's Vipers close in on Pegasus. Both groups of Vipers race towards each other. Screen goes black: "To be continued... ")
Lt Thorne: (Dr Baltar has been asked aboard the Battlestar Pegasus to examine their "Cylon prisoner") Don't get too close. It killed seven of my crew. Do you want my guards to come in with you? Number Six: Feeling scared, Gaius? Want the big, bad soldiers to protect you from the mean old Cylon prisoner? Doctor Gaius Baltar: No, I think we'll be just fine. Thank you. (They enter the cell block. In a cell on the other side of a wall of bullet-proof glass, they see the Cylon Prisoner: it is shackled to the floor with a foot-long chain connecting a metal collar around its neck to cuffs on its wrists and ankles, then bolted to the floor) Number Six: Oh, my God. (the Cylon comes into full view: it is a battered, tortured, starved, and repeatedly raped copy of the Number Six model) My God, Gaius, it's me! Look at what they've done to her! Doctor Gaius Baltar: Open the door, now, please. Computer Voice: ID confirmed. Lieutenant Thorne. (The door opens and Baltar instantly covers his face with a handkerchief: the stench is awful) Doctor Gaius Baltar: (Baltar examines the other Number Six: she is in a catatonic state) She must have struggled. She must have fought back. Number Six: (Crying) That doesn't justify this!
Doctor Gaius Baltar: My name is Gaius Baltar and I am here to help you.
Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: Sometimes you got to roll a hard six. Jammer: What does that mean, sir? Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: Uh... I don't know. It's something my dad says...
Commander William Adama: Sometimes, you have to roll a hard six.
Lt Sharon 'Boomer' Valerii: Sometimes you gotta roll the hard six. Right, commander?
Crewman Specialist Socinus: Hey, Cally, is it true? Did you really bite that guy's ear off? Crewman Specialist Cally: He's lucky that's not the only thing I bit off. Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: (proudly) That's my girl!
Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: (Tyrol is working on Starbuck's captured cylon raider) What seems to be the trouble, Chief? Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: Well, you're new boyfriend's a bit of a jerk, sir. Lt Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: It's a girl. Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: Well, if you don't mind her goo all over your face, you're welcome to her, sir.
Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: (in a deleted scene after Laura Roslin asked him if what she did was a mistake) I believe that it is never a mistake to follow your heart.
Commander William Adama: (giving a speech in the Hanger Deck) We have struggled since the attacks... trying to rely on one another. Our strength and our only hope as a people, is to remain undivided. We haven't always done all we could to insure that. Many people believe that the scriptures, the letters from the gods, will lead us to salvation. Maybe they will. But the gods shall lift those who lift each other." And so, to lift all of us, let me present once again the president of the colonies, Laura Roslin. (many members of the audience applaud but some do not. Adama walks to the crowd and begins to clap in rhythm. The crowd slowly catches on and eventually the entire Hanger Deck is applauding in rhythm as a sign of respect for the reinstated president)